Mourning

[ergomama]

My husband had a vasectomy a couple days ago. I feel like God has called me to be quiverfull, but he didn't. After much prayer on both sides, I felt Him call me to just submit to my husband, in spite of my heart....submission isn't always easy, although most of the time, my husband does (with God's grace) make it easy.

Nevertheless, I am mourning our potential children, and sad that my days snuggling a bitty one (my youngest is nearly a year old) or feeling the kicks of an unborn, are over. I know I did the right thing, but my heart is sad tonight.

I don't think I am asking for anything, just trying to get the words out so I don't become bitter....I'm not MAD at him, he is my head, and I know he prayed about it a lot.....

 

[katautumn]

Ergomama, my DH had a vasectomy before we were married. At the time I was thrilled. I had a child from a previous relationship and that experience (which was not pleasant) really soured my outlook on having more children. Well, my mind changed after we got married. His did not. Well, I say that. He regrets the vasectomy, but there were far too many risks involved with the reversal (he had a very low sperm count prior to the procedure, likely due to having a bad bout with the mumps as a child, which means conception likely would not be easy even after the reversal), plus we cannot afford it.

While I'm sad we likely will never have a child together, this is an area I've submitted to God. I've laid my emotional burden at the foot of the cross and am learning daily to be in love with the husband He blessed me with and not let this be a means for the enemy to get a foothold in our marriage. If it's God's will for us to have a child together, not even a vasectomy can stand in the way of His plan.