I'm sick and my concience isn't letting go

[sarah_egan]

I had two second trimester losses last year. I see a homeopath (who is Christian) and because I had the two losses she did a hair analysis to check for heavy metals. It turns out that I have heavy metal poisoning and I am very sick. I have twice the amount of arsenic in my body that's acceptable (that's just one- I have about 12 more metals/toxins that are through the roof high). It's a 6+ month process to detox and I can't take the meds if I'm pregnant. If I don't get this cleared out it could kill me.

I don't know what caused my miscarriages, but this is a possibility as to why. I did get pregnant and then lost the babies, which I do not want to go through again. But if I hadn't had the losses I'd have never have found out I was sick until it was too late so I am grateful for the good that came from it.

I love the concept of quivierfull, but I feel like it would be irresponsible of me to not avoid conception until I am better. We don't use BC pills- we use FAM and it's been very successful in avoiding pregnancy so far by knowing when I'm ovulating.

I would love to let go, but at the same time I feel that because I know I am sick and that God gave me the answers, that I should do my part to prevent another baby's death until I am better. Kind of like "Trust in God, but lock your doors and wear a seat belt" sort of thing.

Any thoughts on how to reconcile this in my head?

 

[bliz]

You are absolutely making the right choice. Until you are well,your body is not a safe place for a baby, and it seems highly likely you could loose another child, as well.

Have you figured out the cause of the heavy metal poisoning so that you are sure it has stopped?

 

[sarah_egan]

You are absolutely making the right choice. Until you are well,your body is not a safe place for a baby, and it seems highly likely you could loose another child, as well.

Have you figured out the cause of the heavy metal poisoning so that you are sure it has stopped?

The toxins are in everything. Food, shampoo, sunscreen, plastics, etc. I've had to start eating as organic as possible, change over all of my personal care products, cleaning products and more.

The test shows how your body processes the metals (ie fast, normal or slow) and my is functioning at the very end of slooooow. You are encountering the same metals, but probably your body is working properly and getting rid of them. She didn't know why (for sure) that it was acting slow but thinks it was stress. My last few years have been extremely stressful work wise, plus having a colicky baby for 5 months, plus a foster teenager who was violent, plus I am a nanny for a medically fragile 2.5 yr old that was a baby when my child was a baby (it was like having twins). It was one stress that would end and another would crop up. I've cut back heavily in my life to stop the stress. Also I know if I've been stressed, because I get instantly exhausted and can't get out of bed (it's a lot like the flu) so my body is forcing me to learn to take it easy.

Thank you for reaffirming my thoughts on this issue. I had felt very secure in preventing and then read several people's statements of faith (which are amazing and I admire them) and it shook me up. In the end my "gut" instict has been to prevent until I am healthy and then leave it to God. I really felt like that was where God was leading me, but had a human moment of doubt.

I'm trying to remind myself that if I had cancer, I would prevent pregnancy and not feel guilty about it and while this isn't the same thing, it's still pretty serious. Also it would be stressful to me to worry that I am pregnant every month, which would complicate my healing process.

 

[sarah_egan]

Just as an update I have God's intervention that I won't get pregnant. It took years to have my second child and I only had him because we figured out what was wrong and I got on a medication to clear it. It's called prolactinoma and it makes your body think your lactating (therefore I don't ovulate). While I have this I do not get pregnant and in order to clear it, I'll have to see an endocrinologist and get the medication again.

Yesterday I started to leak milk, almost a year after I last nursed a baby. God has provided my natural birth control!

 

[Sabertooth]

One thing you should consider:

To the QF mindset, contraception is acceptable when therapeutically necessary (if not abortifacient), it just isn't consistent when it's unnecessary.

 

[sarah_egan]

One thing you should consider:

To the QF mindset, contraception is acceptable when therapeutically necessary (if not abortifacient), it just isn't consistent when it's unnecessary.

I've had people argue with me that I should trust in God to take care of it (which I get), and others say that we should not test God and on and on (which is where I'm feeling lead to go).

 

[Sabertooth]

Well, your medicine that causes lactation seems to settle that argument nicely, then...!

 

[sarah_egan]

Well, your medicine that causes lactation seems to settle that argument nicely, then...!

No, the medication doesn't cause lactation. The lactation is caused by a benign tumor that sits at the base of my skull on my pituitary gland. I've had it for years and sometimes it causes lactation but if I take a medication I can get rid of the side effects for awhile.

 

[Sabertooth]

No, the medication doesn't cause lactation. The lactation is caused by a benign tumor that sits at the base of my skull on my pituitary gland. I've had it for years and sometimes it causes lactation but if I take a medication I can get rid of the side effects for awhile.

Sorry, I misunderstood.

 

[FreeSpirit74]

I'm just drifting around the forums, (I'm at work and I'm bored) so I saw this. You mention metals, so I ask you this: do you dye your hair with chemical dyes? Hair coloring that is not completely natural, like 100% lab-certified pure henna for example, is one of the worst substances you can use. It will trash your hair but, more importantly, it puts you at risk for an allergic reaction that can be life-threatening.

 

[sarah_egan]

I'm just drifting around the forums, (I'm at work and I'm bored) so I saw this. You mention metals, so I ask you this: do you dye your hair with chemical dyes? Hair coloring that is not completely natural, like 100% lab-certified pure henna for example, is one of the worst substances you can use. It will trash your hair but, more importantly, it puts you at risk for an allergic reaction that can be life-threatening.

No, I do not dye my hair

 

[BeanIrene]

I think God wants us to be there for our little ones too. You know what is wrong through allowing yourself to become pregnant, so now take care of yourself so that future pregnancies are still possible. Good luck and God Bless.

 

[ex-pat]

Just reading now...do you live in an OLD (Victorian/Edwardian) home? Old wallpaper, even if covered over can contain huge amounts of arsenic, and lead can be in paints.

 

[sarah_egan]

No, my house isn't more than 15 years old so it isn't the house. The oldest house I've lived in throughout my life was built in 1980 so no lead paint anywhere.

I'm over the initial detox. I've been compared to an Amish kid (because their bodies are always really healthy) so we got pregnant again and I miscarried again at 15 weeks. I've now been pregnant through those 3 pregnancy/miscarriages for 45 weeks.

My husband is praying about having more children and so far he's not gotten an answer. We chose to take a break time from relations to pray and draw closer to God and it's been a very good experience. We also had another test suggested that I needed to wait 2 cycles to get and could not be pregnant. The doctor expects this test to be normal because it would cause early miscarriages, not late ones, but she still wants to check the box that it was done.

My babies keep dying, we have no answers and no way to stop it. Every child is a blessing, but burying them and sitting next to their graves is ripping my heart into shreds.

My baby was fine. He was perfectly formed, genetically normal, I'm fine, every test that 4 different doctors (several specialists) could think to do has been normal. Except it's not normal or they wouldn't keep dying.

I'm praying God tells my husband that we should stop trying, even though we both really want more children. I just want to enjoy my living children and not be thrown down to the floor over and over again. They lose their mother for months on end while I grieve so deeply.

 

[Sabertooth]

Is there anything geographically different about where you've had successful pregnancies compared to these unsuccessful ones?

Those kinds of possibilities might include: high-power transmission lines, TV/radio transmitters, radon, water source issues, etc.

 

[sarah_egan]

No, we're in the same area. First kid was born alive in the first house, second kid was born alive in the 2nd house and we've been in this second house ever since.

 

[ex-pat]

So sorry for your losses...we had an early miscarriage in Feb, so I know the pain you must feel.

Silly question here, but...do you have sleep apnea (or do you snore, which can be an indication of sleep apnea?). Often with sleep apnea the baby can't get enough oxygen and dies....did they test you for that? (I hope you won't think it insensitive of me to ask, but I know you're trying to figure it out, in the hopes that you can know what happened).

Blessings to you and your family, and may Christ comfort you in your sorrow!

 

[sarah_egan]

no, no snoring or sleep apnea. I appreciate that you checked, though

 

[Mayzoo]

Have any of the babies that you lost been tested for a cause of death? It may seem odd or morbid, but it also may be one of the ways to answer your question as to why you are losing them.

 

[sarah_egan]

yes, my last son has a full autopsy, placenta examined, my husband and I examined- he was perfect, nothing was wrong, no cause of death.