God convicted me to QF but hubby won't

[kristyau]

Last year before I fell pregnant with my 6th child (have lost 2), God convicted me to leave family planning up to him. This was a very difficult thing for me to give to Him as we have always become pregnant at the drop of a hat, I always ovulate within a few weeks of giving birth, and we have had three premature births (two being born before 25 weeks - one died) and one miscarraige.
I talked with my hubby about it and he wasn't entirely convinced, but over the next few weeks he started to come around. Then we fell pregnant and a few weeks later I had such bad morning sickness and pelvis problems that I could no longer look after the house or homeschool the kids. Then at 24 weeks I gave birth. Our new baby girl had to stay in NICU for almost 4 months - which meant that I had to live away from home (and our other children) during this time. Since coming home, our baby has had numerous hospital stays and medical issues that are potentially life threatening.
I still want to be obedient to God with QF, although I am very scared. However, hubby has started using condoms and refuses to have any more kids. We can't talk about it without arguing (so we don't talk about it anymore), but I feel it effects our intimacy. I am trying to be submissive to my hubby, but at the same time feel like I'm not doing God's will.Two years ago we had numerous prophesies over us saying we were to have many more children through my womb.
Is there anyone else who has been through a similar situation. Men - what should I do in rergards to my hubby???

 

[jgonz]

At this point, my advice is to wait on the Lord to work on your DH's fears (well, and yours too). Just let your DH do what he thinks he needs to right now. It's ultimately between him and God.

Condoms don't always work (as I know well ) but at the same time, God knows your heart. He knows your DH's heart. And He knows how much you can handle~ and what you can't. He also knows the perfect timing for your next child, should He decide you and your DH are going to have another.

None of us can just assume that we will keep on having children because we have gotten pregnant so quickly all the other times.... God was the one Making you fertile for those babies, it wasn't that you and your DH are extremely fertile and will be forever. He is in charge.

 

[Sabertooth]

I would agree with jgonz. Also, if you can, try to evaluate the failed pregnancies/infant mortalities to see if there is a common cause that can be addressed pro-actively.

 

[kristyau]

I would agree with jgonz. Also, if you can, try to evaluate the failed pregnancies/infant mortalities to see if there is a common cause that can be addressed pro-actively.

The first three were because of an incompetant cervix, the last one was because of an undetected asymptomatic (no visible symptoms) urinary tract infection. At my 6 week checkup after my last pregancy, my ob gyn said he doesn't see any reason why I can't go full term next time as long as I have regular tests etc. I have told hubby this, but because there is never a 100% certanty of going to full term (for anyone) he doesn't want to try.

 

[McScribe]

Last year before I fell pregnant with my 6th child (have lost 2), God convicted me to leave family planning up to him. This was a very difficult thing for me to give to Him as we have always become pregnant at the drop of a hat, I always ovulate within a few weeks of giving birth, and we have had three premature births (two being born before 25 weeks - one died) and one miscarraige.
I talked with my hubby about it and he wasn't entirely convinced, but over the next few weeks he started to come around. Then we fell pregnant and a few weeks later I had such bad morning sickness and pelvis problems that I could no longer look after the house or homeschool the kids. Then at 24 weeks I gave birth. Our new baby girl had to stay in NICU for almost 4 months - which meant that I had to live away from home (and our other children) during this time. Since coming home, our baby has had numerous hospital stays and medical issues that are potentially life threatening.
I still want to be obedient to God with QF, although I am very scared. However, hubby has started using condoms and refuses to have any more kids. We can't talk about it without arguing (so we don't talk about it anymore), but I feel it effects our intimacy. I am trying to be submissive to my hubby, but at the same time feel like I'm not doing God's will.Two years ago we had numerous prophesies over us saying we were to have many more children through my womb.
Is there anyone else who has been through a similar situation. Men - what should I do in rergards to my hubby???

Why does your husband not want more kids? Do you know?

I also encourage you to lay the idea of having more kids upon the altar of God. It doesn't matter what was said before; this is your life NOW, so it is no shame to speak like Gideon to God and say "Lord, is this really You?" And then to speak further of this to God, to talk with Him about your husband. Genuinely humble yourself and find out via your relationship with God how to talk to your husband, how to encourage him to open his heart up about this. I will pray in agreement for you that you will know the truth about this and be freed by it, in Jesus' Name.

 

[kristyau]

Why does your husband not want more kids? Do you know?

I also encourage you to lay the idea of having more kids upon the altar of God. It doesn't matter what was said before; this is your life NOW, so it is no shame to speak like Gideon to God and say "Lord, is this really You?" And then to speak further of this to God, to talk with Him about your husband. Genuinely humble yourself and find out via your relationship with God how to talk to your husband, how to encourage him to open his heart up about this. I will pray in agreement for you that you will know the truth about this and be freed by it, in Jesus' Name.

He has only said because he can't go through another possibility of having a prem baby (it was very stressful and difficult for us all - not on our marraige, but in every other sense).
Thankyou for the prayer. I will do what you said.

 

[kristyau]

Thanks for praying guys.
I was praying to God last Sunday telling Him of how I wanted to obey Him in QF but couldn't because of hubby. I really felt the Lord clearly answer me with, "To obey me, you need to submit to your husband and give control of the situation to me". I felt relief in that.
Later that day, my hubby brought up the topic of more children. He explained that he isn't saying we will never have anymore children, just that he isn't yet in a place to be able to think about it. He still believes it's ok to use condoms, and is worried that if we don't then we might get pregnant again too soon. So it seems God is slowly working on my hubby's heart. I feel better knowing that there is hope.

 

[JmelynnOU]

WHat does DH mean? I see it in like every post.

 

[Etsi]

DH = dear hubby

 

[JmelynnOU]

DH = dear hubby

THANKS ETSI!

 

[ergomama]

Mama, I've been where you are. My husband also prayed about it and decided to get a V. I submitted to his will, and to his decision, and in my head, I accept it. My heart is broken, but, I am obeying God by submitting to my husband. If my husband was wrong in his decision, God will make that clear to him.

I don't know what the future will bring, and I am sad that I will likely not have more children, but I had to do what the Bible commands me in submitting....but, I do know how you feel, and I wanted you to know you are not alone. I will pray for you, and for him.

 

[Niffer]

I can completely understand you wanting to be QF and having a large family.
However, you already have...6 I believe?? (sorry I can't quite remember) and as much as you want to keep having, it obviously takes a serious toll on your health.
I know you want more children, but you also have to remember that your children need their mother too.
If you keep trying and having issues, you could potentially be away from again for ages, or like you said, too sick to do anything.

I understand your desires to have more now, but they need you now too.

Peace,
- Niffer

 

[Sabertooth]

If she is typical for QF, it isn't so much about wanting more, than it is about feeling like you stopped prematurely. In QF, we generally feel a sense of closure after the "last" one gets here, whether there are many or few.