Feeling "Pressured" To Join a Small Group

[tjrevelations]

I'm "newish" to my local church. I had been asking around to see if there might be a compatible small group I could join. The church talks about it a lot and considers it to be vital to feeling more connected to the church.

I agree in principle if I could find the right group I could feel comfortable joining. I've felt comfortable talking to most everyone in the church so far, so I don't think it would be a huge challenge to find a good fit.

Having said that I'd prefer a young adults group and quite frankly it's not looking like those are even in the offering at this point. A men's group would be a close second.

Two relatively minor issues.
1. the cost of gas is now $6/gal locally, up close to 50%. I'm definitely being more frugal with my trips and trying to combine trips whenever possible.

2. I'm feeling a bit of "pressure" from some of the new people I've met. Good guys with good intentions but it feels slightly pushy just a touch too intense. Enough so I'm actually thinking about bailing on the church. It's only one person but the church is small enough that I'd be seeing this person often.

I tend to get irritated in these types of situations (latter) and I'm tempted to bail on the situation to avoid any stressful/strange/confrontational vibes.

The reality is, there aren't that many viable options locally or even driving out. The churches farther out are still going crazy with masking and locally young adult groups no longer seem to be a thing. Strange times we live in.

 

[disciple Clint]

I'm "newish" to my local church. I had been asking around to see if there might be a compatible small group I could join. The church talks about it a lot and considers it to be vital to feeling more connected to the church.

I agree in principle if I could find the right group I could feel comfortable joining. I've felt comfortable talking to most everyone in the church so far, so I don't think it would be a huge challenge to find a good fit.

Having said that I'd prefer a young adults group and quite frankly it's not looking like those are even in the offering at this point. A men's group would be a close second.

Two relatively minor issues.
1. the cost of gas is now $6/gal locally, up close to 50%. I'm definitely being more frugal with my trips and trying to combine trips whenever possible.

2. I'm feeling a bit of "pressure" from some of the new people I've met. Good guys with good intentions but it feels slightly pushy just a touch too intense. Enough so I'm actually thinking about bailing on the church. It's only one person but the church is small enough that I'd be seeing this person often.

I tend to get irritated in these types of situations (latter) and I'm tempted to bail on the situation to avoid any stressful/strange/confrontational vibes.

The reality is, there aren't that many viable options locally or even driving out. The churches farther out are still going crazy with masking and locally young adult groups no longer seem to be a thing. Strange times we live in.

why not be honest with the person that is causing you to feel that way, I am certain that it is not intentional on their part, tell them how you feel ask them to help you feel more comfortable around them.

 

[com7fy8]

It could be good to join a group that has leaders in it, so you can get to know the leaders.

 

[Aussie Pete]

I'm "newish" to my local church. I had been asking around to see if there might be a compatible small group I could join. The church talks about it a lot and considers it to be vital to feeling more connected to the church.

I agree in principle if I could find the right group I could feel comfortable joining. I've felt comfortable talking to most everyone in the church so far, so I don't think it would be a huge challenge to find a good fit.

Having said that I'd prefer a young adults group and quite frankly it's not looking like those are even in the offering at this point. A men's group would be a close second.

Two relatively minor issues.
1. the cost of gas is now $6/gal locally, up close to 50%. I'm definitely being more frugal with my trips and trying to combine trips whenever possible.

2. I'm feeling a bit of "pressure" from some of the new people I've met. Good guys with good intentions but it feels slightly pushy just a touch too intense. Enough so I'm actually thinking about bailing on the church. It's only one person but the church is small enough that I'd be seeing this person often.

I tend to get irritated in these types of situations (latter) and I'm tempted to bail on the situation to avoid any stressful/strange/confrontational vibes.

The reality is, there aren't that many viable options locally or even driving out. The churches farther out are still going crazy with masking and locally young adult groups no longer seem to be a thing. Strange times we live in.

If you are looking for perfection, forget it. I also don't see any Biblical justification for age discrimination. "All one in Christ Jesus".

God does not necessarily want us to be completely comfortable. If you want to eat whatever you like, go to a restaurant. If you want a family meal, you eat what is served up. You will grow as a Christian when you are under pressure. Darby translated Psalm 4:1 "In pressure your have enlarged me." One of the problems Christians have is a narrow outlook on life. God wants to enlarge our hearts. That won't happen if we run away from anything that does not suit us.

 

[Tolworth John]

I agree in principle if I could find the right group I could feel comfortable joining. I've felt comfortable talking to most everyone in the church so far, so I don't think it would be a huge challenge to find a good fit.

Having said that I'd prefer a young adults group and quite frankly it's not looking like those are even in the offering at this point. A men's group would be a close second.

Talk to the minister, or who co-ordinates these groups, so you can attend several groups and see who goes.

If someone is applying preasure either tell him off or go to another group.

 

[tjrevelations]

I don't feel any need to tell him off, he means well and is generally friendly.

This is a medium sized church with passionate believers so I am adjusting from the larger church with hordes of non christians constantly on the lookout for free hospitality and/or free daycare to true christians who have a genuine faith. This leads to some going ever so slightly overboard but I do think it's in the interest of trying to help.

FYI, this church does have true evangelical christians and street preachers! The previous church did not believe in actual public preaching: they would try to be very "subtle" about it and street preaching was completely out of the question.

When I was living in a different city, I showed up at a nice church and during my first visit, I was introduced to the pastor who volunteered me for a position in the church immediately! I couldn't refuse of course, but the volunteer position was not well suited for me and I could see why it had gone unfilled for quite some time.

 

[Daniel Marsh]

I'm "newish" to my local church. I had been asking around to see if there might be a compatible small group I could join. The church talks about it a lot and considers it to be vital to feeling more connected to the church.

I agree in principle if I could find the right group I could feel comfortable joining. I've felt comfortable talking to most everyone in the church so far, so I don't think it would be a huge challenge to find a good fit.

Having said that I'd prefer a young adults group and quite frankly it's not looking like those are even in the offering at this point. A men's group would be a close second.

Two relatively minor issues.
1. the cost of gas is now $6/gal locally, up close to 50%. I'm definitely being more frugal with my trips and trying to combine trips whenever possible.

2. I'm feeling a bit of "pressure" from some of the new people I've met. Good guys with good intentions but it feels slightly pushy just a touch too intense. Enough so I'm actually thinking about bailing on the church. It's only one person but the church is small enough that I'd be seeing this person often.

I tend to get irritated in these types of situations (latter) and I'm tempted to bail on the situation to avoid any stressful/strange/confrontational vibes.

The reality is, there aren't that many viable options locally or even driving out. The churches farther out are still going crazy with masking and locally young adult groups no longer seem to be a thing. Strange times we live in.

Invite them to start a small group at your house.