Family Support?

[Mayzoo]

How is your family support system?

My sister is it for us. I have no other family. She listens, and tries to understand, but she is thousands of miles away. Locally--my parent in-laws keep asking "have you got it fixed yet?" like our daughter has a flat tire, my father in law won't have anything to do with Mary because I guess he thinks she is "defective" or something, and my sister in-law is compasionate, but she just leaves the room in tears when my daughter has a pain episode. We can't leave her with any family (as you can see). We can't put her in daycare, because falls bring on a pain episode, and can actually cause her conditions to worsen, and let's face it kids--even if they are not being cruel--are rowdy. I have one friend we just began to trust our daughter with. She is a blessing. She cringes when Mary has pain episodes, but she can medicate her, and she can keep her from hurting herself worse until the medicine works. My hubby, and I actually got to go on a couple hour day date for the first time in over four years.

So, how does your families respond?

Mayzoo

 

[RooMama]

We are very fortunate in that our families have been very supportive so far. Although, in my opinion, there is still too much crying over Phillip. He's doing so well and making so much progress, we all need to hope for the best instead of dwelling on the worst.

 

[Lena75]

Our family support is great! Although in the beginning it was kind of rocky with my parents. To this day my mom will send me links with this and that (mostly natural health alternatives) to "improve" my son's "situation". But she is learning to accept him for who he is instead of him not being like the other kids.

I also have a friend that I talk to on a regular basis. She herself has a special needs son so we have alot we can relate to! Hers is more complicated, though. We've also been attending family support groups on a monthly basis where we meet with other families of special needs children. Interesting meetings! I usually come home not feeling quite so isolated.

 

[kayd1966]

In general our families have been supportive however they believe that most of "it" is in my head and if I would "just leave him alone, he'll right himself and everything will be just fine".

I didn't let him be, I put him in school and run a home program. He's doing really well and advancing well in most situations. So...now I hear, "see he's doing just fine, I don't see what the fuss was all about"

 

[Tea]

I can handle ignorant statement from people that truely don't understand the situation, what really gets me, is when people (insert family) have had it explained (and usually more than once), have had books with reams of information given to them, have seen the child in hospital from complications, and yet still refuse to be educated and informed, and insist on denying the situation, and continually imply that "your" the one with the problem, who refuses to admit that some "alternative therapy" could "heal" your child.
Sorry for the rant, this is a pet peeve.
Tracey

 

[Mayzoo]

My mother in law used to try to understand. Now that her husband--Mary's "grandfather" has made his choice to never try and see her, and if he is in the same room (family events) with her or me--he just ignores her in everyway.....I am afraid to him, she is dead. Since her husband has taken this stance, two years ago, she is torn in the middle--and has always choosen to stay at her husband's side. Even when that means she loses her grandaughter.

We all have to make our own decissions---then we have to live with them.

Out of bad can come some good....my in laws were the only grandparents our daughter had. Since she has lost them--we have meet and "adopted" a set of grandparents who just adore our daughter. Very long story but lots of "coinsidensceses" involved there.

 

[suzybeezy]

As I have four children, two with special needs, family support is essential. We are very fortunate to have most of our family very local and always willing to lend a hand when we needed. And I mean very local, I've got my mom and dad about 2 blocks away and she was always super willing to watch one kid while I took the other to the doctors or when one had to stay in the hospital, she'd keep the other at her house. She was a true gem and a key ingredient on how I've been able to manage. When she needs a break, I have a sister who lives at the end of my block willing to help; and get this - 3 sister-in-laws who live just next door. I'm also very fortunate because my two oldest kids, 17 and 13 have also been willing to help out where needed like picking up an extra chore, when mom was busy with one of the boys or watching them while I hop in the shower. Sometimes its those small little things that mean the world. So I am overblessed with family support and help.

 

[LindyLouWho]

Several people in my family have a disability and so we mesh together. My step brother holds all up and together.