Email Joke Thread

JagSayon

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Jun 16, 2002
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A friend of mine lives in a small town. One evening he went to town for a movie with his friends. He was having a lot fun before he realized it was getting very late. He quickly made his way home. It was unusually dark and creepy that night. As he was walking, he was astonished to find an old, creepy-looking street peddler selling some books along the road. It gave him the shivers when he noticed this pale old guy staring at him.  The old guy said, "Son, why don't you get a book ... it will keep you company".


My friend acted brave and thought why not. He had a look at the old man's collection ... his hair began to rise up on end when he noticed all the books were related to the supernatural. Nonetheless, he found one that was very interesting so he asked the old man, "How much is this, Uncle?" The old guy replied, "Well son ... that's an interesting book ... it's S$250." My friend was shocked and said "But ... but ... that's so expensive..." The old man said nothing but glared at my friend which freaked him out. He quickly rummaged through his pockets and found S$200. "T-t-this's all I have" he said. The old guy replied, "It's okay, son ....you can have the book for that price." As my friend hastily paid for it and made a dash for home, the old man called out to him and said, "Son ...whatever happens, don't you ever flip the book to it's last page ... remember these words
...or you will regret it!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Reaching home, he quickly asked his parents, "Dad ...mom ... are there any new booksellers nearby?" "Not that we know of ... but we've heard of a creepy old man that appears only at night during a full moon and then disappears just as mysteriously. Nobody knows who he is, or where he comes from but many have become victims in his wake... why son?" "N-nothing... just asking", said my friend and ran straight to his room. Nervously, he opened the book and began reading, all the time remembering the warning the old man had given him. But after a while, he grew tired and fell asleep. At midnight, as he was sound asleep in bed, a cold gush of wind blew in through his bedroom window which startled him and sent chills down his spine. He looked at his table and noticed the wind had blown the pages of the book to its last page!!!!!

For awhile, he laid in bed - frozen in fear, but soon curiosity got the better of him.He had to know what was on the last page. Slowly he got out of bed and carefully picked up the book. As he glimpsed at the last page, he let out a blood-curling scream and
fainted ...

This is what he read on the last page:

Retail Price : S$ 20

Promotional Price : S$ 10


:D:D:D

Jag
 

JagSayon

Active Member
Jun 16, 2002
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Stress Reliever #1
Hubby : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office.Why?
Wife : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Hubby : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Wife : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one ?

Stress Reliever #2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries,troubles and lighten your burden. 
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. 
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

Stress Reliever #3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. 
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. 
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. 

Stress Reliever #4
Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?" 
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear." 
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 a.m?!" 
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs." 


Stress Reliever #5 
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have 
married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" 
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married 
you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE" ;)

Stress Reliever #6
Father to son after exam:"let me see your report card." 
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." 


Stress Reliever #7 
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate. 
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." 
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?" 
"He was the original owner." 

Stress Reliever #8
In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: "Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin." Not long 
after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told these men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but as the Lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote: "Returned unopened." ;)


Stress Reliever #9
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word" beans". "My father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said another. Then little Johnny spoke up : "We are all human beans." 


Stress Reliever #10 
Teacher : Let's take the example of the busy ant. He is busy all the time, works all day and every day. Then what happens? 
Little Johnny: He gets stepped on. ;)

Stress Reliever #11
Interviewer to Millionaire : To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to ?" 
Millionaire : "I owe everything to my wife." 
Interviewer : "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her ?" 
Millionaire: "A Billionaire" ;)


Jag
 
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