Did getting married make you happy?

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I know the obvious answer would be yeah..but I always feel..like if I had someone to share my life with that would make me happy...to not be alone again..

But sometimes I have my doubts..like would I be happy being joined to the hip with my mate....have I been alone to long to really be able to even connect with said person? Am I just better off alone?

Sometimes I'm not sure, but I think the positive benefits far outweigh the trials that's to be expected when you grow with a person...

So I just wanted to know..did being married make you a happier person prior to being married?
(( you can stop here if you like, ill just be rambling below ))
_______________________
Also I know someone will bring this up, but I don't believe you have to love yourself in order for someone else to love you...and here's why. I had a friend who literally hated himself, I heard him go on rants about himself and almost committed suicide...but he still found love and his gf helped him to love himself more then he already did... So I think that statement is false.

Now that's not to say people are obliged to take you and accept you at your worst..people who do are very rare and imo are the definition of unconditional love because the person didn't have to sort and unpack their baggage to get with them.....but I feel the whole notion of loving yourself should be done for you and you alone.
Not to attract a mate or even friends.,,because as I stated,real friends or a real mate wouldn't require you to be completely perfect.

But I also feel that no one person should be loaded with someone else's issues, so out of courtesy to your person of interest... I think it'd be easier all the way around to just work on yourself...but I still think true friends or even a lover don't require you to be perfect and would help you along....

Lastly, with all this said...even if you have all your T's crossed and i's dotted, that doesn't guarantee a mate. I've talked to girls who are sweet, have a degree,friends and their own place and still haven't found a boyfriend... Same for guys...

I personally feel that most times, when it comes to being married...I feel it has to be meant for you, the stars have to be aligned,fate,destiny ( whatever you want to call it)) because I've seen people who have nothing to offer ..not even a ged and a job get married to a quality mate...and p3ople who had it all together struggle to find love...

So sometimes I feel there's no clear cut method to find love ...which is why I say that statement, "you have to love yourself before others love you" isn't necessarily true..

Because loving yourself and having your act together won't guarantee love...but its still beneficial..because the people who love unconditionally like I listed above are rare..and imo..meant to be with those who are truly suffering... But yeah , I think the reason why loving yourself is so beneficial is because...

No one will do it for you, doing it doesn't guarantee a mate but it will improve yourself esteem and give you a better outlook on life,,,thats what loving yourself does..

Okay my mini novel is complete.... If you disagree that's okay, is just love a thorough discussion and examples provided like I did with my friend..below. Oh and don't forget the original question xD, I know I've been going on...but basically it was , was ( Did getting married make you happy? Happier than you were being single?)

 

[inquiring mind]

So I just wanted to know..did being married make you a happier person prior to being married?

Worked for me... almost 32 years now.

 

[Bob S]

Worked for me... almost 32 years now.

60 years for us. When the right one comes along and you are thinking with the correct part of the brain you will know it. Life has been wonderful and we have 4 children that think the same.

 

[Goatee]

30 years here and sliding down the volcano!

 

[Wolf_Says]

So I just wanted to know..did being married make you a happier person prior to being married?

Just to note, I read everything, but since this is the question, this is what I will answer.

Yes, of course it made me happy, but that doesn't mean I wasn't happy before when me and my wife were just dating and then fiances.

Marriage is work, literally. Everybody seems to forget what happens after the honeymoon; aka life. It is hard, there are ups and there are downs.

There will be days when you guys are over the moon with each other, and then there will be days where you really don't want to talk to each other. It happens, marriage is hard work.

But yes, I am happy with my wife, and the life that we have built so far (almost 3 years married, still have a long way to go till our life is complete ) and I continue to look forward to our adventures and what will happen down the road.

However, this is going into the rant part, you really SHOULD love yourself before you love somebody else. The reason why is because if you don't love yourself, you wont even KNOW yourself, like hobbies, music, faith, personality, ect. Marriage brings two people together, and they become one flesh, but don't let that stop you from being you. If you had hobbies before you were married (like, for me, writing) then be sure to keep them afterwards. Remember it's part of who you are, the person your spouse fell in love with.

Don't become so much like your spouse that you stop being you. It only makes things boring in a sense that everything is the same, and your spouse will start to wonder what happened to the person they married. It happens to many times in marriage, but try to prevent it.

 

[dysert]

Getting married made me happy for a while, but I'm not a happy guy in general, so I eventually slid back down to being "flat".

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad to be married. It's nice to have someone to share life with, and I'd hate to be alone all the time. But I don't think it's my wife's job to make me happy. She's tried, but she can't do it. If I'm to be happy it's up to me.

Bottom line: don't get married just because you think it will make you happy. Because if it doesn't you're in a world of hurt. Get married because you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with him.

 

[PrettyboyAndy]

I know the obvious answer would be yeah..but I always feel..like if I had someone to share my life with that would make me happy...to not be alone again..

But sometimes I have my doubts..like would I be happy being joined to the hip with my mate....have I been alone to long to really be able to even connect with said person? Am I just better off alone?

Sometimes I'm not sure, but I think the positive benefits far outweigh the trials that's to be expected when you grow with a person...

So I just wanted to know..did being married make you a happier person prior to being married?
(( you can stop here if you like, ill just be rambling below ))
_______________________
Also I know someone will bring this up, but I don't believe you have to love yourself in order for someone else to love you...and here's why. I had a friend who literally hated himself, I heard him go on rants about himself and almost committed suicide...but he still found love and his gf helped him to love himself more then he already did... So I think that statement is false.

Now that's not to say people are obliged to take you and accept you at your worst..people who do are very rare and imo are the definition of unconditional love because the person didn't have to sort and unpack their baggage to get with them.....but I feel the whole notion of loving yourself should be done for you and you alone.
Not to attract a mate or even friends.,,because as I stated,real friends or a real mate wouldn't require you to be completely perfect.

But I also feel that no one person should be loaded with someone else's issues, so out of courtesy to your person of interest... I think it'd be easier all the way around to just work on yourself...but I still think true friends or even a lover don't require you to be perfect and would help you along....

Lastly, with all this said...even if you have all your T's crossed and i's dotted, that doesn't guarantee a mate. I've talked to girls who are sweet, have a degree,friends and their own place and still haven't found a boyfriend... Same for guys...

I personally feel that most times, when it comes to being married...I feel it has to be meant for you, the stars have to be aligned,fate,destiny ( whatever you want to call it)) because I've seen people who have nothing to offer ..not even a ged and a job get married to a quality mate...and p3ople who had it all together struggle to find love...

So sometimes I feel there's no clear cut method to find love ...which is why I say that statement, "you have to love yourself before others love you" isn't necessarily true..

Because loving yourself and having your act together won't guarantee love...but its still beneficial..because the people who love unconditionally like I listed above are rare..and imo..meant to be with those who are truly suffering... But yeah , I think the reason why loving yourself is so beneficial is because...

No one will do it for you, doing it doesn't guarantee a mate but it will improve yourself esteem and give you a better outlook on life,,,thats what loving yourself does..

Okay my mini novel is complete.... If you disagree that's okay, is just love a thorough discussion and examples provided like I did with my friend..below. Oh and don't forget the original question xD, I know I've been going on...but basically it was , was ( Did getting married make you happy? Happier than you were being single?)

Not necessarily

 

[grasping the after wind]

No. Getting married did not make me happy. Happiness is a state of mind not something that can be made to happen by outside forces. I am happily married and have been for 36 years but my happiness was not caused by nor is it predicated upon my getting and staying married it is a result of a decision to be content. I would say that a good marriage is a symptom of insisting upon happiness rather than happiness is a symptom of being married. If you hope to become happy by virtue of becoming married you will almost surely become disappointed. the things that bring us joy and pleasure like a good marriage are to be valued but lasting happiness is more a function of attitude than of circumstance.

 

[Darkhorse]

When I was single and heard married people talk about how good it was, I would wonder "Are they just saying this because they're jealous of singles and want everyone to be trapped like they are?".

I tend to be a skeptic.

My marriage has made me happier than my best hopes. I've seen so many unhappy couples that I became cynical. I was wrong.

It all comes down to depending on God to find the right person, and including God in your marriage to enable two imperfect people to maintain a great lifetime relationship.

We've been married 26 years; the only marriage for both of us.

 

[Bible Highlighter]

I know the obvious answer would be yeah..but I always feel..like if I had someone to share my life with that would make me happy...to not be alone again..

But sometimes I have my doubts..like would I be happy being joined to the hip with my mate....have I been alone to long to really be able to even connect with said person? Am I just better off alone?

Sometimes I'm not sure, but I think the positive benefits far outweigh the trials that's to be expected when you grow with a person...

So I just wanted to know..did being married make you a happier person prior to being married?
(( you can stop here if you like, ill just be rambling below ))
_______________________
Also I know someone will bring this up, but I don't believe you have to love yourself in order for someone else to love you...and here's why. I had a friend who literally hated himself, I heard him go on rants about himself and almost committed suicide...but he still found love and his gf helped him to love himself more then he already did... So I think that statement is false.

Now that's not to say people are obliged to take you and accept you at your worst..people who do are very rare and imo are the definition of unconditional love because the person didn't have to sort and unpack their baggage to get with them.....but I feel the whole notion of loving yourself should be done for you and you alone.
Not to attract a mate or even friends.,,because as I stated,real friends or a real mate wouldn't require you to be completely perfect.

But I also feel that no one person should be loaded with someone else's issues, so out of courtesy to your person of interest... I think it'd be easier all the way around to just work on yourself...but I still think true friends or even a lover don't require you to be perfect and would help you along....

Lastly, with all this said...even if you have all your T's crossed and i's dotted, that doesn't guarantee a mate. I've talked to girls who are sweet, have a degree,friends and their own place and still haven't found a boyfriend... Same for guys...

I personally feel that most times, when it comes to being married...I feel it has to be meant for you, the stars have to be aligned,fate,destiny ( whatever you want to call it)) because I've seen people who have nothing to offer ..not even a ged and a job get married to a quality mate...and p3ople who had it all together struggle to find love...

So sometimes I feel there's no clear cut method to find love ...which is why I say that statement, "you have to love yourself before others love you" isn't necessarily true..

Because loving yourself and having your act together won't guarantee love...but its still beneficial..because the people who love unconditionally like I listed above are rare..and imo..meant to be with those who are truly suffering... But yeah , I think the reason why loving yourself is so beneficial is because...

No one will do it for you, doing it doesn't guarantee a mate but it will improve yourself esteem and give you a better outlook on life,,,thats what loving yourself does..

Okay my mini novel is complete.... If you disagree that's okay, is just love a thorough discussion and examples provided like I did with my friend..below. Oh and don't forget the original question xD, I know I've been going on...but basically it was , was ( Did getting married make you happy? Happier than you were being single?)

Ask God to give you a soul mate and then leave it up to the LORD. He is wise in all He does. As for happiness: Yes, I have been married for 9 months now and it has been great. Marriage will increase the happiness you already have in Christ. For iron sharpens iron.


...

 

[LRose613]

I'm married two years in June, and I know that my husband is the man who God made for me. We aren't always 100% happy, but married, dating, single, whatever - no one is 100% happy. I have had depression issues my entire life, and we both have addictive personalities, so we struggle - I'm addicted to food and video games, he's addicted to cigarettes. We are working on it. We work each day to make each other happy, we try to better ourselves for one another.

Marriage itself will NOT make you happy but, having a spouse that does most things with you and focuses on making you happy will make you happy, but only if you do most things for their joy and contentment as well. I hope that makes sense.

Basically what I'm trying to say is, it won't fix your depression, it won't fix your sin, but in a marriage you can help one another overcome things, having that partnership is a wonderful thing.

 

[Dave-W]

So I just wanted to know..did being married make you a happier person prior to being married?

I have to give it a very firm YES, and NO.

There were so many positives of sharing my life (our lives) together that it was a YES.

But the one thing that marriage is supposed to satisfy - your sex drive - that was a huge NO.

 

[Bible Highlighter]

I know the obvious answer would be yeah..but I always feel..like if I had someone to share my life with that would make me happy...to not be alone again..

But sometimes I have my doubts..like would I be happy being joined to the hip with my mate....have I been alone to long to really be able to even connect with said person? Am I just better off alone?

Sometimes I'm not sure, but I think the positive benefits far outweigh the trials that's to be expected when you grow with a person...

So I just wanted to know..did being married make you a happier person prior to being married?
(( you can stop here if you like, ill just be rambling below ))
_______________________
Also I know someone will bring this up, but I don't believe you have to love yourself in order for someone else to love you...and here's why. I had a friend who literally hated himself, I heard him go on rants about himself and almost committed suicide...but he still found love and his gf helped him to love himself more then he already did... So I think that statement is false.

Now that's not to say people are obliged to take you and accept you at your worst..people who do are very rare and imo are the definition of unconditional love because the person didn't have to sort and unpack their baggage to get with them.....but I feel the whole notion of loving yourself should be done for you and you alone.
Not to attract a mate or even friends.,,because as I stated,real friends or a real mate wouldn't require you to be completely perfect.

But I also feel that no one person should be loaded with someone else's issues, so out of courtesy to your person of interest... I think it'd be easier all the way around to just work on yourself...but I still think true friends or even a lover don't require you to be perfect and would help you along....

Lastly, with all this said...even if you have all your T's crossed and i's dotted, that doesn't guarantee a mate. I've talked to girls who are sweet, have a degree,friends and their own place and still haven't found a boyfriend... Same for guys...

I personally feel that most times, when it comes to being married...I feel it has to be meant for you, the stars have to be aligned,fate,destiny ( whatever you want to call it)) because I've seen people who have nothing to offer ..not even a ged and a job get married to a quality mate...and p3ople who had it all together struggle to find love...

So sometimes I feel there's no clear cut method to find love ...which is why I say that statement, "you have to love yourself before others love you" isn't necessarily true..

Because loving yourself and having your act together won't guarantee love...but its still beneficial..because the people who love unconditionally like I listed above are rare..and imo..meant to be with those who are truly suffering... But yeah , I think the reason why loving yourself is so beneficial is because...

No one will do it for you, doing it doesn't guarantee a mate but it will improve yourself esteem and give you a better outlook on life,,,thats what loving yourself does..

Okay my mini novel is complete.... If you disagree that's okay, is just love a thorough discussion and examples provided like I did with my friend..below. Oh and don't forget the original question xD, I know I've been going on...but basically it was , was ( Did getting married make you happy? Happier than you were being single?)

My encouragment is to seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and by doing so, all your basic needs (like a soul mate) will be met or provided for (See Matthew 6:33). Just be patient. It took me many, many, many, many years of praying before I found my soul mate. So trust in the Lord and He will provide for you the one you are looking for who is your other half (Whereby they will strengthen you in the Lord) when the time is right.


...

 

[SeventyOne]

I know the obvious answer would be yeah..but I always feel..like if I had someone do share my life with that would make me happy...to not be alone again..

But sometimes I have my doubts..like would I be happy being joined to the hip with my mate....have I been alone to long to really be able to even connect with said person? Am I just better off alone?

Sometimes I'm not sure, but I think the positive benefits far outweigh the trials that's to be expected when you grow with a person...

So I just wanted to know..did being married make you a happier person prior to being married?
(( you can stop here if you like, ill just be rambling below ))
_______________________
Also I know someone will bring this up, but I don't believe you have to love yourself in order for someone else to love you...and here's why. I had a friend who literally hated himself, I heard him go on rants about himself and almost committed suicide...but he still found love and his gf helped him to love himself more then he already did... So I think that statement is false.

Now that's not to say people are obliged to take you and accept you at your worst..people who do are very rare and imo are the definition of unconditional love because the person didn't have to sort and unpack their baggage to get with them.....but I feel the whole notion of loving yourself should be done for you and you alone.
Not to attract a mate or even friends.,,because as I stated,real friends or a real mate wouldn't require you to be completely perfect.

But I also feel that no one person should be loaded with someone else's issues, so out of courtesy to your person of interest... I think it'd be easier all the way around to just work on yourself...but I still think true friends or even a lover don't require you to be perfect and would help you along....

Lastly, with all this said...even if you have all your T's crossed and i's dotted, that doesn't guarantee a mate. I've talked to girls who are sweet, have a degree,friends and their own place and still haven't found a boyfriend... Same for guys...

I personally feel that most times, when it comes to being married...I feel it has to be meant for you, the stars have to be aligned,fate,destiny ( whatever you want to call it)) because I've seen people who have nothing to offer ..not even a ged and a job get married to a quality mate...and p3ople who had it all together struggle to find love...

So sometimes I feel there's no clear cut method to find love ...which is why I say that statement, "you have to love yourself before others love you" isn't necessarily true..

Because loving yourself and having your act together won't guarantee love...but its still beneficial..because the people who love unconditionally like I listed above are rare..and imo..meant to be with those who are truly suffering... But yeah , I think the reason why loving yourself is so beneficial is because...

No one will do it for you, doing it doesn't guarantee a mate but it will improve yourself esteem and give you a better outlook on life,,,thats what loving yourself does..

Okay my mini novel is complete.... If you disagree that's okay, is just love a thorough discussion and examples provided like I did with my friend..below. Oh and don't forget the original question xD, I know I've been going on...but basically it was , was ( Did getting married make you happy? Happier than you were being single?)

Happiness comes and goes, as to other emotions. We've been together since 1994, and most of it has been great, and some of it... not so much.

I think the way I would describe it is my wife completes me to a point where we kind of blend together in goals, thoughts, aspirations, etc. Hard to describe.

I always love and need her, but there are times I don't actually like her and times she doesn't actually like me. That's where the work and dedication comes into relevance to be able to recognize you are always better together than apart.

If one isn't willing to dedicate the rest of their life, knowing parts will decline into extreme suckage, to that particular person, I'd advise against getting married.

 

[puregrl]

For me, marriage was not about finding happiness. I am a generally happy person, and would have been just fine being single. For me, marriage was about being with that one guy who I enjoyed being with. I dont know if i would say being married has made me happier as a person. It is a complicated question. I am at a different level of happiness that I could not have known before being married to the right man. It is like having kids. Does having kids make you a happier person? The answer is complicated. You could not imagine life without this person, but it was fine before them. As people have said, marriage is work, sometimes hard work, sometimes you may even regret it. But if you want to know if it is worth it? The answer is yes...if it is with the right person.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

No. Getting married did not make me happy. Happiness is a state of mind not something that can be made to happen by outside forces. I am happily married and have been for 36 years but my happiness was not caused by nor is it predicated upon my getting and staying married it is a result of a decision to be content. I would say that a good marriage is a symptom of insisting upon happiness rather than happiness is a symptom of being married. If you hope to become happy by virtue of becoming married you will almost surely become disappointed. the things that bring us joy and pleasure like a good marriage are to be valued but lasting happiness is more a function of attitude than of circumstance.

I like that you said happiness is a state of mind.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

My encouragment is to seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and by doing so, all your basic needs (like a soul mate) will be met or provided for (See Matthew 6:33). Just be patient. It took me many, many, many, many years of praying before I found my soul mate. So trust in the Lord and He will provide for you the one you are looking for who is your other half (Whereby they will strengthen you in the Lord) when the time is right.


...

Right. Sometimes I love being just by myself then there are times I just want to be alone... So if it happens, which I hope for..because being in love is good for your health,great..if not great.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

When I was single and heard married people talk about how good it was, I would wonder "Are they just saying this because they're jealous of singles and want everyone to be trapped like they are?".

I tend to be a skeptic.

My marriage has made me happier than my best hopes. I've seen so many unhappy couples that I became cynical. I was wrong.

It all comes down to depending on God to find the right person, and including God in your marriage to enable two imperfect people to maintain a great lifetime relationship.

We've been married 26 years; the only marriage for both of us.

That's how I feel , skeptical because my mom and dads relationship was garbage...and some others too...but I know real love exists...I would do whatever to make my partner happy. I don't think I'm meant to be alone..,at least not for the rest of my life.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Ask God to give you a soul mate and then leave it up to the LORD. He is wise in all He does. As for happiness: Yes, I have been married for 9 months now and it has been great. Marriage will increase the happiness you already have in Christ. For iron sharpens iron.


...

Some people in church told me there was someone out there for me. I know at my current state ...I'm not ready..so I know I need to get myself together...at the same time.. I want someone that isn't completely perfect..I have depression and anxiety and I just want someone who understands.

 

[puregrl]

Right. Sometimes I love being just by myself then there are times I just want to be alone... So if it happens, which I hope for..because being in love is good for your health,great..if not great.

I am the same way. There are many times when I just want to, and need to be alone. So I made sure to find a man who respects and understands that need.