Conversions to Orthodoxy
- Thread starter Matrona
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Iconographer and Eusebios: I cannot stand the suspense....Patience is not a virtue of mine!!!
Cant wait to read your stories...
Love,
Suzannah
Cant wait to read your stories...
Love,
Suzannah
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Michael G
Abe Frohmann
- Feb 22, 2004
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Ok, here we go. Part One of my conversion story, I hope I don't catch anyone snoring during this:
This story has been a long time coming. I guess I am writing this more for my own memory than for anyone elses reading. I hope those who do take the time to read this get some kind of good out of it. This is basically the story of how a person who intellectually knew the Catholic Church inside and out, tried real hard to live a good Catholic life, and spent one year in seminary would leave the seminary after only a year and eventually become an Orthodox Christian. If you told me 10 years ago that I would be writing this story, I would have told you that you were out of your mind, but here it goes
I have always had a very deep faith in God. I needed to in order to make it through childhood. I wont say I lived a rough life growing up, I just didnt get along with very many people and although I was spoiled and taken good care of materially I didnt really get along with my parents that well and didnt have all that many friends. In high school I did well in religion class, carrying As and Bs in it all the time, but I didnt want my religion teacher to like me at all. He was a charismatic Catholic and while I understood what he was teaching, I didnt see it as being cool to be catholic, even though I was in a Catholic school, so I gave this air of questioning things.
Prior to attending college at UT I was never into the liturgical rubrics of the Catholic Mass. This changed the first time I went to Mass at UTs Corpus Christi Catholic Community. The priest, Fr. Jim Basic, did not wear a chasuble, just the alb and a stole for Mass. This alone was enough to make me question whether or not I was actually at a Catholic Mass the first time I went to Mass in the student union. Maybe I was at an Episcopal or Lutheran service? Unfortunately, I was not. This was the first time I ever had to question whether or not I was at a Catholic Mass. It seemed Catholic, but it also seemed to be missing quiet a bit. Fr. Basic was a self described liberal who equated himself as being more in line with a liberal Lutheran Minister than with the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church. By the time I met Tim through CFL (next paragraph) and a few other friends of his, I had already begun to suspect some things were missing from the Mass. This was the first major step in the direction of Orthodoxy for me, because it made me start to question the things which were going on during the Mass, which forced me to learn a lot about the Mass in order to bring up objections to the staff at Corpus Christi Parish. The staff of the parish, needless to say, didnt much care for any objections me or any of my friends raised, and eventually some time during my sophomore year of college I was told If you dont like the way things are here, you are free to leave and go elsewhere.
In the winter of 1993 while I was a freshman at the University of Toledo (UT), some friends of mine and I formed a pro-life group called Collegians for Life. Collegians for Life (CFL) was a loosely knit group of college people who were pro-life, with just a handful of really pro-life people doing most of the work. CFL introduced me to a guy named Tim, who I would become quite good friends with for the next 4 years of college. It was Tim who started to get me thinking about my Catholic faith. Through these discussions of the Catholic faith Tim and I formed an offshoot of CFL called the St. Justin Martyr Catholic Apologetics Group, Justin Martyr for short. Justin Martyr met on Friday nights, usually once a month, at a local priests house where we would read Karl Keatings Catholic Answers tracts and would discuss the faith. Often our conversations would veer into the Modernism of the Catholic Church and who we thought were good priests and where to go for good masses and what translation of the bible had the least feminist language in it. Justin Martyr also served as a good forum for discussing the very liberal and un-rubrical things which would go on at Corpus Christi Parish on campus. Because of the Justin Martyr group meeting for two or three years, I developed a pretty solid foundation in my faith.
One Friday early in September 1993, Tim asked me if I wanted to go to Mass the next morning at the Monastery of the Visitation which was just down the street from UT. Mass was at 7 am, and I had gone with him to mass many times when a freshman, and afterwards we would often go out to eat with a very intelligent and lively older gentleman, Jim. I had to get up at 6 am to go to Mass and I stood outside the dorm waiting for Tim to pick me up, but he never showed up. I wasnt going to waste waking up at 6 am for nothing, so I walked the 2 or so miles to the monastery and made it to mass somewhere near the Agnus Dei. After mass I explained to Jim that I was late because I needed to walk to mass because Tim never showed up to give me a ride and asked Jim if he would mind dropping me off back at the dorm. Jim excitedly said to me You walked to mass! Sure, I will give you a ride back, but first, are you hungry? Jim and I had breakfast as we would do almost daily for the next 2 ½ years and discussed the faith, politics, philosophy and things I was learning in school. When he dropped me off at school Jim gave me his business card and told me to call him at 6:30 am any morning I wanted to go to mass. I asked Jim how often he went to mass, and he responded every day. The next day I called him at 6:30 am, and the day after that as well. This went on until the spring of my senior year of college and we formed quite a deep friendship and in the process I learned a lot about my faith in God. He bought me a set of missals and many books to read on my faith, we discussed the Catechism in great detail when it was released in the fall of 96 and we discussed the effects of modernism on the Catholic Church. I will never forget the day a few months before he died when Jim said to me What are we going to do when there is no longer any good masses to go to? It might not happen during my time, but I guarantee you will see that day during your time? This question deeply disturbed me because I already had a hard enough time finding a traditional mass in Toledo, aside from the small monastery where the cloistered nuns insisted their mass be prayed well and consistently.
While at the University of Toledo I changed majors from Pharmacy to European History, which in the end would prove very useful in my conversion to Orthodoxy. When I look back at it now, there should have somehow been a minor in Pro-life studies because most of my time not spent studying was involved somehow with CFL. I was not doing well in the Math and Chemistry and at the same time I was doing very well in History classes which I was taking for fun. Because I studied German history and had done so since 5th grade, I needed to take some Russian history classes as well because Russias history is very closely tied into that of Germany, and has been that way for the past 300+ years. The professor of Russian history was a man born in Moscow who had spent time in the prison camps in Siberia for his part in one of the anti-communist uprisings in Eastern Europe, Professor Jakobsen. In teaching Russian history Jakobsen taught a little about Orthodoxy because Orthodoxy is part of the very fabric of Russia. Jakobsen taught his classes about icons and iconography, about St. Andrei Rublev-the famous iconographer, about why Russian Churches have cupolas, about the Old Believer Schism and about Peter the Great and his wanting to westernize Russia and Orthodoxy among other things. This was my first real exposure to Orthodoxy. Prior to this I was never really sure if the Orthodox and the Greek Catholics were separate or one in the same. I knew there was some sort of schism between the two, but as most Catholics I viewed Orthodox as being schismatic Eastern Catholics and didnt know there was actually a good deal of difference between the two. I also got a taste of Orthodoxy the summer before my senior year of college while on exchange in Darmstadt, Germany. There is a small chapel in Darmstadt that the Czar of Russia built for his daughter who married the Grand Duke of Hessen Germany. At the same time I had a friend in CFL named George who had been trying to teach me a little about Orthodoxy. He was Antiochian Orthodox and wanted me to attend a Divine Liturgy with him, which I kept telling him I would one day. Eventually, that day came.
On the eve before Pascha 1996 George called and asked if Joanna, my ex-girlfriend, and I wanted to attend Pascha liturgy with him, which began at 11 pm. I called Joanna and she said she would pass, but I told George I would be interested in attending. It was at St. George Antiochian Orthodox Cathedral in Sylvania, Ohio. The liturgy lasted until 2am in the morning, and Bishop Dmitri was there. It was the most beautiful liturgy I had ever been to. It struck me how everyone sung the Paschal Troparion over and over again. Christ is Risen from the dead, Trampling down death by death, and to those in the tombs restoring life After liturgy Bishop Dmitri passed out red eggs and was exclaiming over and over again Christ is Risen! It struck me at the time that this bishop really did believe that Christ was risen and that he was filled with such joy over it being Pascha. This was the type of liturgy I had always longed for as a Roman Catholic. It was authentic and spiritual and not full of modernist nonsense. I didnt really know what was going on during most of the liturgy, being it was my first, but I came away with a good sense that I had found something good. Little did I know that 3 years later to the day I would be Chrismated an Orthodox Christian.
By the time I went to Paschal Liturgy with George, I had become a very, very conservative, Pope loving, traditionalist Catholic. I was impressed with the Legionaires of Christ, who seemed to be the Popes defenders. I had read every Catholic Answers tract there was, and most of the good Catholic books on defending the faith and on personal conversion stories. I had listened to hours upon hours of tapes by Peter Kreeft, Karl Keating and Scott Hahn, had been to two Defending the Faith conferences at the University of Stuebenville and had met all three of these men. I had listened to hours of Bishop Fulton Sheens tapes. I had even begun to read the Apostolic Fathers of the Church. Looking back now it seems this was where the first cracks began to form in my Catholic Faith. St. Ignatius of Antioch fascinated me. His description of the early Church was exactly what I had been looking for in the Catholic church and was not finding. The thing that most struck me as odd about St. Ignatius is his description of the episcopacy of the Church, Where the Bishop is there is the Catholic Church. This was a very different view of the Catholic Church that I knew, the view that the whole thing centered round the Pope. That summer I would pray a prayer to St. Peter, asking him to pray for me, that I might be guided me to the true faith. I was not prepared at all for the answer which God would give me. But first, I must talk about Jims death and seminary.
The rest of the spring of my senior year of college went very quickly from there on in. Jim died not long after of a massive heart attack. While I felt the pain of his death at the time, I didnt really feel the pain until that fall when I wrote a paper about his death for spirituality class in seminary. What was supposed to be a 10 page paper on how an event in our life was effected by all of the dimensions of spiritual development turned into a 32 page paper on how the death of my friend totally changed my life. The funeral mass for Jim was a down right disgrace. The priest did everything liturgically wrong that I could ever think of, and it literally drove me nuts. I wanted his last Mass to be a beautiful celebration of his faith in God, instead it was a deep wound which I would later have to work through. I continued to attend daily Mass after Jims death, and continued to have breakfast with my friends to discuss the faith, but I knew at that point my time in Toledo was over. Prior to Jims death I had applied to the Catholic Diocese of Wheeling-Charleston and began the formal process of being accepted into seminary. Jim was excited about my attending seminary and did a lot to encourage my preparations for this move. My dad did not want me to attend seminary, he thought I was only doing it to avoid some things in life, and rather wanted me to go on to study Theology in grad school and teach theology. He thought I would probably be much happier doing that, and in hindsight he was probably right. But, I did not listen to my wise dad, and instead I fought a hard long fight to get accepted into the Diocese. It was not easy to convince the Vocations Committee of the Diocese that my conservative and pro-life views would not in any way threaten those Catholics who do not hold those views, but some how God saw me through the whole process. God even directed me to St. Vincent Seminary in Latrobe, Pa even though I would have much rather attended Mt. St. Marys Seminary in Maryland or St. Charles Boromeo Seminary in Philadelphia, Pa. I had the choice of Mt. St. Marys or St. Vincents and I decided to let God make the decision for me. I told the Diocese that I wanted an application for Mt. St. Marys and the application the Diocese sent me was for St. Vincents so I decided to just attend St. Vincents. At the same time I had been so touched by the experience of the Paschal liturgy that I was beginning to think that I might want to be bi-ritual Roman and Byzantine. I even had my parents buy me a few small mounted icon prints for my seminary room. That August I found myself at St. Vincent Seminary, in Latrobe, Pa. I had no idea what I was about to experience.
This story has been a long time coming. I guess I am writing this more for my own memory than for anyone elses reading. I hope those who do take the time to read this get some kind of good out of it. This is basically the story of how a person who intellectually knew the Catholic Church inside and out, tried real hard to live a good Catholic life, and spent one year in seminary would leave the seminary after only a year and eventually become an Orthodox Christian. If you told me 10 years ago that I would be writing this story, I would have told you that you were out of your mind, but here it goes
I have always had a very deep faith in God. I needed to in order to make it through childhood. I wont say I lived a rough life growing up, I just didnt get along with very many people and although I was spoiled and taken good care of materially I didnt really get along with my parents that well and didnt have all that many friends. In high school I did well in religion class, carrying As and Bs in it all the time, but I didnt want my religion teacher to like me at all. He was a charismatic Catholic and while I understood what he was teaching, I didnt see it as being cool to be catholic, even though I was in a Catholic school, so I gave this air of questioning things.
Prior to attending college at UT I was never into the liturgical rubrics of the Catholic Mass. This changed the first time I went to Mass at UTs Corpus Christi Catholic Community. The priest, Fr. Jim Basic, did not wear a chasuble, just the alb and a stole for Mass. This alone was enough to make me question whether or not I was actually at a Catholic Mass the first time I went to Mass in the student union. Maybe I was at an Episcopal or Lutheran service? Unfortunately, I was not. This was the first time I ever had to question whether or not I was at a Catholic Mass. It seemed Catholic, but it also seemed to be missing quiet a bit. Fr. Basic was a self described liberal who equated himself as being more in line with a liberal Lutheran Minister than with the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church. By the time I met Tim through CFL (next paragraph) and a few other friends of his, I had already begun to suspect some things were missing from the Mass. This was the first major step in the direction of Orthodoxy for me, because it made me start to question the things which were going on during the Mass, which forced me to learn a lot about the Mass in order to bring up objections to the staff at Corpus Christi Parish. The staff of the parish, needless to say, didnt much care for any objections me or any of my friends raised, and eventually some time during my sophomore year of college I was told If you dont like the way things are here, you are free to leave and go elsewhere.
In the winter of 1993 while I was a freshman at the University of Toledo (UT), some friends of mine and I formed a pro-life group called Collegians for Life. Collegians for Life (CFL) was a loosely knit group of college people who were pro-life, with just a handful of really pro-life people doing most of the work. CFL introduced me to a guy named Tim, who I would become quite good friends with for the next 4 years of college. It was Tim who started to get me thinking about my Catholic faith. Through these discussions of the Catholic faith Tim and I formed an offshoot of CFL called the St. Justin Martyr Catholic Apologetics Group, Justin Martyr for short. Justin Martyr met on Friday nights, usually once a month, at a local priests house where we would read Karl Keatings Catholic Answers tracts and would discuss the faith. Often our conversations would veer into the Modernism of the Catholic Church and who we thought were good priests and where to go for good masses and what translation of the bible had the least feminist language in it. Justin Martyr also served as a good forum for discussing the very liberal and un-rubrical things which would go on at Corpus Christi Parish on campus. Because of the Justin Martyr group meeting for two or three years, I developed a pretty solid foundation in my faith.
One Friday early in September 1993, Tim asked me if I wanted to go to Mass the next morning at the Monastery of the Visitation which was just down the street from UT. Mass was at 7 am, and I had gone with him to mass many times when a freshman, and afterwards we would often go out to eat with a very intelligent and lively older gentleman, Jim. I had to get up at 6 am to go to Mass and I stood outside the dorm waiting for Tim to pick me up, but he never showed up. I wasnt going to waste waking up at 6 am for nothing, so I walked the 2 or so miles to the monastery and made it to mass somewhere near the Agnus Dei. After mass I explained to Jim that I was late because I needed to walk to mass because Tim never showed up to give me a ride and asked Jim if he would mind dropping me off back at the dorm. Jim excitedly said to me You walked to mass! Sure, I will give you a ride back, but first, are you hungry? Jim and I had breakfast as we would do almost daily for the next 2 ½ years and discussed the faith, politics, philosophy and things I was learning in school. When he dropped me off at school Jim gave me his business card and told me to call him at 6:30 am any morning I wanted to go to mass. I asked Jim how often he went to mass, and he responded every day. The next day I called him at 6:30 am, and the day after that as well. This went on until the spring of my senior year of college and we formed quite a deep friendship and in the process I learned a lot about my faith in God. He bought me a set of missals and many books to read on my faith, we discussed the Catechism in great detail when it was released in the fall of 96 and we discussed the effects of modernism on the Catholic Church. I will never forget the day a few months before he died when Jim said to me What are we going to do when there is no longer any good masses to go to? It might not happen during my time, but I guarantee you will see that day during your time? This question deeply disturbed me because I already had a hard enough time finding a traditional mass in Toledo, aside from the small monastery where the cloistered nuns insisted their mass be prayed well and consistently.
While at the University of Toledo I changed majors from Pharmacy to European History, which in the end would prove very useful in my conversion to Orthodoxy. When I look back at it now, there should have somehow been a minor in Pro-life studies because most of my time not spent studying was involved somehow with CFL. I was not doing well in the Math and Chemistry and at the same time I was doing very well in History classes which I was taking for fun. Because I studied German history and had done so since 5th grade, I needed to take some Russian history classes as well because Russias history is very closely tied into that of Germany, and has been that way for the past 300+ years. The professor of Russian history was a man born in Moscow who had spent time in the prison camps in Siberia for his part in one of the anti-communist uprisings in Eastern Europe, Professor Jakobsen. In teaching Russian history Jakobsen taught a little about Orthodoxy because Orthodoxy is part of the very fabric of Russia. Jakobsen taught his classes about icons and iconography, about St. Andrei Rublev-the famous iconographer, about why Russian Churches have cupolas, about the Old Believer Schism and about Peter the Great and his wanting to westernize Russia and Orthodoxy among other things. This was my first real exposure to Orthodoxy. Prior to this I was never really sure if the Orthodox and the Greek Catholics were separate or one in the same. I knew there was some sort of schism between the two, but as most Catholics I viewed Orthodox as being schismatic Eastern Catholics and didnt know there was actually a good deal of difference between the two. I also got a taste of Orthodoxy the summer before my senior year of college while on exchange in Darmstadt, Germany. There is a small chapel in Darmstadt that the Czar of Russia built for his daughter who married the Grand Duke of Hessen Germany. At the same time I had a friend in CFL named George who had been trying to teach me a little about Orthodoxy. He was Antiochian Orthodox and wanted me to attend a Divine Liturgy with him, which I kept telling him I would one day. Eventually, that day came.
On the eve before Pascha 1996 George called and asked if Joanna, my ex-girlfriend, and I wanted to attend Pascha liturgy with him, which began at 11 pm. I called Joanna and she said she would pass, but I told George I would be interested in attending. It was at St. George Antiochian Orthodox Cathedral in Sylvania, Ohio. The liturgy lasted until 2am in the morning, and Bishop Dmitri was there. It was the most beautiful liturgy I had ever been to. It struck me how everyone sung the Paschal Troparion over and over again. Christ is Risen from the dead, Trampling down death by death, and to those in the tombs restoring life After liturgy Bishop Dmitri passed out red eggs and was exclaiming over and over again Christ is Risen! It struck me at the time that this bishop really did believe that Christ was risen and that he was filled with such joy over it being Pascha. This was the type of liturgy I had always longed for as a Roman Catholic. It was authentic and spiritual and not full of modernist nonsense. I didnt really know what was going on during most of the liturgy, being it was my first, but I came away with a good sense that I had found something good. Little did I know that 3 years later to the day I would be Chrismated an Orthodox Christian.
By the time I went to Paschal Liturgy with George, I had become a very, very conservative, Pope loving, traditionalist Catholic. I was impressed with the Legionaires of Christ, who seemed to be the Popes defenders. I had read every Catholic Answers tract there was, and most of the good Catholic books on defending the faith and on personal conversion stories. I had listened to hours upon hours of tapes by Peter Kreeft, Karl Keating and Scott Hahn, had been to two Defending the Faith conferences at the University of Stuebenville and had met all three of these men. I had listened to hours of Bishop Fulton Sheens tapes. I had even begun to read the Apostolic Fathers of the Church. Looking back now it seems this was where the first cracks began to form in my Catholic Faith. St. Ignatius of Antioch fascinated me. His description of the early Church was exactly what I had been looking for in the Catholic church and was not finding. The thing that most struck me as odd about St. Ignatius is his description of the episcopacy of the Church, Where the Bishop is there is the Catholic Church. This was a very different view of the Catholic Church that I knew, the view that the whole thing centered round the Pope. That summer I would pray a prayer to St. Peter, asking him to pray for me, that I might be guided me to the true faith. I was not prepared at all for the answer which God would give me. But first, I must talk about Jims death and seminary.
The rest of the spring of my senior year of college went very quickly from there on in. Jim died not long after of a massive heart attack. While I felt the pain of his death at the time, I didnt really feel the pain until that fall when I wrote a paper about his death for spirituality class in seminary. What was supposed to be a 10 page paper on how an event in our life was effected by all of the dimensions of spiritual development turned into a 32 page paper on how the death of my friend totally changed my life. The funeral mass for Jim was a down right disgrace. The priest did everything liturgically wrong that I could ever think of, and it literally drove me nuts. I wanted his last Mass to be a beautiful celebration of his faith in God, instead it was a deep wound which I would later have to work through. I continued to attend daily Mass after Jims death, and continued to have breakfast with my friends to discuss the faith, but I knew at that point my time in Toledo was over. Prior to Jims death I had applied to the Catholic Diocese of Wheeling-Charleston and began the formal process of being accepted into seminary. Jim was excited about my attending seminary and did a lot to encourage my preparations for this move. My dad did not want me to attend seminary, he thought I was only doing it to avoid some things in life, and rather wanted me to go on to study Theology in grad school and teach theology. He thought I would probably be much happier doing that, and in hindsight he was probably right. But, I did not listen to my wise dad, and instead I fought a hard long fight to get accepted into the Diocese. It was not easy to convince the Vocations Committee of the Diocese that my conservative and pro-life views would not in any way threaten those Catholics who do not hold those views, but some how God saw me through the whole process. God even directed me to St. Vincent Seminary in Latrobe, Pa even though I would have much rather attended Mt. St. Marys Seminary in Maryland or St. Charles Boromeo Seminary in Philadelphia, Pa. I had the choice of Mt. St. Marys or St. Vincents and I decided to let God make the decision for me. I told the Diocese that I wanted an application for Mt. St. Marys and the application the Diocese sent me was for St. Vincents so I decided to just attend St. Vincents. At the same time I had been so touched by the experience of the Paschal liturgy that I was beginning to think that I might want to be bi-ritual Roman and Byzantine. I even had my parents buy me a few small mounted icon prints for my seminary room. That August I found myself at St. Vincent Seminary, in Latrobe, Pa. I had no idea what I was about to experience.
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"To be continued..."
I can't stand it!!! Wonderful story Michael!!! Can't wait for the next installment!
I can't stand it!!! Wonderful story Michael!!! Can't wait for the next installment!
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MariaRegina
Well-Known Member
Iconographer said:
Very good introduction. Proper editing takes time. Better to be safe than sorry, so please don't rush it. You did leave us with a cliff hanger!
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OrthodoxDragon
Soon-to-be-Catechumen
Here I go:
Most of my mothers family was Russian Orthodox but my mother was Catholic. She married an athiest and when I was about 6 years old he sent me to a Pentecoastal Church. I left that when I was 8 because I KNEW that was not what I was to be. I didn't go to church for several years and then started going to Catholic Mass, and started to become a devout catholic. But after awhile, something was ary with that as well, so I just stopped going to church all together. I have always held an interest for Orthodoxy. I just never persued it. After a while of just kinda being "there" so to speak religion wise the worse thing that has ever happend to be happend. My son was murdered. And for a long while I was very angry with God. And then a year later my mother died. This sent me into a turmoil that I could not bear so I turned to God, and now most recently turned to Orthodox. It took me awhile to find a church and now I'm on the look again for a church that is good for me, but now that I'm on the path of the Ancient Way I don't know why I didn't go on it sooner...
Most of my mothers family was Russian Orthodox but my mother was Catholic. She married an athiest and when I was about 6 years old he sent me to a Pentecoastal Church. I left that when I was 8 because I KNEW that was not what I was to be. I didn't go to church for several years and then started going to Catholic Mass, and started to become a devout catholic. But after awhile, something was ary with that as well, so I just stopped going to church all together. I have always held an interest for Orthodoxy. I just never persued it. After a while of just kinda being "there" so to speak religion wise the worse thing that has ever happend to be happend. My son was murdered. And for a long while I was very angry with God. And then a year later my mother died. This sent me into a turmoil that I could not bear so I turned to God, and now most recently turned to Orthodox. It took me awhile to find a church and now I'm on the look again for a church that is good for me, but now that I'm on the path of the Ancient Way I don't know why I didn't go on it sooner...
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R
Rilian
Guest
My prayers that you find peace OrthodoxDragon, it really grieves me to hear what you've gone through.
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twosid
Well-Known Member
I wish you would finish your story. You write really well and I want to know the rest....please....Matrona said:I'm sorry.
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Wonderful stories everyone:
I'll tell you the basic reason as to why I converted...
After getting a basic overview of the religion, I liked it, and I took Andreas' word for it. I also took into consideration that Christ allowed people to convert as soon as they saw Him, and the people learned more afterwards...
I trusted this, and I still have a lot to learn. I'm getting over the atheist thing, because there are too many faults and blank spaces in atheism...
I'll tell you the basic reason as to why I converted...
After getting a basic overview of the religion, I liked it, and I took Andreas' word for it. I also took into consideration that Christ allowed people to convert as soon as they saw Him, and the people learned more afterwards...
I trusted this, and I still have a lot to learn. I'm getting over the atheist thing, because there are too many faults and blank spaces in atheism...
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I am so, SOOOOO sorry I've been so slack with my story... arrrgh! 
I started this story on Clean Monday and it's now almost Pentecost! But I thought this would be a good distraction from things that have been happening to me in real life that have sort of brought me down. When I get depressed, I like to look back on happier times, or tell jokes, or do something crazy like paint each of my finger and toe nails a different color. Well, I don't have any jokes, and I'm out of nail polish, so happier times it is.
Wait... I got one joke...
Q: Where do gardeners send their mail?
A: At the compost office!
Hahahaha. Yeah, I know... gimme a break...
This part details my first visit to the church which later became my regular parish and is where I was baptized. The priest there is the father of the Nice Boy who I met at OCF. Nice Boy is one of my really good friends and being the one who introduced me to Orthodoxy, he's the reason that the positive events in this story happened. Thank you, God, for making that guy.
Anyway, two weeks after my visit to the other parish, Phil (Nice Boy) offered to take me with him to see his dad's church. I accepted, even though this church's services started earlier and I would have to go to matins in addition to liturgy.
So at 8:00 AM that Sunday morning, he came rattling up in his car (sorry, Phil) and we rode to the church. Now, this church is tiny. When I mean tiny, I mean, really, REALLY tiny. But the funny thing is, this didn't really register consciously in my mind or bother me--which is strange, because, unfortunately, I tend to be a very follow-the-crowd type of person, and normally being in such a small group of people would have bothered the heck out of me. This is one of the times in my life where I truly believe I was being guided and influenced by the Holy Spirit Himself.
I stood next to Phil's mom for the service. She helped me know when to stand up and sit down, and didn't even admonish me for checking my watch every five minutes. (Hey, it was 8 in the morning, and my fervent wish for sleep was battling quite fiercely with my spiritual hunger...) At the other church, I'd been towards the back so I had mostly ignored the icons, but here, since there was no one in the way, the icons were impossible to ignore.
But one icon in particular captured my attention--the Theotokos on the iconostasis. Her face looked strikingly REAL... and she seemed to be staring through me. Also, maybe it was the lack of sleep, but she almost looked like she was pulling her Son away from me. (This is part of the reason I became fascinated with St. Katherine later on, although her experience was a little different.)
Right then, I had a bizarre feeling I would have never expected... that I was in my present state unworthy to even stand before the icon of Christ Pantokrator, and that I was fortunate that I had happened to stand on the Theotokos's side... And it was at that time I felt like I was going to have to keep coming to Orthodox liturgy, you know, I wasn't going to just drop this like most of the other stuff I get interested in and fall away from.
Since that experience, I feel like my spiritual growth has been like a plant. When it seemed that the Theotokos was telling me to stay at that parish, that was when I was planted, a seed, in the garden, and She covered me with soil. Ever since, I began germinating underground. My first root came later that day, when Phil introduced me to the congregation (however small it may be!), and the warm smiles and introductions.
Another was, a few weeks later, on my third visit to the parish. I really felt like I 'got' the liturgy that day, and when Father introduced me again after the liturgy, it was another root holding me down. Realizing from here on that joining the Orthodox Church HAD TO HAPPEN at some point for me, I started reaching for the sky. Icons and intercession of the saints were no problems for me. I didn't start kissing anything or anyone until after I was a catechumen--but I wanted to, starting after that third liturgy. I just hadn't plucked up the courage.
But my favorite thing about my period as an inquirer was one wonderful day when I woke up, shrieking, out of the blue, in my room, and scared the hell out of my roommate. I realized I had finally broken the ground's surface and emerged as a little sapling. That was the day I realized that God and Jesus were no longer abstract figures for me, but that through attending the Orthodox services, I had finally acquired a love for God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, three persons of one essence. By learning to understand Him through the Orthodox Church, learning the real meaning of the Holy Trinity, the Incarnation, the Crucifixion, and the Resurrection, all for the very first time in my life, I had finally managed to become a real, honest, genuine believer! For the first time, I realized what it means to genuinely love God! And the best part was, I was DOING IT!
And when you are a teenage girl who has fallen in love with the most perfect guy in existence, who wouldn't shriek for joy?
I started this story on Clean Monday and it's now almost Pentecost! But I thought this would be a good distraction from things that have been happening to me in real life that have sort of brought me down. When I get depressed, I like to look back on happier times, or tell jokes, or do something crazy like paint each of my finger and toe nails a different color. Well, I don't have any jokes, and I'm out of nail polish, so happier times it is.Wait... I got one joke...
Q: Where do gardeners send their mail?
A: At the compost office!
Hahahaha. Yeah, I know... gimme a break...
This part details my first visit to the church which later became my regular parish and is where I was baptized. The priest there is the father of the Nice Boy who I met at OCF. Nice Boy is one of my really good friends and being the one who introduced me to Orthodoxy, he's the reason that the positive events in this story happened. Thank you, God, for making that guy.
Anyway, two weeks after my visit to the other parish, Phil (Nice Boy) offered to take me with him to see his dad's church. I accepted, even though this church's services started earlier and I would have to go to matins in addition to liturgy.
So at 8:00 AM that Sunday morning, he came rattling up in his car (sorry, Phil) and we rode to the church. Now, this church is tiny. When I mean tiny, I mean, really, REALLY tiny. But the funny thing is, this didn't really register consciously in my mind or bother me--which is strange, because, unfortunately, I tend to be a very follow-the-crowd type of person, and normally being in such a small group of people would have bothered the heck out of me. This is one of the times in my life where I truly believe I was being guided and influenced by the Holy Spirit Himself.
I stood next to Phil's mom for the service. She helped me know when to stand up and sit down, and didn't even admonish me for checking my watch every five minutes. (Hey, it was 8 in the morning, and my fervent wish for sleep was battling quite fiercely with my spiritual hunger...) At the other church, I'd been towards the back so I had mostly ignored the icons, but here, since there was no one in the way, the icons were impossible to ignore.
But one icon in particular captured my attention--the Theotokos on the iconostasis. Her face looked strikingly REAL... and she seemed to be staring through me. Also, maybe it was the lack of sleep, but she almost looked like she was pulling her Son away from me. (This is part of the reason I became fascinated with St. Katherine later on, although her experience was a little different.)
Right then, I had a bizarre feeling I would have never expected... that I was in my present state unworthy to even stand before the icon of Christ Pantokrator, and that I was fortunate that I had happened to stand on the Theotokos's side...
And it was at that time I felt like I was going to have to keep coming to Orthodox liturgy, you know, I wasn't going to just drop this like most of the other stuff I get interested in and fall away from.Since that experience, I feel like my spiritual growth has been like a plant. When it seemed that the Theotokos was telling me to stay at that parish, that was when I was planted, a seed, in the garden, and She covered me with soil. Ever since, I began germinating underground. My first root came later that day, when Phil introduced me to the congregation (however small it may be!), and the warm smiles and introductions.
Another was, a few weeks later, on my third visit to the parish. I really felt like I 'got' the liturgy that day, and when Father introduced me again after the liturgy, it was another root holding me down. Realizing from here on that joining the Orthodox Church HAD TO HAPPEN at some point for me, I started reaching for the sky. Icons and intercession of the saints were no problems for me. I didn't start kissing anything or anyone until after I was a catechumen--but I wanted to, starting after that third liturgy. I just hadn't plucked up the courage.
But my favorite thing about my period as an inquirer was one wonderful day when I woke up, shrieking, out of the blue, in my room, and scared the hell out of my roommate. I realized I had finally broken the ground's surface and emerged as a little sapling. That was the day I realized that God and Jesus were no longer abstract figures for me, but that through attending the Orthodox services, I had finally acquired a love for God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, three persons of one essence. By learning to understand Him through the Orthodox Church, learning the real meaning of the Holy Trinity, the Incarnation, the Crucifixion, and the Resurrection, all for the very first time in my life, I had finally managed to become a real, honest, genuine believer! For the first time, I realized what it means to genuinely love God! And the best part was, I was DOING IT!
And when you are a teenage girl who has fallen in love with the most perfect guy in existence, who wouldn't shriek for joy?
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that was worth waiting for!
M
Matthias
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How did I get to be here? My story is a little weird. I first discovered the Orthodox Church through a computer game! It was called SWAT 3: Elite Edition, and one of the missions involved saving several priests and clergy from terrorists who had taken over a gigantic and beautiful Russian Orthodox cathedral.
Let me tell you; after making my way "inside" the cathedral, I saw nothing but beauty; the icons, images; everything about it. (If anyone would like some screenshots posted; let me know!). I thought to myself: "This is just a computer game, surely the a real Orthodox cathedral isn't this beautiful!". I was wrong...
I went to Google, looked up Orthodoxy and their beliefs, and the rest as they say, is history. All I can say is; had I not bought that PC game, I don't think I would be where I am right now. Even if my English teacher did refer to Orthodox as "a strange bunch of people" in one of my classes. Pfffft to her...
Let me tell you; after making my way "inside" the cathedral, I saw nothing but beauty; the icons, images; everything about it. (If anyone would like some screenshots posted; let me know!). I thought to myself: "This is just a computer game, surely the a real Orthodox cathedral isn't this beautiful!". I was wrong...
I went to Google, looked up Orthodoxy and their beliefs, and the rest as they say, is history. All I can say is; had I not bought that PC game, I don't think I would be where I am right now. Even if my English teacher did refer to Orthodox as "a strange bunch of people" in one of my classes. Pfffft to her...
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Grand_Duchess-Elizaveta
Pie-baking apron-clad hausfrau :D
Hi, all! This is my very first post here, and I thought I'd start off by sharing a little bit about my present journey into Orthodoxy. Notice I say "present" because I'm not yet a catechumen (but I reeaalllly want to be!). I first heard about the Orthodox Church about 2 1/2 yrs. ago. I was a member of a Christian message board, and one day a friend I'd met there told me she'd become interested in Orthodoxy. My interest was peeked, and she invited me to join an Orthodox message board that was specifically set up for inquirers. Well, I was totally fascinated! I had definitely become disatisfied with various Protestant denominations and was pretty much convinced there were no "true" churches left. Well, I visited an Orthodox parish in the area I was living in at the time and was very impressed. Unfortunately, shortly after that my life became fairly chaotic (long story) and I had to relocate out of that area (back home with my parents, actually...a HUGE test of faith). My life was in disarray for a while, and my parents don't live near any Orthodox Churches, so I ended up putting Orthodoxy on a shelf.
Fast forward to late december 2003. Even though I liked Orthodoxy, I was determined there just had to be an "easier" way (protestantism had caused me to become spiritually lazy). I visited a local church and was so disgusted by what I saw there that I *knew* I had to get myself back to an Orthodox Church. Well, I found one to go to, allbeit an hour or so drive away. I've been attending for a few months now and truly feel I've found the True Church! I'm reading various Orthodox literature/writings of the Holy Fathers and such, following a daily prayer rule, and *trying* to participate in the Chruch fasts. I'm very excited about my journey, and would greatly appreciate your prayers! May God bless you all for sharing your faith!
Fast forward to late december 2003. Even though I liked Orthodoxy, I was determined there just had to be an "easier" way (protestantism had caused me to become spiritually lazy). I visited a local church and was so disgusted by what I saw there that I *knew* I had to get myself back to an Orthodox Church. Well, I found one to go to, allbeit an hour or so drive away. I've been attending for a few months now and truly feel I've found the True Church! I'm reading various Orthodox literature/writings of the Holy Fathers and such, following a daily prayer rule, and *trying* to participate in the Chruch fasts. I'm very excited about my journey, and would greatly appreciate your prayers! May God bless you all for sharing your faith!
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Rick of Wessex
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Hello, Elisaveta! Welcome 
Sometimes the Holy Spirit acts in very unusual ways when it is time to bring people back home.
But please do post the screenshots if you can, Matthias. I'm really curious about this virtual cathedral. Do you know whether this cathedral is a digital rendering of a real-life church or entirely computer-built?
In XC,
Rick
Matthias said:
Sometimes the Holy Spirit acts in very unusual ways when it is time to bring people back home.
But please do post the screenshots if you can, Matthias. I'm really curious about this virtual cathedral. Do you know whether this cathedral is a digital rendering of a real-life church or entirely computer-built?
In XC,
Rick
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