Babywise method

[Tini]

Do any of you parents have any experience with a method of Childrearing called "On becoming Babywise"?

We have been using it with our second son and it works well.

It written by the same guy who wrote the "Raising kids God's way"

 

[Susan]

I'm not a parent, but isn't that Gary Ezzo's thing?

http://www.gospelcom.net/apologeticsindex/g02.html

Be very careful. . .

 

[Tini]

Susan

Why the need for care? I'm new to this forum - would I find a link?

Thanks

 

[LilyLamb]

Tini - Susan put a link in her post ... at the bottom of that page is another link directly addressing Babywise http://dir.salon.com/mwt/feature/1998/08/cov_06feature.html

I am not familiar with this book - but after reading the article I would have some concerns about the issues they address and not promote this book to my friends/family.

 

[EJO]

I have 4, see the other thread you started, and we have used the babywise method in some form or another on all three. There has been caution issue in the method, because there can be a tendancy to be too strict with the method. Christian Research Institute (www.equip.org) did a huge thing on them a couple years ago, and said they are good and legit, but they can have an exclusivity to them, where you can become "snobby" in your parenting skills, and judgemental against other parents and thier kids.
Which is what we have run into ourselves- my wife and I. But now with 4, we are just annoyed with parents you have undiciplined obnoxious kids.

Of course, it depends on what day you see ours.

 

[VOW]

To EJO:

we are just annoyed with parents you have undiciplined obnoxious kids.

AMEN to that!

What really cinches the deal, is when your KIDS complain about the undisciplined, obnoxious behavior of OTHER kids in public!

When my kids were little and we'd go out to eat, they were expected to sit quietly, engage in pleasant conversation, and STAY AT THE TABLE.

If the kid wanted to fidgit, cry, whine, bang on the furniture, refuse to eat, slip off the chair and crawl around on the floor, then Mommy or Daddy would remove the offending child immediately. We would then finish our meal as quickly as possible, pay the bill, and LEAVE.

It's really incredible when your four-year-old observes his contemporaries exhibiting forbidden behavior in a restaurant, and turns to you and says, "Those kids need to learn how to BEHAVE."


Peace,
~VOW

 

[VOW]

I just read the reviews in LilyLamb's link about "Babywise."

I breastfed both of my kids, and I know quite a few women who have also breastfed. This "Babywise" teaching on breastfeeding is backwards, and I'm quite disturbed by that.

If you are a new mother planning to breastfeed, I'd direct you to LaLeche League. Those folks have been around much longer than "Babywise" and they can give you all the advice and support you need.


Peace,
~VOW

 

[VOW]

From the Salon review of "Babywise" (see link in LilyLamb's post):

After babies reach only 6 months of age, parents are instructed to begin punitive disciplinary measures such as "squeezing or swatting" of the child's hands or "isolation" in the crib for "rebellious" infractions including "foolishness,"

This frightens me!



Peace,
~VOW

 

[LilyLamb]

I agree, VOW - the breastfeeding thing disturbs me, too - as well as the discipline at such a young age.

 

[lucypevensie]

I have read the 2 baby wise books and the child wise book. It seems a bit "strict" especially in today's permissive society. I just adjusted the things that seemed too extreme. I didn't really use any kind of isolation techniques or anything--that just seemed dumb. The books teach about sign language which I also did not utilise because I just felt lazy, but the concept is good. It teaches you how to teach your baby (in the high chair) early table manners, such as keeping hands out of hair, not dropping food on purpose, which I saw no harm in. I did find the breastfeeding instruction very helpful for myself and my infant son. Whereas many people are disturbed at the notion of scheduling a newborn's feedings I found that scheduling was the best thing I could do for him. The books state that so many mothers automatically put the baby to the breast the second he shows any sign of distress. (I did that). When in actuality there are countless other things the baby might need but of course does not know how to verbalise. If you just gave your baby a full 30 minute feeding and he's still crying chances are, he's not hungry but wants something else. It's mom and dad's job to figure out what it is. This concept seems so simple and duhhh. But I was one of those moms who believed that breast was the only way to comfort a fussy baby, and it took the Childwise book for me to figure out that was not the right thing to do. Plus it drastically reduced his spitting up.

 

[Tini]

As I said earlier. We never used Babywise at all with our first son. We applied the Le Leche principles of demand feeding.

This put incredible strain on both my wife and the family unit as a whole. Alex insisted on feeding every two hours for a full five months. My wife got NO extended sleep during this entire period. Add to this being first time parents and the strains on us as a couple, having family and friends always asking how its going and giving unwanted and conflicting advice, not having a network of friends (new town) and me travelling for work - it was difficult to say the least.

We were introduced to babywise a year or so later. We have applied the babywise technique closely (but not legalistically) on our second son who is now 4 months old.

It has worked very well. We have seldom left him to cry - if we do we keep checking on him (more often than babywise suggests) to ensure he is comfortable and give him a cuddle and love. He soon settles and sleeps. It is great having him in a routine and I certainly dont feel that we have moulded him into something that he is not.

We also had a prophecy about our second child being a more calm child than the first - so perhaps it is God and not the technique? But the routine has been a blessing for us. As far as discipline goes, we have not had to apply any yet - he is still very young.

 

[Tini]

Thanks to Susan and LilyLamb for your links.

I found them worth reading. I would like to reaffirm and agree that one should not use any man made system legalustically (and this applys to more than just parenting - but throughout life).

It is a case of taking whatever advice, systems etc. and then on a personal (or as a couple) bring them before God in prayer and use His bible as the guiding principle with which to apply any advice and action.

The Bible and your relationship with jesus still has to be guiding the rudder.

Routine has been very important to us in the Babywise method, and it has certainly helped. Lloyd has been picking up weight well and is a helthy baby as far as the clinic and peadiatrician are concerned.

So I'm still happy with the Babywise method and our application - but it is certainly worth knowing that there are concerns that need to be applied and watched for.

Thanks guys