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“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV)
Right before this discourse on husbands and wives, Paul addressed the church, as a whole, on the subject of our walks of faith in Christ, and what those walks are supposed to look like. And he explained that sexual immorality and all impurity, etc., must not be a part of the life of a Christian, for he explained that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. These are to have no part in the Christian marriage, either. And then these remarks were concluded with this phrase: “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
But this submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ, within the body of Christ, and the instructions for wives to submit to their husbands, are to be under God’s arrangement, as though we are submitting to the Lord and to his plan and purpose for our lives. So this will never require that we compromise God’s morals and biblical values and commands. We must never submit to what is immoral and impure and that is sinful in order to be in submission to anyone. We must never disobey God in order to submit to anyone. We must obey our Lord and submit to him above all else!
And this word submit is not blind obedience to other humans. It carries with it the idea of willfully yielding to another, to defer to another. So the husband is not to be the slave master and the wife is not to be the slave in the sense of having no choice, especially since the instructions to the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. So this is not giving the husband carte blanche to treat his wife in any which way that he feels like. For the husband is to be doing for his wife what is for her good, and the wife is to be doing for her husband what is for his good.
But someone has to be the head, and God chose the husband to be the head. For you can’t have two heads. But the head is not to rule with an iron fist, either. Take for example what Peter said to the elders of the church. He said, “Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.” [1 Peter 5:2-4 ESV]
And I believe that is how husbands should be with their wives, too, caring for them as a shepherd over sheep, loving them, nurturing them, giving themselves up for them, and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ in the same way that Christians are to do with one another. For respect should go both ways, which I believe this passage makes clear. For men who do not respect their wives, but who see them only as someone to lust after and/or to use and abuse, cannot love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her.
For when God created woman it was for her to be a partner and a helpmate to her husband, not to be dirt under his feet for him to stomp on. For a marriage is to be a union of two people into one person, and that takes compromise and respect and honor and consideration of one another on both sides. And sometimes the husband needs his wife’s wisdom and godly counsel and insights, and he needs to listen to her, and to respect and honor her as a child of God, just as the wife is to do with her Christian husband who is following the Lord Jesus with his life.
And then it says here that husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. And he who is loving (agape love) his wife is loving (agape love) himself. And this agape love comes from God, not from the human flesh, so it is not sexual or sensual in nature, for it is based in moral preference. For to love like this is to prefer to live through Christ, embracing God’s will, choosing his choices, and obeying them through his power. And it is to prefer all that is holy, righteous, godly, morally pure, upright, honest, faithful, and obedient to God. That is how we are all to love God and one another.
Therefore, a man is to leave his father and mother and he is to hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh, not just sexually, but in every aspect. And to “hold fast” to his wife is to be glued to her, to cleave to her (stick to, cling to, stand by her). And he is to promise to love and cherish her, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep himself only unto her, for as long as they both shall live. And the wife is to promise the same to her husband. And both are to put this into daily practice in their married lives.
[Genesis 2:24; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Peter 3:1-7; 2 Peter 2:13-19; 1 Corinthians 5:1-2; 1 Corinthians 6:9-20; Ephesians 5:1-33; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8; Titus 2:3-5; Matthew 5:28; Matthew 15:19-20; Matthew 19:9; Mark 7:20-22; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:13-21]
In Faithfulness He Leads Me
An Original Work / March 20, 2013
Based off Various Scriptures
(Psalms 26:3; Psalms 86:11; Psalms 91:4-5; Psalms 111:7-8; Psalms 119:73-76; Isaiah 25:1-9; Isaiah 42:6-7; Hosea 2:16-20)
Teach me Your ways, Lord, and I’ll walk in them.
Give me a pure heart. I’ll fear Your name.
Your love is always, ever before me.
Continually I’ll walk in Your truth.
You will cover me with feathers.
Under Your wings I’ll find refuge.
My Lord’s faithfulness will be my
Comfort and my shield.
The works of His hands are faithful and just.
Trustworthy are all of His precepts.
Your hands have made me, and they have formed me.
Give understanding of Your commands.
I have put my hope, O Lord, in Your word.
Your teachings, O Lord, are righteousness.
Lord, in faithfulness You have
Afflicted me so I may learn of
Your unfailing love and comfort
And Your truthfulness.
You are my husband; You have betrothed me
In love, compassion and faithfulness.
O Lord, You are my God, I’ll exalt You.
In faithfulness You’ve done wondrous things.
You’ve been a refuge for those who’re needy;
A shelter in storms; shade from the heat.
This is the Lord, we trusted in Him,
Let us be glad and rejoice
In His salvation which He
Provided through the Lamb.
Open the blind eyes; free all the captives.
Tell them of Jesus: “Be born again!”
