I see the Roman Catholic Church as a body in need of reconciliation in some respects. I don't mean reconciliation with God per say, but rather reconciliation within itself, and with it's own past. In some senses a framework needs to be agreed upon that says "This is who we are and who we've been, and who we are trying to become".
Pope Benedict XVI is in some ways trying to accomplish that with his framework of continuity and such, and is making laudable strides to that end. At the same time, though, what we are initially seeing of his strategy does seem to leave out a fairly sizable group of people.
It is kind of strange in some senses to have an American church body where 98% of sexually active married folks use some form birth control even while the RCC as a whole calls it "intrinsically evil". When we think of what a 98% figure means, we're not even just talking about liberals or moderates -- we're talking about a majority of conservative traditionalists, too.
Honestly, I consider Pope Paul VI to have backed the church into a corner on the birth control issue specifically. I think I understand where he's coming from theologically, but I really believe it imposes a tremendous hardship on people that tears many away from their faith and creates unhealthy marriages.
Let's say you're a member of a one-income household, one spouse can't work due to disability or stays home with the kids or whatever. Unless the working spouse is a doctor or a lawyer, ten children is just not in the cards financially. You've probably got a small ramshackle apartment, are eating a lot of ramen noodles, and are otherwise barely eeking by with just the two or three of you.
So what do the traditionalists come back and say about such scenarios? "Don't marry", or "Don't ever have sex with your spouse". What in the world? I have disabilities, so apparently I can never marry if I want to be a faithful Catholic. Or, oh, I can marry, but I'd never not have sex with my wife. But, wait, at least I could release a little tension by mysel -- oh, wait, not that either.
I mean, seriously, I'm not saying people should have sex with everything that moves, but on the other hand, I do think sexuality is an important part of the human experience for most people.
And what about those who can't marry at all? Honestly, it is my opinion, and one that is shared by some of my closest friends, that no one is ultimately going to be willing to marry me given a wide variety of factors. It's always been a dream of mine, I started aggressively looking for a spouse at 18 or 19. Apparently, the church would rather I just never made love to anyone my entire life. But I have done so and will continue to so when and if opportunities to be with people I love arise. I guess that means I'm going to hell.
The funny thing is, God's honest truth here, if I could have been married in a monogamous lifelong relationship the day I turned 18 or 21, I would have. It's always been the thing I've wanted most out of life. In essence, I want for myself something that the church has no problem with and even encourages in it's most basic form. It's just that the reality of the situation is different, that I can't have that, and if somehow a miracle happens and I did find a wife (And it would truly take a miracle), even then I'd have to use birth control most likely and still the church would condemn me.
This is in general a problem I see sometimes with religion in it's authoritarian forms -- there is just not any true recognition of the fact that people are different and face different circumstances in life. I would marry if I could, but I can't. Where is the church for me who wants to marry a woman (something they should have no problem with)? Where is the church for gay people who are naturally attracted to the same gender? Where is the church for many of these people who just aren't quite typical?
And, truthfully, there is a whole legion of doctrine and dogma that basically locks the Vatican in to not making compassionate changes for people. Maybe that's the way God wants it. Maybe my issue is with God. Sometimes I think it is. That's why I've struggled with Episcopalianism (I am a cradle Roman Catholic, adult convert to Episcopalianism), because I like it, but I'm not sure I *believe* it.
Whether my complaint is against God or man, though, I think it's a valid one. And I think many complaints have similarly validity. And it's not because by any means I don't like religion -- you'll never meet someone who is as liturgically or theologically obsessed as I am. I love spirituality and incense and robes and santus bells and even church latin. I love the way the liturgical calendar flows and assigns meaning to time. Some years I would get to church early for big holidays and watch as they dressed the altar and lit the candles and changed the hymn board. I love religion and spirituality, I am just not sure how I feel about God some days.
