Reluctant "Calvanist"

Stevelj

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This is a crazy one Im afraid. I am in my 60s I grew up Baptist never heard anything about election in church. About 15 years ago my friend who is a Calvanist told me about it. I was outraged. I searched the Bible to prove him wrong. Over and over. I then came to the belief it must be true. I was actually relieved when I did, because I thought I found the security I had always been searching for. Id prayed before this hundreds of times for God to save me. Had talked to many preachers. I kinda dropped out of church as a teenager, and went back in my 40s . I was a person believing in Calvanism and that I was elect. But a couple years ago ,after a unwanted divorce, I saw myself closely . I had so much time to think and I feel like God showed me how sinful I was. Although I was engaging in sinful stuff that I did know . I have come to believe Im not elect. I want to be saved, I ask God to save me, to do whatever to me as long as I can be his child. I want to be saved so badly. Everyday its constantly on my mind. I dont want to go to church because I feel God is against me. I feel like Im one of those who was born to show Gods wrath. But then why why do I wake each morning and thru the day asking God begging God to save me ,to let me be one of HIs children. Ive not met anyone in my situation. They either believe the are elect and are good. Or they are more freewill and believe they are good . Can anyone help me? This is eating me alive. I cant read Bible it just seems to bring more conviction. I can remember exactly when I got to thinking I wasnt saved. I even feel like God put a curse of a nervous tic on me. Ive had since that time. I want God I want to be saved I want my mind to think the thought He wants , but Im not . I even have bad blasphemous thoughts. Im so confused, Ive seen counselors , they didnt help, Im only asking on a internet forum out of desperation.
 

HTacianas

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This is a crazy one Im afraid. I am in my 60s I grew up Baptist never heard anything about election in church. About 15 years ago my friend who is a Calvanist told me about it. I was outraged. I searched the Bible to prove him wrong. Over and over. I then came to the belief it must be true. I was actually relieved when I did, because I thought I found the security I had always been searching for. Id prayed before this hundreds of times for God to save me. Had talked to many preachers. I kinda dropped out of church as a teenager, and went back in my 40s . I was a person believing in Calvanism and that I was elect. But a couple years ago ,after a unwanted divorce, I saw myself closely . I had so much time to think and I feel like God showed me how sinful I was. Although I was engaging in sinful stuff that I did know . I have come to believe Im not elect. I want to be saved, I ask God to save me, to do whatever to me as long as I can be his child. I want to be saved so badly. Everyday its constantly on my mind. I dont want to go to church because I feel God is against me. I feel like Im one of those who was born to show Gods wrath. But then why why do I wake each morning and thru the day asking God begging God to save me ,to let me be one of HIs children. Ive not met anyone in my situation. They either believe the are elect and are good. Or they are more freewill and believe they are good . Can anyone help me? This is eating me alive. I cant read Bible it just seems to bring more conviction. I can remember exactly when I got to thinking I wasnt saved. I even feel like God put a curse of a nervous tic on me. Ive had since that time. I want God I want to be saved I want my mind to think the thought He wants , but Im not . I even have bad blasphemous thoughts. Im so confused, Ive seen counselors , they didnt help, Im only asking on a internet forum out of desperation.

A good start would be to forget everything you've ever heard about Calvinism. Calvinism and its idea of election only came about some 1500 or so years after the advent of Christianity. And when pressed, Calvinists will quickly back away from it. And rather than going into a lengthy discussion of it, I'll leave you with this:

2Pe 1:10 Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble;

If someone was predestined to some thing or another, why would they need to do something in order to make it sure?
 
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Stevelj

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A good start would be to forget everything you've ever heard about Calvinism. Calvinism and its idea of election only came about some 1500 or so years after the advent of Christianity. And when pressed, Calvinists will quickly back away from it. And rather than going into a lengthy discussion of it, I'll leave you with this:

2Pe 1:10 Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble;

If someone was predestined to some thing or another, why would they need to do something in order to make it sure?
Thanks , I really wish I could forget about Calvinism. Doctorine of grace.,,, but theres too much in the Bible about it. It should be called Paulineism I guess. I wish I hadnt heard of it, I would still just be hoping on rom 10:13
 
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mourningdove~

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Ive not met anyone in my situation. They either believe the are elect and are good. Or they are more freewill and believe they are good .

Maybe this ^ is what is tripping you up abit?
Whether one believes in the doctrine of election, or not ... when we are born again, we do not become 'good'.


"Now as He was going out on the road, one came running, knelt before Him, and asked Him, “Good Teacher, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?” So Jesus said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God."
~ Mark 10:17-18

None of us becomes 'good' when we are saved.
And as long as we are carrying around this old flesh with us, we will sometimes sin.
Till we go home to be with the Lord, we will be in an ongoing battle with the sinful flesh.
... But now, as a child of God, we have the power of God available to us to enable us to be victorious in the battle!

That desire you have to be saved? To be a child of God? That is not how the natural man thinks.
Rather, it is evidence of God working in your life:


"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day."
~ John 6:44

But a couple years ago ,after a unwanted divorce, I saw myself closely . I had so much time to think and I feel like God showed me how sinful I was. Although I was engaging in sinful stuff that I did know.

We most easily see our sinfulness when we experience a big fall. And it can be very painful to realize these things about ourselves.
We like to think we are better than we are.

But, again, in order to even 'see' our sinfulness, it is a work of God, the Holy Spirit, Who reveals our sinfulness to us.
Everything is grace.

God does not show us our sin that we would sink into despair or unbelief. He doesn't work that way.
It is the devil, the enemy of our soul, who tries to drown us in despair. Not God.

--> When we sin, we repent. Accept the forgiveness of God. And be grateful to Him for his great mercy. <--

The more we see our sinfulness, and our capacity for sin, the more we see our need for God. We grow in humility.
And the more we grow in humility, the more we grow in our love for God, and thankfulness to Him.
Becoming aware our sinfulness isn't pleasant, but growing in humility is a very good thing!
Humility keeps us close and dependent on God.

Being familiar with the doctrines of grace, then I suppose you may also be familiar with the sermons of John MacArthur ... perhaps the writings of Arthur Pink ... etc. Those have been very helpful to me, but for a refreshing, uplifting look at those doctrines, I can recommend a YouTube series by Rabbi Schneider (of 'Discovering the Jewish Jesus' fame) entitled "Identity and Purpose". There are 10 videos in the series.

Sometimes Calvinists can come across rather harshly in the way they present things.
Rabbi Schneider does teach on predestination and election, but in a way I find to be particularly encouraging.
(Note: Try not to be turned off by his Jewish garb. I use to be.
But Rabbi Schneider is very much a believer in Jesus Christ, who just happens to also be Jewish.)

A link to the series:


God bless.
 
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Simon_Templar

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This is a crazy one Im afraid. I am in my 60s I grew up Baptist never heard anything about election in church. About 15 years ago my friend who is a Calvanist told me about it. I was outraged. I searched the Bible to prove him wrong. Over and over. I then came to the belief it must be true. I was actually relieved when I did, because I thought I found the security I had always been searching for. Id prayed before this hundreds of times for God to save me. Had talked to many preachers. I kinda dropped out of church as a teenager, and went back in my 40s . I was a person believing in Calvanism and that I was elect. But a couple years ago ,after a unwanted divorce, I saw myself closely . I had so much time to think and I feel like God showed me how sinful I was. Although I was engaging in sinful stuff that I did know . I have come to believe Im not elect. I want to be saved, I ask God to save me, to do whatever to me as long as I can be his child. I want to be saved so badly. Everyday its constantly on my mind. I dont want to go to church because I feel God is against me. I feel like Im one of those who was born to show Gods wrath. But then why why do I wake each morning and thru the day asking God begging God to save me ,to let me be one of HIs children. Ive not met anyone in my situation. They either believe the are elect and are good. Or they are more freewill and believe they are good . Can anyone help me? This is eating me alive. I cant read Bible it just seems to bring more conviction. I can remember exactly when I got to thinking I wasnt saved. I even feel like God put a curse of a nervous tic on me. Ive had since that time. I want God I want to be saved I want my mind to think the thought He wants , but Im not . I even have bad blasphemous thoughts. Im so confused, Ive seen counselors , they didnt help, Im only asking on a internet forum out of desperation.

Read Luke 7:36-49

Conviction of sin is a good thing. Wallowing in shame is not.
If you pay attention to people like Paul, you will find that the closer to Jesus they become, the more they regard themselves as unworthy sinners. Yet that does not breed in them fear or despair, but rather love, because they believe in God's mercy and forgiveness.

Your faith ought not to be in whether you are elect or not (which you can't know, and which doctrines may be misunderstood). Your faith is in God's mercy and forgiveness.
As long as you desire forgiveness, He is willing to forgive.

Whenever you are convicted of sin, you ought to do two things. Repent and resolve to do better, and rejoice in God's mercy.

St. Anselm once said, God does not see us as we are, but as we would be.

As long as you desire God, and are willing to be changed, he will continue to work in you.

My favorite prayer from scripture is from the man to whom Jesus said "if you believe, it is possible." He replied "Lord I believe, help my unbelief."

The only assurance we have is God's unfailing love and his never-ending mercy.
 
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FutureAndAHope

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This is a crazy one Im afraid. I am in my 60s I grew up Baptist never heard anything about election in church. About 15 years ago my friend who is a Calvanist told me about it. I was outraged. I searched the Bible to prove him wrong. Over and over. I then came to the belief it must be true. I was actually relieved when I did, because I thought I found the security I had always been searching for. Id prayed before this hundreds of times for God to save me. Had talked to many preachers. I kinda dropped out of church as a teenager, and went back in my 40s . I was a person believing in Calvanism and that I was elect. But a couple years ago ,after a unwanted divorce, I saw myself closely . I had so much time to think and I feel like God showed me how sinful I was. Although I was engaging in sinful stuff that I did know . I have come to believe Im not elect. I want to be saved, I ask God to save me, to do whatever to me as long as I can be his child. I want to be saved so badly. Everyday its constantly on my mind. I dont want to go to church because I feel God is against me. I feel like Im one of those who was born to show Gods wrath. But then why why do I wake each morning and thru the day asking God begging God to save me ,to let me be one of HIs children. Ive not met anyone in my situation. They either believe the are elect and are good. Or they are more freewill and believe they are good . Can anyone help me? This is eating me alive. I cant read Bible it just seems to bring more conviction. I can remember exactly when I got to thinking I wasnt saved. I even feel like God put a curse of a nervous tic on me. Ive had since that time. I want God I want to be saved I want my mind to think the thought He wants , but Im not . I even have bad blasphemous thoughts. Im so confused, Ive seen counselors , they didnt help, Im only asking on a internet forum out of desperation.
The fact is you don't need Election to save you. I speak on the fact that Free Will is more logical here The Way and Free Will

You have to look to the scripture. You certainly need to be moving away from sin to be saved, you can not trust in a previous Election.

But the fact is you can still be forgiven. The reason is the cross covers a full lifetime of sins:

Heb 9:27-28 And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many.

In fact, while you have not died in your sin, i.e. are still alive there is hope, God still wants you.

1Jn 5:16 If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin which does not lead to death, he will ask, and He will give him life for those who commit sin not leading to death. There is sin leading to death. I do not say that he should pray about that.

But you must be willing to be cleansed from your sin. It is not just acknowledgment but attempting with your whole heart to leave sin behind.

1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Jas 5:19-20 Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.
 
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