Please share your stories of how you met.

[NOTWHATIWAS]

I am single. There seems to be an ongoing debate among singles. Should the woman approach the man or wait for the man to make the first move? Some say it is alright for the woman to approach the man. Others say to wait for the man and God will bring Him to you. Either I am really naive or just have a lot of faith. I am from the second camp-wait on the Lord. I believe that marriage through God's eyes doesn't exist solely to make me "happy" but is a ministry that God uses in the lives of some to fulfill His plan. If he wants me to live out this ministry in my life, He will make a way. He has not told me to approach anyone. In fact, He often speaks to me about who not to or when not to approach a man. This is good enough for me. I will wait on the Lord. Please send feedback.

 

[Mudinyeri]

My wife and I met in college. I came home from work to an apartment full of one of my roommate's friends. One of them, a girl, ran up to me when I walked in the door and gave me a big hug - as if we were long lost friend. I vaguely remembered her from a previous get-together but recalled that I found her annoying. When I didn't reciprocate to the same extent she hugged me, she introduced me to her friend (my wife). This friend flirted with me all evening. That was almost 28 years ago.

 

[Dave-W]

NotWhat; that is a very good question. (although I think it may have been asked before)

As to whether the guy should approach the woman or vice versa - there is no biblical standard. During the writing of the NT, marriages were arranged by the parents, usually while the couple were under 10 years old. So they grew up knowing who they were going to marry.

I believe you are correct in viewing marriage as a ministry, both to each other, and together to the church and world.

My story is this: While a freshman at college (Michigan State) I attended a local Assy of God for a while and someone asked me to sing a "special." (do they even do that anymore??) So I did.

Every spring the A/G had a talent contest (local, state, national) for scholarships to A/G colleges. My (now) wife was a HS senior and entered as a singer. At that congregation, the wife of the youth pastor accompanied vocalists on piano. But Sharon's song was more of a country style song and she told Sharon: "That song needs a guitar accompaniment - and I know JUST the guitarist!" (me) We were introduced, married 4 years later, and the rest is history. 39 years later we are still here.

 

[NOTWHATIWAS]

NotWhat; that is a very good question. (although I think it may have been asked before)

As to whether the guy should approach the woman or vice versa - there is no biblical standard. During the writing of the NT, marriages were arranged by the parents, usually while the couple were under 10 years old. So they grew up knowing who they were going to marry.

I believe you are correct in viewing marriage as a ministry, both to each other, and together to the church and world.

My story is this: While a freshman at college (Michigan State) I attended a local Assy of God for a while and someone asked me to sing a "special." (do they even do that anymore??) So I did.

Every spring the A/G had a talent contest (local, state, national) for scholarships to A/G colleges. My (now) wife was a HS senior and entered as a singer. At that congregation, the wife of the youth pastor accompanied vocalists on piano. But Sharon's song was more of a country style song and she told Sharon: "That song needs a guitar accompaniment - and I know JUST the guitarist!" (me) We were introduced, married 4 years later, and the rest is history. 39 years later we are still here.

Thanks for sharing and specifically validating my view of marriage as a ministry. This was extremely helpful. Do you and yours need prayer today? I like to collect prayer requests. That's part of my "gift of singleness" ministry. God Bless you and yours.

 

[Dave-W]

Thanks! You can pray that the Lord would have us be effective in all of what we are doing for HIM.

 

[RedPonyDriver]

How we met:
I had just gone to work at a certain company, and noticed this tall, good looking guy. Being rather short and squat, I didn't think he'd notice me. A few weeks later, I was discussing weekend plans with a few co-workers and he came up to me and asked me where WE were going on Friday night...I told him my plans and then sort of ignored him. He repeated "where are WE going on Friday night"? Well...slow me finally caught on! We went out that Friday night and have been together ever since. That was about 20 years ago. We'll be married 18 years this fall.

 

[dhh712]

I am single. There seems to be an ongoing debate among singles. Should the woman approach the man or wait for the man to make the first move? Some say it is alright for the woman to approach the man. Others say to wait for the man and God will bring Him to you. Either I am really naive or just have a lot of faith. I am from the second camp-wait on the Lord. I believe that marriage through God's eyes doesn't exist solely to make me "happy" but is a ministry that God uses in the lives of some to fulfill His plan. If he wants me to live out this ministry in my life, He will make a way. He has not told me to approach anyone. In fact, He often speaks to me about who not to or when not to approach a man. This is good enough for me. I will wait on the Lord. Please send feedback.

That sounds like a good plan! If God wants you to have a spouse, he will bring one into your life, trust me on that.

You asked for stories, and I'll give you a good example of what I meant above, the story of how I met my spouse.

Was atheist for a long time, lived with a domestic partner--not married--for many years, about 10. When I was converted, I moved away. Could not rationalize from the Bible continuing to live where I hated and get married to an unbeliever; we parted amicably. For myself, I'm quite strange and very picky about my partner. I wanted a relationship, just didn't think there was anyone out there for me (I also was a former transgender, so I thought that if somehow I did meet someone I actually liked, either I would have to lie about my past or he would be too weirded out about my past).

To make a long story short, I met my husband here, on Christian Forums! I posted a question about a topic and he was the only one who knew what I was talking about. We hit it off. Wrote back and forth a lot, decided to meet, and so on and so forth.

So if God wants you to have a marriage partner, he'll provide one for you. You can probably be more pro-active about it than I was, of course. I think dating sites are great; as well as joining groups with shared interests, things like that.

I'm also very glad that you do not see the primary goal of marriage as to be happy. It seems there is such a misunderstanding about that. In my understanding, marriage is a way to glorify God and to become more sanctified in our relationship to God. Who approaches who first can go either way, in my perspective. For me, I'm old fashioned, so it was my husband who inquired as to whether I was thinking about pursuing a relationship with him.

Best wishes and may God always guide you and protect you.

 

[South Bound]

I am single. There seems to be an ongoing debate among singles. Should the woman approach the man or wait for the man to make the first move? Some say it is alright for the woman to approach the man. Others say to wait for the man and God will bring Him to you. Either I am really naive or just have a lot of faith. I am from the second camp-wait on the Lord. I believe that marriage through God's eyes doesn't exist solely to make me "happy" but is a ministry that God uses in the lives of some to fulfill His plan. If he wants me to live out this ministry in my life, He will make a way. He has not told me to approach anyone. In fact, He often speaks to me about who not to or when not to approach a man. This is good enough for me. I will wait on the Lord. Please send feedback.

I had just started working at the bank and my secretary fixed me up with one of her girlfriends. She thought we'd hit it off because her girlfriend was from Tennessee and I'm from Alabama. About the only thing we had in common is that I grew up on a farm riding horses and she rode horses on her grandparents' farm.

Whatever it was, it must have worked because we've been married twenty-four years and have seven children.

 

[JojotheBeloved]

My husband and I met through a mutual friend in college. We became friends but didn't start dating until the following fall. When we started dating, it was a mutual decision. We used to talk over the phone late at night. One night he asked me to go out with him... then he fell asleep. The next morning I messaged him asking him if he really felt that way and if so, I would happily agree to go out with him. He didn't remember the conversation but said he did want to date me... so we did. We kind of mutually asked one another out. It worked out well for us. Not everyone is the same though. So don't feel pressured by anyone else's story like you have to compete with them or be like them. If God is leading your heart to wait, than wait. But if He pushes you to do something, do it. Don't worry about stereotypes of male or female gender roles. That's not actually going to matter in marriage. What matters is that you both love God and you love each other.

 

[NOTWHATIWAS]

Any stories of marriages that have survived spouse(s) struggling w/ Bi-polar Disorder? I was diagnosed several years ago and need encouragement. It would be much appreciated.

 

[OK Jeff]

My wife made contact with me. She worked in an office where I did business (nearly all by phone). We'd exchanged pleasantries many times but not much more. But she was always in the back of my mind as "someday". Well one night she'd pulled my phone number from a client list and called to see if I was going to an auction that weekend (she also worked for an auction company). I had no intention of going previously but suddenly I felt the need to go. We visited for a while when she took her break and I asked her out. I took her to dinner that very night and the rest is history.

P. S. Had she waited for me to make a move, she might still be waiting.