I’m not sure if I should try anymore

[Aliemikeyj]

I don’t know where to go

I tried getting in contact with my pastor but I can never get an appointment with him. I won’t say the sin I committed however, in terms of depravity and gravity and the years I’ve been away from god- I’ve committed a serious sin. God even promises vengeance on my sin in the Bible. I know god doesn’t play around, at least now I do. I am really trying to return to him but I feel like it’s too late. I thought I was saved but I fell away and I never truly followed god. It turned out that I was an unbeliever and the Holy Spirit was still pursuing me. God tried really hard for me but I messed up so so badly. It’s possible that I’ve been given over to a reprobate mind.

I’m trying to repent and turn from my ways but I feel like it’s all empty and hopeless if the Holy Spirit doesn’t enable it. I feel like spiritually my soul is dead and it’s really my fault. I sinned so badly in my life I don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying but there hasn’t been any change and my whole situation is a theological nightmare.

I cry out to god every day but I feel like it won’t change anything and I’m trying to change my ways but i always fail and everything just becomes pointless. Of course I did this to myself and I won’t stop trying however I feel like no matter what my efforts will go in vain. I chose to veer off the path god had for me and now I’m paying for it. I don’t feel conviction at all. I don’t know what to do.

 

[PloverWing]

It sounds like you're struggling with this all by yourself. If your church is so large that your pastor doesn't have time to meet with parishioners individually, is there perhaps a pastor at a nearby smaller church that you could meet with and talk to?

In my tradition, when there's a sin that's troubling a person's conscience, we have the option to meet with our pastor, confess the sin in their presence, and receive a spoken assurance of God's forgiveness, often accompanied by some spiritual counseling. That can be a healing experience. If there's an Episcopal or Lutheran church near you, their pastor would probably be willing to hear your confession and give you assurance of God's forgiveness, even if you're not a member of their church.

 

[com7fy8]

prayer for you . . .

Trusting God about this. Simply trust Him . . .

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

 

[Joseph G]

Praying for you too. His grace is greater than our sin! Romans 5:20

 

[Pop D.]

I know first hand how hard it can be to change your ways. It's incredibly difficult, but if you keep trying and seeking Him, God WILL give you the victory, in the end.

 

[mikeforjesus]

No sin is beyond the cross as long as person still has breath to be alive to repent. God gave David as an example who commited adultery and murder.Just may have bad consequences on earth because of how it affects others that they may not heal on this earth though must forgive.

 

[Richard T]

In I Cor., a man committed immorality so bad that it was far worse than what the unbelievers did. Paul turned Him over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh that his spirit would be saved. In II Cor most think the man was restored.
2 Corinthians 2:6-11 (ESV)
6 For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough,
7 so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.
8 So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him.
9 For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything.
10 Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ,
11 so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.

If you are working with God for restoration and repentance, then God will receive you even if the pastor does not. Your sin is not greater than the heathen, many in churches everywhere have great sins. (I have been there) Paul was setting an example, and even if this pastor wants to break fellowship with you, certainly God does not. Consider counseling from the forums or another source. In a multitude of counselors there is victory. There is victory and freedom in Jesus. He who is forgiven much, loves much. Don't let the devil dance on your head. Tell yourself, Jesus is enough and keep moving forward. God bless!

 

[AlexB23]

I don’t know where to go

I tried getting in contact with my pastor but I can never get an appointment with him. I won’t say the sin I committed however, in terms of depravity and gravity and the years I’ve been away from god- I’ve committed a serious sin. God even promises vengeance on my sin in the Bible. I know god doesn’t play around, at least now I do. I am really trying to return to him but I feel like it’s too late. I thought I was saved but I fell away and I never truly followed god. It turned out that I was an unbeliever and the Holy Spirit was still pursuing me. God tried really hard for me but I messed up so so badly. It’s possible that I’ve been given over to a reprobate mind.

I’m trying to repent and turn from my ways but I feel like it’s all empty and hopeless if the Holy Spirit doesn’t enable it. I feel like spiritually my soul is dead and it’s really my fault. I sinned so badly in my life I don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying but there hasn’t been any change and my whole situation is a theological nightmare.

I cry out to god every day but I feel like it won’t change anything and I’m trying to change my ways but i always fail and everything just becomes pointless. Of course I did this to myself and I won’t stop trying however I feel like no matter what my efforts will go in vain. I chose to veer off the path god had for me and now I’m paying for it. I don’t feel conviction at all. I don’t know what to do.

I prayed for you. If the pastor at your church is not helping, you can call up a directory of nearby churches and ask to speak with a pastor.

You might want to type this into Google/Bing: Church pastor phone directory for [your city]

 

[Palmfever]

Did you do this?

[Act 22:5 The high priest and the whole council of elders can testify that this is so. For I received letters from them to our Jewish brothers in Damascus, authorizing me to bring the Christians from there to Jerusalem, in chains, to be punished.

[Gal 1:13, 23 You know what I was like when I followed the Jewish religion--how I violently persecuted God's church. I did my best to destroy it. ... All they knew was that people were saying, "The one who used to persecute us is now preaching the very faith he tried to destroy!"
[1Co 15:9 For I am the least of all the apostles. In fact, I'm not even worthy to be called an apostle after the way I persecuted God's church.
[Phl 3:6 I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.
[1Ti 1:13 even though I used to blaspheme the name of Christ. In my insolence, I persecuted his people. But God had mercy on me because I did it in ignorance and unbelief.

Paul did.
If you are being convicted, you are not gone.

 

[Aliemikeyj]

Did you do this?



Paul did.
If you are being convicted, you are not gone.

But Im not being convicted anymore- I wish I was but i didn’t listen to god ever and Paul did it in ignorance- I had some knowledge of the truth so I don’t know if there’s any hope

 

[Josheb]

I cry out to god every day.....

Is that true? If not then pos an accurate description of what you do. If it is accurate, then why do you cry out to God every day?

.....but I feel like it won’t change anything and I’m trying to change my ways but i always fail and everything just becomes pointless.

That is not a feeling. It is a belief.

Nothing I do will change anything.

That is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It does not permit change and the only action it permits is useless action that will cause not change. Stop telling yourself useless beliefs and start telling yourself something healthy, something useful.

Actions in a direction of my goals will accomplish incremental change. especially if I am persistent. I am not a shmuck. I can do this.

Of course I did this to myself...

So what?

...and I won’t stop trying...

Trying will not make any difference if everything you do changes nothing.

....however I feel like no matter what my efforts will go in vain.

I can tell you something you can do that will definitely change everything: Do nothing. Don't post in the forum. Don't talk to anyone. Don't watch television. Don't go to church. Do not eat. Do nothing.

You'll get more and more depressed and if you stick to not eating then within two weeks you will literally die.

That will change everything.

I chose to veer off the path god had for me and now I’m paying for it.

Then realize there are consequence for your nothing-accomplishing actions and get back on the path.

I don’t feel conviction at all.

So what?

Why then was this post written and posted?

I don’t know what to do.

I doubt that, but let's suppose that sentence is true. It implies you would like to know what to do. Is that true? Would you like to know what to do?

 

[HopeSings]

I don’t know where to go

I tried getting in contact with my pastor but I can never get an appointment with him. I won’t say the sin I committed however, in terms of depravity and gravity and the years I’ve been away from god- I’ve committed a serious sin. God even promises vengeance on my sin in the Bible. I know god doesn’t play around, at least now I do. I am really trying to return to him but I feel like it’s too late. I thought I was saved but I fell away and I never truly followed god. It turned out that I was an unbeliever and the Holy Spirit was still pursuing me. God tried really hard for me but I messed up so so badly. It’s possible that I’ve been given over to a reprobate mind.

I’m trying to repent and turn from my ways but I feel like it’s all empty and hopeless if the Holy Spirit doesn’t enable it. I feel like spiritually my soul is dead and it’s really my fault. I sinned so badly in my life I don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying but there hasn’t been any change and my whole situation is a theological nightmare.

I cry out to god every day but I feel like it won’t change anything and I’m trying to change my ways but i always fail and everything just becomes pointless. Of course I did this to myself and I won’t stop trying however I feel like no matter what my efforts will go in vain. I chose to veer off the path god had for me and now I’m paying for it. I don’t feel conviction at all. I don’t know what to do.

My friend God is bringing me out of the same nightmare. We are OK. Don't trust feelings right now. Lean on God and not your understanding. Jesus doesn't forsake us. He promises. Nothing can separate us from God's love in Christ and nothing is impossible for God.

 

[HopeSings]

But Im not being convicted anymore- I wish I was but i didn’t listen to god ever and Paul did it in ignorance- I had some knowledge of the truth so I don’t know if there’s any hope

You have much hope I assure you. My nightmare is so bad that I dont want to talk about it but God got me through it. He will for you as well.

 

[CoreyD]

I don’t know where to go

I tried getting in contact with my pastor but I can never get an appointment with him. I won’t say the sin I committed however, in terms of depravity and gravity and the years I’ve been away from god- I’ve committed a serious sin. God even promises vengeance on my sin in the Bible. I know god doesn’t play around, at least now I do. I am really trying to return to him but I feel like it’s too late. I thought I was saved but I fell away and I never truly followed god. It turned out that I was an unbeliever and the Holy Spirit was still pursuing me. God tried really hard for me but I messed up so so badly. It’s possible that I’ve been given over to a reprobate mind.

I’m trying to repent and turn from my ways but I feel like it’s all empty and hopeless if the Holy Spirit doesn’t enable it. I feel like spiritually my soul is dead and it’s really my fault. I sinned so badly in my life I don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying but there hasn’t been any change and my whole situation is a theological nightmare.

I cry out to god every day but I feel like it won’t change anything and I’m trying to change my ways but i always fail and everything just becomes pointless. Of course I did this to myself and I won’t stop trying however I feel like no matter what my efforts will go in vain. I chose to veer off the path god had for me and now I’m paying for it. I don’t feel conviction at all. I don’t know what to do.

Are you able to, jog your memory for a full list of where have you looked to for help, and can you recall if at any time at all any help may have come your way?

 

[Lukaris]

Think of Peter denying the Lord 3 times like in Luke 22:54-62 then see Peter being restored in John 21:15-19. Hope this can be of help.

 

[Aliemikeyj]

Is that true? If not then pos an accurate description of what you do. If it is accurate, then why do you cry out to God every day?

That is not a feeling. It is a belief.

Nothing I do will change anything.

That is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It does not permit change and the only action it permits is useless action that will cause not change. Stop telling yourself useless beliefs and start telling yourself something healthy, something useful.

Actions in a direction of my goals will accomplish incremental change. especially if I am persistent. I am not a shmuck. I can do this.

So what?

Trying will not make any difference if everything you do changes nothing.

I can tell you something you can do that will definitely change everything: Do nothing. Don't post in the forum. Don't talk to anyone. Don't watch television. Don't go to church. Do not eat. Do nothing.

You'll get more and more depressed and if you stick to not eating then within two weeks you will literally die.

That will change everything.

Then realize there are consequence for your nothing-accomplishing actions and get back on the path.

So what?

Why then was this post written and posted?

I doubt that, but let's suppose that sentence is true. It implies you would like to know what to do. Is that true? Would you like to know what to do?

Yes absolutely

 

[Josheb]

Yes absolutely

Then tell me why this opening post was posted. What was the intent, the hoped for reply, and the eventual outcome?

 

[Aliemikeyj]

Then tell me why this opening post was posted. What was the intent, the hoped for reply, and the eventual outcome?

Well I guess I was just looking for hope because my situation felt hopeless. I posted it because I needed the help

 

[Josheb]

Well I guess I was just looking for hope because my situation felt hopeless. I posted it because I needed the help

To what degree do you understand feelings are transitory; they do not last and, therefore, cannot be trusted as the sole basis for decisions?

To what degree do you also understand posting an op looking for help contradicts any doubt nothing should be tried? In other words, the act of posting the op is evidence some degree of surety exists. It's not that you're not sure; it is that you are not fully sure. Big difference.

Which brings me to a third inquiry. With what is the "not sure" being replaced? Feelings? If so, what do you think of the practice of replacing a belief with feelings? There's likely another belief that is as yet unstated because it is not likely a belief in surety, or hope, or self-efficacy was wholly abandoned without an alternative taking its place.

Which brings me to my last inquiry for this post: What is it you would like to be thinking, like to be feeling, and like to be doing? .......and why, or to what end? Is there some specific problem in life's circumstances that needs addressing? figure it out, pin it down, and state it. If there is more than one, then prioritize them and post the top two.

 

[NBB]

God can take you out of any spiritual 'pit', could you go to a good church, where they seek the presence of God? (very very important), going to a place where the Spirit of God is, (because he promised to be there when we gather not alone), the presence of God can take you slowly out of those lows, and deliverance and prayer etc from others couldn't hurt.

Seeking God in prayer is necessary to have communion with him, if we don't go to church and don't pray and read, we become cold.