Help. Please.

[Rescued One]

I've tried to learn this for years. I don't know where to post my question or where to find a legitimate answer.

I want a definition of child abuse. Why can't it be defined?

How can someone ignore a Christian lifestyle, be disobedient to scriptures about treatment of others, and the preacher(or priest) think that it doesn't mean that person isn't a Christian.

If any man be in Christ is he a child abuser or incapable of controlling his anger?

Where can I get answers?

 

[rebornfree]

Hi Rescued One, nice to see you again. I haven't been on here for a while - I've started attending a new Church and been a bit busy.

Regarding your questions. The Bible must be our ultimate authority and the Lord talked of us loving others as ourselves, behaving towards them as we would want them to behave towards us, not causing the little ones to stumble and not to sin when we are angry. However being a Christian is accepting the Lord's death in our place. We should then live the way the Bible teaches but it is a process; it takes time and sometimes we can fall back. Failure is not something to be taken lightly but it doesn't mean that we are not Christians. That maybe what the preacher means. However if they think that sin is okay that is worrying.

I get the impression that you might be referring to something specific. Without knowing about it I would say that there may be a spiritual and behavioural problem which needs addressing: either a saved person not behaving correctly or someone who just calls themselves a Christian but has not yet accepted the Lord's death in their place.

Child abuse can never be right, but the world may have different definitions to us. Some would say that smacking is wrong. Others that the child has a right to identify with whichever gender they want and that it is abuse to insist that they are a girl/boy. The world has gone mad. But for serious issues: beating, sexual offences etc I would imagine that there must be some sort of definition enshrined in the law of your country. Or maybe, on an international level, in the UN. This link might help: UN Convention on the Rights of the Child - UNICEF UK.

HTH

 

[Unqualified]

You can define it for yourself if it will help you get justice. You know what’s wrong maybe an official would agree. I hear spanking is not allowed. So anything worse than that is going to be wrong too.

 

[Rescued One]

Disagreement on the issue is what irritates me! Tolerance makes no sense! Acceptance of different viewpoints isn't helpful.

I want a definition of child abuse. Why can't it be defined?

John 14
15“If you love me, keep my commands. 16And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.21Whover has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”

I'm not comfortable with those who don't stress obedience, but I don't like cults. I guess I just have to accept that it makes little difference to most denominations.

 

[Richard T]

Child abuse to me is anything knowingly done to hurt or cause pain to a child. If it is done unknowingly then I would define that as neglect. In general, there are lots of concepts that vary. War for instance can be defined in a number of ways. When such definitions are not universally agreed upon it is the responsibility of the author to point out what definition they are using so that others can have a fuller understanding.

 

[Rescued One]

Child abuse to me is anything knowingly done to hurt or cause pain to a child. If it is done unknowingly then I would define that as neglect. In general, there are lots of concepts that vary. War for instance can be defined in a number of ways. When such definitions are not universally agreed upon it is the responsibility of the author to point out what definition they are using so that others can have a fuller understanding.

I wasn't looking for a secular definition. Is the Bible an insufficient guide?

2 Timothy 3:16-17
16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

 

[Rescued One]

Child abuse to me is anything knowingly done to hurt or cause pain to a child. If it is done unknowingly then I would define that as neglect. In general, there are lots of concepts that vary. War for instance can be defined in a number of ways. When such definitions are not universally agreed upon it is the responsibility of the author to point out what definition they are using so that others can have a fuller understanding.

Thanks, but if I define it, I could be wrong. I want God to tell us, or for someone's understanding to have biblical support.

 

[Rescued One]

Downright depressing. My parents were antichristian. I don't see much support for Christian parenting anywhere.

 

[godisagardener]

Thanks, but if I define it, I could be wrong. I want God to tell us, or for someone's understanding to have biblical support.

This might be of some help... It's from GotQuestions.
What Does the Bible Say About Child Abuse?

 

[Richard T]

There really is no biblical definition. In this post It stretches the idea a bit far in some of their examples. What does the Bible say about child abuse? | GotQuestions.org

Also in II Kings 4:1 there was a woman who was soon to give her children up as slaves to satisfy debt. So if that was legal it seems pretty grim for children in OT times.

 

[Hazelelponi]

A few videos for you. The first is short.

 

[Rescued One]

There really is no biblical definition. In this post It stretches the idea a bit far in some of their examples. What does the Bible say about child abuse? | GotQuestions.org

What do you mean when you say "it stretches the idea a bit far in some of their examples" ?

 

[Richard T]

What do you mean when you say "it stretches the idea a bit far in some of their examples" ?

In their answer they first note the scripture about letting the children come to Jesus. Later they talk about other scriptures such as do not provoke your children, Eph 6:4, and "Colossians 3:21 tells us not to “embitter” our children so they will not become discouraged. Ephesians 4:15–19 says we are to speak the truth in love and use our words to build others up, not allow rotten or destructive words to pour from our lips, especially toward the tender hearts and minds of children." This is not the same definition of secular child abuse but I guess a Christian definition of child abuse is a parent that keeps God out of the household or says anything that discourages children from God. It's only guessing though since gotquestions notes that the bible does not mention child abuse. One might also want to distinguish between spiritual neglect and child abuse. Again, no perfect definition, but it does show that if one wants to adapt to a more Christian definition it can include things society does not. It also can allow corporal punishment whereas a secular definition may not allow spanking.

 

[Rescued One]

In their answer they first note the scripture about letting the children come to Jesus. Later they talk about other scriptures such as do not provoke your children, Eph 6:4, and "Colossians 3:21 tells us not to “embitter” our children so they will not become discouraged. Ephesians 4:15–19 says we are to speak the truth in love and use our words to build others up, not allow rotten or destructive words to pour from our lips, especially toward the tender hearts and minds of children." This is not the same definition of secular child abuse but I guess a Christian definition of child abuse is a parent that keeps God out of the household or says anything that discourages children from God. It's only guessing though since gotquestions notes that the bible does not mention child abuse. One might also want to distinguish between spiritual neglect and child abuse. Again, no perfect definition, but it does show that if one wants to adapt to a more Christian definition it can include things society does not. It also can allow corporal punishment whereas a secular definition may not allow spanking.

A lot of Bible verses tell us how we ought to behave towards others. Children are included in "others." I think parents can be verbally abusive and should repent. I also know that parents who think they are Christians might not care if their discipline drives the child to rebel against them. Some churches don't instruct good parenting and give the parents a lot of leeway such as forgiving Christians of all their sins so that their consciences are clear.

Ephesians 4:31-32
31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.

My daughter's little stepson spilled his milk at my house and started trembling.

 

[rebornfree]

My daughter's little stepson spilled his milk at my house and started trembling.

That is sooooo sad. If he has been treated harshly because of accidents that is extremely worrying. (Even if a child did that deliberately it should still be dealt with calmly and peacefully.) It sounds like someone has been giving the poor little lad a hard time. I pray that you and your daughter find the right way to protect him.

 

[Rescued One]

That is sooooo sad. If he has been treated harshly because of accidents that is extremely worrying. (Even if a child did that deliberately it should still be dealt with calmly and peacefully.) It sounds like someone has been giving the poor little lad a hard time. I pray that you and your daughter find the right way to protect him.

He's in his thirties now. I haven't seen him in years. When he was young he had a brother who committed suicide. His father(an abusive husband and parent) and my daughter divorced.

 

[rebornfree]

He's in his thirties now. I haven't seen him in years. When he was young he had a brother who committed suicide. His father(an abusive husband and parent) and my daughter divorced.

Oh I see. I feel sad for the young man and hope that he gets some help if he is still suffering from the effects of his father's abuse and the trauma of his brother's suicide. That is a lot to deal with. I also hope that your daughter has recovered from her experiences with her ex-husband.

 

[Rescued One]

You're very kind. Thank you.