Flee from sexual temptation

[Poppyseed78]

I'm praying for patience for you both, as well as clarity in making decisions together. I do think it's important to start focusing on your (collective) future rather than on his parents' wishes. There comes a point where your own happiness is at stake.

At this time in your relationship, it seems it is time to start making things happen. You mentioned elsewhere that you hope to be married within a couple years. In my opinion, that is way too long. Personally I don't have the patience for that, particularly with no actual official engagement, and with the self-imposed no-kissing rule. You are adults. Also, if you wait for God to give you a sign for when the right time is, you might be waiting your whole lives. My husband has a friend who is now 47 who said he won't get married until God makes it very clear who he wants him to marry and when. So he dated various women over the years, stringing them along and then breaking up when they brought up the topic of marriage, because he didn't see any "signs". I hope through prayer you receive the guidance that you seek, but I also think you and your bf should be making some decisions in the near future.

 

[RedPonyDriver]

Dr. Ed Wheat - a noted Christian family physician of the last generation, commented in one of his books that the primary reason behind him referring women to get hysterectomies was from repeated arousal without a good release ([bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]). He estimated it was at least 75% of the cases. There was tissue damage from "congestion" or blood pooling in the uterus; and without the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] to flush it out, it just stagnated there causing a small amount of tissue damage. The effect was cumulative. Over time it built up.

This is laughable...and shows utter ignorance of how a woman's reproductive system works. Blood "pools" in the uterus when the uterine lining is shed and is "flushed out" thru menstruation.

Regarding arousal, "courting", etc...this is just further proof of the damage the "purity culture" does to people. You're both in your mid 20's or so...he won't get married unless his parents give their blessing. What's holding them back? Is this some sort of power trip? When my husband and I got serious, I told him he had a year to decide if we were going to get married or not because I sure wasn't going to be strung along. We married within that year.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Its pretty amazing that you both are doing all those steps to stay pure. Your doing better then most. Me, purity didn't go so well. Made it until 27 then lost my virginity. Just keep up what your doing and pray. Don't worry about what your parents think. I mean sometimes parents meanwell, but you two have to make the decisions. As for the sex drive, it is an akward topic to talk about since you also want to not tempt each other. My wife and I talked about the subject during our engagement. I asked her what her views on sex in marriage were, did she think she would want sex alot or a little....etc. While sex isn't the "end all" of things when it comes to marriage, for some it can be.

I take it you have also talked about other issues? Like christian beliefs. How to raise children. How many kids you want. How the money will be spent (like are you equals...etc). Bad habits...etc. You will never find anyone perfect of course, but its still good to know what to expect when you marry. Granted somethings you won't really know if you like or not until your married. For example my wifes a bit more.....messy. I'm a bit OCD clean/germ freak. I'm a saver, shes a saver to but also has some times when she doesn't think before spending. So on and so forth. But we got through most of the issues relatively quick.