Finding it difficult to talk to non-believers

[Aurel1a]

I try to be kind to everyone, even when they don't speak kindly to me. But the toughest thing is to speak with non-believers because as soon as I mention God or Jesus, they no longer want to speak. That's not what they want to hear, but as it is a huge part of my life, it's mostly what I talk about. And so I'm finding it difficult to make friends and find a romantic partner because of this. Now I don't want a non-believer as a romantic partner anyway, so that doesn't really matter. But it's so difficult to find faithful people. People who actually know the Bible and live by Biblical principles. The same thing goes for friends. And I'm not sure where to look, so all I feel like I can do is trust God that the right people will cross my path at the right time. Any advice is welcome. Thanks for listening, my fellow believers. May God bring you blessings and joy.

 

[Pop D.]

Bringing up spiritual matters to people who aren't going to be receptive is probably a bad idea-Jesus did warn us about casting our pearls before swine. Continuing to trust the Lord's timing for bringing the right people people into your life is probably for the best, assuming you can't find a decent church in your area.

 

[bèlla]

Religion and politics can be contentious subjects. Why would a stranger engage in topics which might cause upset? While you may enjoy discussing it they're not required to participate. Discourse isn't one-sided. If you've noticed a pattern in reception why do you persist? You're making things hard for yourself and lamenting the lack of connections when the solution is simple. Stop.

When you're developing an acquaintance it's best to start with general topics and listen for common denominators. You can open with a compliment or a question. Listening is important. You need to pay attention to their response and observe their body language. If a topic makes them uncomfortable change the subject don't keep going.

And I wouldn't assume you'll have carte blanche with believers. They'll have boundaries too which should be respected. If you work on your communication skills you'll have more opportunities for engagement and may develop a few bonds. Don't try too hard. Everyone won't reciprocate or want to be friends and that's okay.

You can find Christian books on how to make friends and continue to pray.

~bella

 

[godisagardener]

You didn't mention whether you attend church. If you don't, then find one and begin going regularly. Church is comprised of believers and people who can become your friends. Attend Sunday School, go to Bible studies, check out various local church websites that list coming events. We're not to be of the world, and while we ARE supposed to spread the Gospel, we should spend our quality time among believers.

When you meet people or strike up a discussion, listen to what the other person is saying. You should be able to tell a believer by the way he/she acts and lives their life, though it can be difficult sometimes. But clearly, the place to start is among other Christians. And while it's wonderful that God and Jesus are the biggest part of your life, there are other topics to discuss to sound out acquaintances. Ask what kind of music they like, what they do in their spare time, hobbies, etc. Don't jump right into religion. Unfortunately that's a big turnoff for most people. And even if it isn't a turnoff, people don't want to listen to it every minute if a conversation.

I hope you find some places where you can meet other Christians and form friendships.

 

[CoreyD]

I try to be kind to everyone, even when they don't speak kindly to me. But the toughest thing is to speak with non-believers because as soon as I mention God or Jesus, they no longer want to speak. That's not what they want to hear, but as it is a huge part of my life, it's mostly what I talk about. And so I'm finding it difficult to make friends and find a romantic partner because of this. Now I don't want a non-believer as a romantic partner anyway, so that doesn't really matter. But it's so difficult to find faithful people. People who actually know the Bible and live by Biblical principles. The same thing goes for friends. And I'm not sure where to look, so all I feel like I can do is trust God that the right people will cross my path at the right time. Any advice is welcome. Thanks for listening, my fellow believers. May God bring you blessings and joy.

There are a lot of good things about you, which indicates your heart is in the right place.

1. You try to be kind to everyone, even when they don't speak kindly to you.
2. Talking about God is a huge part of your life - mostly what you talk about.
3. You don't want a non-believer as a romantic partner.

These are all commendable, and God is pleased with you for this.

The one problem you mentioned might be a problem that can actually erode your faith.
Perhaps it might help to do a Bible study on the topic of "friends" or "close association", because it appears that you are keeping company with persons who do not love God.
Please correct me if I am wrong.

It is normal, and actually very enjoyable for a Christian to talk with friends about what is up-building - spiritual things, So, when the company is uninterested, it would be discouraging.
Worst yet, it can sap your spiritual strength, and subtly have a molding influence on you. That is, without your realizing it, your thinking is being molded.

Think of it this way.
You have a basket of apples, which look like these:

You buy fresh apples and put them with the spoiled batch.

What happens?
The fresh apples will look fresh for a time, but over time, what do you notice?
You certainly aren't going to see a basket of fresh looking apples. The good apple won't change the rotting one.
Rather, the gases from the rotting apples, will gradually affect the good apple, changing it. In no time, those changes will be noticed.

This illustrates why it is dangerous to keep company with people who do not love God, nor demonstrate they want to know and serve him.
The Bible says, at Proverbs 13:20, One who walks with wise people will be wise, But a companion of fools will suffer harm.

Sadly, we sometimes allow our treacherous heart to mislead us (Jeremiah 17:9) into thinking that bad associates will not affect us.
However, the apostle Paul gives us wise counsel.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be misled: "Bad companionships corrupt good morals."

It seems you could use good companions. Good friends are hard to find, but in the Christian congregation, one should be able to find friends they can spend time with, and hang out together.
They don't need to be friends your age.
Is this something you experience.

Regarding talking to non-believers, Jesus set the perfect example for us. Luke 4:42, 43; Luke 8:1; Matthew 4:23
Once we know the purpose why we are talking to non-believers, it's something we will find joy in doing, regardless of the response.
The Bible says they need to hear. Romans 10:13-15

 

[CoreyD]

You didn't mention whether you attend church. If you don't, then find one and begin going regularly. Church is comprised of believers and people who can become your friends. Attend Sunday School, go to Bible studies, check out various local church websites that list coming events. We're not to be of the world, and while we ARE supposed to spread the Gospel, we should spend our quality time among believers.

When you meet people or strike up a discussion, listen to what the other person is saying. You should be able to tell a believer by the way he/she acts and lives their life, though it can be difficult sometimes. But clearly, the place to start is among other Christians. And while it's wonderful that God and Jesus are the biggest part of your life, there are other topics to discuss to sound out acquaintances. Ask what kind of music they like, what they do in their spare time, hobbies, etc. Don't jump right into religion. Unfortunately that's a big turnoff for most people. And even if it isn't a turnoff, people don't want to listen to it every minute if a conversation.

I hope you find some places where you can meet other Christians and form friendships.

You made very good points.
It made me think of Acts 2:44-47
Good association with friend who have things in common, is so up-building and encouraging.
There is rejoicing, and it has God's blessing.

 

[Sharon Hayes]

You can connect with like-minded people in churches and at church events, Bible study groups, there are many ways to connect. However, your willingness to talk to unbelievers is commendable and you don't want to stop, because you've planted the seed. All that's left is for you to pray for the Lord to send others to water it. Also, you living your life in Christ can serve as your testimony, so do not be discouraged. Be prayerful.