Blended family

[Beautyinsteadofashes]

So my children are biracial, my bf and I are both white. Eventually I reckon my kids will get older and may ask why they look different from us. I would tell them they were biracial, both black and white and that they were beautiful and special and God wouldn't have them any other way.
Im hoping that they wouldn't ask many questions about their father. I never asked many about mine. But then, I had met mine. My son knew his father until he was two. I left him while pregnant with my daughter so my daughter has not met him. (This is a very good thing because my children would not be safe with him).
I know that there will be some judgment toward us, my bf and me and my kids. It will be obvious that I had my children with somebody else. I already get judged for having children outside of wedlock. Especially since I look very young. A lot of people think I look like a teenager but I'm actually almost 30. But when I go somewhere with my kids I see the looks I get. I get these awful glares and I know that they're thinking, " look at that young thing with two kids! Shameful. Sinful." its upsetting sometimes. When I was pregnant with my daughter a lot of people were asking me about the father and if I was married. I would just say "im not married. It was a bad situation". And that was that.
My bf says he knows he will be judged for being with me because I have biracial children, because it will be obvious that they are not his. This isn't a problem for him he just knows it's going to happen. But really, I think they will be judging me more than him. I am the one who had kids outside of wedlock. Biracial kids at that. So far I haven't had trouble. I haven't had anyone as far as I can tell judge my children or me for them being mixed race. But I reckon eventually the day will come. I reckon eventually my kids will get older and be in school and somebody will say something hurtful to them about their skin tone. You know what actually someone already told my son he was tan. I know this because he asked my mom if she was black or white. She said she was white and then asked him what he was. "Im tan"
I have never told my son he was "tan". I told my son "no baby. You are black and white and that is beautiful. You're special. You and your sister both."
Im really not worried about what other people think of me or my family. God's word says that if He is for us who dare be against us?
What are some of y'alls experiences with blended families?

 

[“Paisios”]

So my children are biracial, my bf and I are both white. Eventually I reckon my kids will get older and may ask why they look different from us. I would tell them they were biracial, both black and white and that they were beautiful and special and God wouldn't have them any other way.
Im hoping that they wouldn't ask many questions about their father. I never asked many about mine. But then, I had met mine. My son knew his father until he was two. I left him while pregnant with my daughter so my daughter has not met him. (This is a very good thing because my children would not be safe with him).
I know that there will be some judgment toward us, my bf and me and my kids. It will be obvious that I had my children with somebody else. I already get judged for having children outside of wedlock. Especially since I look very young. A lot of people think I look like a teenager but I'm actually almost 30. But when I go somewhere with my kids I see the looks I get. I get these awful glares and I know that they're thinking, " look at that young thing with two kids! Shameful. Sinful." its upsetting sometimes. When I was pregnant with my daughter a lot of people were asking me about the father and if I was married. I would just say "im not married. It was a bad situation". And that was that.
My bf says he knows he will be judged for being with me because I have biracial children, because it will be obvious that they are not his. This isn't a problem for him he just knows it's going to happen. But really, I think they will be judging me more than him. I am the one who had kids outside of wedlock. Biracial kids at that. So far I haven't had trouble. I haven't had anyone as far as I can tell judge my children or me for them being mixed race. But I reckon eventually the day will come. I reckon eventually my kids will get older and be in school and somebody will say something hurtful to them about their skin tone. You know what actually someone already told my son he was tan. I know this because he asked my mom if she was black or white. She said she was white and then asked him what he was. "Im tan"
I have never told my son he was "tan". I told my son "no baby. You are black and white and that is beautiful. You're special. You and your sister both."
Im really not worried about what other people think of me or my family. God's word says that if He is for us who dare be against us?
What are some of y'alls experiences with blended families?

Sad that so many, including Christians, are so judgmental rather than charitable. It sounds like you have a good bf there. I pray that God will give you all the strength you need to deal with any hurtful comments people may make, and that your children would never feel less valuable because of such. I have no experience to share or offer any advice in this area though.

 

[SkyWriting]

So my children are biracial, my bf and I are both white. Eventually I reckon my kids will get older and may ask why they look different from us. I would tell them they were biracial, both black and white and that they were beautiful and special and God wouldn't have them any other way.
Im hoping that they wouldn't ask many questions about their father. I never asked many about mine. But then, I had met mine. My son knew his father until he was two. I left him while pregnant with my daughter so my daughter has not met him. (This is a very good thing because my children would not be safe with him).
I know that there will be some judgment toward us, my bf and me and my kids. It will be obvious that I had my children with somebody else. I already get judged for having children outside of wedlock. Especially since I look very young. A lot of people think I look like a teenager but I'm actually almost 30. But when I go somewhere with my kids I see the looks I get. I get these awful glares and I know that they're thinking, " look at that young thing with two kids! Shameful. Sinful." its upsetting sometimes. When I was pregnant with my daughter a lot of people were asking me about the father and if I was married. I would just say "im not married. It was a bad situation". And that was that.
My bf says he knows he will be judged for being with me because I have biracial children, because it will be obvious that they are not his. This isn't a problem for him he just knows it's going to happen. But really, I think they will be judging me more than him. I am the one who had kids outside of wedlock. Biracial kids at that. So far I haven't had trouble. I haven't had anyone as far as I can tell judge my children or me for them being mixed race. But I reckon eventually the day will come. I reckon eventually my kids will get older and be in school and somebody will say something hurtful to them about their skin tone. You know what actually someone already told my son he was tan. I know this because he asked my mom if she was black or white. She said she was white and then asked him what he was. "Im tan"
I have never told my son he was "tan". I told my son "no baby. You are black and white and that is beautiful. You're special. You and your sister both."
Im really not worried about what other people think of me or my family. God's word says that if He is for us who dare be against us?
What are some of y'alls experiences with blended families?

All eight of my grand kids are bi-racial and I've never experienced any issues while toting them to sports, music, or dance events.

 

[Victory-N-Christ]

God bless you.

 

[Beautyinsteadofashes]

So my children are biracial, my bf and I are both white. Eventually I reckon my kids will get older and may ask why they look different from us. I would tell them they were biracial, both black and white and that they were beautiful and special and God wouldn't have them any other way.
Im hoping that they wouldn't ask many questions about their father. I never asked many about mine. But then, I had met mine. My son knew his father until he was two. I left him while pregnant with my daughter so my daughter has not met him. (This is a very good thing because my children would not be safe with him).
I know that there will be some judgment toward us, my bf and me and my kids. It will be obvious that I had my children with somebody else. I already get judged for having children outside of wedlock. Especially since I look very young. A lot of people think I look like a teenager but I'm actually almost 30. But when I go somewhere with my kids I see the looks I get. I get these awful glares and I know that they're thinking, " look at that young thing with two kids! Shameful. Sinful." its upsetting sometimes. When I was pregnant with my daughter a lot of people were asking me about the father and if I was married. I would just say "im not married. It was a bad situation". And that was that.
My bf says he knows he will be judged for being with me because I have biracial children, because it will be obvious that they are not his. This isn't a problem for him he just knows it's going to happen. But really, I think they will be judging me more than him. I am the one who had kids outside of wedlock. Biracial kids at that. So far I haven't had trouble. I haven't had anyone as far as I can tell judge my children or me for them being mixed race. But I reckon eventually the day will come. I reckon eventually my kids will get older and be in school and somebody will say something hurtful to them about their skin tone. You know what actually someone already told my son he was tan. I know this because he asked my mom if she was black or white. She said she was white and then asked him what he was. "Im tan"
I have never told my son he was "tan". I told my son "no baby. You are black and white and that is beautiful. You're special. You and your sister both."
Im really not worried about what other people think of me or my family. God's word says that if He is for us who dare be against us?
What are some of y'alls experiences with blended families?

My daughter has really wild hair. (Interestingly it almost looks blonde) I've tried special shampoos and conditioners, baby oil, detangling spray, leave in conditioner. Im on coconut oil now. Well see. Any suggestions?

 

[Victory-N-Christ]

My daughter has really wild hair. (Interestingly it almost looks blonde) I've tried special shampoos and conditioners, baby oil, detangling spray, leave in conditioner. Im on coconut oil now. Well see. Any suggestions?

Depending on the texture of her hair and age there are several things that you can try. It's best to ask a licensed cosmetologist for advice. I think that might work out better for you.
Good luck and God bless.

 

[JAM2b]

It's so much more common than it used to be. People are more accepting than they used to be, and even the ones who aren't don't tend to say much. There could be some incidents, but I think for the most part it's not going to be as severe as it would have been in the past.

I work in childcare, and the biracial children aren't treated differently from the others, or other parents. And the kids growing up with them don't seem to think anything bad about it. If they ask, it is just natural curiosity and a desire to understand diversity. It's not a negative situation at all.

I wouldn't put too much thought into your son saying he is tan. He may have just notice the tan skin color, especially since we are coming out of summer. He knows his skin is different from yours and gave it an identifying label. If you make it seem like you need to make him feel special because of his differences, then it might create an internal self-stigma that you are trying to avoid.