Why do I feel like God wants me to be alone?

[lovelyme]

I've always felt somewhat alone throughout most of my life. I have a large extended family but still feel very alone. My father was never in the picture then both of my grandparents on my mom's side passed. A few years ago my mom passed and I'm an only child. I'm not very close to most of my extended family outside of aunts/uncles and cousins. But I feel very lonely all the time. I'm 26 and most of my friends are getting married and having kids and I'm still single. I can't help but feel like God wants me to be alone.

I can't really understand why. A lot of the people I know have both of their parents in their lives and they've gotten married and are starting to have children and seem to have such an amazing support system. Even people I know who aren't Christians seem to be happier than I am and God has blessed them with spouses/kids/parents/grandparents. I can't help but question why God wouldn't have allowed me to at least have my mother in my life if no one else. I know people always say "God is always there and He's everything we need" etc and I understand that but at the same time He obviously understood our human desire and need for human interaction and companionship. It scares me to think that this might actually be the way my life goes. I can't help but question if I've done something wrong. It seems so unfair. I try to hold in together and continue to walk in faith but it's a heavy burden and lonely existence.

Have you ever felt like God wants you to be alone? I know it's not Christian like but I sometimes question whether God really wants me to be happy. I've prayed about it for years but still feel this way. I'm just tired of feeling this way.

 

[janny108]

you sound a little like me. I wonder how people that don't know God can have what looks like good support systems. But then again, I don't know the nature of the relationships involved. Hope someone can add to this conversation too.

 

[Krillin]

(Joshua 1:5) "No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you"

(Psalm 34:18) The lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.

 

[lovelyme]

Thanks slenderman. I know those verses and have read them many times throughout the years. I believe them but unfortunately they haven't changed the way I feel

 

[Krillin]

Thanks slenderman. I know those verses and have read them many times throughout the years. I believe them but unfortunately they haven't changed the way I feel

As Christians we do not need to rely on how we feel to determine our relationship with God. Relying on our own feelings is the worst we can possibly do.

Following Christ is about responding to his grace through faith with action. Witness to others as God leads you, and be in the company of other Christians.

 

[lovelyme]

As Christians we do not need to rely on how we feel to determine our relationship with God. Relying on our own feelings is the worst we can possibly do.

Following Christ is about responding to his grace through faith with action. Witness to others as God leads you, and be in the company of other Christians.

Great point about not being led by our feelings. That's a great way to think about it. However, at the same time I always hear about people who talk about how much joy and happiness we should have as Christians. I'm grateful to know God but I can't seem to shake the thought that God really wants me to be alone. I don't know. Maybe I'm just doing something wrong. I'm not perfect but for most of my life I've tried to live for God and stay away from doing ungodly things. It's frustrating to see people who aren't Christians settle down and start their own families and have that support system I used to have. Nevertheless thanks for the advice.

 

[Krillin]

Great point about not being led by our feelings. That's a great way to think about it. However, at the same time I always hear about people who talk about how much joy and happiness we should have as Christians. I'm grateful to know God but I can't seem to shake the thought that God really wants me to be alone. I don't know. Maybe I'm just doing something wrong. I'm not perfect but for most of my life I've tried to live for God and stay away from doing ungodly things. It's frustrating to see people who aren't Christians settle down and start their own families and have that support system I used to have. Nevertheless thanks for the advice.

Sorry. Not trying to hound you.

We need to find out where God wants us. Maybe it is possible he wants you alone. The way God works is not always pleasant to us.

(Isaiah 55:8 - 9)
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Don't be discouraged though. Maybe God wants us to be alone at times so we can concentrate more on him. This is what we might consider a blessing in disguise. When we follow Christ, we miss out on a lot of things in this world - including human relations. But What God does for us is fulfill that area of life where we would other wise be disappointed in such a way we could never achieve.

Live your life as you truly believe in Christ and he will surely bring you joy.

 

[jjust19]

If I were you, I'd be thankful. Why? 'Cause like the man who complains he has no shoes while there are people who have no legs, your situation isn't incorrigible. You need to stop focusing on your love life and start putting all your effort towards God. Be thankful for the fact you're healthy. Be thankful for the fact that you aren't gay, and therefore have to be celibate for the rest of your life. Be thankful that you're not an orphan with no family ties whatsoever. Moreover, God sometimes lets you hit rock-bottom to make you see that he is the bottom, the foundation on which all stands. You're never alone. You may not know it, but he's always there.

And I honestly know how you feel. I was alone most of my life, too. My father abandoned me 'cause I am gay, my mother has mental issues, rendering her incapable of looking after my younger siblings, I grew up in a secular home where the only way of hope was death, and my lack of being able to go out led to the development of poor social skills, in which I'm now a social butterfly thanks to much trial and error.

The point is, trust in God, Jesus, and the blessed Holy Spirit. You honestly have no idea how blessed you are. I'm saying you're being petulant, for we all forget sometimes, and I'm not trying to be rude being someone who is younger than you, but it's good to get a kick in the bum sometimes.

And you know what? He does want you to be happy. But you'll never experience that happiness if you try to get it by your own means. God bless.

 

[starlightbright]

dont trust ur feelings

god is w/ u.

/topic.

 

[turkle]

I've always felt somewhat alone throughout most of my life. I have a large extended family but still feel very alone. My father was never in the picture then both of my grandparents on my mom's side passed. A few years ago my mom passed and I'm an only child. I'm not very close to most of my extended family outside of aunts/uncles and cousins. But I feel very lonely all the time. I'm 26 and most of my friends are getting married and having kids and I'm still single. I can't help but feel like God wants me to be alone.

I can't really understand why. A lot of the people I know have both of their parents in their lives and they've gotten married and are starting to have children and seem to have such an amazing support system. Even people I know who aren't Christians seem to be happier than I am and God has blessed them with spouses/kids/parents/grandparents. I can't help but question why God wouldn't have allowed me to at least have my mother in my life if no one else. I know people always say "God is always there and He's everything we need" etc and I understand that but at the same time He obviously understood our human desire and need for human interaction and companionship. It scares me to think that this might actually be the way my life goes. I can't help but question if I've done something wrong. It seems so unfair. I try to hold in together and continue to walk in faith but it's a heavy burden and lonely existence.

Have you ever felt like God wants you to be alone? I know it's not Christian like but I sometimes question whether God really wants me to be happy. I've prayed about it for years but still feel this way. I'm just tired of feeling this way.

I'm sorry that you lost your parents and grand parents at such a young age. It's understandable that you would feel lonely and without support, especially if your friends are moving on to marriage and you are not.

The problem with self pity is that it turns one's attention and focus on self, instead of outward to others. When one is focused on self, they miss opportunities to connect with other people. Others can sense when someone is focused on themselves, and is less likely to engage in a relationship because they feel shut out.

Like others have said, don't trust your feelings. Choose to trust God to lead you into satisfying relationships. Ask yourself if you are indeed self focused, and answer yourself honestly. If so, then ask God to help you to turn your attention outward to others so that you can be friendly and helpful instead. Ask God to lead you to someone you can help.

Everyone has a cross to bear, even those that appear to you to have none. God wants us to give it to Him...cast your cares upon Him because He cares for you. Instead of "feeling" that God wants you to be alone, choose to TRUST the One who loves you and wants the best for you (Jer 29.11)

 

[janny108]

Don't be discouraged though. Maybe God wants us to be alone at times so we can concentrate more on him. This is what we might consider a blessing in disguise. When we follow Christ, we miss out on a lot of things in this world - including human relations. But What God does for us is fulfill that area of life where we would other wise be disappointed in such a way we could never achieve.

Live your life as you truly believe in Christ and he will surely bring you joy

thanks for your words! God bless you

 

[lovelyme]

Thanks for the responses. Definitely gave a different perspective. Much needed!

 

[Peripatetic]

Many of those "happy" married/family people are still suffering - even loneliness. And the non-Christians will always have that hole in their hearts where the Holy Spirit should be.

I had a tough day yesterday, and was thinking something like this:

Does no one really have it all? If so, I'm sad because of all the pain in the world.

Do most people have it all? If so, I'm resentful because I don't.

Do *I* actually have it all? If so, I'm scared because I'm still not content!

In the end, I came to the conclusion that all three have some grain of truth. That we all have a cost for discipleship (and there's an even bigger cost for those who don't accept Him). Yet, He is very generous too. I just don't always see past the barriers.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

since we can't see people's hearts, we can't know whether they are reborn in Christ or not; but for someone who is lost, and looks like they have it all together, there's still something missing. they might be able to hide this in public, and around their family and friends; but when the lights are out and everyone is asleep and they're lying in the bed in the dark, they know they're missing something. you can pour the whole world into yourself, and without God you'll still be empty. a lost person is alone no matter how many people are around them, or how well they're loved by others, or how much they have - it's all pointless in the end; empty, a waste. but a Christian is never alone.

it's hard being physically alone; it's tough when it looks like life is passing you by. think about Sarah; Abraham was a business man, and probably spent a good portion of his life on the road or tending to his business. years passed by; her time to bear children came and went, her husband grew old, and she spent most of her time alone. then one day long after she had stopped hoping things would change, these three guys walked up out of the desert and told Abraham that Sarah would have a son - she laughed! clearly it had been a long, long time since she gave into what she could see and stopped hoping for what God had promised. a year later she was laughing again; but for a different reason - she had a baby! something happened that day the three guys stopped by - nothing that she could see with her eyes - everything looked exactly the same on the outside - the change was in her heart. we know this because she made it into the great Faith chapter of Hebrews 11:

Heb 11:11 KJV
(11) Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised.

here is the key - she decided to believe that God was faithful to make good on his promise to her and Abraham of a child, even when everything that she could see said this was ridiculous.

Gal 3:13-14 KJV
(13) Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree:
(14) That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

you have this same promise that Sarah had; and if you'll judge God to be faithful, you'll see it come to pass; even if it takes decades, and everything on the outside looks like it will never happen.

in order to believe God you have to know Him; if you'll make this your priority, all things you can see with your eyes will be added to you.

Mat 6:33-34 KJV
(33) But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
(34) Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

if you're reborn in Christ, never say again that you are alone; judge Him faithful, and it will come to pass in your life too. faith sustained cannot fail. God has faith in you; that's why He chose you - always agree with Him!!!

Heb 13:5-6 KJV
(5) Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
(6) So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

 

[amandatea]

I've always felt somewhat alone throughout most of my life. I have a large extended family but still feel very alone. My father was never in the picture then both of my grandparents on my mom's side passed. A few years ago my mom passed and I'm an only child. I'm not very close to most of my extended family outside of aunts/uncles and cousins. But I feel very lonely all the time. I'm 26 and most of my friends are getting married and having kids and I'm still single. I can't help but feel like God wants me to be alone.

I can't really understand why. A lot of the people I know have both of their parents in their lives and they've gotten married and are starting to have children and seem to have such an amazing support system. Even people I know who aren't Christians seem to be happier than I am and God has blessed them with spouses/kids/parents/grandparents. I can't help but question why God wouldn't have allowed me to at least have my mother in my life if no one else. I know people always say "God is always there and He's everything we need" etc and I understand that but at the same time He obviously understood our human desire and need for human interaction and companionship. It scares me to think that this might actually be the way my life goes. I can't help but question if I've done something wrong. It seems so unfair. I try to hold in together and continue to walk in faith but it's a heavy burden and lonely existence.

Have you ever felt like God wants you to be alone? I know it's not Christian like but I sometimes question whether God really wants me to be happy. I've prayed about it for years but still feel this way. I'm just tired of feeling this way.

*Blind Post*

Lovelyme,

You are still young and you still have lots of time. I have a feeling that since you're looking around at all those who *have someone*, that you're probably not meant to be single.

I'm not sure if you mean being alone as in -not part of a couple- or alone as in -having no one to lean on or spend time with-.

If it's the former, then I would say, just ask Jesus for patience until the right man comes along. Also make sure that you are fully prepared for marriage. How well do you know yourself; your interests, your talents, your strengths and weaknesses, your core beliefs (not what someone told you to believe, but what you truly believe), how you feel about family - having kids or not, staying home or not - etc, etc.

I spent years thinking about those things and thinking about what I really could live without and what I could not live without. I thought about what I enjoyed doing, whether or not I *had to* get married and have kids. But I'm an introvert and I really honestly feel completely fine being "alone." Now, there's a difference between being single and being utterly alone, as I'm sure you know.

The grass always seems greener ..... but as Peripatetic said - many people who are married are also lonely. Before I was a committed Christian, I had a boyfriend who I thought was an answer to prayer, but we did not communicate very well and he was very controlling. Everything was rushed and the relationship did not take long to break down. I wasn't lonely, but it was a surface "relationship." Sometimes marriages, sadly, are a charade and there are two people in a lot of pain. I think it's best to not define ourselves by whether or not we're married, but to focus on where God has us in the moment and do our best in that situation. That's what being content is.

I went through a time where I lost friends - we grew apart over time or I lost interest in the activities which had brought us together in the first place - and it was tough, but I made it through and it taught me who my real friends are and what makes a true friend.

I would say, of course, focus on God and spend your time doing worthwhile things, make friends with folks who share similar interests and if you're one who needs to be married, God will send the right man to you.

A word of caution though - always measure friends and potential spouses by their fruits and don't rush into things. It usually doesn't work unless you're really fortunate.

Anyway, don't lose hope and don't give up on God. He's still working on you and your life.

 

[christsoccer]

I've always felt somewhat alone throughout most of my life. I have a large extended family but still feel very alone. My father was never in the picture then both of my grandparents on my mom's side passed. A few years ago my mom passed and I'm an only child. I'm not very close to most of my extended family outside of aunts/uncles and cousins. But I feel very lonely all the time. I'm 26 and most of my friends are getting married and having kids and I'm still single. I can't help but feel like God wants me to be alone.

I can't really understand why. A lot of the people I know have both of their parents in their lives and they've gotten married and are starting to have children and seem to have such an amazing support system. Even people I know who aren't Christians seem to be happier than I am and God has blessed them with spouses/kids/parents/grandparents. I can't help but question why God wouldn't have allowed me to at least have my mother in my life if no one else. I know people always say "God is always there and He's everything we need" etc and I understand that but at the same time He obviously understood our human desire and need for human interaction and companionship. It scares me to think that this might actually be the way my life goes. I can't help but question if I've done something wrong. It seems so unfair. I try to hold in together and continue to walk in faith but it's a heavy burden and lonely existence.

Have you ever felt like God wants you to be alone? I know it's not Christian like but I sometimes question whether God really wants me to be happy. I've prayed about it for years but still feel this way. I'm just tired of feeling this way.

I pray God will comfort you, let you know what He wants you to do, alleviate your loneliness until such time for Him to bring you a spouse
Praying
I know how you feel

 

[trailmovin]

I must say being alone can be a blessing, I'm 62 have never been married, work in home missions with the poor. I go home alone, but I have a very strong devotion life. I live the life of John 15, "abiding in Christ" I would say the closer, and nearer you are to Christ, the less you will be lonely. I live alone, but I'm never lonely...wishing you His grace....trailmovin