When sin makes you feel numb/depressed

[alan650]

I write this as I feel completely numb and depressed. I really don't understand myself. I am addicted to porn. As soon as I look at it and let sin fully happen, I feel complete sadness and guilt and shame. However, I will be back to looking at it again and repeat the process again and again. It is like God is just absent and my whole body is drained of anything good and all that is left is this completely depressing void.

I don't understand it. If something is so destructive and sinful, why do I let it seduce me again and again? This has always been the number one struggle in my spiritual walk and almost the sole sin that repeatedly comes between me and God.

I seriously feel as though I am going to lose salvation and God is looking at me as disgusting and worthless. I hate myself for this. How can I finally break free??

 

[BlueJay83]

Obeying the Law wont free you.
remember the Law came to increase the Tresspass.

AS soon as a Law is made, our hearts instantly rebel... take a look at the dents in this sign.
Obeying the law "dont throw stones" may stop you from breaking the Law.. but in your heart, it only makes you want to throw a stone more.

Focus on His Grace over you, you are compleetley forgiven even WHILST LOOKING at it. You wil never be free out of your own effort, and you will always feel guilty whilst you keep putting yourself under the Law.

By knowing that you are Free from the Law (no amount of your Obeying the Law will save you) then suddenly the desire to throw a stone suddenly goes away.

Download and listen to "Being Established in the Gift of Righteousness" by Rob Rufus
City Church International Archives 2009

 

[tranz4md]

I write this as I feel completely numb and depressed. I really don't understand myself. I am addicted to porn. As soon as I look at it and let sin fully happen, I feel complete sadness and guilt and shame. However, I will be back to looking at it again and repeat the process again and again. It is like God is just absent and my whole body is drained of anything good and all that is left is this completely depressing void.

I don't understand it. If something is so destructive and sinful, why do I let it seduce me again and again? This has always been the number one struggle in my spiritual walk and almost the sole sin that repeatedly comes between me and God.

I seriously feel as though I am going to lose salvation and God is looking at me as disgusting and worthless. I hate myself for this. How can I finally break free??

Hi Alan650,

Please visit Real Sex Radio with Steve and Jonathan. Don't know their last names. bebrokenministries.com you can and will be set free from this in th mighty name of Jesus whose blood was shed for you that yu may be a free man to bring glory and honor to Him. Praise you Jesus for setting captives free!! God Bless you and bebrokenministries.com

 

[LWB]

I feel exactly the same if I give in to a craving of chocolate, and eat and eat until I feel sick.

You have to find a balance between starvation, where the craving for something overwhelms your peace of mind, and overindulgence, which exhausts the appetite and produces that empty feeling.

God doesn't think we are worthless and disgusting because we have biological cravings. He created biology, as well as animals that behave according to the instincts he programmed them with. These instincts help life to propagate itself.

God made man to be a mixture of angel and animal, and it is your spiritual nature that is in conflict with the animal. We have the best of both worlds, and we are here to learn how to live as flesh and spirit.

Don't become fed up and dispirited; be patient. To become accomplished at any art requires innumerable mistakes and stumbling. We are practicing the finest art that is possible: the art of becoming Christlike. Keep your sight on Christ, not your own failings.

 

[alan650]

Thanks everyone for your replies! There have been periods of time I have been successful overcoming this sin. I think the longest period has been over 2 months. I felt such peace and joy from God during that time period and one day I have no idea what overtook me and I just gave in again and ever since I have not been able to find the same long victory. I have done this since I was around 13 and I am now 26 so it has had such a stronghold in my life for all these years.

I know I am not under the law and I know I have always struggled between my own efforts and God's strength. Dear Lord Jesus, please don't forsake me. The weight of my guilt and the emptiness I feel overwhelms me and I feel I have nowhere to turn.

Thanks again for your advice. I pray Jesus will heal me.

 

[Quasicentennial]

Trying to pull the plug on temptation can be a daily spiritual battle while you are young. Porn I believe is another form of making money where earning a living to survive in the big city with high home rental fees or paying a home mortgage can be worrying. Privately, I believe porn does relieve stress from work or study if you do not have a partner, and is also an indication of how healthy you are from the kind of food and drink that are chosen.:*:.I pray that Jesus within me to control my feelings with his healing peace and joy so that the actions of sin do not take control and turn me into a criminal.:*:. We as Christians wait patiently for Jesus to return sometime in the future so that the transformation of our new spiritual minds would be free from sexual feeling, replacing it with the pure spiritual feeling of our Christ that lasts forever like pure water that relieves thirstiness.:*:.

 

[BlueJay83]

I know I am not under the law and I know I have always struggled between my own efforts and God's strength. Dear Lord Jesus, please don't forsake me. The weight of my guilt and the emptiness I feel overwhelms me and I feel I have nowhere to turn.
.

You obviously ARE living under the Law, because why do you think His acceptance of you is based on your performance?

He has already promised "I will never leave you nor forsake you" ...so why would your sin (which is already forgiven) suddenly make God turn His back!

You are perfect in His eyes forever, if you think He will forsake you you are living like a Pharisee.. under the Law.
"because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy."

Download and listen to the messages I linked you to.. I'm 100% free from that addictrion because of these messages.