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What was the whole point of my situation if nothing came out of it?

Joslyn04

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I will try to keep this as short as possible. Ever since maybe the beginning of December 2018, this boy at school had a slight crush on me, and I as well liked him. I asked God for a sign that maybe I should say hello, or speak to him (not ask out or anything like that). The answer at the time was a clear no, for good reasons. But he kept expressing that he liked me, in soooooooo many ways it's unbelievable, and slowly it seemed like God started to push me to go speak to him. I'm telling you, I felt like God was telling me to do something. Every sign, and every situation, it started to become obvious. So, a little under a month ago, I said hello finally. He seemed stiff and awkward, maybe nervous is the word? Short conversation shortened even more, I got some of his contact information. We talked a little over texting, and every now and then we make little comments. Me and him seemed to have a lot in common, and I was so sure that we would be hanging out soon (as friends).I was excited because I don't have many friends and I thought that maybe I'd have someone to hang out with. But then all of that crumbled down one Thursday morning, for a good reason. He still liked me, and I still liked him, but there is a clear difference between us that I feel is what is stopping him from wanting to talk to me. All he did was stare, smile, his friends would tease him whenever I came around, he would try so hard to be close to me and it really hurt me when I realized we might not be friends after all. We aren't mad, we don't got beef, were exactly the way we were before. But like I said, there is a difference about us which stops us from hanging out (probably, i'm not sure). I was very disappointed, so I told my mom how stupid and foolish I felt thinking God was telling me to do something when the outcome was nothing. I felt stupid for following my heart instead of God's voice, in fact I don't even think he was talking to me at all. He said no clearly in the beginning, and I asked multiple times to take the urge to say something to that boy away but it just wouldn't go. My mom then told me she prayed to God back in January for someone to like me, and I not get rejected. She said because my friends get hit on a lot and I don't, she just wanted me to feel like a normal teenager. But there were many times people liked me and I liked them back, and some like me and I don't like them back. Sometimes it's the other way around. I just don't get the whole point of this whole situation. The outcome was nothing but a new contact... and then what? I'm just really disappointed and confused of all the times I cried one day and then jumping up and down in excitement, for what? I know that I am very confusing when I type but honestly this was more of a rant than anything. I guess the main thing that's bothering me was the fact that I prayed so much to do the right thing and when I thought I was hearing God's voice, I know look back and it seems like He wasn't even talking to me at all, as if he was listening to me but He didn't hear me.
 
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Cimorene

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From what you're describing both of you were just awkward around one another not really knowing how to proceed, maybe bc of inexperience with boys & girls being friends or dating. Are you disappointed bc he didn't just come out and ask you out on a date? Maybe he's confused & unsure of how you feel, if you like him that way, so he doesn't know what he is supposed to do. You could ask a group out for froyo or coffee or to see a movie or something & make sure you include him. So he knows you do like him but it's not super awk. Then maybe if it's more clear to him you like him, he'll ask you out.
 
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I know how you feel. Receiving mixed emotions are the worst, and if you realize that you have feelings for someone or something, I've found through personal experience that sometimes the desire to have that person or thing kind of clouds my mind to what God is truly saying, which is never good. Please feel free to tell me what you think, but I really don't think that nothing came out of this. Now you have a kind of grasp on things, you can focus on God and try to focus on his word and what he might be telling you. Remember that he can also speak through people, so maybe bring the situation up to other people and Christians that you know have a relationship with God and that you trust and see what they say. In addition, you might want to pay attention to this person, think about exactly what it is you like about them. Try to note things that might concern you, or things that might concern God, and that might help with your view of the big picture. Even if you don't end up with him, just remember that all things work out for the good of those who love God. You may not have a boyfriend, but hopefully you learn something from trying (as I have) and also think about this:

This doesn't go for everyone obviously, but sometimes when young girls get boyfriends, they shift their focus from God, to this new acquirement. That may or may not be you, but just in case it doesn't work out as you hoped, keep in mind that maybe God is trying to protect you or keep you away from something.

On the other hand, I'm not sure what the difference is between you two, but trust me, if God means for this to happen, he will take care of it. You just keep doing your part by trying to talk to him and encouraging him, first as friends, then if by God's will, maybe change will come. You just have to be patient about these things. I hope this helps, and I hope you feel better about this. I learned some of these the hard way. Things will work out eventually. :)
 
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