What makes you married in the eyes of God?

[ssammoh]

I'm just wondering.

I don't see how it can be just about having a wedding. Adam and Eve were married and they didn't have a wedding.

 

[Shattered-Reflections]

I'm just wondering.

I don't see how it can be just about having a wedding. Adam and Eve were married and they didn't have a wedding.

How do you know that they didn't? Just because it wasn't written about doesn't mean it didn't happen. Either way God ordained it 110%. One could argue that their priest was God and their witnesses the angels.

Marriage is a relationship based on a covenant: a contract between two people, that had consequences for breaking it. In order to make a legal contract you need to make vows and you need at least one witness. God did this with Abraham, that He would fulfill his promises to Abraham upon penalty of His death. We also have a covenant with Jesus Christ. God takes marriage as seriously as He takes His relationship with us because marriage is suppose to be a reflection of Christ to the Church. Marriage that's cherished and treated holy & sacred gives glory to God. Marriage that's cheapen, abused, or treated casually, reflects on how we see Christ and His Church.

I've had similar thoughts so I can definitely understand the feelings or logic that a ceremony doesn't account for much. It seems a trivial detail -- but it shouldn't be. Two people standing before their families, their church, their community and promising, not just to each other, but to the whole community and God that they will honor each other through everything good & bad till death. That should be more than white cake and frilly lace, it should be heavy, it should be frightening, it should be elating, it should leave you in awe.

Anyone can make promises to a lover in the dark, but the moment you announce your promises, intentions, and goals to the world -- if you go back on your word you'll lose your credibility, respectability, and honor. Moreover you've brought humiliation and shame to your spouse, to the families, to your community, and to God. It's easier to break off a private promise, it's harder to break off a public promise. That's true with anything, and it's true for marriage.

P.S. I'm not saying this to disrespect those who have gone through a painful divorce or to say there is no reason for divorce, just I'm saying marriage is something to take seriously.

 

[boogalaboogala]

I'm just wondering.

I don't see how it can be just about having a wedding. Adam and Eve were married and they didn't have a wedding.

adam and eve were never married. they were one flesh.. and they were the only two people on earth at the time.. God has marriage laws for a reason.. most people think the wrong reason..
most people think that it is to appease God.. that is definitely not it.. why would God put that much stock into one sin, while humanity breaks all of the other laws..
we are commanded to get married so that we share a life of companionship, and intimacy with one other.. and this other person, we literally become one flesh, mind, and spirit with.. so i used to think that the one flesh thing was while the man and woman were being intimate they were one completed unit made up of two people.. but, that was wrong.. so carnal.. when a man and woman become one. it is for several reasons.. one flesh as to keep from sexual immorality that comes through infidelity.. one mind so that they are not torn by arguments and the pitfalls of being double minded.. one spirit, in their worship of the Lord our God..
if we say that a marriage certificate is proof of marriage, and acceptable to God.. then what about all of the gay marriages held today.. i am certain that the Most High God, does not endorse them.. infact the bible is clear about the sinfulness of homosexuality.. there is really no dispute..
when a man and a woman marry in Holy matrimony.. and there is the key word.. "HOLY"....... so if you get married in the eyes of God, in holy matrimony then it is truly marriage..
i am not saying that a big wedding is required..
the marriage ceremony is alot like the baptismal ceremony.. it is an outward expression, or display to society(your peers) of you new commitment..
i know that i could have said that alot easier.. but, i just didn't know how..
bless you sister..

 

[boogalaboogala]

How do you know that they didn't? Just because it wasn't written about doesn't mean it didn't happen. Either way God ordained it 110%. One could argue that their priest was God and their witnesses the angels.

Marriage is a relationship based on a covenant: a contract between two people, that had consequences for breaking it. In order to make a legal contract you need to make vows and you need at least one witness. God did this with Abraham, that He would fulfill his promises to Abraham upon penalty of His death. We also have a covenant with Jesus Christ. God takes marriage as seriously as He takes His relationship with us because marriage is suppose to be a reflection of Christ to the Church. Marriage that's cherished and treated holy & sacred gives glory to God. Marriage that's cheapen, abused, or treated casually, reflects on how we see Christ and His Church.

I've had similar thoughts so I can definitely understand the feelings or logic that a ceremony doesn't account for much. It seems a trivial detail -- but it shouldn't be. Two people standing before their families, their church, their community and promising, not just to each other, but to the whole community and God that they will honor each other through everything good & bad till death. That should be more than white cake and frilly lace, it should be heavy, it should be frightening, it should be elating, it should leave you in awe.

Anyone can make promises to a lover in the dark, but the moment you announce your promises, intentions, and goals to the world -- if you go back on your word you'll lose your credibility, respectability, and honor. Moreover you've brought humiliation and shame to your spouse, to the families, to your community, and to God. It's easier to break off a private promise, it's harder to break off a public promise. That's true with anything, and it's true for marriage.

P.S. I'm not saying this to disrespect those who have gone through a painful divorce or to say there is no reason for divorce, just I'm saying marriage is something to take seriously.

it used to be that the law of the land required a wedding certificate.. but, times are a changing..
that is why i am so thankful that our God never changes.. without a never changing God to anchor our hopes to, we would be just like the rest of society.. tossed to and fro in the turbulence of uncertainty...

blessings

 

[LoricaLady]

That is a very good question. Our current laws for marriages licenses and matrimony are just that, current. For ex. in the middle ages if two people simply declared they were married in a bar or pub type place, whether they were sober or not, they were considered to be married. To prevent legal disputes, help the institution of marriage have some guidelines, and maybe to get some cash in the coffers of public institutions, laws were developed leading eventually to what we have today.

There were guidelines for marriage in ancient Israel, and we see them in archaeology and in between the lines in the Bible. That is, certain marital images are given describing Messiah and His bride, and if you know the customs of ancient Israel you know they match those.

I would say just get married under the laws of the land. We are told to obey authorities if they aren't asking us to do something like deny our faith. The laws do give protection, especially if there are children later on.

We are told not to have sex outside of marriage, so I'd guess however marriage is considered to take place in one's culture - again if not going against the Laws of YHWH, aka God - one should wait to have sex until the ceremony occurs.

Praying for you for wisdom on all that.

 

[seeingeyes]

I'm just wondering.

I don't see how it can be just about having a wedding. Adam and Eve were married and they didn't have a wedding.

You're right, it's not about a wedding. But it is about a public declaration of commitment.

 

[com7fy8]

What does our Father want?

In order to get a wife for Isaac, Abraham sent out a trusted servant. And the trusted servant prayed for God to bring him to the woman for Isaac and let him know she was the one God had chosen.

And it does not say anything about there being a ceremony or pronouncement.

But it was done as family, and with making sure with God. A mature and trustworthy and faithful and proven person made sure with God.

So, we can decoy ourselves with talking about outward actions and ceremony. But most of all we need to make sure with our Father, about who we belong with. And I would say that as Christians we are family with each other; so we want to have our mature example people and leaders sharing with us in finding out who we belong with and making sure with God. We need our example people to help us learn how to love in our marriage.

And Jesus says, "'Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:29) So, first we need to trust in Jesus and learn from Jesus who is our Groom . . . learn how Jesus has us loving in relating with Him as our Groom. And this loving is our example of how to be and share in marriage

So, if you are isolating yourselves and being immoral, I would say no this is not God's way of marriage. But if you as a couple are sharing with people who are Jesus' family, and if you are sharing with trustworthy leaders and other examples, in order to make sure and learn how to love, then keep on growing in love and discover how your relationship develops.

Do not be too concerned about what label to put on your sharing.

Most of all, I would say - - if you are growing in family and intimate sharing with each other, this is the best "part" of marriage . . . including how we are family and intimate with a variety of others who are Jesus love people (Ephesians 5:21, Ephesians 4:31-5:2, Ephesians 4:1-3, James 5:16, 1 Peter 5:3).

I am finding how I have a lady who is so good for me; she helps me to find out how to love, get corrected by God, and she can minister to me so I am alive in God's love so gentle and humble and quiet and pure. So, she is essential, like this, for me. So, if we do not get married, I still appreciate her and need her and would be glad to stay with her, if the LORD pleases. So, I would not marry someone who is not obviously helping you get real with God and get correction (Hebrews 12:4-17) to how Jesus wants us to love.

And your relationship needs to be shared as family with real Jesus people who you know are trustworthy and therefore you want them in on what you are doing If you are really growing in God's love together, Christians will be able to see this, and they will feed on your example while helping you, too. But if you are isolating yourselves and only justifying what you are doing in secret, this is not how our Father has a marriage. But it may be how certain cultures and even legal systems have things.

But get into family sharing with real Jesus people and see what God satisfies you to do in agreement with good example leaders and mature Christian couples who you trust and enjoy and appreciate how their example feeds you how to love > "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3) They will know what to do with you better than what you can do with each other

 

[paul1149]

I would say that in essence marriage is about solemn vows taken before God and man. When Isaac brought Rebekah into his tent, it was understood that this was marriage.

Compliance with the marriage laws, as we generally are directed to do in in Heb 13 and elsewhere, would come under doing the honorable thing before man.

edit: I hadn't seen Comfy's post before I posted.. Great minds...

 

[BFine]

I'm just wondering.

I don't see how it can be just about having a wedding. Adam and Eve were married and they didn't have a wedding.

*What is gleaned from the Bible...

1) The requirements should be reasonable and do not contradict the Bible,
a couple should seek whatever formal governmental recognition is available.
2) A couple should follow cultural and familial practices are typically employed to recognize a couple as “officially married."
3) If possible, a couple should consummate the marriage sexually, fulfilling the physical aspect of the “one flesh” principle.

 

[Shattered-Reflections]

it used to be that the law of the land required a wedding certificate.. but, times are a changing..
that is why i am so thankful that our God never changes.. without a never changing God to anchor our hopes to, we would be just like the rest of society.. tossed to and fro in the turbulence of uncertainty...

blessings

I apologize if there was any confusion in what I said, boogalaboogala . I was NOT talking about a marriage certificate at all. Never even crossed my mind. I personally see a distinct difference between what the world constitute as marriage and what God constitute as marriage.

I am saying the marriage vows and ceremony is a covenant. It is not pen and ink nor government approved, but it's a contract; a promise; a covenant made before God that is expressed outwardly and publically, just like baptism.

A marriage certificate is a legalize government document for the purposes of taxes and legal claims. This is a practical document, but just because the government says someone or something are married doesn't mean it is so before the eyes of God. Each country, each era, will vary on what they count is marriage, God doesn't.

 

[Pal Handy]

I'm just wondering.

I don't see how it can be just about having a wedding. Adam and Eve were married and they didn't have a wedding.

Matthew 19:5
4 And He (Jesus) answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Being "joined to his wife" refers to intercourse between a man and a woman as consumation of
the commitment to be joined together as man and wife in marriage on God's terms under His definition of marriage.

Even the law recognizes that those who live together as man and wife (common law marriage),
are liable to the same laws concerning property and disolving such a union as those who are legally married

 

[NewUser777]

Marriage is a relationship based on a covenant: a contract between two people, that had consequences for breaking it.

This X 1000.

Marriage without a covenant is meaningless. And that covenant should be forever. Anything less is falling short of the glory of God ... which is sin.

 

[iambren]

Marriage= two vows before a public witness.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I've always said that the bible says we are to obey the laws of the land on marriage. So in order for my state to recognize me as married I have to do it a certain way. I can't just say we are married. So if we break the laws and say we are married because we say so, God will not consider us married. Granted thats just my view.