CrownCaster said:
Because in my heart I knew I wanted God more then anything else. At that point I did not even really know anything else was out there. I only assumed that the mormon church was where it was at. I just knew, according to the bom that if I continued to pray and ask with sincerity I would get the confirmation. I also felt like I had to just keep on keeping on to get there. I lay prone on the floor many times seeking this confirmation. My heart never burned.
IMO, they should never have baptised you without this witness. I'm not about to criticise your experience. It is valid and honest. You prayed, you received no answer, you shouldn't have been baptised. The missionaries accomplished little good for you in baptising you. You feel cheated, lied to and are bitter about the entire experience.
If the missionaries had insisted you wait for an answer. Several things may have happend:
1) You may have eventually received an answer and then been baptised.
2) You may have not studied the church and decided intellectually that it was false and thus been spared the pain and anger at separating yourself from the church.
3) You may have given up searching and resumed your search at a later date when you were prepared to do so.
Regadless of the case, to me one thing is abundatly clear: You should not have been baptised at that time and the missionaries were ignoring the advice of the HG in going ahead with your baptism.
It is human nature to transpose your own thoughts, experiences and feelings onto others. We then assume that because they making different decisions they are either deceived, deluded or deliberately dishonest. It is Wisdom to assume that because another makes different decisions to us, then perhaps it is because our thoughts, experiences and feelings differ.
I had an unfortunate experience with one set of missionaries that baptised a woman long before she should have been, in spite of my objections. She hadn't felt the HG and still had a problem with smoking. Naturally, within a short period of time (despite our efforts) she fell away. Eventually once her life was in order she started attending another church and felt a spiritual witness, so naturally she began attending that church. Now, I'm not about to second guess the HG. Just possibly, she is where she needs to be, and that the HG has guided her to where she can thrive best. We still keep in contact and until I moved I regularly visited her as her home teacher. We remain friends, and yes, I have learnt things from her. For example, one of her neighbours deliberately dumped rubbish over her fence and then glared at her. She told him she loved him and would pray for him, and then went inside and prayed for him. My reaction would have been significantly different.
As a missionary, I taught a very intelligent and honest man who was a strong member of another church. I asked him during the discussion what it would mean if he recived an answer from God that the Book of Mormon is true. He replied staright away "It would mean I would have to join your church."
After the discussion was finished, I tried to set a follow up appointment. He said "No need. I have your book. I will read and pray about it and I will call you if I get an answer from God. I won't need any more lessons." Then he showed us his photos and newspaper articles of his missionary work in Africa, the hospitals he had built, people he had helped etc. It suddenly dawned on me that this was one of God's servants who was already following the guidance of the HG and he was where he could be the most effective instrument in the hands of God. There was no way the HG was going to draw him into the church where he would most likely be less effective.