What, exactly, is virtue signaling?

[LovebirdsFlying]

Details: My husband has a grown son by a prior marriage. We, and the vast majority of the family, are Christians. Different denominations represented, but all Christians. Except my husband's grown son, who is an angry and militant atheist. He has threatened to discontinue contact with my husband unless my husband renounces Christianity, which of course he's not going to do.

Son has been known to flood Hubby's inbox with emails railing against Christianity. When asked to please stop sending Hubby those types of emails, Son will respond, "You've been shoving the opposite down my throat since I was a child. This is payback." Yes, Hubby raised Son in church. But now that Son is grown, and on his own, it's entirely up to him. Hubby has friends who don't believe, and he will back off respectfully if asked to drop the subect and not discuss religion. Son most definitely will not. Son will be in your face about it.

One of the things Son objects to is that any time Hubby sends an email--it doesn't matter to whom--he will place a cross emoji after his name. It's simply part of his signature. That's how he signs all of his emails, regardless of who he's writing to. This makes Son very angry. He feels that using the cross emoji is virtue signaling, and it deeply offends him. In his most recent email, Son asked Hubby, "How would you like it if I signed my emails with a satanic symbol?" The answer is, of course, it's entirely up to Son, if that's what he wants to do. It's not a Christian's job to MAKE others believe the message. Only to state that we believe it, and why, and to live by it as best we can, asking forgiveness when we inevitably fail.

Son seems to think being a Christian is all about how great we think WE are, that God is going to reward us with Heaven because we've earned it. We're just so morally superior, so upstanding, so high and mighty, so far above everyone else. That is, of course, not what Christianity is. Hubby doesn't think he's superior to anybody because he's a Christian. Hubby simply has a Savior who forgave him, that's all. But Son doesn't see it that way. In Son's eyes, Hubby has an inflated ego and thinks he's special. That cross emoji is virtue signaling. Wearing an article of clothing with a Christian message on it is virtue signaling. Going to church is virtue signaling. Reading the Bible is virtue signaling. Talking about what he reads in the Bible is virtue signaling. Actually living by what he reads in the Bible is CERTAINLY virtue signaling. To Son's way of thinking, Hubby can't possibly be doing these things because he wants to, because he feels blessed by it, and because he loves the Lord. Naw, it must be because he wants to play "look at me!" and show off what a holy Christian he is. In Son's eyes, Hubby is an awful person (Son actually used the words, "you're an awful person") for being a Christian rather than a secular humanist who denies the existence of God.

So is any of the above virtue signaling?

And is simply not responding to these hateful emails the best course of action?

 

[HTacianas]

Details: My husband has a grown son by a prior marriage. We, and the vast majority of the family, are Christians. Different denominations represented, but all Christians. Except my husband's grown son, who is an angry and militant atheist. He has threatened to discontinue contact with my husband unless my husband renounces Christianity, which of course he's not going to do.

Son has been known to flood Hubby's inbox with emails railing against Christianity. When asked to please stop sending Hubby those types of emails, Son will respond, "You've been shoving the opposite down my throat since I was a child. This is payback." Yes, Hubby raised Son in church. But now that Son is grown, and on his own, it's entirely up to him. Hubby has friends who don't believe, and he will back off respectfully if asked to drop the subect and not discuss religion. Son most definitely will not. Son will be in your face about it.

One of the things Son objects to is that any time Hubby sends an email--it doesn't matter to whom--he will place a cross emoji after his name. It's simply part of his signature. That's how he signs all of his emails, regardless of who he's writing to. This makes Son very angry. He feels that using the cross emoji is virtue signaling, and it deeply offends him. In his most recent email, Son asked Hubby, "How would you like it if I signed my emails with a satanic symbol?" The answer is, of course, it's entirely up to Son, if that's what he wants to do. It's not a Christian's job to MAKE others believe the message. Only to state that we believe it, and why, and to live by it as best we can, asking forgiveness when we inevitably fail.

Son seems to think being a Christian is all about how great we think WE are, that God is going to reward us with Heaven because we've earned it. We're just so morally superior, so upstanding, so high and mighty, so far above everyone else. That is, of course, not what Christianity is. Hubby doesn't think he's superior to anybody because he's a Christian. Hubby simply has a Savior who forgave him, that's all. But Son doesn't see it that way. In Son's eyes, Hubby has an inflated ego and thinks he's special. That cross emoji is virtue signaling. Wearing an article of clothing with a Christian message on it is virtue signaling. Going to church is virtue signaling. Reading the Bible is virtue signaling. Talking about what he reads in the Bible is virtue signaling. Actually living by what he reads in the Bible is CERTAINLY virtue signaling. To Son's way of thinking, Hubby can't possibly be doing these things because he wants to, because he feels blessed by it, and because he loves the Lord. Naw, it must be because he wants to play "look at me!" and show off what a holy Christian he is. In Son's eyes, Hubby is an awful person (Son actually used the words, "you're an awful person") for being a Christian rather than a secular humanist who denies the existence of God.

So is any of the above virtue signaling?

And is simply not responding to these hateful emails the best course of action?

Virtue signaling is creating a false sense of Virtue to impress others. In your husband's case adding a cross to his signature can be virtue signaling or could be a genuine expression of faith.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Virtue signaling is creating a false sense of Virtue to impress others. In your husband's case adding a cross to his signature can be virtue signaling or could be a genuine expression of faith.

As mentioned, Hubby has friends who don’t believe. He signs his emails to them with that same cross emoji, and they don’t seem bothered by it because it’s simply part of his signature. He’s expressing himself, that’s all.

Son is, as far as I know, the only one who makes an issue of it. Told Hubby he should wear a giant cross around his neck and go preach on street corners so he can virtue signal “some more.”

 

[Gregory Thompson]

I had to google it. Virtue signalling seems to be saying something because it's popular regardless of whether you actually believe it or not. The underlying motivation is to feel good socially.

Based on the context of the story, it sounds like there's a different definition the son is going by?

 

[JesusFollowerForever]

Details: My husband has a grown son by a prior marriage. We, and the vast majority of the family, are Christians. Different denominations represented, but all Christians. Except my husband's grown son, who is an angry and militant atheist. He has threatened to discontinue contact with my husband unless my husband renounces Christianity, which of course he's not going to do.

Son has been known to flood Hubby's inbox with emails railing against Christianity. When asked to please stop sending Hubby those types of emails, Son will respond, "You've been shoving the opposite down my throat since I was a child. This is payback." Yes, Hubby raised Son in church. But now that Son is grown, and on his own, it's entirely up to him. Hubby has friends who don't believe, and he will back off respectfully if asked to drop the subect and not discuss religion. Son most definitely will not. Son will be in your face about it.

One of the things Son objects to is that any time Hubby sends an email--it doesn't matter to whom--he will place a cross emoji after his name. It's simply part of his signature. That's how he signs all of his emails, regardless of who he's writing to. This makes Son very angry. He feels that using the cross emoji is virtue signaling, and it deeply offends him. In his most recent email, Son asked Hubby, "How would you like it if I signed my emails with a satanic symbol?" The answer is, of course, it's entirely up to Son, if that's what he wants to do. It's not a Christian's job to MAKE others believe the message. Only to state that we believe it, and why, and to live by it as best we can, asking forgiveness when we inevitably fail.

Son seems to think being a Christian is all about how great we think WE are, that God is going to reward us with Heaven because we've earned it. We're just so morally superior, so upstanding, so high and mighty, so far above everyone else. That is, of course, not what Christianity is. Hubby doesn't think he's superior to anybody because he's a Christian. Hubby simply has a Savior who forgave him, that's all. But Son doesn't see it that way. In Son's eyes, Hubby has an inflated ego and thinks he's special. That cross emoji is virtue signaling. Wearing an article of clothing with a Christian message on it is virtue signaling. Going to church is virtue signaling. Reading the Bible is virtue signaling. Talking about what he reads in the Bible is virtue signaling. Actually living by what he reads in the Bible is CERTAINLY virtue signaling. To Son's way of thinking, Hubby can't possibly be doing these things because he wants to, because he feels blessed by it, and because he loves the Lord. Naw, it must be because he wants to play "look at me!" and show off what a holy Christian he is. In Son's eyes, Hubby is an awful person (Son actually used the words, "you're an awful person") for being a Christian rather than a secular humanist who denies the existence of God.

So is any of the above virtue signaling?

And is simply not responding to these hateful emails the best course of action?

To me it is not virtue signalling, why hide that we are christian, why hide if we do good around us? Jesus did say;

Mat 5:14 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.

Mat 5:15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a basket. Instead, they set it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

Mat 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

I know son needs to cool off, he needs a lesson in how to respect others and his father. did son ever believe at one point when he was younger? if so what happened for him to lose faith?

 

[Laodicean60]

Personal opinion, the root of virtue signaling is hypocrisy, the biggest issue in my eyes is whites calling whites racist. Like Bud Light, virtue signaled, but when customers jumped ship, they immediately reversed course. It happens so much.

 

[fhansen]

Details: My husband has a grown son by a prior marriage. We, and the vast majority of the family, are Christians. Different denominations represented, but all Christians. Except my husband's grown son, who is an angry and militant atheist. He has threatened to discontinue contact with my husband unless my husband renounces Christianity, which of course he's not going to do.

Son has been known to flood Hubby's inbox with emails railing against Christianity. When asked to please stop sending Hubby those types of emails, Son will respond, "You've been shoving the opposite down my throat since I was a child. This is payback." Yes, Hubby raised Son in church. But now that Son is grown, and on his own, it's entirely up to him. Hubby has friends who don't believe, and he will back off respectfully if asked to drop the subect and not discuss religion. Son most definitely will not. Son will be in your face about it.

One of the things Son objects to is that any time Hubby sends an email--it doesn't matter to whom--he will place a cross emoji after his name. It's simply part of his signature. That's how he signs all of his emails, regardless of who he's writing to. This makes Son very angry. He feels that using the cross emoji is virtue signaling, and it deeply offends him. In his most recent email, Son asked Hubby, "How would you like it if I signed my emails with a satanic symbol?" The answer is, of course, it's entirely up to Son, if that's what he wants to do. It's not a Christian's job to MAKE others believe the message. Only to state that we believe it, and why, and to live by it as best we can, asking forgiveness when we inevitably fail.

Son seems to think being a Christian is all about how great we think WE are, that God is going to reward us with Heaven because we've earned it. We're just so morally superior, so upstanding, so high and mighty, so far above everyone else. That is, of course, not what Christianity is. Hubby doesn't think he's superior to anybody because he's a Christian. Hubby simply has a Savior who forgave him, that's all. But Son doesn't see it that way. In Son's eyes, Hubby has an inflated ego and thinks he's special. That cross emoji is virtue signaling. Wearing an article of clothing with a Christian message on it is virtue signaling. Going to church is virtue signaling. Reading the Bible is virtue signaling. Talking about what he reads in the Bible is virtue signaling. Actually living by what he reads in the Bible is CERTAINLY virtue signaling. To Son's way of thinking, Hubby can't possibly be doing these things because he wants to, because he feels blessed by it, and because he loves the Lord. Naw, it must be because he wants to play "look at me!" and show off what a holy Christian he is. In Son's eyes, Hubby is an awful person (Son actually used the words, "you're an awful person") for being a Christian rather than a secular humanist who denies the existence of God.

So is any of the above virtue signaling?

And is simply not responding to these hateful emails the best course of action?

Virtue signaling is apparently all about ME. If, OTOH, our actions are motivated by a desire to point to GOD, away from me or anthing else and to something better than and superior to all the rest, then that would most definitely not be virtue signalling.

 

[ozso]

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

To me it is not virtue signalling, why hide that we are christian, why hide if we do good around us? Jesus did say;

Mat 5:14 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.

Mat 5:15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a basket. Instead, they set it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

Mat 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

I know son needs to cool off, he needs a lesson in how to respect others and his father. did son ever believe at one point when he was younger? if so what happened for him to lose faith?

Unknown. We married when Son was in his low 20s. He’s in his high 30s now. He went to church with us once during a visit, early in our marriage, and didn’t object. Over the years he’s gotten more outspoken and more volatile about it. If Son merely didn’t believe and didn’t want to discuss it, they could get along, but Son keeps trying to pick fights about it. Apparently he takes that cross emoji as “shoving it down his throat,” although it’s not meant that way.

Hubby says Son is acting just like his mother. She, by the way, according to Hubby tricked him into marrying her by pretending to be a Christian, knowing he wouldn’t have married a non-Christian willingly.

After they were married, he only saw her inside a church twice. Once was to see her aunt sing in the choir. The other time… was their wedding.

She wanted to give her parents grandchildren, that’s all. They were married for 15 years. He didn’t make the decision lightly to end it.

 

[Elizabeth35]

That's not virtue signaling at all. Virtue signaling is jumping on the bandwagon for whatever crisis is currently popular and pretending to actually care. For example, someone changes their facebook profile picture with a country's flag for a war that's going on. But do they pray? Are they actively pursuing truth and helping those in need? No. But the picture makes it look like they care.

If your husband is truly living for God, and it sounds like he is, then having a cross emoji beside his email signature is definitely NOT virtue signaling.

What a tough situation. I'm sorry your family is going through this.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Thank you everyone for your responses and support so far. I think in Son’s opinion, all Christian activity is virtue signaling, since he believes we’re doing it only to announce to the world how holy and righteous we are.

 

[Michie]

I just would not reply to any rabid emails anymore. It’s just feeding it. He sounds irrational imo.

 

[timf]

So is any of the above virtue signaling?

I see the definition of "virtue signaling" as posturing for an audience. Many Christians do this. However, to accuse someone of this is to make a conclusion of motive. This is difficult to do unless one is simply speculating or knows them well enough to conclude this.

The advancing militancy of the step son would indicate a feeling of betrayal and abuse when looking in the rear view mirror of his life. Satan is said to blind the minds of the lost.

2Co 2:16 To the one we are the savour of death unto death; and to the other the savour of life unto life. And who is sufficient for these things?

You may find your step son becoming even more belligerent because once someone is disconnected from truth, they often see how they feel as truth. This short blog article describes how this can happen.

Christian Pioneer - Why Liberals Lie

Christian Pioneer - Why Liberals Lie

christianpioneer.com

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Interestingly, I did my own small bit of internet research on virtue signaling. Originally it was a slur by conservatives to call out liberals who (supposedly, not my words) make believe they care about some social issue but are in fact doing nothing concrete about it. The wealthy actor, for example, who wins an award and, during his acceptance speech, makes an impassioned plea for the cause of helping the homeless. Then he goes home to his heavily gated, well secured mansion, with his many servants making his daily life easy for him, never donating dollar one to the cause he claims to care about. That's virtue signaling, and it was originally a conservative slur for liberals.

Funny that my ultra-liberal stepson, who believes all amenities and comforts should be free to anyone who wants them, and no one should have to work for a living, would now use it against my husband, who is sometimes farther right-wing than I'm comfortable with myself.