What does the Bible say about non-sexual cohabitation?

[tarepanda]

My boyfriend and I are thinking about moving in together for financial reasons and also because we have very similar values when it comes to life styles and all around cleanliness. We are not sexually active, and we do not intend to become so until after marriage, regardless of living situations.

So my question is, what does the Bible say specifically about non-sexual cohabitation? I have read several verses that mention sexual immorality between unmarried couples, but I have yet to find a clear and definitive answer about non-sexual cohabitation.

Your help is greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

 

[Zecryphon]

My boyfriend and I are thinking about moving in together for financial reasons and also because we have very similar values when it comes to life styles and all around cleanliness. We are not sexually active, and we do not intend to become so until after marriage, regardless of living situations.

So my question is, what does the Bible say specifically about non-sexual cohabitation? I have read several verses that mention sexual immorality between unmarried couples, but I have yet to find a clear and definitive answer about non-sexual cohabitation.

Your help is greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

I don't recall any verses off the top of my head that directly address this issue. I do know that cohabitation of any kind before marriage is strongly discouraged because the temptation to have sex of any kind, is just too great. What you'd basically be doing in my opinion, is introducing a stronger temptation into the relationship that does not need to be there. I'm fairly certain that you two have, from what you've said here, abstained from all forms of sex and I commend you for that. It is not easy. I couldn't do it when I was in the dating scene before marriage. As tempted as you may be now to have sex, it will be 10x more intense if you live together and your bedrooms are just down the hall from each other, plus there's alot of unforeseen situations that could arise while showering or getting dressed.

I would say spend the extra money on two apartments to stay chaste and live a life that is pleasing to God. Now if having two apartments causes you to go into debt, that's not good stewardship and bad stewardship does not honor God. The only other advice I can give you is to pray about it, I'm sure you have been, keep doing that, and talk to your pastor about it. As my former pastor used to say, if you are engaged and absolutely can not keep your thoughts pure and your hands to yourselves, you can always change the wedding date. LOL It's a questionable scenario and my rule is if it's questionable, it's best avoided.

 

[jive4005]

Beloved... simply NOT a good idea.

If you want scriptures, read thru the Proverbs.
There are many touching upon adjacent issues that will show you the folly and DANGER in these kinds of living arrangements.

I pray you find the strength to trust God in hard times.

His,
Rev J

 

[firechild]

Hi! I'm so glad you asked about this, because I have often been criticized for my decision to live with my Fiance before marriage.

We are not sexually active. There is a temptation, but it is not even close to unbearable strong. Perhaps i'm not the norm in that senario, as sex has never been the number one thing on my mind, but I don't think living with someone, if you both have the convictions to wait, will necessarily cause you to become unchaste. it's quite the thing to think about, but I wanted you to know that it's possible to stay pure and live with your boyfriend.

Many people will tell you that even if you aren't technically "living in sin" the bible says to avoid the appearance of sin. I think about this one a lot. Everyone assumes that my Fiance and I are sexually active, and I tell them otherwise. I'm not even certain that my Christian friends or my parents believe me. While it is most important what your actual actions are, and what is in your heart, and what God is calling you to do, it's also important to show an example of a good Chrisitian to the world.

If the world could believe more strongly that Christians think it is just as wrong to lie as it is to have sex before marriage, maybe they'd have an easier time believing me. Or maybe it's just that it's so acceptable these days, even among many more liberal Christians. I find myself questioning my decision based on what the world thinks, but not on the true morality of it. I worry about the appearance of unchastity, and I'm not truly sure how important that should be in this senario.

I moved in with my boyfriend when I was 19. We hadn't been going out very long at all, but we both needed somewhere to live, and couldn't afford our own apartments. It was also apparent from the outset that we loved each other and would always be together, and indeed, we're getting married in May.

I couldn't live with my parents any longer, and as someone with a serious life-long illness, I needed to live with someone I could rely on and who would understand me. All my friends were away at school and I cannot safely live by myself. My fiance is the most caring and understanding and gentle person I have ever met. And while chastity is sometimes difficult, living with someone you love is so beautiful and amazing that, at least for me, it makes getting through the temptation that much easier.

God Bless.
FC

 

[nire4Jesus]

Well, if you are not sexually active, then I can't think of any specific verses in the Bible. However, you are putting yourself in a dangerous situation. It will be MUCH easier to "get caught up" and make a mistake that will lead to sin if you are living together. Plus, it just looks bad. It looks like you're sleeping together w/o being married. People will assume that even though it's NONE of their business. If you are in leadership of the church or something like that, you will lose all credibility...

Kudos to you for not sleeping together before marriage...I was not as strong, and I regret that to this day...

 

[RenaeN]

As has been said before, there are no verses (that I have come across) that specifically mention this.

I am not going to say that the temptation will not be strong, that temptation is always there. I know what it is like to know that you won't before marriage, because I am in that boat. I want too, but I refuse too, as does my fiance.

I will be praying for you, talk to someone that you trust and above all talk to God and do not make a hasty decision.

*hugs*
God Bless,
Renae

 

[jive4005]

Well, if you are not sexually active, then I can't think of any specific verses in the Bible. However, you are putting yourself in a dangerous situation. It will be MUCH easier to "get caught up" and make a mistake that will lead to sin if you are living together. Plus, it just looks bad. It looks like you're sleeping together w/o being married. People will assume that even though it's NONE of their business. If you are in leadership of the church or something like that, you will lose all credibility...

Kudos to you for not sleeping together before marriage...I was not as strong, and I regret that to this day...

what SHE said!!!

Rev

 

[rocklife]

nothing specific, but there is a verse about christians should not give an appearance of evil, and moving in with boyfriend has that appearance.

don't let money guide you, let God guide you.

 

[Svt4Him]

The Bible says if you decide to play with fire, you will get burnt. It also says to avoid appearances of evil and flee sexual temptation. If you can do that while living with a guy good on you, but can he?

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

What about getting a same sex roommate for financial reasons? Or having a third person to move in and serve as a chaperone?

I'll come out with it, since not to do so smacks of dishonesty. I am living with my fiancé for financial reasons. I cannot do otherwise. I am disabled and barely subsist on SSI, and he rescued me from dangerous and unhealthy public housing. Before I moved into that public housing, I was in a homeless shelter. I would not be able to support myself without him, and I thank God he wanted to take me in.

But there is a third person--his cousin. Three people living in four bedrooms, leaving one still empty. Plenty of room. My daughter has been invited to join us, but so far she has turned it down. Of course, it would mean a major move on her part since she is several states away.

Naturally, when we marry, propriety will not be an issue. What are we waiting for? Sentiment... we want to marry on a specific date for personal history reasons.

 

[ozell]

My boyfriend and I are thinking about moving in together for financial reasons and also because we have very similar values when it comes to life styles and all around cleanliness. We are not sexually active, and we do not intend to become so until after marriage, regardless of living situations.

So my question is, what does the Bible say specifically about non-sexual cohabitation? I have read several verses that mention sexual immorality between unmarried couples, but I have yet to find a clear and definitive answer about non-sexual cohabitation.

Your help is greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

1Cor7v1: Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2: Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3: Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4: The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5: Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6: But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7: For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8: I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
9: But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.


If you have the gift to contain your desire then do as yuo wish, but when the time comes for desire then marry

Go and read in Genesis where Jacob worked 14 years for Rachel, he had love for this woman yet he touched her not until he fulfilled his oath, once the oath was finished they laid together and she became his wife as was Leah she and Jacob laid together.

when a man lay with a woman this is a marraige according to the bible. not the ceremony

 

[cyberlizard]

for OP - how about the scripture, "not even giving the appearance of evil"