I've never shared this with anyone so I'll do it now. I had a vasectomy two years ago--it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. First problem, I didn't consult with a priest before I did it--I consulted the internet because that was "easier" to do and I found a wealth of information "justifying" a vasectomy for the reason I was doing it.
My wife had two rough pregnancies. My son had major surgery within his first year of life and my daughter spent her first 10 days in ICU because her lungs weren't developed and couldn't breath on her own. They both have serious food allergies that could kill them if the wrong food is ingested. My boy is allergic to peanuts and my wife is allergic to eggs. Neither of us smoked, used drugs, etc. or have a history of food allergies. Both my son and I receive allergy shots for environmental allergies.
After my daughter was born, my wife's OB told her that she NOT have any more children because of these complications. He told her that another baby would not be healthy for her and he was concerned for a future child. He recommended she get her tubes tied. I believe that he was honestly concerned about all of this.
So I took up research and after reading, I was convinced that for legitimate health reasons, this would be okay. I wasn't rejecting the Church's teachings. I also knew that having tubes tied on a woman was tough on them afterwards so I researched a vasectomy. I stepped forward and told my wife I would get a vasectomy so she wouldn't have to go through anything.
I honestly felt I was doing the right thing and was okay with this. So I got it done (it'll be two years ago this coming May). After I got it done, I started to feel guilty. And I read more and more and more. I was starting to feel what I had done was a sin because I what I had done doubted God's power to take care of us. I had mutilated my body.
About six months to a year after I had the vasectomy, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my sin. I went to Confession. It's one of two times I've broke down and cried in the confessional. I was scared that I would be judged harshly by the priest, God wouldn't forgive me, etc.
I was reminded that I was a layman and not a theologian and I should've consulted a priest first. I was reminded that a doctor is not a priest. I made an Act of Contrition, was given penance (which I promptly and prayerfully did) and was absolved of my sins. Reversals are expensive and the priest knew that. If someday I could ever afford one, he said I could check into it but that it's not necessary to get one. I had repented and was sincerely sorry.
My son is approaching six and my daughter is 2+. I really miss the days when my son was a baby and toddler. I honestly long for another child. I'm missing out because I doubted God. However, a vasectomy is only 99% effective. As small as a 1% chance sounds, with God, nothing is impossible.
