Trying to find a Christian wife

[drummingman]

I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place, but here it goes. I'm a 40 year old guy that is really trying to find the right woman for me. I'm not your typical 9 to 5 kind of guy. My passion is playing music for a living (metal) and I'm always working towards that goal to where I can tour and record full time for a living. I do currently have a good paying day job. But it is a means to an end and not an end in and of itself. I'm also a big horror movie fan and I love being out in nature (this is starting to sound like a dating profile!)

I've always been shy with women and asking them out has always been a real challenge for me. I've been single the majority of my life because of this. And honestly for some odd reason when ever I'm attracted to a woman its like a repellent to them. That drives me nuts! And its been that way my whole life.

I am looking in the age groups of 18 to 40. I usually am attracted to women who are younger then me. I actually look like I'm about 30 tops which helps!

Before someone says "man, 18, 19, 20ish, that's really young for you being 40" I will say I disagree. My frame of reference has always been different from most because of my parents relationship. My dad was 34 and my mom was 18 when they started dating. They were married for almost 40 years until my dad passed away. So I know the age difference is no big deal if the 2 people really connect with each other.

I'm not a bad looking guy (got some extra pounds but im not super over weight). I have a great sense of humor (albeit it is unique and very goofy most times lol). So I don't know why its been so hard for me to find the right woman.

I'm looking for a woman who is a devout Christian like myself and who I have things in common with who really gets me as a person. Its just finding her and actually being able to have her be as interested in me as I am in her that is the hard part.

As I get older this bums me out more and more. So I'd really like to get this area of my life together and meet someone special.

Anyone have any thoughts?

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

This aint christianmingle thats for sure.

 

[timewerx]

As I get older this bums me out more and more. So I'd really like to get this area of my life together and meet someone special.

Anyone have any thoughts?

Your life is already complete (altogether just fine) as single.

God won't think of you any less if you died an old man and never married, never got kids.

The world might think you're a loser but it's not the world we are trying to please as Christians -- John 15:19, Luke 6:22

Getting married is just another choice like being single. Both are good choices in their own purposes. It's only the world who tries to paint some meaning to it and makes one look ugly but it's not the world that we should be listening to.
.
.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Your life is already complete (altogether just fine) as single.

God won't think of you any less if you died an old man and never married, never got kids.

The world might think you're a loser but it's not the world we are trying to please as Christians -- John 15:19, Luke 6:22

So you're willing to go all the way, dying a single man?

 

[Reformed2]

Being single is a gift, focus on Christ and everything will fall in place. Spiritually it is most likely better to be alone anyway.

"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need". Like 12:31

 

[timewerx]

So you're willing to go all the way, dying a single man?

Not by choice but if life takes me down that path, I'll accept that fate and try to make the most of it.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Not by choice but if life takes me down that path, I'll accept that fate and try to make the most of it.

I think you will find someone eventually man, you definitely have a way better chance than me at least.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

I have a great sense of humor

red flag, someone who thinks they are funny.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

My passion is playing music for a living (metal)

I thought fighting women off would be more of a problem than finding one. A guy like yourself in a rock band, I mean.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I thought fighting women off would be more of a problem than finding one. A guy like yourself in a rock band, I mean.

True hollywood story:Shy rockers. Thats right. They exist, and women avoid them like the plague.

 

[drummingman]

God did say its not good for man to be alone as well. I want to find a wife, but, I don't want kids.

Yeah, when it comes to women I'm a shy rocker lol!

And hey, my mom thinks I'm funny lol! But maybe she is just crazy like I am because she raised me!

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

And hey, my mom thinks I'm funny lol! But maybe she is just crazy like I am because she raised me!

Momma knows best, except that one time when she yelled really loudly at me for not taking out the trash No momma definitely don't know best, she only knows how to give me a headache

 

[timewerx]

I think you will find someone eventually man, you definitely have a way better chance than me at least.

Yep, eventually, like in couple years maybe, I'd be at least 40 then. Right now, I don't make much money, I just started on a job, couldn't afford a decent apartment yet and a car. At 35, rebooting on life, it's not good for women.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

At 35

You mean 25.

 

[timewerx]

You mean 25.

I wish but no it can't be faked.

 

[timewerx]

God did say its not good for man to be alone as well. I want to find a wife, but, I don't want kids.

That's because Adam is literally alone. Probably the only human being on Earth at that time.

If we read the rest of the Bible, we will realize that having someone to be married with is not really important. We find that that many men and women of God in the Bible chose to be single.

Marriage does not make a person complete...It is God who makes a person complete and nothing else.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

My younger bro is 56, never married. Had plenty of galfriends but bailed out, when they got serious about marriage. A lot of the reason is he is very fussy and they "must" be Christian. I think the "must be Christian" criteria might be the problem actually.

 

[timewerx]

A lot of the reason is he is very fussy and they "must" be Christian. I think the "must be Christian" criteria might be the problem actually.

It is a problem to me. I was being matched to a lady who is very active in the church, parents are missionaries and looking for deeply Christian guys and decided to drop it.

I have issues with having strong attachment to religious dogmas.

I have been a Christian for over 20 years in different flavors and I only found one thing consistent - inconsistencies and contradictions. If you accept one thing to be the truth unconditionally, you may be inevitably accepting a lie. So I'd rather keep seeking the truth than settling on what I believe is the truth.

And if there's something I don't agree with, not even the threat of hell would change my mind. So this is going to be a problem with a highly religious Christian partner. This is why I sometimes would rather go with an Atheist or at least a Christian is not bothered of my religious views.

 

[Radrook]

I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place, but here it goes. I'm a 40 year old guy that is really trying to find the right woman for me. I'm not your typical 9 to 5 kind of guy. My passion is playing music for a living (metal) and I'm always working towards that goal to where I can tour and record full time for a living. I do currently have a good paying day job. But it is a means to an end and not an end in and of itself. I'm also a big horror movie fan and I love being out in nature (this is starting to sound like a dating profile!)

I've always been shy with women and asking them out has always been a real challenge for me. I've been single the majority of my life because of this. And honestly for some odd reason when ever I'm attracted to a woman its like a repellent to them. That drives me nuts! And its been that way my whole life.

I am looking in the age groups of 18 to 40. I usually am attracted to women who are younger then me. I actually look like I'm about 30 tops which helps!

Before someone says "man, 18, 19, 20ish, that's really young for you being 40" I will say I disagree. My frame of reference has always been different from most because of my parents relationship. My dad was 34 and my mom was 18 when they started dating. They were married for almost 40 years until my dad passed away. So I know the age difference is no big deal if the 2 people really connect with each other.

I'm not a bad looking guy (got some extra pounds but im not super over weight). I have a great sense of humor (albeit it is unique and very goofy most times lol). So I don't know why its been so hard for me to find the right woman.

I'm looking for a woman who is a devout Christian like myself and who I have things in common with who really gets me as a person. Its just finding her and actually being able to have her be as interested in me as I am in her that is the hard part.

As I get older this bums me out more and more. So I'd really like to get this area of my life together and meet someone special.

Anyone have any thoughts?

Please note that most of us men are attracted to women who are younger than us until the day we die. The younger we pick them, however, after a certain age, the less chance we have of success since they start seeing us as father figures unless extreme wealth compensates. Ever see Boardwalk Empire where the women are all fawning over this older dude because he had money coming out of his ears? That's the way it usually goes for older guys seeking much younger women with very few exceptions.

In short, the tendency is to go for the young, but the practical thing is to set our sight on women who aren't vastly younger. That will make finding happiness much easier and prevent us from squandering the little youth we have seeking to accomplish the far more difficult and maybe winding up with nothing at all.

Also, there are things which are far more valuable than physical beauty.

Proverbs 31:30 ESV
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

It is a problem to me. I was being matched to a lady who is very active in the church, parents are missionaries and looking for deeply Christian guys and decided to drop it.

I have issues with having strong attachment to religious dogmas.

I have been a Christian for over 20 years in different flavors and I only found one thing consistent - inconsistencies and contradictions. If you accept one thing to be the truth unconditionally, you may be inevitably accepting a lie. So I'd rather keep seeking the truth than settling on what I believe is the truth.

And if there's something I don't agree with, not even the threat of hell would change my mind. So this is going to be a problem with a highly religious Christian partner. This is why I sometimes would rather go with an Atheist or at least a Christian is not bothered of my religious views.

so in your case, you might need to widen your horizon for the possibility of a serious Christian. Just making conversation here.