Struggling to Leave an ELCA Church I'm Attached To

[prayncrochet]

Hello! I hope someone here can relate to my situation and provide some insight. I had a "born-again" experience in the 70s and had attended various evangelical churches over the years but often felt something was missing. In '08 I tried a Lutheran church and felt I was home. It happened to be an ELCA church, and at the time I was totally unaware of the differences between Lutheran churches. By the time this became more clear, I was in love with this particular church. Once I was there about a year came a vote whether to leave the ELCA, which was close but they stayed in, and several good people left as a result. I did too, but since '09 I've tried other area liturgical churches and keep returning to the ELCA church I'm a member of. I feel like a hypocrite since there is SO much in the ELCA I disagree with, but I just have not found a more conservative Lutheran church I like as much as this one or that's within a reasonable enough distance to be involved the way I'd want to. There is one ELS church in my town and no LCMS. The one ELS church, I tried several years ago, tried SO hard to like, but the people were aloof, the sermons left me cold, the music was dirges, and they only do communion twice a month (my church does it weekly). The closest LCMS church is 11 miles away which isn't bad but it's VERY tiny with no choir (I like to sing) and also only has communion twice a month. Another LCMS church is larger but 18 miles away and requires highway driving that I don't feel too comfortable doing. Then there is an LCMC church that's very active and the pastor is fantastic (his sermons are on the site) and has weekly communion but it's 23 miles away and also requires highway driving. So hopefully you can see what a dilemma this is for me -- if I do leave my church (which I do still feel attached to despite the doctrinal woes), where do I go?? Sorry this was so long. Would appreciate any thoughts. Terese

 

[LizaMarie]

No advice but let me just say I feel ya.
I, too, recommitted my life to Christ in a non denominational church attended a few years and went back to the Lutheran faith of my childhood because I felt what was missing was the sacraments rightly administered and I wanted more connection with historic ancient Christianity even though I loved the preaching at the non denominational. I found an ELCA right around the corner and fell in love with the church, communion weekly, the belief in the Real Presence, and the older male pastor was conservative.
I left that church due to a move out of state, and found another ELCA church. Then got married and moved again, and my dh and I decided on WELS due to the by then extreme leftward leanings of the ELCA. Abortion for one. And a couple other doctrinal issues.
I was raised LCMS.
No LCMS churches within 45 minutes of where we live.
But I really loved the liturgy, weekly communion, ect of the ELCA churches.
It's a tough one, I know. It's hard. Maybe prayer as to where God wants you?
My elderly mother and brother, who was living with her and taking care of her, were both members of an ELCA church. They finally left and joined an LCMS due to doctrine, as well.

 

[prayncrochet]

No advice but let me just say I feel ya.
I, too, recommitted my life to Christ in a non denominational church attended a few years and went back to the Lutheran faith of my childhood because I felt what was missing was the sacraments rightly administered and I wanted more connection with historic ancient Christianity even though I loved the preaching at the non denominational. I found an ELCA right around the corner and fell in love with the church, communion weekly, the belief in the Real Presence, and the older male pastor was conservative.
I left that church due to a move out of state, and found another ELCA church. Then got married and moved again, and my dh and I decided on WELS due to the by then extreme leftward leanings of the ELCA. Abortion for one. And a couple other doctrinal issues.
I was raised LCMS.
No LCMS churches within 45 minutes of where we live.
But I really loved the liturgy, weekly communion, ect of the ELCA churches.
It's a tough one, I know. It's hard. Maybe prayer as to where God wants you?
My elderly mother and brother, who was living with her and taking care of her, were both members of an ELCA church. They finally left and joined an LCMS due to doctrine, as well.

LizaMarie - Thanks for sharing. I thought no one was going to reply to my post! Well, what I did this past Sunday was -- I needed a few things at the store and because the ELS church was convenient to get to from there, and I hadn't visited there for years, and I met a sweet lady on Facebook who used to attend my current church, left the area but attends a WELS in her area and convinced me to try again, AND they since got a second pastor I had not met, I thought I should try it once more, so I did. Turns out the pastor I hadn't met yet was out sick! And the other pastor actually recognized me though I had not visited for years, and he is a good man, no doubt about that. But my verdict is unchanged, and nothing against the ELS/WELS in general, but this particular church is NOT for me. So the dilemma remains of having to travel out of town to attend a non-ELCA Lutheran church, since this ELS is the only one in my town. So next Sunday I will revisit the very small LCMS church 11 miles away, since my heart is still with the LCMS. If that doesn't work out either, I don't think I'll have a choice but to stay at the church I've enjoyed all these years and try to forget that it's ELCA. The other choices are just too far away for me to be able to get involved to the degree that I want to. So I feel I'm closer to a decision than when I fiest posted this, albeit not an ideal decision. But I just can't continue sitting on the fence. Been doing that WAY too long. God bless, and good to meet you. Terese

 

[LizaMarie]

I know what you mean. The closest LCMS church for me is 45 minutes away.
Actually I have been studying Eastern Orthodoxy but that's another thread.
Would one option for you be a conservative Anglican church?
Admittedly those are very few and far between.
Is the Pastor of your church conservative?
I do know a lot of people are in your position.
Some decide to stay and try to turn the ship around. I don't know if the ELCA is too far gone for that.
I believe I have read that one mainline denomination(United Methodist) is becoming a bit more conservative?

 

[prayncrochet]

There is no Anglican church in my area. There is one Episcopal church, but what I've heard about the Episcopal church in recent years, they have gotten about as liberal as the ELCA.

My current church got a new pastor 2-1/2 years ago. He's a nice enough person, very musically gifted, but more attuned to the ELCA than our former pastor, who I do miss. Plus I still feel I got off on the wrong foot with him when he first came and I had a counseling session with him and mentioned how I feel about the ELCA, though he may have long forgotten about it...

And we have two Methodist churches in town. The one I don't care for at all; the other one I did attend for some time and do like it (almost joined it several years ago) but I've heard a LOT of mixed info about the UMC - on one hand, they are officially still pro-life and anti-gay clergy, etc., yet I've also read this could change at any time and that many UMC church members want this change. So I decided against going back there and having the same thing happen as with the ELCA. And that's why I feel at this point that my only remaining choices are switching to the very tiny LCMS church or staying put (or becoming Catholic, which I honestly have also considered, but just have too many issues with RC doctrine I haven't been able to reconcile)....

 

[LizaMarie]

I was strongly considering the RC now looking at Eastern Orthodoxy, it would take a long post to explain.

 

[Newtheran]

H The closest LCMS church is 11 miles away which isn't bad but it's VERY tiny with no choir (I like to sing) and also only has communion twice a month. Another LCMS church is larger but 18 miles away and requires highway driving that I don't feel too comfortable doing. Then there is an LCMC church that's very active and the pastor is fantastic (his sermons are on the site) and has weekly communion but it's 23 miles away and also requires highway driving. So hopefully you can see what a dilemma this is for me -- if I do leave my church (which I do still feel attached to despite the doctrinal woes), where do I go?? Sorry this was so long. Would appreciate any thoughts. Terese

Just a couple of thoughts...could you start a choir at the one 11 miles away? With regards to the one 18 or 23 miles away, are there are any parishoners who live near you that you could ride with? If I had someone living nearby who wanted to go to our church I'd be happy to give them a ride.