In Bible college when one of the guys would fall asleep in class, one of us would nudge him and whisper, "He called on you to pray!" And the guy, half asleep, would jump to his feet and begin praying in class. ROFL.
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Share a Christian story/anecdote that's funny (at least to you) ;)
- Thread starter drjean
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- Jun 13, 2002
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One time during a sermon the visiting missionary was talking about when Yeshua and his disciples were in the garden and the Roman soldiers came to get Yeshua. The minister was speaking with ferver and instead of saying that Peter jumped up and cut a soldiers ear off he said, "he jumped up and cut his Peter off". Of course the congregation lost it. Nobody will forget that sermon. Fortunately even the missionary had a sense of humor.
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- Jul 10, 2016
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LOL
There is a story of a young minister (I think it could have been Peter Marshall???) who nervously preached about Samson...but he was so concerned not to say 'a * * ' as his Bible had it written... in his attempt to avoid misspeaking and offending... he made it worse and said, " And Samson grabbed the jawbone of a donkey and slew a 1000 ' es'. " True story rofl.
There is a story of a young minister (I think it could have been Peter Marshall???) who nervously preached about Samson...but he was so concerned not to say 'a * * ' as his Bible had it written... in his attempt to avoid misspeaking and offending... he made it worse and said, " And Samson grabbed the jawbone of a donkey and slew a 1000 ' es'. " True story rofl.
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- Jun 13, 2002
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It's a proper word. LOL I had an aquaintence give me a Bible from the 1700's and I was showing it to my aunt. She was browsing through the pages and she started reading one of the Psalms (I think that's where it was). Anyway she was reading and she said the F word. I looked at her stunned and said, "what did you say?" She repeated it. I said, "It says that?" She said "yes". I went over and looked at it and sure enough, it had the "F" word...in the Bible.
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- Apr 17, 2017
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Not my story, but pretty funny.
“One of my most embarrassing ministry moments happened in college. Our Christian Student Group on campus had a ‘big brother/big sister’ type of mentoring group on campus where two older students (a guy and a girl) would ‘adopt’ a class of freshman students and mentor them the first semester. We were to encourage them, pray for them, and get to know them as they adjusted to life in college and being away from home for the first time.
About two weeks into the semester, I noticed one of our freshman girls walking across campus and, even from a distance, she looked sad.
I walked over to her and greeted her with a warm smile and a very friendly greeting, asking her how she was and how things were going for her so far at college. She looked up at me and with innocence and worry said, ‘Things aren’t going so well. I’m having male problems.’
Unbeknownst to me, one of the other freshmen guys on campus had become attracted to her and was trying to convince her to go on a date with him. She had no interest, though.
Now, when I heard her say this sentence, I was unaware of her battles with this ‘creeper’ guy. I was merely trying to cheer her up.
What she had told me and what I heard wasn’t the same thing…
I heard. ‘Things aren’t going so well. I’m having MAIL problems.’ I thought that she may be having trouble with the combination to her mailbox or her family hadn’t sent her any letters or packages yet.
So, I did what any good ‘big brother’ would do. I put my arm around her, gave her a friendly (and innocent) side hug and said, ‘Don’t you worry. This happens to EVERY student when they move in on campus. I was here two weeks my freshman year before I GOT ANYTHING. If you want, I can help you out.’
She took a step away from me; her face dropped to the ground and her eyes got as big as saucers.
It was THEN that I fully understood exactly what kind of problems she was having. ‘OH…. M-A-L-E problems,’ I shouted. I was mortified and embarrassed beyond description.
We still laugh about that to this day. Hilarious now, but mortifying back in college.”
“One of my most embarrassing ministry moments happened in college. Our Christian Student Group on campus had a ‘big brother/big sister’ type of mentoring group on campus where two older students (a guy and a girl) would ‘adopt’ a class of freshman students and mentor them the first semester. We were to encourage them, pray for them, and get to know them as they adjusted to life in college and being away from home for the first time.
About two weeks into the semester, I noticed one of our freshman girls walking across campus and, even from a distance, she looked sad.
I walked over to her and greeted her with a warm smile and a very friendly greeting, asking her how she was and how things were going for her so far at college. She looked up at me and with innocence and worry said, ‘Things aren’t going so well. I’m having male problems.’
Unbeknownst to me, one of the other freshmen guys on campus had become attracted to her and was trying to convince her to go on a date with him. She had no interest, though.
Now, when I heard her say this sentence, I was unaware of her battles with this ‘creeper’ guy. I was merely trying to cheer her up.
What she had told me and what I heard wasn’t the same thing…
I heard. ‘Things aren’t going so well. I’m having MAIL problems.’ I thought that she may be having trouble with the combination to her mailbox or her family hadn’t sent her any letters or packages yet.
So, I did what any good ‘big brother’ would do. I put my arm around her, gave her a friendly (and innocent) side hug and said, ‘Don’t you worry. This happens to EVERY student when they move in on campus. I was here two weeks my freshman year before I GOT ANYTHING. If you want, I can help you out.’
She took a step away from me; her face dropped to the ground and her eyes got as big as saucers.
It was THEN that I fully understood exactly what kind of problems she was having. ‘OH…. M-A-L-E problems,’ I shouted. I was mortified and embarrassed beyond description.
We still laugh about that to this day. Hilarious now, but mortifying back in college.”
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- Dec 22, 2017
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Maybe true, maybe not, but I saw this in the Jokes section of this site, and I love sharing it.
So this Sunday school teacher was talking to her first-grade class. She asked them, "Where is God?"
Several students raise their hands. The first one says, "God is everywhere!'
"Yes, that's very good!" she replies. She calls on the next kid.
"God is inside me!" he says.
"Yes, very good!" Still one kid has his hand up.
"God is in my bathroom!"
Very confused, she asks, "Um, how do you know God's in your bathroom?"
"My dad says it! Every morning, he walks down the hall, knocks on the bathroom door, and yells out, 'My God, are you still in there?!?!?!"
So this Sunday school teacher was talking to her first-grade class. She asked them, "Where is God?"
Several students raise their hands. The first one says, "God is everywhere!'
"Yes, that's very good!" she replies. She calls on the next kid.
"God is inside me!" he says.
"Yes, very good!" Still one kid has his hand up.
"God is in my bathroom!"
Very confused, she asks, "Um, how do you know God's in your bathroom?"
"My dad says it! Every morning, he walks down the hall, knocks on the bathroom door, and yells out, 'My God, are you still in there?!?!?!"
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As a new Christian I was learning the ropes as a helper at the church VBS. The theme was Get On Board the Jesus Train (or something like that) and the older youth had made cardboard "cars" for the children to carry and 'ride' in. Each morning they would line the children up outside for the opening program. About 30 minutes before the opening, it began raining and ruined the 'train cars'.
The pastor came out right then and the youth told him about the problem and asked what to do. The pastor replied Romans 8:28. Not knowing what that verse was they asked ... and he replied, it means when your choo choo gets wet, build another one.
The pastor came out right then and the youth told him about the problem and asked what to do. The pastor replied Romans 8:28. Not knowing what that verse was they asked ... and he replied, it means when your choo choo gets wet, build another one.
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- May 5, 2007
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I think this comes from a book called "Rolling in the Aisles", and goes something like:
A Christian couple invited a new couple to dinner one evening. It was a family occasion so the hosts' children were present. The hostess asked her young son to say Grace. He didn't know what she meant, so she said "Just say what Daddy said before breakfast this morning". So the little boy said "Oh God, those awful people are coming to dinner tonight."
A Christian couple invited a new couple to dinner one evening. It was a family occasion so the hosts' children were present. The hostess asked her young son to say Grace. He didn't know what she meant, so she said "Just say what Daddy said before breakfast this morning". So the little boy said "Oh God, those awful people are coming to dinner tonight."
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