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Self pleasure out of boredom a sin?

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Danielof the Island

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I have a question that I'd like a serious, direct answer to.


I live a very boring life. It's not bad, and I have lots of friends, but my social life is literally non-existant.


As a result, I sometimes find myself self pleasuring when I am incredibly bored just so I have something fun to do.


The thing is, it's not pleasurable, if you'll believe that. I don't know how to explain it, but it just takes that terrible boredom away, if that makes sense.


I don't have sexual struggles of any kind. My only question is... is it a sin if I do it for the above reasons? I'd prefer simple yes/no answers, if you will.


Thanks for your input!
 

gengwall

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Well, I can not claim ultimate authority to say, "here is the truth". What I can do is tell you what I believe is the truth.

A little history. I was caught in a cycle of pornography and frequent (more than once a day for long periods of time) masturbation for almost all my life since I was very first able to ave [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. So, I am very cautious about masturbation based on this history.

OK - first, the bible is moot regarding masturbation. THere are only two passages that might possibly infer it. Neither includes any kind of admonission against the act per se. So, simply put, the bible nowhere says that masturbation is wrong.

Also on the positive side, there have been some studies that show that frequent [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] for men helps reduce the risk of prostate cancer and other male plumbing problems. Men go through cycles of seminal buildup that it is healthy to relieve. Of course, this shouldn't be a problem for married men as that is part of the purpose for sex in marriage. But for single men, there are far fewer options. Even themarriagebed.com suggests that masturbation may be one method that God has provided to maintain "good plumbing". But, there is a caveat...

Sexual fantasy, which almost invariably accompanies masturbation, is clearly wrong. If you are not married, it is fornication and if you are married it is adultary unless it is about your wife, and even then, only under specific circumstances. So, if your masturbation includes sexual fantasizing as part of the process to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] you are sinning (although not because of the masturbation).

Also, it is important to know that, especially in males, masturbation can become addicting. This has more to do with bio-chemistry than with plumbing. Basically, the same kind of chemical and hormonal reactions that you get when doing drugs or other addicting actions occur during [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. (Incidentally, this is why pronography, especially in men, is also very addicting). So, are you an addict? All of the same kinds of questions that one asks to see if they are an addict can apply to masturbation as well. Do you think about it incesently? Do you avoid higher priorities and responsibilities in order to make time for it? Do you crave it? I am not suggesting you are addicted to it, simply that it would be wise to make sure you aren't. If addiction to masturbation is a potential or real problem, you will need to find other outlets for your bordom.

And finally, frequent masturbation inside of marriage can be an intimacy killer. It can lower your desire for your wife and reduce your libido. Again, themarriagebed.com page on masturbation has a lot more about this. So, if you are married (I am guessing you are not), masturbation, if practiced at all, should only be done under extraordinary circumstances. And, it should be done with the full knowledge and consent of your wife. Your body is not your own. It's primary sexual function is to meet her intimacy needs, not your own. If married men find they are hiding their sexual activities from their wives, they are engaging in adulterous behavior.

For singles, all of the above needs to be considered if marriage is something in their future. Any sexual experience (masturbation is a sexual experience even without sexual fantasy) we bring into the marriage is baggage that needs to be left behind. Intimacy in marriage is something that needs to be worked out and developed between husband and wife without regard for any previous experience that might hinder the mutual need meeting that intimacy accomplishes. Put bluntly, masturbating because you are bored inside of the marriage is unacceptable. So, the old reasons simply can't be applied. Again, if you don't think you can break this boredom relieving habit once you are married, you'ld best find something else to relieve your boredom.

That's my two cents. You will undoubtably get other points of view.
 
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Danielof the Island

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Well, here it is...

It's not an addition nor something I crave. I do it when I literally have nothing else to do. Some people play with their rubix cube when they are bored, I... well, anyway.

I don't think I've ever "orgasmed." Infact, I don't even know whut that is. It's not really pleasurable. I've tried to make it pleasurable. It just isn't. It's more of a means to release tension than anything else. Is that sinful?

As for the "settingcaptivesfree" website, no thanks... If you think it's sinful, say so, and I'll stop.

Quitting is not an issue. My only question is wether or not it is sinful.
 
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gengwall

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Danielof the Island said:
I don't think I've ever "orgasmed." Infact, I don't even know whut that is. It's not really pleasurable. I've tried to make it pleasurable. It just isn't. It's more of a means to release tension than anything else. Is that sinful?
First off, I assume you are older than, say 10. So, I assume you [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. Although it is possible to have [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] without [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] (but not without significant self training), I am pretty sure it is not possible to have [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] without [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. I might be wrong. Now, your [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] might not be earth shattering. But the very fact that you speak of tension relief indicates that your are at least having some kind of [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. At least if the tension is mental.

What about what accompanies the habit. Are you engaging in sexual fantasy or is it strickly a physical act like going to the bathroom? Again, the "sin" element comes more into play for the ancillary elements of masturbation rather than the physical act itself.

Incidentally, I have great respect for settingcaptivesfree. It was the course I went through that helped me break my sexual sin. Although I may not share their universal condemnation of masturbation it certainly was very applicable in my case. If you end up determining that your habit is sinful and needs to be broken, their course can very much help you achieve that goal.
 
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goldenviolet

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Danielof the Island said:
Is that sinful?

As for the "settingcaptivesfree" website, no thanks... If you think it's sinful, say so, and I'll stop.

Quitting is not an issue. My only question is wether or not it is sinful.

Danielof the Island said:
If I determine that it is sinful, I don't need "help," I'll simply stop.

it sounds like this is a big question for you. would it help if you wrote down a pro and con list... at different times. like one now. one if you do this/ and after.
evaluate your state by collums of spiritually, mentally, and physically.
 
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goldenviolet

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Danielof the Island said:
Pros - Something to do when I'm bored, and sheets don't get stained.

Cons - Sheets get stained.

Really, I don't see it as good or bad. Either it's sinful or it's not. I don't really think about it beyond that.
that sounds like physical pro and con. you don't have to post them, but it would be helpful for you if you think about spiritual and mental pro and cons too.

http://www.christianforums.com/t2307869-attn-s-w-s-a-guide-to-this-forum.html
evaluate your state by collums of spiritually, mentally, and physically.
 
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Chajara

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I wouldn't worry about the pleasuring, I'd worry about the boredom. I used to do the exact same thing out of boredom (well, hormones running amok as well) and the fact is I was miserable. I'd advise you to take a look at your life and see if you can do something about this boredom. It's not healthy.
 
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VVV

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Self pleasure a sin, will not reposnd to that, but do have an old post on boredom.


" Positive Time Fillers"



Developing a list of positive time fillers was a big help with my addictions. As Thoreau wrote in Walden , "The devil finds work for idle hands." Before heading in this new direction, most of my time was occupied by what to buy next, overeating rich foods and getting fat and when I wanted a break from that I had a picnic basket of other addictive areas to get drugged up with. Most of my new activities are sport or movement related as they also serve the purposes of helping with my overeating disease and have the added benefit of improved health and don't produce clutter like some hobbies do. In addition they help with depression, balance and equilibrium and brain functioning. Now, keeping busy is not the cure all for addicts, but it is a necessary foundational pillar.

Other areas of importance are those activities that relax our minds or stimulate them for healthy growth potential. Bottom line: is the activity pleasing to us, healthy, nurturing and sustainable? You can also use the SCA guidelines for any questions about the activity: is the activity placing unreasonable demands on my time and energy, will it place me in legal jeopardy or endanger my mental, physical or spiritual health? Remember, as Jack LaLane said, exercise and eating healthy, natural foods are the King and Queen of good health. If you hate to move and hate to eat well, then do as he also said; "I developed a liking for things that are good for me."

Now I have much to look forward to in life for activities or rewards that are not destructive and are sustainable. Activities to occupy yourself that don't revolve around spending, eating, gambling, drugs or alcohol or other addictive areas only go so far in recovery though. You also have to be careful to take time to relax and not escape life through activity. Horace wrote, "Caelum non animum mutant qui trans mare currunt--You can run away as far as you like but you'll never get away from yourself." 12 Step work, reducing stress, repairing the wreckage of the past and living a balanced life all contribute to heading in the right recovery direction.

I've enclosed a few of some of my activities below for your perusal. Also be careful you don't find another excuse to compulsively spend with each new activity or sport you take up. That is something I have to watch. For instance. If you take up rollerblading, you buy one pair of skates and one set or protective gear, etc. You don't buy 5 pairs of skates 5 different skate bags and 8 sets of skate clothes, in all colors for each day of the week plus one extra for holidays. If you want different skates, you sell the old pair and then buy a different set. Everything is on a "one in ~ one out" basis to avoid compulsive spending, stockpiling and clutter.

Partial List of My Positive Time Filling Activities:

Hiking, Mountain Bike, Climbing Gym and Rock Climbing, Basketball, Rollerblading, Trail Running, Jet Skiing, Racquetball, Swim, Sun Bath, Fishing, Canoeing, Skateboarding, Weight Training, Target Shooting, Camping, Jogging, Kayaking, Motorcycle, Snowshoe, Downhill Skiing, XC Skiing, Yoga, Massage, Meditation, Dirt Bike, Free Lectures and Movies at a Local University, Snow Tubing, Snorkeling / Scuba, Napping or Relaxing in a Hammock, Bar B Q, Picnics, Library, Spiritual Studies, Free Musical Events and Concerts, Church Services, Scenic Seasonal Car Trips, Travel.

Exercise and healthy eating are the king and queen of good health. They must also sit on a thrown of low stress living. I hope you make the king and queen part of your life. Here is a small snip from Psychotherapy Toady regarding the benefits of exercise with addiction.

Why does exercise have such an impact on the emotional brain? Naturally, there is, first of all, its effect on endorphins. These tiny molecules secreted by the brain resemble opium and its derivatives, such as morphine and heroin. The emotional brain contains many receptors for endorphins, and that's why it is so sensitive to opium-it immediately radiates a sensation of well-being and satisfaction by hijacking one of the emotional brain's own intrinsic mechanisms. Opium has a powerful effect on emotions-in fact, it's the strongest known antidote to the pangs of separation and mourning. However, when derivatives of opium are used too often, they can become habit forming. Brain receptors become inured to them, so the dose must be systematically increased in order to produce the same effect. Moreover, because the receptors become less and less sensitive, regular pleasures lose all their power and potency-including sex, the pleasure of which is often reduced in drug addicts.

The secretion of endorphins brought on by physical exercise does exactly the opposite. The more the natural mechanism of pleasure is gently stimulated by exercise, the more sensitive the mechanism itself becomes. In addition to relishing sex and life's other big pleasures, people who exercise regularly actually get more pleasure out of the little things in life: their friendships, their cats, their meals, their hobbies, or even the smiles of passersby in the street. Essentially, it becomes easier for them to be satisfied, And in fact, the experience of pleasure is just the opposite of depression. Depression is defined, above all, by the absence of pleasure, more so than by sadness, which is probably the reason why the release of endorphins has such a potent antidepressant and anxiolytic effect. Stimulating the emotional brain by exercise also kindles the immune system. It promotes the proliferation of "natural killer" cells, making them more aggressive against infections and cancer cells. The opposite effect occurs with heroin addicts, whose immunedefenses collapse, often causing them to become gravely ill.

Exercise may also strengthen another physiological mechanism related to emotional health. This mechanism involves what we have already learned about heart rate variability. "'People who exercise regularly show a greater variability in heart rate and more coherence than people who do not. This means that their parasympathetic system, the physiological "brake" that brings on periods of calm, is healthier and stronger. A good balance between the two branches of the autonomic nervous system is one of the best potential antidotes to anxiety and panic attacks. All the symptoms of anxiety start with an overactive sympathetic system, a dry mouth, accelerated heartbeat, sweating, trembling, a rise in blood pressure. The sympathetic and parasympathetic systems are always in opposition. Thus, the more stimulation the parasympathetic branch receives, the stronger it becomes-like a developing muscle.




V (Male)

A Christian-Buddhist practitioner living a life of Voluntary Simplicity and grateful recovering Debtor, Drug, Alcohol and Substance Abuser, Compulsive Overeater, Clutterer, Hoarder, Rageaholic, Speculative Gambler, Compulsive Spender, Sex and Sensation Addict.
 
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