scriptures about dealing with toxic people

[kenneth nathan]

I use to believe that we need to treat others as we want them to treat us. I'm not sure if i believe that anymore. The bible says very little about how we should treat people when people hurt us. When people make us uncomfortable and spread their toxicity. You know they are far from Heavenly father. Pride. Envy. I feel it and it disturbs me. I avoid them. Sometimes i resent them and feel angry for the way they are. Sometimes, i wonder the way i feel, is that appropriate. Would heavenly father approve of this, as he tells us to love one another. Its very confusing i can't find an answer. I love people who treat me with respect, kindness and make me feel like someone. When i step out of my comfort zone, I dont feel that way. I feel hostile and oppressed around toxic people. Many times i avoid such situations and don't mingle with such people. In my mind, I wonder would Heavenly father dealt with it differently.

 

[NJA]

Be aware of the grace of God, that's the medicine which "many" do not take because they have no spiritual vision.

Heb 12:15: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled

Jesus avoided "toxic" people, he walked no longer in Jewry when they rejected him, except when he had to suffer for our sins.
Life is shorty, the mission is only to find and care for sheep (people that want what God is offering).

There was a toxic person in Corinth, he was "delivered unto satan for the destruction of the flesh", i.e put out of fellowship, not as a personal enemy but to show him he was not right with God and show hiom that the World only destroys that he might come to his senses (like Nebuchadnezzar who became an animal for a while).

Jude 18-23:
"How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.
But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost (in tongues),
Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
And of some have compassion, making a difference:
And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire (don't get too close); hating even the garment spotted (greek: dis-graced) by the flesh.

 

[throughfiierytrial]

Be aware of the grace of God, that's the medicine which "many" do not take because they have no spiritual vision.

Heb 12:15: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled

Jesus avoided "toxic" people, he walked no longer in Jewry when they rejected him, except when he had to suffer for our sins.
Life is shorty, the mission is only to find and care for sheep (people that want what God is offering).

There was a toxic person in Corinth, he was "delivered unto satan for the destruction of the flesh", i.e put out of fellowship, not as a personal enemy but to show him he was not right with God and show hiom that the World only destroys that he might come to his senses (like Nebuchadnezzar who became an animal for a while).

Jude 18-23:
"How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.
But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost (in tongues),
Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
And of some have compassion, making a difference:
And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire (don't get too close); hating even the garment spotted (greek: dis-graced) by the flesh.

However, you are speaking of those who would call themselves brothers or believers. The obligations to believers and unbelievers is not the same. We are not to associate with anyone who calls himself a brother and is involved in unrepentant sin.
An unbeliever on the other hand needs conversion. When we meet such people we seek God's strength, words and actions to help bring them to Christ.

 

[royal priest]

I use to believe that we need to treat others as we want them to treat us. I'm not sure if i believe that anymore. The bible says very little about how we should treat people when people hurt us. When people make us uncomfortable and spread their toxicity. You know they are far from Heavenly father. Pride. Envy. I feel it and it disturbs me. I avoid them. Sometimes i resent them and feel angry for the way they are. Sometimes, i wonder the way i feel, is that appropriate. Would heavenly father approve of this, as he tells us to love one another. Its very confusing i can't find an answer. I love people who treat me with respect, kindness and make me feel like someone. When i step out of my comfort zone, I dont feel that way. I feel hostile and oppressed around toxic people. Many times i avoid such situations and don't mingle with such people. In my mind, I wonder would Heavenly father dealt with it differently.

Toxic implies the negative influence certain people can have on us. If that's the case, then it's better to avoid them altogether lest we stumble. Proverbs 4:13-16; Proverbs 26:4; Proverbs 22:24-25; Proverbs 20:19. The principle of "treating others..." is the principle of love. Avoidance can be considered loving because their behavior often stirs up evil contention, and that would be very bad for the instigator Matthew 18:6.
Simple avoidance of such solicitations can only be good for them. Sometimes, they are motivated out of testing the genuineness of our faith, to see if we are the real McCoy. People without hope want to know if there really is a basis for our hope. A steadfast resolution to not run with them into sin could move them to ask what makes us tick. But be prepared for further antagonism and let that light shine! 1 Peter 4:4, 1 Peter 3:15-16.

 

[kenneth nathan]

Toxic implies the negative influence certain people can have on us. If that's the case, then it's better to avoid them altogether lest we stumble. Proverbs 4:13-16; Proverbs 26:4; Proverbs 22:24-25; Proverbs 20:19. The principle of "treating others..." is the principle of love. Avoidance can be considered loving because their behavior often stirs up evil contention, and that would be very bad for the instigator Matthew 18:6.
Simple avoidance of such solicitations can only be good for them. Sometimes, they are motivated out of testing the genuineness of our faith, to see if we are the real McCoy. People without hope want to know if there really is a basis for our hope. A steadfast resolution to not run with them into sin could move them to ask what makes us tick. But be prepared for further antagonism and let that light shine! 1 Peter 4:4, 1 Peter 3:15-16.

When you say avoidance can be considered loving, your spot on cause i avoid so i don't make the people I love, that are around the toxic people, uncomfortable. I feel like they don't deserve to be avoided too, reason for the feeling of guilt. I realise it happens to protect them too. There is no need to feel guilt or remorse. If someone or situation makes you uncomfortable, its not my fault cause those are signs of danger and avoidance is way of protecting us and our loved ones.

 

[com7fy8]

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

> not to try to lord ourselves over anyone, to control or use the person

> God is trusting us with each and every person > to love each one > but this includes being sensitive to if and how each person wants to share with us

> be good example with someone who is horrible, bitter, toxic; be strong enough so the person can't get power over you, and put this example "right in the person's face" to show that their stuff is not going to control or intimidate you, plus showing you are not trying to hurt the person > possibly, someone nasty is in a defensive mode, but your humility and kindness can melt through > show you are being kind and not swayed elsewhere by whatever the person may say or do

It can be that you be quiet and let the LORD fight the deep battle > Exodus 14:14 > but do not give the person the "silent treatment"; but in spirit and attitude be ready to communicate and share > loving the nasty person as yourself can include being ready to, though the person is not ready. Stay ready for how God is able to bless the person.

There are people who don't know how to love. This is why they are mean and cruel, not because of you.

"And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good?" (1 Peter 3:13)

 

[LovingLife2016]

You cant let how they are effect you. Just because they want to act toxic should not change you one way or the other. The only person God is concerned about is how you treat others not how they treat you. They have to answer for how they are and you have to answer for how you are. I deal with family, friends, associates that have nasty attitudes, mean, defensive, selfish, but I try not to let that affect me and change who I am. Hope this helps

 

[little stream]

Agree with what LovingLife2016 said.
If this bothers you a lot, turn your attention and efforts to those who treat you with respect, kindness. We can choose to ignore toxic people in the heart, no need to resent them, stop resenting others or you will become bitter, which means we just do what God hopes us to do, needn't care about what they do for God.Because God is always be our side watching our behaviors. It is hard for man to break away from such feelings in most cases. Here i'd like to add that keep praying to God and intimacy with God, so as to engage the heart of heavenly Father and get strength, might and we can face everything fearlessly happen around us.

 

[Gwen-is-new!]

My mom is 73-yrs old, and I honestly don't believe she is capable (or ever has been) of saying anything nice or encouraging to me or anyone. The negative, critical words come out immediately and it's like she doesn't even hear herself! I could count on 1 hand the number of nice, encouraging, complementing things she has said to me in the past 47 yrs!

Now, my confidence comes from Christ, and I don't need affirmations from anyone but HIM, but now she is subjecting my teenagers to this, and it's really hard to watch it all over again. Their esteem is fragile at this stage of life!

I could give lots of examples, but the latest would be she kept asking about my daughter and prom, so I posted the picture of my beautiful (inside and outside) young woman in her prom dress, and all she says in a negative, disappointed tone.. "strapless..figures".. This is ALL she says.. then she asks me to email her the picture so she can print it?!

Does Jesus want me to believe the best that my mom thinks the dress is pretty and her granddaughter is lovely, and that is why she wants to print it.. but she just can't say it?

My older sister has tried like crazy to talk to my mom about this.. ie.. her words, her negativeness, etc.. to no avail, so other than the fact I don't want to confront her, I have no hope. It's so ingrained in her personality, and she isn't spirit-filled or led.

She also calls my teenagers and talks negative (bad mouths) me to my own kids, especially if I avoid her!

Sorry to write a book, and any wisdom will be seriously received.