Questions You'd ask a Married Couple

[Manda_24]

For premarital counseling my fiance and I are supposed to have dinner with and interview a married couple from our church. We've chosen ours and we're going over for dinner Tuesday. Our problem is we really don't know what questions to ask, this couple is very outgoing and we're pretty quite so it could be interesting. I'm not always good with making conversation with people I don't know all that well. I have maybe six or so that will work but I was just curious as to what some of you may ask a married couple.

We weren't give any guidelines and the couple said anything is fair game. So, if you were getting married what would you ask or even as a single person what type of marriage advice would you want.

 

[trentlogain2]

I don't know. But are you going to take record of y'alls conversation with the married couple? If so, is it going to be something like note taking or an audio recording?

 

[white dove]

For premarital counseling my fiance and I are supposed to have dinner with and interview a married couple from our church. We've chosen ours and we're going over for dinner Tuesday. Our problem is we really don't know what questions to ask, this couple is very outgoing and we're pretty quite so it could be interesting. I'm not always good with making conversation with people I don't know all that well. I have maybe six or so that will work but I was just curious as to what some of you may ask a married couple.

We weren't give any guidelines and the couple said anything is fair game. So, if you were getting married what would you ask or even as a single person what type of marriage advice would you want.

What a great opportunity. Congratulations btw.


Would probably not ask a whole lot of questions, but some things I'd want to know are:


1. How long have they been married?

2. How do they deal with difficult times?

2. What are some tricky spots that one might not see from the outside? (ie. What are some things that are not expected that one might want to be prepared for?)

3. Did they have doubts before the wedding?

4. Have there ever been moments when, in the marriage, they weren't sure if they'd married the right person? (could be very enlightening to find this out)

5. Do they feel love for each other everyday?

6. What steps do they take to make the marriage feel "alive" or "new" for them each day? (could vary from couple to couple, but it could give you some ideas)

Oh, also.. considering they are probably Christians:

7. How do they put God at the center of their relationship?

 

[Manda_24]

I don't know. But are you going to take record of y'alls conversation with the married couple? If so, is it going to be something like note taking or an audio recording?

I don't think we are, we really weren't given any directions. I think we may just discuss with our premarital counselor some things we talked about or things we learned.

What a great opportunity. Congratulations btw.


Would probably not ask a whole lot of questions, but some things I'd want to know are:
...

Thanks!
Yeah, I really don't want to ask a whole lot of questions, it's just not me to do something like this but whatever.



I guess I could post some that I came up with and maybe they'd branch other ideas or something.

1. how long have you been together (how long did you date, were engaged, and married)
2. what are some ways you communicate with your spouse?
3. are there couples you look up to, what do you respect about their marriages?
4. How do you resolve conflicts?
5. What do you see as strengths and weaknesses of your/in your marriage?
6. How has your marriage changed over the years?
7. How do you communicate love and appreciation to your spouse?

 

[Sketcher]

Why have you stayed together for xx years? What helped?

What do you wish you would have done earlier in your relationship? Anything you didn't figure out until, say, 7-10 years in that you would recommend to a couple that is starting out?

What are some practical things for merging our lives that we can do now that you either did when you were engaged or would have done having learned life's lessons?

 

[white dove]

Those are really good, Manda.

 

[mina]

How do you handle finances?

What do you feel keeps you communicating effectively?

How do you fight? and how often?
What helps you to love the other person when you are mad at them?

 

[Manda_24]

Thanks so much everyone, those helped. I don't know how many were' supposed to ask or anything like that, I just wanted to have somewhat of a list for ideas. You guys came up with some that I didn't think of.

 

[IreneAdler]

what do you do if you can't agree?

 

[Wren]

2. What are some tricky spots that one might not see from the outside? (ie. What are some things that are not expected that one might want to be prepared for?)

My question would be something like this ^ one: What do you wish you had known before you got married?

Or maybe... What is the best advice you received before you got married, that helped you through rough times or helped you prevent rough times? (sorry if this is a repeat, I don't recall seeing someone list this)

 

[Luther073082]

Ok the marriage experts are in. Our 60 hours of marriage experience can help you all have successful future marrages.

 

[Test All Things2]

Hello,

ask them simply what advice they would give you regarding being successful in marriage and see what they respond with. You might be surprised.

But pay close attention to the spiritual aspects of these peoples lives. Spirituality and the dynamic between the two of them are probably important things to take note of.

Praying together as a couple every day is a very good practice in any marriage.

 

[Oddish]

• When in disagreement, how do you come to a compromise?
• Do you ever feel bored with your marriage?
• Is it hard work?
• What do you do when you feel like giving up, do you talk through it?
• Do you still have "me time" and hang out with your own friends?
• Do you agree on ways to parent your kids? If not, then how did you overcome that?
• Do you encourage each other in your walk with God?
• Is marriage what you expected it to be?
• Does being with one person for the rest of your live scare you?
• Do you still take the time to go out and try new things?
• Did you communicate your future plans clearly before marriage?
• Do you get along with the inlaws?
• Did you realise straight away that you would marry your partner?

 

[Manda_24]

Ok the marriage experts are in. Our 60 hours of marriage experience can help you all have successful future marrages.

haha, I will keep that in mind and maybe come up with some questions for you guys

Congratulations again by the way!!

 

[Luther073082]

haha, I will keep that in mind and maybe come up with some questions for you guys

Congratulations again by the way!!

Thanks and good luck with your upcomming nuptuals.

BTW in all seriousness you may want to talk to someone who's actually finished their honeymoon.