Questions about Confession

[GoatsandRoses]

Hello, I'm exploring Eastern Orthodoxy and have a question for "real" EOCs. I read that many EOCs only go to confession a few times a year. What is the Church's belief about what happens if a person dies with unconfessed sin? (For example, tomorrow morning you yell at your spouse or kids, and on the way to work, you have a car accident and die instantly. What would happen to your soul, according to the EOC, in a case like that?)

Also, does confession always have to be in the presence of a priest to be effective? Say you're in the car wreck above, but you live for a few minutes after impact, could you simply ask Christ to forgive you?

Again, I'm just trying to learn more about this faith. It's a steep learning-curve for a Protestant. Thank you.

 

[AMM]

As I understand it, the priest stands there as a witness to your repentance. So we don't say things like, "if you didn't confess that sin to the priest, you're going to hell!" But at the same time, we do recognize the extreme value and importance of confessing in the presence of a priest - this is a gift that God has given us, and a way that He saves us.

We aren't legalistic about it though.

 

[Not David]

As I understand it, the priest stands there as a witness to your repentance. So we don't say things like, "if you didn't confess that sin to the priest, you're going to hell!" But at the same time, we do recognize the extreme value and importance of confessing in the presence of a priest - this is a gift that God has given us, and a way that He saves us.

We aren't legalistic about it though.

Does the answer mean that we don't know?

 

[AMM]

Does the answer mean that we don't know?

I suppose so, to an extent. God is merciful but we don't presume to make judgments on the salvation or damnation of others.

 

[ArmyMatt]

what happens is the person who died comes face to face with God in all His mercy and power. how the soul responds to that encounter is not something for us to know unless God reveals it.

 

[Phronema]

what happens is the person who died comes face to face with God in all His mercy and power. how the soul responds to that encounter is not something for us to know unless God reveals it.

Would having unconfessed sins upon death make a difference versus death with no unconfessed sins?

 

[archer75]

Hello, I'm exploring Eastern Orthodoxy and have a question for "real" EOCs. I read that many EOCs only go to confession a few times a year. What is the Church's belief about what happens if a person dies with unconfessed sin? (For example, tomorrow morning you yell at your spouse or kids, and on the way to work, you have a car accident and die instantly. What would happen to your soul, according to the EOC, in a case like that?)

Also, does confession always have to be in the presence of a priest to be effective? Say you're in the car wreck above, but you live for a few minutes after impact, could you simply ask Christ to forgive you?

Again, I'm just trying to learn more about this faith. It's a steep learning-curve for a Protestant. Thank you.

Just to add a touch to this. Some people confess their sins with a monk or a nun (or even occasionally a layperson with a blessing to hear confessions?) as witness and later simply see a priest for absolution.

That's not so common, I think, but it does happen.

 

[archer75]

But the other thing to say, as above, is that we try to avoid legalism. Going to the Sacrament keeps us turning toward Christ, which is the goal. It's not a "sinned in thought and fell down the stairs, zap!" kind of thing.

There are saints who never went to Confession or may not have gone. And whole centuries of Christians who didn't go in this manner.

 

[GoatsandRoses]

Thanks to everyone for your candor in answering this.

 

[WanderedHome]

Hello, I'm exploring Eastern Orthodoxy and have a question for "real" EOCs. I read that many EOCs only go to confession a few times a year. What is the Church's belief about what happens if a person dies with unconfessed sin? (For example, tomorrow morning, you yell at your spouse or kids, and on the way to work, you have a car accident and die instantly. What would happen to your soul, according to the EOC, in a case like that?)

Also, does confession always have to be in the presence of a priest to be effective? Say you're in the car wreck above, but you live for a few minutes after impact, could you simply ask Christ to forgive you?

Again, I'm just trying to learn more about this faith. It's a steep learning curve for a Protestant. Thank you.

For your first question- when I have worries about that, Psalm 103:8 always comes to mind, "The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love"(ESV). (but you should read the whole chapter, it really drives that point home). ... So, when I think about that verse, it always reminds me how our God is not nit-picky or legalistic. He knows your heart and whether you are sorry before you even get the words out.

As for the second question- I've often had that question myself. Here is what I found from one of my favorite Saints,

"Every sin that burdens the conscience should be quickly cleansed by repentance without waiting for any particular time of preparation.... Every day before you go to sleep, make a private confession to the Lord of everything in which you have sinned... Make a confession minute by minute, that is, every impure and blameworthy thought, desire, feeling and movement confess as soon as you realize to the all-seeing God with contrition of spirit;... reveal every perplexity, confusion, or new understanding to another of like mind with you, or to your spiritual father... through all of these activities confession truly becomes ceaseless." (The Path to Salvation, St. Theophan the Recluse; 19th century Russian monk.)
​

I would highly recommend getting a copy of this book, it is worth the read- it was an invaluable resource for me when I was learning about Orthodoxy. It is basically a textbook on spiritual transformation- a well organized and pastoral approach.

Regarding the quote, he is obviously not saying you can skip the Sacrament of Confession in the Church, but just that you shouldn't wait for the next time your priest hears Confessions if your conscience bothers you. You can confess directly to God as well.
It seems like what he is saying is Confession in the Church is basically for sins that you are struggling with, like habitual stuff, or maybe something really serious that you need advice on... but perhaps a priest here can advise on that.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Would having unconfessed sins upon death make a difference versus death with no unconfessed sins?

sure, but that doesn't make it hopeless.

 

[archer75]

I just want to encourage the OP to go to a service sometime. The way "we" do things can be better understood in the context of the other things we do. Even if you aren't Orthodox, I think many priests will speak to you "informally" during a time set aside for witnessing confessions. Or, of course, at some other time.

 

[Phronema]

sure, but that doesn't make it hopeless.

Thank you Father.

 

[Jude1:3Contendforthefaith]

Check out this thread I made before my Holy Chrismation and Holy Baptism OP :

Question about the "Life Confession" before Baptism and Chrismation


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[F.E.A.R.]

Well you will be judged in the state which death finds you. I'm amazed that nobody has said this in the comments, but good deeds can redeem the soul. All I know is that we the Christians, our judgment will be the harshest, while other people will be judged in three different ways, our is the fourth, which is the harshest. Elder Cleopa explains this really good, but I can't find his book so that I can translate.

 

[WanderedHome]

Well you will be judged in the state which death finds you. I'm amazed that nobody has said this in the comments, but good deeds can redeem the soul. All I know is that we the Christians, our judgment will be the harshest, while other people will be judged in three different ways, our is the fourth, which is the harshest. Elder Cleopa explains this really good, but I can't find his book so that I can translate.

It's true, but I think that "state" is more about our disposition towards God, than whether we died in a moment of weakness, having lived a good life of faith and love. I think there needs to be a balance between fear of God and confidence in His love for us... and the power of Christ's blood to cover our sin.

For example, while growing up, I never feared my earthly father because I knew he loved me. Even when he punished me, I was not afraid he was going to disown me or kick me out of the house. I knew he did it because he loved me and wanted to see me become a good man. I was more afraid of disappointing him or taking his kindness towards me for granted.

I suppose good deeds can redeem the soul if they are done in the love of Christ and not for earning any kind of right to get into Heaven... and maybe it is obvious to you that is what Elder Cleopas meant... but I think it is important to clarify the motives.

 

[Not David]

Realistically some people can only change if they understand they will burn.

 

[WanderedHome]

Realistically some people can only change if they understand they will burn.

I don't know if I agree with that. If Hell is the motivation, is it real change? Anyone can change, but love for God must be greater than the fear of Hell.

 

[F.E.A.R.]

I don't know if I agree with that. If Hell is the motivation, is it real change? Anyone can change, but love for God must be greater than the fear of Hell.

Hell isn't the motivation. A person can change if he submits his will to God or if he prays to God to change him, to make him a better person. The fear of death and the fear of God is also what keeps a man from sining and leads him to eternal life. Let's also not forget that Hell is actually a state not a place where you burn in hellfire and demons torture you. A state where God's uncreated energies burn you for eternity. But that's why we pray for the dead, if someone ends up there, God to forgive his/her sins and elevate higher, to ease his/her torment.

 

[WanderedHome]

Hell isn't the motivation. A person can change if he submits his will to God or if he prays to God to change him, to make him a better person. The fear of death and the fear of God is also what keeps a man from sinning and leads him to eternal life. Let's also not forget that Hell is actually a state not a place where you burn in hellfire and demons torture you. A state where God's uncreated energies burn you for eternity. But that's why we pray for the dead, if someone ends up there, God to forgive his/her sins and elevate higher, to ease his/her torment.

Yes, it should not be the motivation for Christians. I was just responding to Not David's statement that some people do not change without that fear of hell. For them, it is their motivation because they fear hell (which is being in the presence of God and hating it), but they do not fear God. It is like a child who only obeys his parents when they are looking because he is afraid of getting caught... not because he cares about obeying his parents and making them happy.

1 John 4:18 explains what I mean,

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."​