Promise Rings

koban4max · Jul 29, 2005

just get an engagement ring.

JefflovesHolly · Aug 8, 2005

Hey I just wanted to point something out that the average age of the people that posted on this is about 21 and a half. So the majority of you people all erady have the freedom to engage when you want to. Basically I see that there are certain stages in a relationship.

1. Dating

2. Going Steady

3. Engagement

4. Marriage

Basically a promise ring would fit in between steps 2 and 3. And with my girlfriend and I we were never just dating, once I saw her I knew no one else would ever be like her, and I met her 5 years ago about. And right now I wouldn't just say we're "going steady". I gave her a necklace before that said "Love" on it but not a promise ring yet. And I don't know if I will. But really I don't think we really need a ring it is all ready known by both of us that we will be married eventually, and a promise ring would just strengthen us for the waiting process.

Carri20 · Aug 8, 2005

Hey I just wanted to point something out that the average age of the people that posted on this is about 21 and a half. So the majority of you people all erady have the freedom to engage when you want to. Basically I see that there are certain stages in a relationship.

1. Dating

2. Going Steady

3. Engagement

4. Marriage

Basically a promise ring would fit in between steps 2 and 3. And with my girlfriend and I we were never just dating, once I saw her I knew no one else would ever be like her, and I met her 5 years ago about. And right now I wouldn't just say we're "going steady". I gave her a necklace before that said "Love" on it but not a promise ring yet. And I don't know if I will. But really I don't think we really need a ring it is all ready known by both of us that we will be married eventually, and a promise ring would just strengthen us for the waiting process.

Awesome post! Thanks.

MrsSeptemberPenguin · Aug 8, 2005

JefflovesHolly said:
Hey I just wanted to point something out that the average age of the people that posted on this is about 21 and a half. So the majority of you people all erady have the freedom to engage when you want to. Basically I see that there are certain stages in a relationship.

1. Dating

2. Going Steady

3. Engagement

4. Marriage

Basically a promise ring would fit in between steps 2 and 3. And with my girlfriend and I we were never just dating, once I saw her I knew no one else would ever be like her, and I met her 5 years ago about. And right now I wouldn't just say we're "going steady". I gave her a necklace before that said "Love" on it but not a promise ring yet. And I don't know if I will. But really I don't think we really need a ring it is all ready known by both of us that we will be married eventually, and a promise ring would just strengthen us for the waiting process.

Good post! I agree. even though I may be old enough to marry. There is still college and everything else to consider. People say engagement should be when you are ready to start planning the wedding. Well can't there be some kind of commitment before that? More than just I'm exclusively dating/going steady w/ you?

Tuffguy · Aug 8, 2005

I think they're retarded. Just an extended engagement. Translation. A good way for a guy to avoid commitment for a longer period of time.

FaithfulServant · Aug 8, 2005

squirrelz_15 said:
even though I may be old enough to marry. There is still college and everything else to consider. People say engagement should be when you are ready to start planning the wedding. Well can't there be some kind of commitment before that? More than just I'm exclusively dating/going steady w/ you?

In my opinion, no There is no extra step. It is just something that people made up to amke themselves FEEL like there is more of a commitment. But in God's eyes, the commitment is the same. Either you're single, courting/dating or married. There is no extra step.

Carri20 · Aug 8, 2005

Either you're single, courting/dating or married. There is no extra step.

Well where does engagement fit into all that? And what's the difference in significance between engagement and marriage? (Just curious )

FaithfulServant · Aug 8, 2005

Carri20 said:
Well where does engagement fit into all that? And what's the difference in significance between engagement and marriage? (Just curious )

Opps, you're right I forgot to add engagement! hehe

ardeur · Aug 8, 2005

Instead of a promise ring why not give your boyfriend/girlfriend a purity ring? Makes more sense to me.

MrsSeptemberPenguin · Aug 8, 2005

ardeur said:
Instead of a promise ring why not give your boyfriend/girlfriend a purity ring? Makes more sense to me.

Ok, good idea, but here is my deal w/ that. I already have a purity ring.I don't wear it because it was getting worn out, and it saved my finger from a lot of pain so it was severly bent, but anyway. Generally a purity ring is something between you and God, not that promise rings aren't. They both should be. I guess I could see doing that as a commitment to stay pure for your SO and for God. Good though.

SimplyUnique · Aug 9, 2005

my understanding is that it is kinda like a pre-engadement ring. it's like your saying "i love you very much and I promise in the future, when we are old enough, I will purpose to you and we will get married"

Oblivious · Aug 9, 2005

Tuffguy said:
I think they're retarded. Just an extended engagement. Translation. A good way for a guy to avoid commitment for a longer period of time.

I agree...

What's a promise ring symbolize? An engagement to be engaged for marriage?

I guess I'm a "tradionalist". I'm all for engagements and engagement rings! Engagement rings to me say that we are ready to take the next big step (marriage). Plus marriage proposals are an awesome experience! I don't see any reason to have to include a baby step (promise ring) in that "process" (for lack of a better word )

Just my $.02....

FaithfulServant · Aug 9, 2005

One of my friends recently received a promnise ring from her boyfriend. They are 21 years old and all I could think about was - Wow, I feel like I'm back in junior high. Promise rings were the cool thing...when you were like 12 and 13...

I agree with the above poster - it is an engagement to become engaged. The couple wants to proclaim something to the world about their relationship - but this does not have to be done by a pre-engagement ring.

JefflovesHolly · Aug 9, 2005

I totally agree with you guys on the fact that a promise ring is redundent if you can just get engaged, but I think a promise ring would be good for people who can't get married right away like a minor like myself I can't get engaged and shouldn't get engaged right now I am only 15 (almost 16). Also one of the circumstances where a promise ring would be better for a time, would be the much used example of going off to college when someone graduates high school and now must go off to college getting; engaged then going off to college for a few years sounds stupid. Why not give a promise ring, go to college and then get engaged when college is over and you can actulally think about getting married. But I believe the main use for promise rings is for minors, an adult giving one is just stupid when they might as well just get engaged.

Inperfected · Aug 9, 2005

I am normally against promise rings, but lately as I see more and more people taking engagement less and less seriously, I'm starting to think its a good idea.

People need to stop getting engaged just to pass the time before marriage and stop having hugely long engagements because they can't get married until they finish 6 years of school or what have you, and start considering engagement only when they are ready to start planning that wedding.

Thus, if a promise ring is what it takes to make people feel a bit more secure, or to show that they are committed but not at that point of being ready to marry just yet, then so be it over using engagement for that same purpose.

~ ~

Blue... I do agree with you.

I was engaged before i was with the guy i am with now, and yes i was in school. The thing with the "promise" ring is you aren't so much allowed to discuss being married, or a wedding, unlike an engagement. Our engagement was secret however, without a ring, and having him break it off was very painful. The main reason for the pain was i wasn't just breaking up with him, but wiht the hopes of our future. A promise ring rather than an engagement at that age (i think he was um just 17, me too) would have help back it a bit.

But i don't agree with them in general, i just think they can be less painful than going through "broken engagements"

ebonyelegance · Aug 21, 2005

A promise ring could be a promise of anything from trust to faithfulness to love forever. But unlike an engagement ring (which is set with a spacific date and everthing) a promise ring is for when you are to young or it's too soon for you to get married. So up until the time when your old enough, you know that you've already decided what your answer will be when he pops the big question.

Well at least that's what i think of an promise ring. So i guess you could call it a pre-engagement ring instead. But to the dude who said when you know you know so why wait..... just so you know some people are to young and can't get their parents consent, or there are opsticles in the way.

Or....... the promise ring is a promise from your boyfriend/girlfriend and maybe from your parents that you won't have sex before you get married.
(so i basically agree w/ the jefflovesholly guy)

ChildofLight85 · Aug 22, 2005

Iggster said:
promise ring....hmmm......you might as well get a Cracker Jack Box and give the girl the plastic ring. In other words, not only is it a cheap knock off, but a way to decieve a girl to getting in bed with a guy. Just my .02 cents....There's no commitment in that....Don't be fooled ladies.

just b/c they give a ring doesn't mean you're going to sleep with the guy!!
my b/f and i (no, i havent got a promise ring) have agreed not to have sex until we're married, and that still means no sex until the ceremony is finished. it doesnt matter if i have a promise ring, or even an engagement ring. for some other couples tho, i do agree with u. guyz can even just tell u that they love u to sleep with u. but i mean, i dont see the problem with a promise ring. i think itz really sweet, and showing you that they care about u.
personally, i think that a promise ring is a step between just dating and being engaged. i know for myself, i cant get married until, obviously, i can support myself financially. and as im paying for college right now, that wont be for a good 2-3 years at least. so for me, a promise ring is kind of "the next step." itz not necessarily good for all couples, and some use it as a tool for sex, but that cannot be generalized to all couples.

maeyken said:
I don't see a problem with a guy giving a girl a pretty ring, but I don't think she should wear any ring on her left hand ring finger until they're engaged.

Don't you wear the promise ring on your right finger?? at least, thatz where my mom wears/wore hers...

Inperfected · Aug 22, 2005

Wether they mean to or not, they create false expectations. You change as a teenager, and saying you'll propose 3 years down the track or even a little less in cases, is somewhat absurd. It can be appropriate in cases, where the family is adamently against it, but still you should be able to at this point, not a 3 year ahead thing (not all cases i reiterate, but most).

I've been there as a 17yo, i'm not speaking from my high horse... but i've personally had the pain from a broken, "engagement".

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