and when I message them on facebook they ignore my messages and at the same time I message them I see them post statuses and comments on mutual friends pages, so I know they are on facebook at the time. I dont understand why they dont like me and ignore me but talk to and spend time with everyone else. They claim to be such lovers of Jesus and talk about how much they love God and Jesus and each other but yet they completely ignore and dont invite me places. Isnt being a christian supposed to be about loving everyone and not ignoring them? Im kind of confused
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
-
Christian Forums is looking to bring on new moderators to the CF Staff Team! If you have been an active member of CF for at least three months with 200 posts during that time, you're eligible to apply! This is a great way to give back to CF and keep the forums running smoothly! If you're interested, you can submit your application here!
People at church are ignoring me and not inviting me to hang out with them
- Thread starter sarahjones1245
- Start date
Obzocky
Senior Contributor
Loving everyone, but not liking everyone.
If they do not enjoy your company, or you give off the impression that you do not enjoy theirs, if you are difficult to communicate with or have a history of behaving in ways that make people cautious, they will not want to get involved with you. In those cases you have to start proving yourself to them. Either they have all shunned you or you have built up a reputation as being someone no one really wishes to communicate with, either way it's down to you to make any changes, not them. They're content ignoring you, you're not. So you need to look at why they could be ignoring you, or expand your social circle to those who have not shunned you.
(the pattern remains the same, but the hope, oh the hope)
If they do not enjoy your company, or you give off the impression that you do not enjoy theirs, if you are difficult to communicate with or have a history of behaving in ways that make people cautious, they will not want to get involved with you. In those cases you have to start proving yourself to them. Either they have all shunned you or you have built up a reputation as being someone no one really wishes to communicate with, either way it's down to you to make any changes, not them. They're content ignoring you, you're not. So you need to look at why they could be ignoring you, or expand your social circle to those who have not shunned you.
(the pattern remains the same, but the hope, oh the hope)
Upvote
0
wholigan11
Newbie
You should ask them what the problem is.
Has the church recently changed in anyway?
At one church I had gone to the pastor and his wife unfriended me on facebook, all because I wasn't part of his little cult. A lot of people from that church don't really speak to me anymore anyway.
I'd just go to a new church then.
Upvote
0
redblue22
You Are Special.
- Jan 13, 2012
- 10,733
- 1,498
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Methodist
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Democrat
what a horrible thing to say.
Sarah,
there are a lot of mean unloving people in this world. a lot of them are Christians. don't give up your trust in God just because of the bad religious people. I'm sure you will find friends, but it sounds like these people are not going to be.
keep your ears open for people who care and take your feelings seriously. for example, you might avoid people who write "IBTL" as a response to your feelings. as well as people who tell you it is your fault that you are rejected.
wish I could help better.
(hug)
Last edited:
Upvote
0
Obzocky
Senior Contributor
I'm a horrible person. I'd be even worse if I said things for the sake of appearing nice.
You saying avoid people who do such things is the same as me saying expand your social circle. You cannot change the minds of others unless you change yourself, if there is nothing wrong with you and it is indeed nothing more than a clash of personalities/collective shunning you have to remove yourself from the situation and move on with your life.
It is hard for someone who has built up a negative reputation to shake it off when still in the same group of people. This poster has built up a reputation around here due to various other posts, so people fail to respond in a serious manner.
Edit: Until you acknowledge what you are doing that could be making people collectively shun you, or possibly recognise that you are extremely sensitive to the smallest amount of rejection, then no progress can be made. The repetition of the problem despite advice given all over Christian Forums subforums indicates that the problem cannot be solved until Sarah is willing to look at herself and assess what areas could possibly be driving people away/why she thinks everyone hates her.
Background research. It helps.
Last edited:
Upvote
0
I've honestly tried for the past two years.
Sarah (aka-someoneelseican'trememberrightnowbutitsokay), if you have not solved the problem in two years, maybe you are apart of the problem. Sometimes, its okay to admit that and change things. Change is scary but it can be good.
Upvote
0
N
Nanopants
Guest
Confession time ;]
I enjoy acting out in ways through which, while not necessarily doing any wrong to those around me, gives reason for those who are only motivated by selfishness to reject me. Call it what you will: maturity, righteousness, intelligence or even a best-fit strategy to improve once's chances at mating, if it isn't love then I don't want it.
That way I can know who I actually want to be friends with (there aren't many).
I enjoy acting out in ways through which, while not necessarily doing any wrong to those around me, gives reason for those who are only motivated by selfishness to reject me. Call it what you will: maturity, righteousness, intelligence or even a best-fit strategy to improve once's chances at mating, if it isn't love then I don't want it.
That way I can know who I actually want to be friends with (there aren't many).
Upvote
0
- Jul 23, 2007
- 56,208
- 10,981
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Atheist
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Others
Upvote
0
Amber.ly
Predictably eccentric and honestly hypocritical
You might also want to avoid honest people, mature people or really anyone who might be willing to tell you that often, our problems are of our own making.
So basically you need to find some shallow, back-stabbing friends. You can always count on them to be interested in your problems and always agree that nothing is ever your fault. Well, right up until the point where they screw you over. But its a great friendship until then!
/sarcasm
Upvote
0
Um so how is this of my own making? If its my fault that everyone is rejecting me then what is it about me that is making them reject me?
Upvote
0
N
Nanopants
Guest
Cruelty.
It's not you, but a sheep among wolves is easy prey. You should wise up, and if I were you, I would leave that church and find a place where people actually have the love of God in their hearts.
Upvote
0
KingCrimson250
IS A HOMEBOY
Red, you are a good man. You are trying to do a good thing. I respect you for that.
But there is a lot of context behind this. Trust us when we say that this is not what it seems at first glance.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
