Near the end of 2022, my dad passed a way and left a lot of material possessions at my mom's house. There is stuff piled up almost to the ceiling in the garage and in a room that was dad's office, and those rooms are completely full lengthwise and width-wise. The shed in the backyard also has a lot of stuff in it too, including a ride around lawn mower that is broken. A lot of the stuff is clutter or junk, like old books or computer equipment, car parts, etc. I feel very overwhelmed with the idea that I may have to clear out the house in the future, if I inherit the house, in order to resell it. There is a significant amount of stuff in the other rooms of the house too, but not as much. My mom is currently 75 years old and we are located in the U.S.A.
Earlier in 2022, I moved to an apartment in a new city that is about an hour away from my mom's house. I moved for a job I was hired at, and also to live closer to my special needs brother so I can visit him more often at the care center he lives at. I kind of feel like I am more at home in this area close to my brother and at a job that is better than a lot of jobs I have had in the past. So I feel like staying at this apartment and reselling my mom's house if I inherit it in the future, so I can continue life here. I don't know if my mom's health would go downhill in such a way that I would need to move back to her house to take care of her, or if I could get others to help.
So I wanted to ask for advice about how I should go about clearing stuff out of the house, or how involved I should be or not be. I only go home to my mom's house about once a month on the weekend, or during my vacation. Mom will not allow my friends or other people from church to come to the house to help out, so I have to do it myself. I would work on it by filling up my car with stuff and taking it to Good Will. I think I want to start working on it in the near future. I am uncomfortable with renting a dumpster and throwing good stuff out that could be reused by others. If I am left with it in the future when my mom passes, I may call a junk removal service, but I am thinking that this could cost thousands or tens of thousands of dollars with all the stuff. If I inherit the house, I would have to deal with removing or selling all the furniture too, and that has me overwhelmed. I am not sure I would post it on Facebook Marketplace, because I am not sure if having strangers to the house when I am by myself in the house is a safe idea. Although at a past apartment I moved out of, I posted furniture on Craigslist and had strangers buy the stuff, and I was fine by myself with strangers coming in. I am not sure about my ability to take a bunch of vacation time or a bunch of weekend trips there if my mom passes to get rid of all the stuff.
What I am really struggling with now, is how often do I want to take weekend trips to work on this. If I wanted to, I could go there almost every weekend. Or I can just go once a month or maybe every other weekend. I am thinking that if I go almost every weekend, that it will negatively affect my physical health. I am kind of in the routine of going to the fitness center near me on the weekend for cardio exercise for heart health. For some reason on the weekdays after work, I like to relax more and not drive out to the fitness center, but I tend to just want to go on a walk outside after work. So that leaves me to going to the fitness center on the weekend usually on Saturday, and my membership is only valid at my current city, not elsewhere. I usually exercise on the elliptical or treadmill for an hour. If I did not do this exercise regularly, I am thinking I could be more at risk for heart attack, and I am in my 40s, but maybe I am worrying too much.
The other dilemma I am struggling with is how frequently I just want the weekend to be a more relaxing weekend, and a time where I can work on my own hobbies or do chores at my apartment. If I would decide to go to my mom's house a lot more weekends, this would force me to do more of my chores and housekeeping on weeknights after work. Usually after work I tend to want to relax more and not work on as many tasks. What I am wondering about is how much does God want me to rest. If I take weekend trips on top of working Monday through Friday, I could be working seven days a week and not taking a day of rest for myself. And there are hobbies I want to pursue more, and maybe read some books, or visit some nice parks on the weekend. Since I like to go to my mom's house with my vacation time, I can use that time to work on it instead of many many weekends. If I inherit the house after my mom's passing than I may be under a lot more pressure to take weekend trips or vacation time to clear it out a lot more quickly.
When I do take weekend trips home to my mom's house, I find that on Friday night, I like to just relax and text people, maybe go to a restaurant with my mom, and not work on much. I am thinking about limiting distraction to my work by using app blocking software that sets time limits or can completely block texting.
I have also been wondering if I would want to just sell the house as is, with the stuff still in it, if I inherit the house. My dad's hoarding problem is not really my problem, so I don't have to carry the burden of it. I might want to totally disband from tons of weekend trips, or from taking out a loan to pay tens of thousands for it to be cleared by a junk removal service. It seems like a very highly involved burden that is too heavy, and I might just not want to deal with it, by selling as is.
The other issue to discuss is that the mortgage for the house is only three fourths paid off, and the mortgage company said that since my name is not on the mortgage, I am not able to assume the mortgage payments in the event of Mom's passing. I still need to talk with the mortgage company to ask for their advice about this future situation, but I am thinking I might be under a time crunch to resell the house in this situation. There is also a lien the government placed on the house because of my Dad receiving coverage for care in the nursing home through Medicaid.
I am not sure how I want to deal with these things, but I am really overwhelmed by the amount of stuff. I realize the rapture could happen, when Jesus comes back and we are given new glorified bodies, and this could happen before I have to deal with inheriting Mom's house.
Earlier in 2022, I moved to an apartment in a new city that is about an hour away from my mom's house. I moved for a job I was hired at, and also to live closer to my special needs brother so I can visit him more often at the care center he lives at. I kind of feel like I am more at home in this area close to my brother and at a job that is better than a lot of jobs I have had in the past. So I feel like staying at this apartment and reselling my mom's house if I inherit it in the future, so I can continue life here. I don't know if my mom's health would go downhill in such a way that I would need to move back to her house to take care of her, or if I could get others to help.
So I wanted to ask for advice about how I should go about clearing stuff out of the house, or how involved I should be or not be. I only go home to my mom's house about once a month on the weekend, or during my vacation. Mom will not allow my friends or other people from church to come to the house to help out, so I have to do it myself. I would work on it by filling up my car with stuff and taking it to Good Will. I think I want to start working on it in the near future. I am uncomfortable with renting a dumpster and throwing good stuff out that could be reused by others. If I am left with it in the future when my mom passes, I may call a junk removal service, but I am thinking that this could cost thousands or tens of thousands of dollars with all the stuff. If I inherit the house, I would have to deal with removing or selling all the furniture too, and that has me overwhelmed. I am not sure I would post it on Facebook Marketplace, because I am not sure if having strangers to the house when I am by myself in the house is a safe idea. Although at a past apartment I moved out of, I posted furniture on Craigslist and had strangers buy the stuff, and I was fine by myself with strangers coming in. I am not sure about my ability to take a bunch of vacation time or a bunch of weekend trips there if my mom passes to get rid of all the stuff.
What I am really struggling with now, is how often do I want to take weekend trips to work on this. If I wanted to, I could go there almost every weekend. Or I can just go once a month or maybe every other weekend. I am thinking that if I go almost every weekend, that it will negatively affect my physical health. I am kind of in the routine of going to the fitness center near me on the weekend for cardio exercise for heart health. For some reason on the weekdays after work, I like to relax more and not drive out to the fitness center, but I tend to just want to go on a walk outside after work. So that leaves me to going to the fitness center on the weekend usually on Saturday, and my membership is only valid at my current city, not elsewhere. I usually exercise on the elliptical or treadmill for an hour. If I did not do this exercise regularly, I am thinking I could be more at risk for heart attack, and I am in my 40s, but maybe I am worrying too much.
The other dilemma I am struggling with is how frequently I just want the weekend to be a more relaxing weekend, and a time where I can work on my own hobbies or do chores at my apartment. If I would decide to go to my mom's house a lot more weekends, this would force me to do more of my chores and housekeeping on weeknights after work. Usually after work I tend to want to relax more and not work on as many tasks. What I am wondering about is how much does God want me to rest. If I take weekend trips on top of working Monday through Friday, I could be working seven days a week and not taking a day of rest for myself. And there are hobbies I want to pursue more, and maybe read some books, or visit some nice parks on the weekend. Since I like to go to my mom's house with my vacation time, I can use that time to work on it instead of many many weekends. If I inherit the house after my mom's passing than I may be under a lot more pressure to take weekend trips or vacation time to clear it out a lot more quickly.
When I do take weekend trips home to my mom's house, I find that on Friday night, I like to just relax and text people, maybe go to a restaurant with my mom, and not work on much. I am thinking about limiting distraction to my work by using app blocking software that sets time limits or can completely block texting.
I have also been wondering if I would want to just sell the house as is, with the stuff still in it, if I inherit the house. My dad's hoarding problem is not really my problem, so I don't have to carry the burden of it. I might want to totally disband from tons of weekend trips, or from taking out a loan to pay tens of thousands for it to be cleared by a junk removal service. It seems like a very highly involved burden that is too heavy, and I might just not want to deal with it, by selling as is.
The other issue to discuss is that the mortgage for the house is only three fourths paid off, and the mortgage company said that since my name is not on the mortgage, I am not able to assume the mortgage payments in the event of Mom's passing. I still need to talk with the mortgage company to ask for their advice about this future situation, but I am thinking I might be under a time crunch to resell the house in this situation. There is also a lien the government placed on the house because of my Dad receiving coverage for care in the nursing home through Medicaid.
I am not sure how I want to deal with these things, but I am really overwhelmed by the amount of stuff. I realize the rapture could happen, when Jesus comes back and we are given new glorified bodies, and this could happen before I have to deal with inheriting Mom's house.
Last edited: