Overwhelmed by the amount of stuff left in Mom's house and thinking I may have to clear it out one day

[Belonging to Abba]

Near the end of 2022, my dad passed a way and left a lot of material possessions at my mom's house. There is stuff piled up almost to the ceiling in the garage and in a room that was dad's office, and those rooms are completely full lengthwise and width-wise. The shed in the backyard also has a lot of stuff in it too, including a ride around lawn mower that is broken. A lot of the stuff is clutter or junk, like old books or computer equipment, car parts, etc. I feel very overwhelmed with the idea that I may have to clear out the house in the future, if I inherit the house, in order to resell it. There is a significant amount of stuff in the other rooms of the house too, but not as much. My mom is currently 75 years old and we are located in the U.S.A.

Earlier in 2022, I moved to an apartment in a new city that is about an hour away from my mom's house. I moved for a job I was hired at, and also to live closer to my special needs brother so I can visit him more often at the care center he lives at. I kind of feel like I am more at home in this area close to my brother and at a job that is better than a lot of jobs I have had in the past. So I feel like staying at this apartment and reselling my mom's house if I inherit it in the future, so I can continue life here. I don't know if my mom's health would go downhill in such a way that I would need to move back to her house to take care of her, or if I could get others to help.

So I wanted to ask for advice about how I should go about clearing stuff out of the house, or how involved I should be or not be. I only go home to my mom's house about once a month on the weekend, or during my vacation. Mom will not allow my friends or other people from church to come to the house to help out, so I have to do it myself. I would work on it by filling up my car with stuff and taking it to Good Will. I think I want to start working on it in the near future. I am uncomfortable with renting a dumpster and throwing good stuff out that could be reused by others. If I am left with it in the future when my mom passes, I may call a junk removal service, but I am thinking that this could cost thousands or tens of thousands of dollars with all the stuff. If I inherit the house, I would have to deal with removing or selling all the furniture too, and that has me overwhelmed. I am not sure I would post it on Facebook Marketplace, because I am not sure if having strangers to the house when I am by myself in the house is a safe idea. Although at a past apartment I moved out of, I posted furniture on Craigslist and had strangers buy the stuff, and I was fine by myself with strangers coming in. I am not sure about my ability to take a bunch of vacation time or a bunch of weekend trips there if my mom passes to get rid of all the stuff.

What I am really struggling with now, is how often do I want to take weekend trips to work on this. If I wanted to, I could go there almost every weekend. Or I can just go once a month or maybe every other weekend. I am thinking that if I go almost every weekend, that it will negatively affect my physical health. I am kind of in the routine of going to the fitness center near me on the weekend for cardio exercise for heart health. For some reason on the weekdays after work, I like to relax more and not drive out to the fitness center, but I tend to just want to go on a walk outside after work. So that leaves me to going to the fitness center on the weekend usually on Saturday, and my membership is only valid at my current city, not elsewhere. I usually exercise on the elliptical or treadmill for an hour. If I did not do this exercise regularly, I am thinking I could be more at risk for heart attack, and I am in my 40s, but maybe I am worrying too much.

The other dilemma I am struggling with is how frequently I just want the weekend to be a more relaxing weekend, and a time where I can work on my own hobbies or do chores at my apartment. If I would decide to go to my mom's house a lot more weekends, this would force me to do more of my chores and housekeeping on weeknights after work. Usually after work I tend to want to relax more and not work on as many tasks. What I am wondering about is how much does God want me to rest. If I take weekend trips on top of working Monday through Friday, I could be working seven days a week and not taking a day of rest for myself. And there are hobbies I want to pursue more, and maybe read some books, or visit some nice parks on the weekend. Since I like to go to my mom's house with my vacation time, I can use that time to work on it instead of many many weekends. If I inherit the house after my mom's passing than I may be under a lot more pressure to take weekend trips or vacation time to clear it out a lot more quickly.

When I do take weekend trips home to my mom's house, I find that on Friday night, I like to just relax and text people, maybe go to a restaurant with my mom, and not work on much. I am thinking about limiting distraction to my work by using app blocking software that sets time limits or can completely block texting.

I have also been wondering if I would want to just sell the house as is, with the stuff still in it, if I inherit the house. My dad's hoarding problem is not really my problem, so I don't have to carry the burden of it. I might want to totally disband from tons of weekend trips, or from taking out a loan to pay tens of thousands for it to be cleared by a junk removal service. It seems like a very highly involved burden that is too heavy, and I might just not want to deal with it, by selling as is.

The other issue to discuss is that the mortgage for the house is only three fourths paid off, and the mortgage company said that since my name is not on the mortgage, I am not able to assume the mortgage payments in the event of Mom's passing. I still need to talk with the mortgage company to ask for their advice about this future situation, but I am thinking I might be under a time crunch to resell the house in this situation. There is also a lien the government placed on the house because of my Dad receiving coverage for care in the nursing home through Medicaid.

I am not sure how I want to deal with these things, but I am really overwhelmed by the amount of stuff. I realize the rapture could happen, when Jesus comes back and we are given new glorified bodies, and this could happen before I have to deal with inheriting Mom's house.

 

[Richard T]

They do have professional estate sales. My grandmother who had quite a few antiques had an auction. You won't make as much as they take a large cut though up to 50%. IF you do end up hiring anyone, be sure to inventory the valuables or perhaps even move some the a safety deposit box if needed.

 

[public hermit]

Near the end of 2022, my dad passed a way and left a lot of material possessions at my mom's house. There is stuff piled up almost to the ceiling in the garage and in a room that was dad's office, and those rooms are completely full lengthwise and width-wise. The shed in the backyard also has a lot of stuff in it too, including a ride around lawn mower that is broken. A lot of the stuff is clutter or junk, like old books or computer equipment, car parts, etc. I feel very overwhelmed with the idea that I may have to clear out the house in the future, if I inherit the house, in order to resell it. There is a significant amount of stuff in the other rooms of the house too, but not as much. My mom is currently 75 years old and we are located in the U.S.A.

Earlier in 2022, I moved to an apartment in a new city that is about an hour away from my mom's house. I moved for a job I was hired at, and also to live closer to my special needs brother so I can visit him more often at the care center he lives at. I kind of feel like I am more at home in this area close to my brother and at a job that is better than a lot of jobs I have had in the past. So I feel like staying at this apartment and reselling my mom's house if I inherit it in the future, so I can continue life here. I don't know if my mom's health would go downhill in such a way that I would need to move back to her house to take care of her, or if I could get others to help.

So I wanted to ask for advice about how I should go about clearing stuff out of the house, or how involved I should be or not be. I only go home to my mom's house about once a month on the weekend, or during my vacation. Mom will not allow my friends or other people from church to come to the house to help out, so I have to do it myself. I would work on it by filling up my car with stuff and taking it to Good Will. I think I want to start working on it in the near future. I am uncomfortable with renting a dumpster and throwing good stuff out that could be reused by others. If I am left with it in the future when my mom passes, I may call a junk removal service, but I am thinking that this could cost thousands or tens of thousands of dollars with all the stuff. If I inherit the house, I would have to deal with removing or selling all the furniture too, and that has me overwhelmed. I am not sure I would post it on Facebook Marketplace, because I am not sure if having strangers to the house when I am by myself in the house is a safe idea. Although at a past apartment I moved out of, I posted furniture on Craigslist and had strangers buy the stuff, and I was fine by myself with strangers coming in. I am not sure about my ability to take a bunch of vacation time or a bunch of weekend trips there if my mom passes to get rid of all the stuff.

What I am really struggling with now, is how often do I want to take weekend trips to work on this. If I wanted to, I could go there almost every weekend. Or I can just go once a month or maybe every other weekend. I am thinking that if I go almost every weekend, that it will negatively affect my physical health. I am kind of in the routine of going to the fitness center near me on the weekend for cardio exercise for heart health. For some reason on the weekdays after work, I like to relax more and not drive out to the fitness center, but I tend to just want to go on a walk outside after work. So that leaves me to going to the fitness center on the weekend usually on Saturday, and my membership is only valid at my current city, not elsewhere. I usually exercise on the elliptical or treadmill for an hour. If I did not do this exercise regularly, I am thinking I could be more at risk for heart attack, and I am in my 40s, but maybe I am worrying too much.

The other dilemma I am struggling with is how frequently I just want the weekend to be a more relaxing weekend, and a time where I can work on my own hobbies or do chores at my apartment. If I would decide to go to my mom's house a lot more weekends, this would force me to do more of my chores and housekeeping on weeknights after work. Usually after work I tend to want to relax more and not work on as many tasks. What I am wondering about is how much does God want me to rest. If I take weekend trips on top of working Monday through Friday, I could be working seven days a week and not taking a day of rest for myself. And there are hobbies I want to pursue more, and maybe read some books, or visit some nice parks on the weekend. Since I like to go to my mom's house with my vacation time, I can use that time to work on it instead of many many weekends. If I inherit the house after my mom's passing than I may be under a lot more pressure to take weekend trips or vacation time to clear it out a lot more quickly.

When I do take weekend trips home to my mom's house, I find that on Friday night, I like to just relax and text people, maybe go to a restaurant with my mom, and not work on much. I am thinking about limiting distraction to my work by using app blocking software that sets time limits or can completely block texting.

I have also been wondering if I would want to just sell the house as is, with the stuff still in it, if I inherit the house. My dad's hoarding problem is not really my problem, so I don't have to carry the burden of it. I might want to totally disband from tons of weekend trips, or from taking out a loan to pay tens of thousands for it to be cleared by a junk removal service. It seems like a very highly involved burden that is too heavy, and I might just not want to deal with it, by selling as is.

The other issue to discuss is that the mortgage for the house is only three fourths paid off, and the mortgage company said that since my name is not on the mortgage, I am not able to assume the mortgage payments in the event of Mom's passing. I still need to talk with the mortgage company to ask for their advice about this future situation, but I am thinking I might be under a time crunch to resell the house in this situation. There is also a lien the government placed on the house because of my Dad receiving coverage for care in the nursing home through Medicaid.

I am not sure how I want to deal with these things, but I am really overwhelmed by the amount of stuff. I realize the rapture could happen, when Jesus comes back and we are given new glorified bodies, and this could happen before I have to deal with inheriting Mom's house.

Don't discount the possibility of getting a dumpster. Look closely at what you have. There might be plenty of trash. I just helped a friend in a similar situation. He got a thirty yard dumpster for about $600. Three of us filled it in three days. It was here and gone in a week, and it made a huge difference. His dad was a hoarder, for sure, though.

 

[Diamond72]

A lot of the stuff is clutter or junk, like old books or computer equipment, car parts, etc. I feel very overwhelmed with the idea that I may have to clear out the house in the future, if I inherit the house, in order to resell it.

There are people that do that for a living. They have estate sales and they keep 20% and give you the rest. Just make sure they are honest and will not steal your money. It is nice to donate it also. That way they can sort though it and decide what to sell and what to throw away. I like habit for humanity because they do more to help people.

 

[com7fy8]

Most valuable is your prayer with God and visiting with your brother and sharing with Christian people and with your mother.

And as you take care of what matters the most . . . you can get clarification and find what works even easily, compared to how you *could* be making things hard now.

 

[bèlla]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It's a common problem that should serve as a lesson for others whose parents have retired. It's best dealt with sooner than later because the end result is what you're experiencing now and it's overwhelming. You may be better off having it hauled away so you can enjoy your time with her and deal with the mortgage. If you're only coming once a month it may take longer than you imagine.

My mother and her sisters experienced the same and it took them a few weeks with more than one person. I didn't get involved. I don't believe in death cleaning and feel it's the responsibility of the homeowner to down size and make things easier on their loved ones.

It's a growing phenomenon that leaves the family feeling frustrated and upset. Oftentimes the parent is dictating and refusing assistance which amplifies their stress. It's unfortunate all around. Find the solution you can handle. Don't try to be superman. You don't have any help and must be realistic. You still have other things to attend to. Deal with the low hanging fruit then tackle the hard stuff.

~bella

 

[Solo81]

We're sorting through my aunt's house/belongings and to retain everything that has potential re-sale value will take many months.
So, you can try sort everything over the course of the next 2yrs
or
Hire a dumpster and be ruthless.

Talk to your mother first though. Find out if she knew of any items that are worth retaining.

My aunt loved buying clothes and handbags. Every single one of them is going to a landfill

 

[eleos1954]

Near the end of 2022, my dad passed a way and left a lot of material possessions at my mom's house. There is stuff piled up almost to the ceiling in the garage and in a room that was dad's office, and those rooms are completely full lengthwise and width-wise. The shed in the backyard also has a lot of stuff in it too, including a ride around lawn mower that is broken. A lot of the stuff is clutter or junk, like old books or computer equipment, car parts, etc. I feel very overwhelmed with the idea that I may have to clear out the house in the future, if I inherit the house, in order to resell it. There is a significant amount of stuff in the other rooms of the house too, but not as much. My mom is currently 75 years old and we are located in the U.S.A.

Earlier in 2022, I moved to an apartment in a new city that is about an hour away from my mom's house. I moved for a job I was hired at, and also to live closer to my special needs brother so I can visit him more often at the care center he lives at. I kind of feel like I am more at home in this area close to my brother and at a job that is better than a lot of jobs I have had in the past. So I feel like staying at this apartment and reselling my mom's house if I inherit it in the future, so I can continue life here. I don't know if my mom's health would go downhill in such a way that I would need to move back to her house to take care of her, or if I could get others to help.

So I wanted to ask for advice about how I should go about clearing stuff out of the house, or how involved I should be or not be. I only go home to my mom's house about once a month on the weekend, or during my vacation. Mom will not allow my friends or other people from church to come to the house to help out, so I have to do it myself. I would work on it by filling up my car with stuff and taking it to Good Will. I think I want to start working on it in the near future. I am uncomfortable with renting a dumpster and throwing good stuff out that could be reused by others. If I am left with it in the future when my mom passes, I may call a junk removal service, but I am thinking that this could cost thousands or tens of thousands of dollars with all the stuff. If I inherit the house, I would have to deal with removing or selling all the furniture too, and that has me overwhelmed. I am not sure I would post it on Facebook Marketplace, because I am not sure if having strangers to the house when I am by myself in the house is a safe idea. Although at a past apartment I moved out of, I posted furniture on Craigslist and had strangers buy the stuff, and I was fine by myself with strangers coming in. I am not sure about my ability to take a bunch of vacation time or a bunch of weekend trips there if my mom passes to get rid of all the stuff.

What I am really struggling with now, is how often do I want to take weekend trips to work on this. If I wanted to, I could go there almost every weekend. Or I can just go once a month or maybe every other weekend. I am thinking that if I go almost every weekend, that it will negatively affect my physical health. I am kind of in the routine of going to the fitness center near me on the weekend for cardio exercise for heart health. For some reason on the weekdays after work, I like to relax more and not drive out to the fitness center, but I tend to just want to go on a walk outside after work. So that leaves me to going to the fitness center on the weekend usually on Saturday, and my membership is only valid at my current city, not elsewhere. I usually exercise on the elliptical or treadmill for an hour. If I did not do this exercise regularly, I am thinking I could be more at risk for heart attack, and I am in my 40s, but maybe I am worrying too much.

The other dilemma I am struggling with is how frequently I just want the weekend to be a more relaxing weekend, and a time where I can work on my own hobbies or do chores at my apartment. If I would decide to go to my mom's house a lot more weekends, this would force me to do more of my chores and housekeeping on weeknights after work. Usually after work I tend to want to relax more and not work on as many tasks. What I am wondering about is how much does God want me to rest. If I take weekend trips on top of working Monday through Friday, I could be working seven days a week and not taking a day of rest for myself. And there are hobbies I want to pursue more, and maybe read some books, or visit some nice parks on the weekend. Since I like to go to my mom's house with my vacation time, I can use that time to work on it instead of many many weekends. If I inherit the house after my mom's passing than I may be under a lot more pressure to take weekend trips or vacation time to clear it out a lot more quickly.

When I do take weekend trips home to my mom's house, I find that on Friday night, I like to just relax and text people, maybe go to a restaurant with my mom, and not work on much. I am thinking about limiting distraction to my work by using app blocking software that sets time limits or can completely block texting.

I have also been wondering if I would want to just sell the house as is, with the stuff still in it, if I inherit the house. My dad's hoarding problem is not really my problem, so I don't have to carry the burden of it. I might want to totally disband from tons of weekend trips, or from taking out a loan to pay tens of thousands for it to be cleared by a junk removal service. It seems like a very highly involved burden that is too heavy, and I might just not want to deal with it, by selling as is.

The other issue to discuss is that the mortgage for the house is only three fourths paid off, and the mortgage company said that since my name is not on the mortgage, I am not able to assume the mortgage payments in the event of Mom's passing. I still need to talk with the mortgage company to ask for their advice about this future situation, but I am thinking I might be under a time crunch to resell the house in this situation. There is also a lien the government placed on the house because of my Dad receiving coverage for care in the nursing home through Medicaid.

I am not sure how I want to deal with these things, but I am really overwhelmed by the amount of stuff. I realize the rapture could happen, when Jesus comes back and we are given new glorified bodies, and this could happen before I have to deal with inheriting Mom's house.

You need to talk to your mom about this and she should put something in place. If she don't have a will then she should at least put you or someone as beneficiary of her estate (on the title of the property-through the court house). Since the house is 3/4 paid off then the property is likely worth more than the debt. A basic will is easy to do online (I use Rocket Lawyer) ... anyone with real estate holdings (regardless of age) should have one!!!!

If a beneficiary on the house title is designated then the beneficiary has a time frame to settle the estate (small estates 6 months or less) ... the beneficiary can make payments on the mortgage through the estate during the time frame.

Don't know about the government lien thing ... you need to look at the paperwork she has regarding that.

 

[JohnB445]

I have a similar situation but it is not as bad as your describe. Garage is filled with junk, old stuff from the 2000's like those old CRT TV, old computers, books, trinkets, you name it.

None of it is my own stuff, they don't clean or get rid of the stuff. I'm not sure it's worth anything anymore, a old computer from 1998? a TV made in the year 2000, although it is a sony brand.

I will see how I can get rid of it all, maybe if I am allowed a big dumpster and I just throw it all away whatever is allowed, anything else to the recycling. Good news is my parents are not attached the materials and are willing to get rid of it, they just think it may be worth some money which is why they hold onto it, they are allowing me to help clean it out, it's just that I know after I DO clean it out, 1 year later it will be full of junk again.

Because that's exactly what happened after I helped them with the garage sale.

 

[Diamond72]

I'm not sure it's worth anything anymore, a old computer from 1998?

They have about five or ten dollars worth of gold and other material in them. For recycling computers, you might want to check with Best Buy or other electronics retailers, as they often have programs specifically for electronic waste.

I have a box full of old wires ready to melt down for the copper. I keep adding to it but the box could be taken and recycled any time. I would get stuff packed up and ready to go so when they do come in to haul it off they will take less time and charge less money. On the hoarders program they just throw it all in a dumpster. I do not know what they do with it from there. There are people who specialize in cleaning up messes like that.

There could very well be hidden treasures in there. We tell stories about that all the time.

BTW if you have a vowel A E I O U then you use "an" rather than "a". I forget a lot of stuff they teach in English also.

 

[Belonging to Abba]

Most valuable is your prayer with God and visiting with your brother and sharing with Christian people and with your mother.

And as you take care of what matters the most . . . you can get clarification and find what works even easily, compared to how you *could* be making things hard now.

Do you mean I shouldn't make dealing with it a major priority and I should just relax more of my weekends and make prayer more of a priority?

 

[Belonging to Abba]

I am very involved in researching software and related work. So I like more of my weekends to just stay at my apartment and it is more relaxing that way.

 

[CoreyD]

Near the end of 2022, my dad passed a way and left a lot of material possessions at my mom's house. There is stuff piled up almost to the ceiling in the garage and in a room that was dad's office, and those rooms are completely full lengthwise and width-wise. The shed in the backyard also has a lot of stuff in it too, including a ride around lawn mower that is broken. A lot of the stuff is clutter or junk, like old books or computer equipment, car parts, etc. I feel very overwhelmed with the idea that I may have to clear out the house in the future, if I inherit the house, in order to resell it. There is a significant amount of stuff in the other rooms of the house too, but not as much. My mom is currently 75 years old and we are located in the U.S.A.

Earlier in 2022, I moved to an apartment in a new city that is about an hour away from my mom's house. I moved for a job I was hired at, and also to live closer to my special needs brother so I can visit him more often at the care center he lives at. I kind of feel like I am more at home in this area close to my brother and at a job that is better than a lot of jobs I have had in the past. So I feel like staying at this apartment and reselling my mom's house if I inherit it in the future, so I can continue life here. I don't know if my mom's health would go downhill in such a way that I would need to move back to her house to take care of her, or if I could get others to help.

So I wanted to ask for advice about how I should go about clearing stuff out of the house, or how involved I should be or not be. I only go home to my mom's house about once a month on the weekend, or during my vacation. Mom will not allow my friends or other people from church to come to the house to help out, so I have to do it myself. I would work on it by filling up my car with stuff and taking it to Good Will. I think I want to start working on it in the near future. I am uncomfortable with renting a dumpster and throwing good stuff out that could be reused by others. If I am left with it in the future when my mom passes, I may call a junk removal service, but I am thinking that this could cost thousands or tens of thousands of dollars with all the stuff. If I inherit the house, I would have to deal with removing or selling all the furniture too, and that has me overwhelmed. I am not sure I would post it on Facebook Marketplace, because I am not sure if having strangers to the house when I am by myself in the house is a safe idea. Although at a past apartment I moved out of, I posted furniture on Craigslist and had strangers buy the stuff, and I was fine by myself with strangers coming in. I am not sure about my ability to take a bunch of vacation time or a bunch of weekend trips there if my mom passes to get rid of all the stuff.

What I am really struggling with now, is how often do I want to take weekend trips to work on this. If I wanted to, I could go there almost every weekend. Or I can just go once a month or maybe every other weekend. I am thinking that if I go almost every weekend, that it will negatively affect my physical health. I am kind of in the routine of going to the fitness center near me on the weekend for cardio exercise for heart health. For some reason on the weekdays after work, I like to relax more and not drive out to the fitness center, but I tend to just want to go on a walk outside after work. So that leaves me to going to the fitness center on the weekend usually on Saturday, and my membership is only valid at my current city, not elsewhere. I usually exercise on the elliptical or treadmill for an hour. If I did not do this exercise regularly, I am thinking I could be more at risk for heart attack, and I am in my 40s, but maybe I am worrying too much.

The other dilemma I am struggling with is how frequently I just want the weekend to be a more relaxing weekend, and a time where I can work on my own hobbies or do chores at my apartment. If I would decide to go to my mom's house a lot more weekends, this would force me to do more of my chores and housekeeping on weeknights after work. Usually after work I tend to want to relax more and not work on as many tasks. What I am wondering about is how much does God want me to rest. If I take weekend trips on top of working Monday through Friday, I could be working seven days a week and not taking a day of rest for myself. And there are hobbies I want to pursue more, and maybe read some books, or visit some nice parks on the weekend. Since I like to go to my mom's house with my vacation time, I can use that time to work on it instead of many many weekends. If I inherit the house after my mom's passing than I may be under a lot more pressure to take weekend trips or vacation time to clear it out a lot more quickly.

When I do take weekend trips home to my mom's house, I find that on Friday night, I like to just relax and text people, maybe go to a restaurant with my mom, and not work on much. I am thinking about limiting distraction to my work by using app blocking software that sets time limits or can completely block texting.

I have also been wondering if I would want to just sell the house as is, with the stuff still in it, if I inherit the house. My dad's hoarding problem is not really my problem, so I don't have to carry the burden of it. I might want to totally disband from tons of weekend trips, or from taking out a loan to pay tens of thousands for it to be cleared by a junk removal service. It seems like a very highly involved burden that is too heavy, and I might just not want to deal with it, by selling as is.

The other issue to discuss is that the mortgage for the house is only three fourths paid off, and the mortgage company said that since my name is not on the mortgage, I am not able to assume the mortgage payments in the event of Mom's passing. I still need to talk with the mortgage company to ask for their advice about this future situation, but I am thinking I might be under a time crunch to resell the house in this situation. There is also a lien the government placed on the house because of my Dad receiving coverage for care in the nursing home through Medicaid.

I am not sure how I want to deal with these things, but I am really overwhelmed by the amount of stuff. I realize the rapture could happen, when Jesus comes back and we are given new glorified bodies, and this could happen before I have to deal with inheriting Mom's house.

My condolences.
My only advice would be Jesus'.
Matthew 6:27, 34
27 And who of you by worrying is able to add one cubit to his stature?
34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Sufficient to the day is its own trouble.

 

[com7fy8]

Do you mean I shouldn't make dealing with it a major priority and I should just relax more of my weekends and make prayer more of a priority?

Well, I don't know how long you are supposed to have to get it done. But it could be good to work on it so you don't get stuck with it all at once if your mother moves out. Of course, if she is gone, then you might be able to bring in friends to help. But if there is no reason to get it done, immediately or soon, I would say keep it in its proper place >

Make sure you do the praying you need to do, and share with your Jesus family people who are good for you, and make sure you share with your brother. But, also, by going to work on clearing things out, this can also mean time with your mother.

I think of this > may be you can split a weekend > don't go there for the whole weekend, at least at times.