Mentoring Teen Girls

[divineelements]

Hey Everyone!

I was recently informed by a youth worker that one of our young girls is having sex. Due to the waywardness of the world, I have to say that I wasn't surprised, but very deeply concerned. It pushed me into action (as anything regarding youth ministry usually does!)

What I am hoping that everyone could help me with is how to come up with programs regarding teen sexuality and other issues pertaining to girls. We currently have a program for the boys that is quite successful.

Examples of what has worked for your youth department would be very helpful.

Thank you in advance for your advice and thoughts!

Divine Elements

 

[lace]

Why cant you just use the same program the boys are doing,and just swapping a few things around for the girls?

 

[divineelements]

I could use the same program, but I am of the impression (after being around our church neighborhood for 5 years) that our boys need a program for them and the girls need their own program.

 

[divineelements]

I could use the same program, but I am of the impression (after being around our church neighborhood for 5 years) that our boys need a program for them and the girls need their own program.

 

[lace]

I could use the same program, but I am of the impression (after being around our church neighborhood for 5 years) that our boys need a program for them and the girls need their own program.

HI again

Why dont you really dig deep into gods heart and see what he wants for the girls

Its amazing what he gives you.
He wanted us to do girls brigade,and spoke into my friend heart-(And he use the internet for her to find it)-She was obedient...and it was a hit...all up we had 54 girls and the lord provided the money-cloths-and all marterails for free.
Mind you we had to really trust the lord and rely on him always....

Good luck
And may the lord Bless you & the girls

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

That's a good idea, woudl it be possible to share the boys program with us,like how the program works and all, it could help us, be able to help you, to use some of it to build off of.


I know at my church they have what is called Princess Day I am going to add some of what we did and also some things I think you all could do


, where you would have it at the church girls raged from ages of 7 to 18 I believe, during that day, different people from the church(women) would speak on how important and special it is to be a girl and also would include about saving yourself to marriage, how everyone's body is special and all. But before they got talking the girls were broken up by ages I believe 12 and up,9 to 11, 7-10, can't remember if that is how they were broken up exactly but I believe this is close. The girls 7-10 would end up doing projects like making braclets and all. Then some leaders would talk to them and tell them how important it was and special it is to be a girl. Could even share what they like about being a girl. 9-11 could talk about how it is important that others respect you and your body, how it's a living vessel for God and it's important to take care of his temple. Also could talk about making sure that God is #1 in their lives, how it's important to they don't let anyone disrespect themselves or their bodies. Could do a written promise possibly to promise to respect and love their bodies and to remember there body is God's temple, could ask questions, make comments and all. Then the older group, actually goes into how waiting until marriage is important, how it's not like what people see on the tv and movies, how is important to resist peer pressure, also to reasure them that you all are there for them. How if they have any problems they can come to you all. How to not be afraid to come to them if there is a problem or an emergancy. Could also have them do a written promise. Could also talk about if they have already had sex, how they can stop, or if they don't feel they can there is help for them or if they have already had sex posssibly how to not feel ashamed and all, how they can start over again, let them know that they have to respect themselves,their bodies and God before boys come into the picture, how it's important to set limits on what you do and don't do and how you should let others cross those lines. Also how it's important to be careful because of the type of world we live in and all. Also how one thing can lead to another, and how it's important to have control over your body and all.



I hope this helps


p.s. about the one girl, it could be a good idea to even talk to her


P.s.s at princess day everyone took pictures and all, got little bags(with alittle bookmark in them,pen,and some other little things. It was one of those days when you left you were just so happy to be a girl and reminded you just how special it is tobe a girl and how we should celebrate it.

 

[heymikey80]

Mmm, I'm not sure what actually works for girls. I work with some girls, and I've been careful to mention every few weeks in Sunday School the emphasis Christians have historically placed on sexual purity.

This is sort of a "teach through your role" method rather than an explicit focus on sexuality. I try to make it clear, but not to make it divisive. People who make mistakes already have one foot out the door. We need to be humbly corrective of any sin, knowing that we were also subject to the same sins in our lives. "Anyone who looks on a woman with lust has committed adultery with her in his heart."

A few points I emphasize.

• Christians died for their outward sexual purity. Seriously, a survey of early martyrs reveals this to be a pervasive way non-Christians identified Christians and had them executed.
• I actually listened through a discussion with some in my youth group about the goals of dating in their generation. I was kind of surprised by their responses, but I'd urge you to simply ask what the goals of dating are, and what the goals of their friends are. I pointed out, that even in my (1980's) dating scene we wanted to develop and deepen relationships, connect better with the people we were dating. The culture seems to have turned girls into objects wherever I see dating now. It's odd that a culture thought to be so much more focused on relationships seems so shallow on one-on-one dating. Some call that hypocrisy.
• I've also emphasized that the way Christians view sexuality is not one of the "don't swear, drink, smoke or chew // or go out with those who do" pieces of "cultural Christianity" in the USA. It is old. It is constant. It is Scriptural. And it is identifying of Christians in all eras. 1 Cor 6 comes to mind as the most direct. There's also the point that Scripture often uses the term "pornea", the widest use of the term for "sins involving sexuality", when it talks about sex sin. That covers so many forms of sexuality that it's hard to know where it draws the line. Other Scriptures talk about sexual purity more generally (Ep 5), and address marriage as a living illustration of Christ's relationship with those He will save, the Church. I've gone as far as to say out loud, "You come to me with a drug problem, a drinking problem, a violence problem, and those things are one level of sin. But Scripture forces me to tell you, you come to me with a problem with sexuality, and we really need to get you help to deal with it before God. This can't keep happening in the hidden corners of your life. It's really significant, and we really want to help."
• Schools generally teach the machinery of sex. That's half the truth. We're not talking about the machinery of sex, we're talking about its reality in their world.
• Sexuality has a long-term psychological impact that also impacts on you spiritually. It can impact on your conscience longterm, either making you far more vulnerable to deep hurts, or far more calloused about whether human relationships can be meaningful. One reason even non-Christians emphasize sexuality within the longterm relationship of a marriage is that its impacts actually fit psychologically into a longterm relationship. It's easy to say "We're made that way." But if you really examine what sexuality does psychologically, it really does make sense in a close relationship.
• Something that has sometimes raised parental eyebrows: if your kids are really becoming committed to one another, then the real statement of Scripture here is that they express that commitment before God in marriage. A truly close commitment that is really drawing them to the next step in sexuality should be looked-at as a spiritual oneness that we're delaying for the wrong reasons. This is truly tough to get across to naive kids who see people in commitment and think their latest crush is the same thing. But it's important to stand with God, whether that's for a close spiritual relationship or against a shallow relationship.
• Having a hidden sex life does not improve your chances of deeply relational connections with guys. Sorry, it just doesn't. But it does split you away from people who really want deeply relational connections with you: parents, friends, mentors. You're essentially lying to them. Sexuality deepens in context of relationship -- outside that context it's voyeurism to guys, and it's actually reducing girls to sexual objects by and large.

Again, I've never really set this out in some organized way. These are points I've tried to get across while we're teaching through a book, or when the opportunity arises. Obviously it's important to me, and I think kids catch that. I'm not averse to working with people who try to sway me differently, and -- I'm familiar with the sexuality of this generation, and love the kids embroiled in it anyway. But I think it's critical that we get this data into their hands. I'm hopeful we connect with the next generation in a way that cuts to the heart of the matter openly, honestly, and compassionately.

There're resources out there, one of the more recent ones I was referred to was http://cpyu.org . http://ccef.org also has some published pocket-booklets as sort of an introduction to this kind of thing.

 

[HeWithoutSin]

I run a successful program for teen girls in my youth ministry. We have a program called "Sexing Away Satan's Shameful." Once a week I encourage the girls to explore their sexuality with a trusting older member of our church. Once we demystify the act of sex, the youth refrain from straying from God's light. PRAISE THE LORD!

 

[stephanieamber]

I think a really great thing to do is to somehow at least make sure you address the issue of why believers are striving for purity. I'm currently reading a book called "Soul Virgins" and as it is helping me understand my own quest for purity, it's really opening my eyes to the reality that many of the girls at my church are abstinent and have NO REASON WHY.

There are some workbooks and materials you could use to go through a discussion about this topic.

Either way, good luck. We had one of the girls at my church get pregnant last year and I know how much it can really just light a fire under your butt and get you to really intentionally seek to lead your girls.