Matthew 5:37, changing your mind and vows in the new testament?

[tuliplane]

A subject I think about/try to understand a lot is Biblical vows. I know the Old Testament had a lot to say about them and how they need to be kept. The New Testament doesn't seem to mention it much. There is Matthew 5:37, but it seems to be talking about oaths and not exactly vows, however, the premise might be similar. I know what Jesus meant when he was saying to 'let your yes be yes and no be no'; He was saying that you should mean what you say without having to have some fancy 'I swear on this' promise to go along with it.

What I am wondering is if it is sinful to change one's mind. Let's say you told someone you were going to do something or you told God you didn't want to do a certain thing and you meant yes and no in each of those situations. Later on though, something pressing came up and you were not able to do the thing you said you were going to do with that person or you were presented with new information which made you change your mind on the thing you told God you didn't want to do...would changing your mind be changing your word and going against Matthew 5:37? Once you say yes or no, should it always be yes or no lest it be sin?

Hopefully there is some good insight on this topic!

 

[angelsaroundme]

Whether it's to a person or God, I try to make as few promises as possible. Life is full of unexpected circumstances that can make it difficult and sometimes impossible to fulfill that promise or vow.

 

[Mr. M]

What I am wondering is if it is sinful to change one's mind. Let's say you told someone you were going to do something or you told God you didn't want to do a certain thing and you meant yes and no in each of those situations.

That depends on if a lame excuse is being offered.
Psalm 15:
1 Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle?
Who may dwell in Your holy hill?
2 He who walks uprightly,
And works righteousness,
And speaks the truth in his heart;
3 He who does not backbite with his tongue,
Nor does evil to his neighbor,
Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend;
4 In whose eyes a vile person is despised,
But he honors those who fear the Lord;
He who swears to his own hurt and does not change;
5 He who does not put out his money at usury,
Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things shall never be moved.

He who swears to his own hurt and does not change..
We have this expression: "I give you my word".
So for example, you give the youth pastor your word
that you will be available Saturday for an outreach.
Then you are given an opportunity to make a lot of
overtime, and you must decide, keep your word or
break it. If you speak the truth, and the pastor says,
all good, we have it covered, make your money, that
should be okay. But if you make up some excuse, as
some people often do, to get out of an obligation, then
you violate this principle of "swearing to your own hurt".
Sometimes our commitments demand more than we first
anticipated, and we have to suck it up.
As to the making of oaths, "it is better to not make, than
to make and break."
Here Jeremiah condemns false oaths:
Jeremiah 5:2 Though they say, ‘As the Lord lives,’
Surely they swear falsely.”
But then goes on to say:
Jeremiah 12:16 And it shall be, if they will learn carefully the ways of My people, to swear by My name, ‘As the Lord lives,’ as they taught My people to swear by Baal, then they shall be established in the midst of My people.

 

[Sabertooth]

The only "vows" that are valid in the NT are

1. your surrender to Jesus &
2. your covenant of marriage (unless your spouse breaks that vow first).

Legal contracts are "lite" vows usually with financial penalties, but of no eternal import.

What I am wondering is if it is sinful to change one's mind. Let's say you told someone you were going to do something or you told God you didn't want to do a certain thing and you meant yes and no in each of those situations. Later on though, something pressing came up and you were not able to do the thing you said you were going to do with that person or you were presented with new information which made you change your mind on the thing you told God you didn't want to do...would changing your mind be changing your word and going against Matthew 5:37? Once you say yes or no, should it always be yes or no lest it be sin?

The Holy Spirit is in the business of changing our minds.

See John 14:26 & Romans 12:1-2

You should declare what your intentions are, and follow through as long as

1. your conscience remains clear on the matter &
2. you retain the resources to carry it out.

 

[Soyeong]

A subject I think about/try to understand a lot is Biblical vows. I know the Old Testament had a lot to say about them and how they need to be kept. The New Testament doesn't seem to mention it much. There is Matthew 5:37, but it seems to be talking about oaths and not exactly vows, however, the premise might be similar. I know what Jesus meant when he was saying to 'let your yes be yes and no be no'; He was saying that you should mean what you say without having to have some fancy 'I swear on this' promise to go along with it.

What I am wondering is if it is sinful to change one's mind. Let's say you told someone you were going to do something or you told God you didn't want to do a certain thing and you meant yes and no in each of those situations. Later on though, something pressing came up and you were not able to do the thing you said you were going to do with that person or you were presented with new information which made you change your mind on the thing you told God you didn't want to do...would changing your mind be changing your word and going against Matthew 5:37? Once you say yes or no, should it always be yes or no lest it be sin?

Hopefully there is some good insight on this topic!

Leviticus 19:12 You shall not swear by my name falsely, and so profane the name of your God: I am the Lord.

Someone who was focused on obeying the spirit of the law would understand that the intent of this law is that we should not swear falsely, whereas someone who was focused on obeying the letter of this law exactly as written would understand that we are free to swear falsely just as long as swear by something other than God's name, which is the issue that Jesus was addressing in Matthew 5:33-37. So they were intentionally swearing by something other than God's name in order to add the weight of a vow to what they were saying while giving themselves room to back out of it if they needed to.

For what it is worth, Shem Tov's Hebrew Matthew translated Matthew 5:33-37 as specifically speaking against making false vows, which I think both the surrounding and broader context supports. God swore by Himself (Genesis 22:16-17, Hebrews 6:13, 7:21), Jesus swore under oath before the Sanhedrin (Matthew 26:63), and Paul also made an oath to the Corinthian church (2 Corinthians 1:23), and made solemn appeals to God (Romans 1:9, Galatians 1:20, Philippians 1:8; 1 Corinthians 15:31, 1 Thessalonians 5:27, Revelation 10:5-6). God commanded His people to swear by His name in Deuteronomy 6:13 and 10:20, and we see many examples of this throughout the OT, such as 1 Kings 2:23 and 1 Samuel 20:3, so Jesus should not be interpreted as speaking against obeying what God has commanded, especially because he upheld vows in Matthew 23:20-22, so he was speaking against making vows in general, but rather he was only speaking against false vows.

This was said in regard to Gentiles:

Jeremiah 12:16-17 And it shall come to pass, if they will diligently learn the ways of my people, to swear by my name, ‘As the Lord lives,’ even as they taught my people to swear by Baal, then they shall be built up in the midst of my people. 17 But if any nation will not listen, then I will utterly pluck it up and destroy it, declares the Lord.”

Within Judaism, there is room to repent of false vows, such as with Kol Nidre on the eve of Yom Kippur, that annuls all personal vows, such as when Jews were being forced to convert, or vows that are not or can't be upheld. There can be a correct heart behind that sees the purpose in needing to nullify vows that we should not have made, though this or an incorrect heart that seeks to abuse the system. There is also misconception of it giving the right to break our word or to make insincere promises with no legal force, but if someone took a vow with Kol Nidre in mind, then it would be insincere and the vow would remain in full force.

 

[eleos1954]

A subject I think about/try to understand a lot is Biblical vows. I know the Old Testament had a lot to say about them and how they need to be kept. The New Testament doesn't seem to mention it much. There is Matthew 5:37, but it seems to be talking about oaths and not exactly vows, however, the premise might be similar. I know what Jesus meant when he was saying to 'let your yes be yes and no be no'; He was saying that you should mean what you say without having to have some fancy 'I swear on this' promise to go along with it.

What I am wondering is if it is sinful to change one's mind. Let's say you told someone you were going to do something or you told God you didn't want to do a certain thing and you meant yes and no in each of those situations. Later on though, something pressing came up and you were not able to do the thing you said you were going to do with that person or you were presented with new information which made you change your mind on the thing you told God you didn't want to do...would changing your mind be changing your word and going against Matthew 5:37? Once you say yes or no, should it always be yes or no lest it be sin?

Hopefully there is some good insight on this topic!

This is in regard to promises amongst ourselves ...

As flawed humans who are bound to make many empty promises, God is full of grace. He loves us and has endless grace with our shortcomings.

We should certainly keep our word whenever possible. Sometimes it is not possible due to circumstances out of our control ... or ... perhaps more knowledge is discovered and to proceed as originally intended would not be wise. God knows these things.

It is wise counsel from the Lord Him telling us not to make oaths or vows and we should take heed. We shouldn't be frivolous about it.

Only God knows the intentions of the heart. He looks at motives.

Proverbs 16:2 People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives.

3. Proverbs 21:2 Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts.

so... what was the motive when the promise was made? seems to be the question we need to ask ourselves ... honorable or dishonorable? and to proceed with them ... honorable or dishonorable?

 

[tuliplane]

Whether it's to a person or God, I try to make as few promises as possible. Life is full of unexpected circumstances that can make it difficult and sometimes impossible to fulfill that promise or vow.

I've been trying...it's so hard not to. I can't seem to fully stop and at times I'm stumped wondering if I did make a promise or not to God (it can be hard to remember if I did!). In that verse, would you say that a simple yes or no is a 'vow'. Would it ever be permissible to change it if the intention was honest in the first place and not saying one thing and meaning another?

 

[tuliplane]

That depends on if a lame excuse is being offered.
Psalm 15:
1 Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle?
Who may dwell in Your holy hill?
2 He who walks uprightly,
And works righteousness,
And speaks the truth in his heart;
3 He who does not backbite with his tongue,
Nor does evil to his neighbor,
Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend;
4 In whose eyes a vile person is despised,
But he honors those who fear the Lord;
He who swears to his own hurt and does not change;
5 He who does not put out his money at usury,
Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things shall never be moved.

He who swears to his own hurt and does not change..
We have this expression: "I give you my word".
So for example, you give the youth pastor your word
that you will be available Saturday for an outreach.
Then you are given an opportunity to make a lot of
overtime, and you must decide, keep your word or
break it. If you speak the truth, and the pastor says,
all good, we have it covered, make your money, that
should be okay. But if you make up some excuse, as
some people often do, to get out of an obligation, then
you violate this principle of "swearing to your own hurt".
Sometimes our commitments demand more than we first
anticipated, and we have to suck it up.
As to the making of oaths, "it is better to not make, than
to make and break."
Here Jeremiah condemns false oaths:
Jeremiah 5:2 Though they say, ‘As the Lord lives,’
Surely they swear falsely.”
But then goes on to say:
Jeremiah 12:16 And it shall be, if they will learn carefully the ways of My people, to swear by My name, ‘As the Lord lives,’ as they taught My people to swear by Baal, then they shall be established in the midst of My people.

That makes sense...thought I would still probably feel guilty for changing plans in the scenario you gave.

 

[tuliplane]

The only "vows" that are valid in the NT are

1. your surrender to Jesus &
2. your covenant of marriage (unless your spouse breaks that vow first).

Legal contracts are "lite" vows usually with financial penalties, but of no eternal import.

The Holy Spirit is in the business of changing our minds.

See John 14:26 & Romans 12:1-2

You should declare what your intentions are, and follow through as long as

1. your conscience remains clear on the matter &
2. you retain the resources to carry it out.

But isn't the Holy Spirit changing our minds to transform us different than us just changing our views, intentions or desires about something?

 

[tuliplane]

Leviticus 19:12 You shall not swear by my name falsely, and so profane the name of your God: I am the Lord.

Someone who was focused on obeying the spirit of the law would understand that the intent of this law is that we should not swear falsely, whereas someone who was focused on obeying the letter of this law exactly as written would understand that we are free to swear falsely just as long as swear by something other than God's name, which is the issue that Jesus was addressing in Matthew 5:33-37. So they were intentionally swearing by something other than God's name in order to add the weight of a vow to what they were saying while giving themselves room to back out of it if they needed to.

For what it is worth, Shem Tov's Hebrew Matthew translated Matthew 5:33-37 as specifically speaking against making false vows, which I think both the surrounding and broader context supports. God swore by Himself (Genesis 22:16-17, Hebrews 6:13, 7:21), Jesus swore under oath before the Sanhedrin (Matthew 26:63), and Paul also made an oath to the Corinthian church (2 Corinthians 1:23), and made solemn appeals to God (Romans 1:9, Galatians 1:20, Philippians 1:8; 1 Corinthians 15:31, 1 Thessalonians 5:27, Revelation 10:5-6). God commanded His people to swear by His name in Deuteronomy 6:13 and 10:20, and we see many examples of this throughout the OT, such as 1 Kings 2:23 and 1 Samuel 20:3, so Jesus should not be interpreted as speaking against obeying what God has commanded, especially because he upheld vows in Matthew 23:20-22, so he was speaking against making vows in general, but rather he was only speaking against false vows.

This was said in regard to Gentiles:

Jeremiah 12:16-17 And it shall come to pass, if they will diligently learn the ways of my people, to swear by my name, ‘As the Lord lives,’ even as they taught my people to swear by Baal, then they shall be built up in the midst of my people. 17 But if any nation will not listen, then I will utterly pluck it up and destroy it, declares the Lord.”

Within Judaism, there is room to repent of false vows, such as with Kol Nidre on the eve of Yom Kippur, that annuls all personal vows, such as when Jews were being forced to convert, or vows that are not or can't be upheld. There can be a correct heart behind that sees the purpose in needing to nullify vows that we should not have made, though this or an incorrect heart that seeks to abuse the system. There is also misconception of it giving the right to break our word or to make insincere promises with no legal force, but if someone took a vow with Kol Nidre in mind, then it would be insincere and the vow would remain in full force.

Thank you for your thorough reply. That's what I was wondering...if the verse I was referring to was talking more about swearing falsely, to 'get out of' commitments so to speak and was wondering if it at all indicated that our 'yes' and 'no' were binding and we couldn't ever change our minds on a topic later.

 

[tuliplane]

This is in regard to promises amongst ourselves ...

As flawed humans who are bound to make many empty promises, God is full of grace. He loves us and has endless grace with our shortcomings.

We should certainly keep our word whenever possible. Sometimes it is not possible due to circumstances out of our control ... or ... perhaps more knowledge is discovered and to proceed as originally intended would not be wise. God knows these things.

It is wise counsel from the Lord Him telling us not to make oaths or vows and we should take heed. We shouldn't be frivolous about it.

Only God knows the intentions of the heart. He looks at motives.

Proverbs 16:2 People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives.

3. Proverbs 21:2 Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts.

so... what was the motive when the promise was made? seems to be the question we need to ask ourselves ... honorable or dishonorable? and to proceed with them ... honorable or dishonorable?

What if it's a promise to God that you later realize was foolish (but not sinful)? Would it be best to just keep the vow, even if it causes discomfort so that we don't sin by breaking it? There are so many Old Testament verses about vows and how serious they are. I'm not sure what the New Testament has to say on it. I know Paul had one, but it didn't give details as to what that was. I know that the Old Testament is fulfilled, so does that mean we aren't under the burden of these vows? I also want to be careful about not having the attitude that just because there's grace, I can just walk away and not fulfill my word.

 

[Soyeong]

You're welcome. I think it is more along the lines that if we're going to swear by something other than God's name to leave ourselves room to back out, then we should simply let our yes be yes and our no be no, not that we shouldn't make vows at all. While the Bible does have a lot to say about how we use our tongue and we should not to carelessly commit to something, especially a vow, I do think that there is room for sincere repentance for changing our mind and backing out of doing something that we sincerely intended to do insofar as the vow is concerning ourselves.

 

[eleos1954]

What if it's a promise to God that you later realize was foolish (but not sinful)? Would it be best to just keep the vow, even if it causes discomfort so that we don't sin by breaking it? There are so many Old Testament verses about vows and how serious they are. I'm not sure what the New Testament has to say on it. I know Paul had one, but it didn't give details as to what that was. I know that the Old Testament is fulfilled, so does that mean we aren't under the burden of these vows? I also want to be careful about not having the attitude that just because there's grace, I can just walk away and not fulfill my word.

The fact that we are prone to errors in judgment means that we may make vows foolishly or out of immaturity or ignorance. Can we ask for forgiveness? Yes Can we be forgiven? Yes. That does not mean at all that we are to have a insincere attitude about making keeping promises.

Whatever we say or do must not be in violation with the teachings of the Lord.

Pray about it first and ask for discernment.

We are called to speak the truth as we know and understand it ... according to His word.

Truth wasn't done away with ... rather magnified.

 

[tuliplane]

The fact that we are prone to errors in judgment means that we may make vows foolishly or out of immaturity or ignorance. Can we ask for forgiveness? Yes Can we be forgiven? Yes. That does not mean at all that we are to have a insincere attitude about making keeping promises.

Whatever we say or do must not be in violation with the teachings of the Lord.

Pray about it first and ask for discernment.

We are called to speak the truth as we know and understand it ... according to His word.

Truth wasn't done away with ... rather magnified.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Even if God forgives, wouldn't it still be a sin to break a vow and if so, are there not consequences to that action? Even in the Old Testament, when a woman was allowed to be freed from her vow by her father or husband, they had to bear her punishment.

 

[trophy33]

A subject I think about/try to understand a lot is Biblical vows. I know the Old Testament had a lot to say about them and how they need to be kept. The New Testament doesn't seem to mention it much. There is Matthew 5:37, but it seems to be talking about oaths and not exactly vows, however, the premise might be similar. I know what Jesus meant when he was saying to 'let your yes be yes and no be no'; He was saying that you should mean what you say without having to have some fancy 'I swear on this' promise to go along with it.

What I am wondering is if it is sinful to change one's mind. Let's say you told someone you were going to do something or you told God you didn't want to do a certain thing and you meant yes and no in each of those situations. Later on though, something pressing came up and you were not able to do the thing you said you were going to do with that person or you were presented with new information which made you change your mind on the thing you told God you didn't want to do...would changing your mind be changing your word and going against Matthew 5:37? Once you say yes or no, should it always be yes or no lest it be sin?

Hopefully there is some good insight on this topic!

If you promise something, you should keep it, unless:
a) the promise was immoral or leads to immorality
b) you cannot keep it because of some technical difficulties (for example laws changed or you are far away or you got married...)

You should not break your promises based on your different feelings, laziness etc.

 

[tuliplane]

If you promise something, you should keep it, unless:
a) the promise was immoral or leads to immorality
b) you cannot keep it because of some technical difficulties (for example laws changed or you are far away or you got married...)

You should not break your promises based on your different feelings, laziness etc.

What if it was because you see something different currently than you did at the time? Let me make up an example...say it was you promised to God you would never eat chocolate again because I don't know...you were eating it too much or you thought you were overindulging. Then later you realized it was silly; chocolate wasn't the problem, it was your self-control issue. Should you ask God for forgiveness for making it and realize it was made out of immature views or should you never eat chocolate for the rest of your life just so that the vow is never broken?

 

[trophy33]

What if it was because you see something different currently than you did at the time? Let me make up an example...say it was you promised to God you would never eat chocolate again because I don't know...you were eating it too much or you thought you were overindulging. Then later you realized it was silly; chocolate wasn't the problem, it was your self-control issue. Should you ask God for forgiveness for making it and realize it was made out of immature views or should you never eat chocolate for the rest of your life just so that the vow is never broken?

I am not sure I understand the concept of promising God not to eat chocolate. It seems inappropriate, because its too trivial, to me.

And thats probably also kind of the answer. Such trivialities did not have much meaning in the first place. My post was rather in the context of serious promises that have some real impact.

So, lets add:

c) the promise was too trivial or nonsensical (but instead of allowing to break them, I would recommend not to make them)
- for example childish promises like "I will marry you" told by a 5 years old
- adults should restrain from making such promises

 

[angelsaroundme]

I've been trying...it's so hard not to. I can't seem to fully stop and at times I'm stumped wondering if I did make a promise or not to God (it can be hard to remember if I did!). In that verse, would you say that a simple yes or no is a 'vow'. Would it ever be permissible to change it if the intention was honest in the first place and not saying one thing and meaning another?

I think a vow has to be said outright. As in, "I vow to do this" or "I promise to do that."

But it would probably help to avoid anything that can be construed as a vow. Let's just say hypothetically you said a bad word as an example. Rather than telling God you won't swear again, try to instead go, "God forgive me" or "I'm sorry" without adding anything like, "I won't do it again." Because saying things like that doesn't usually help you not do it anymore... it just adds pressure and extra guilt if you do.

 

[Sabertooth]

But isn't the Holy Spirit changing our minds to transform us different than us just changing our views, intentions or desires about something?

Sometimes it feels like it is just us changing our mind when we stop feeling good about a previous plan.

If I may ask, do you struggle with OCD? (I have a son who does.)

 

[tuliplane]

Sometimes it feels like it is just us changing our mind when we stop feeling good about a previous plan.

If I may ask, do you struggle with OCD? (I have a son who does.)

Thank you. Yes, I have OCD.