Marriage without a license.....

[Sir Robbins]

Since I have insufficient privileges to post in the "singles asking married people" section (not sure why), I'll ask it here.

How many of you would be ok or support someone marrying in front of family, friends and before God but not actually going through with the legality of it? Not getting a government issued marriage license and so on....

I know several people who not only live together but have kids and they refuse to marry because of the financial pains and stress divorce would cause in the event and the legal system highly favoring women over men (shoot me feminists). After all, a marriage should be considered legitimate even if the state or federal government is not involved... shame on them!

Anyone have mixed feelings about this or knows someone who had done it? I'll never marry as I would be violating the institute of marriage because of my asexuality. Simply curious for others' sake.

 

[public hermit]

I would support it. I wish Christians had kept the civil aspect separate from the religious ceremony. They are not the same, even though they are conflated in practice.

 

[Elliewaves]

People can do what they want I guess. I just see marriage as going through all the doors; if you leave a escape door open for "when and if you need to get divorced or leave because all men or women are scum" then it's not that great of a relationship. If you get married and then decide to not be married; it should be a bit messy legally and otherwise to walk away. And getting married with a plan to end it neatly if needed someday is just weird to me. I dunno; just not something I would do.

Eta: I would imagine that courts are pro children in these instances. So if you are making babies with someone and playing house THEN decide to walk away ; you are still legally responsible for the babies you made and you could be legally responsible for child support even if you weren't legally married . So arrangements like these don't provide a nice clean break if there are children involved .

 

[Arcangl86]

Yeah, I wouldn't approve of this. It seems like they are planning on the relationship failing. And in some states even if you weren't legally married you can sue to divide shared assets. Also in some states such a marriage would be considered fraudulent.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Romans 13:1-2 says: "Obey the government, for God is the One who has put it there. There is no government anywhere that God has not placed in power. So those who refuse to obey the law of the land are refusing to obey God, and punishment will follow." With that being said..If the law says a marriage license is needed then that's what I would get. It doesn't violate my conscience nor disregard anything He's set forth in His Word. So why not?

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I know several people who not only live together but have kids and they refuse to marry because of the financial pains and stress divorce would cause in the event and the legal system highly favoring women over men (shoot me feminists).

not sure why getting married would be a problem for two people who are committed to stay together.

 

[bèlla]

I wouldn’t do it. This sounds like a convenient arrangement.

~Bella

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Doesn't seem so bad in theory.

 

[Sketcher]

I know several people who not only live together but have kids and they refuse to marry because of the financial pains and stress divorce would cause in the event and the legal system highly favoring women over men (shoot me feminists).

That sounds like planning for divorce.

 

[blackribbon]

No spousal rights. If one was in the hospital, their parents would be "next of kin" and have the right to make the choices, not the unmarried spouse. No insurance benefits. No support if one dies. And so on. There is a reason why same sex couples fought so hard for the right to be legally married. Ironic that heterosexual couples don't think it is necessary. (PS, the mother still likely will be favored in court if they split up).

 

[Citanul]

(PS, the mother still likely will be favored in court if they split up).

Not only that but there's also going to be financial pain and stress if they break up. Would it really be that much less (if at all) than if they were married?

 

[kittysbecute]

I don’t see how this could be a good thing. Aren’t there far more benefits to being legally married than not?
What’s the point of the “fake” wedding if they don’t want to be married legally? Is it a way to please extended family or something without having commitment to each other?

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

Government shouldn't have any say about marriage. There shouldn't be need for a marriage license. The government gets involved only because of taxes.

 

[Sir Robbins]

I see very valid arguments on all sides and it is a little strange but divorce in their families has lead to these decisions. I've seen some NASTY divorces that left people in ruins...

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Why prepare for failure?

 

[Elliewaves]

If someone is THAT afraid of committing in a marriage or providing for kids and can't trust the person or the gender they partner with; then they should just remain single and use birth control if they want to live like they are married. Sex and partnership with no strings attached. It's not something really moral but at least they aren't producing kids they have no intention of providing for if things go south.

 

[Niels]

What if you get pulled over? You don't want to be caught marriaging without a license.




For what it's worth, I would be more inclined to marry legally without a ceremony than to have a ceremony without a marriage. The plan, however, is to both marry legally and to have a ceremony.

I'd prefer a small ceremony, but of course a lot will depend on what my fiance wants.

 

[blackribbon]

Government shouldn't have any say about marriage. There shouldn't be need for a marriage license. The government gets involved only because of taxes.

Actually there are significant tax benefits when you get married and the marriage license is pretty cheap if i remember correctly.

I am now "head of household" and it is nowhere as good as "married filing jointly"

 

[Citanul]

I've seen some NASTY divorces that left people in ruins...

But wouldn't a relationship that consisted of a long period of cohabitation also have the potential to turn nasty? What is it about being married that makes that potential nastiness worse?

 

[bèlla]

This is moot for community property states. Unless they plan to move to protect their assets.

~Bella