Whiteflight99
Member
Yeah I also want to say there was a moment I “felt” like the holy spiritual left but I do know that is not true. You do have a will and Satan cannot have that so you have to choose to keep going. I know where you are mentally right now and I know sometimes the better and closer you get to the truth you almost feel like a mental searing pain but I promise that is also the lie because you are trying to renew your mind in what is true and then you look back at your mistake and it gets you done all over again. Just KEEP going. Done stop. Like I said, my breakthroughs come when I re focus my eyes on Jesus ALONE. Not the problem, not the sin, not the down falls, not the length of time I’ve felt lost, nothing. Just Jesus. He loves you man. I promise this. Just keep seeking him and listen to his love for you in your heart and pour your heart to home and start proclaiming his goodness over yourself I know you won’t have the strength to say it but you just need to because it’s true you are just in such doubt because the enemy and your own flesh but Jesus is good and he will get you out of this but you need to trust him alone. Not even your conscious. Get connected with believers and listen to worship music and and pray and read the word and even though you will think “there’s no use” it’s just not true because I am a testimony of all this that Hod is still good. And a matter of remember the truth of Jesus not all the worries. He said DO NOT LET YOUR HEARTS BE TROUBLED. believe in God, believe also in me (Jesus) - John 14:1Also I wanted to ask you a question. Did you get to a point were you began to not believe anymore. Or almost scoff at Christianity? It feels like my mind is completely atheistic and detached from the word. As the scripture says spiritual things are foolish to unbelievers because they are spiritually discerned. I feel like I am somewhere on the outside looking in, and no longer in the driver's seat in my life like I was in christ. I no because I was born again that God is real, but no ability to apply anything, so I'm living in alot of fear all day. Not really sure what is becoming of me. I seek desperately God but I no he is no longer with me, apart of me is in total disbelief that this is even happening. And I try to act like it's all not real, I try to move on somehow even but then something reminds me of my past walk with the lord and the word, and fear grips me again. I go around and around like this. There just seems to be no way for me to get back with him. I polluted my mind and conscience again back to a place of spirituall deadness were the holy spirit is no longer there by looking at inappropriate contentography. When I started looking at it the holy spirit was still in me warning me, I was mainly looking at it to distract myself from the problems I was experiencing in my walk with the lord out of fear and madness. I disobeyed every warning against it until it was to late. I new the moment he had left me. Was this your experience? I'm sure that my experience is very different then others who are still walking with the lord is why I ask?
I believe God allowed me to cross this thread to encourage you.
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