Is the Nazarene church still like this.

[SharonL]

This in no way is critical of the Nazarene Church - I just want to give you my experience and ask if the Nazarene church is still like this.

I was raised in the Nazarene church, very strict - the church I was in was so busy telling everyone what they cannot do that they failed to tell me what God can do.

Here is just some examples -
Could not wear shorts.
Could not wear pants of any kind.
Could not go to movies.
Could not dance.
Could not read the paper on Sunday or look at the comics.
No TV, except news (I'm a news junkie to this day)
Could not go to parties.
Could do nothing on Sunday - I hated Sundays and slept the afternoon away.
Could not go even to graduation parties.
Could not kneel to pray if you have a sin in your life - everyone would kneel and pray and peek over the pews and see who was still sitting and then converge on them and drag them to the alter again and again and again.

I could go on and on, but think you get the idea.

Naturally when I got married I still tried to keep the Nazarene religion but drew farther and farther away from it - have tried a lot of churches in my 48 year marriage and have found that I am closer to God as a non-denominational spirit filled walk with my Jesus.

It has been many, many years since I was in a Nazarene church - I was just wondering if they are still as strict as this. I even am resentful to this day that I missed out on all my growing up years with not being able to participate in anything whatsoever.

 

[vicarius]

SharonL,
Much has changed over the past 50 years, most of it in the past 20-25 years. I think some of the items you've mentioned may not have been official restrictions, but were practiced in some parts of the U.S. and not in others.

Could not wear shorts.

When I was a teen I wore shorts all the time during the summer, except in church. I don't recall anyone telling me I couldn't/shouldn't wear shorts outside of church, but in church we were expected to dress up a bit. Now, where I live it is hot most of the year and I wear shorts to church on a regular basis. I have never had anyone suggest that my dress was in appripriate. In fact, I attended a General Assembly a few years ago and wore shorts most of the time without any issues.

My wife, who grew up in a more conservative region of the country did not wear shorts until after we were maried and then only at my insistence that it was ok.

Could not wear pants of any kind.

Of course you are refering to women. This has changed quite dramatically over the years. I recall when I was in college my grandparents going to meet an old friend that they hadn't seen for nearly 40 years since graduating from a Nazarene college and taking pastorates in different parts of the country. The friend had been widowed and remaried, since it was winter in Colorado, both ladies had decided to wear pants, and were nervous regarding the response of the other couple. As it turned out, they were both relieved to see that they hadn't violated the other's social taboo, and the ladies commented that at one time their husbands felt it was inappropriate for women to wear trousers.

Could not go to movies.

That was one of the most widly ignored rules by the time I was a teenager. My parents were somewhat strict regarding what I saw, but did not prohibit me from going to the theater. I think videos pretty much killed this one.

I had a pastor try to tell me that I shouldn't go to a theater, but it was okay to rent a video. His rational was that with the multiplex there was no way anyone could know which movie I was attending, so they may assume that I was attending an 'inapropriate' movie and that this might cause them to stumble. I asled how this was different than renting a video since there were so many movies in the rental store. He responded with something like if there was something inappropriate in the rented movie I could either take it out of the VCR or fast forward. Whatever he said It didn't make sense to me.

Interestingly, I saw him in a video rental shop a couple weeks later, the shop rented everything from children's videos to adult only videos that were kept in a seperate room. He had an arm full of movies, I have no idea what they were, but when he saw me, he averted my eyes an huried out the door.

The church does admonish us to "void entertainment that is subversive to the Christian ethic," but does not prescribe avoidance of specific media. We are encouraged to use good judgement in our choice of entertainment.

Could not dance.

This rule has been restated to avoid forms of dance that inhibit spiritual growth and break down proper moral inhibition and reserve. I think this again is advising us to use good judgement. I know dancing per se' isn't and issue at my church as several of the teens have attended proms and JROTC balls. Often their mothers will bring photographs of the kids dressed up in all their finery. This is something that probably would have been unheard of when I was a teen. As far as I am aware, no one has raised an issue regarding the appropriateness of these kids attending dances.

My son did decide to not go to dances after attending one. He came home early because the "dance" lacked any decorum as the kids were simulating sex acts on the dance floor which he called "grinding."

Could not read the paper on Sunday or look at the comics.

I've never heard of this, except for some comments that my mom made regarding some sunday rules at her church.

No TV, except news (I'm a news junkie to this day)

Hadn't heard this one either. My grandfather was a Nazarene pastor, he had a TV and he and my grandmother watched a variety of programs from Gunsmoke to Laurence Welk.

Could not go to parties.

Depends on the party, is it chaperoned; who is chaperoning; are they serving alchohol, drugs; what type of dancing will they have; will it include grinding?

Could do nothing on Sunday - I hated Sundays and slept the afternoon away.

While I enjoy a "Nazarene nap," I know of no restriction regarding what we do on Sunday. See my comment regarding sunday paper.

Could not go even to graduation parties.

Same regarding parties above.

Could not kneel to pray if you have a sin in your life - everyone would kneel and pray and peek over the pews and see who was still sitting and then converge on them and drag them to the alter again and again and again.

Can't keel to pray if there is sin in my life? I thoght kneeling was something we did when confessing sin. It is an act of humbling oneself before God, how can you confess sin, if you are not first willing to bow before him? I must say this is very strange as I have never heard of it before.


I think some of the things you mentioned are/were regional/cultural. It's funny, both my parents grew up in Nazarene churches. My dad and his sister who were preacher's kids had much fewer restrictions based on their "religion" than my mom and her brothers, whose parents were laymen.

So to answer your question, no we are not like what you recall from your youth, at least not in any of the churches I have attended in the past dozen years or so.

 

[SharonL]

SharonL,
Much has changed over the past 50 years, most of it in the past 20-25 years. I think some of the items you've mentioned may not have been official restrictions, but were practiced in some parts of the U.S. and not in others.


When I was a teen I wore shorts all the time during the summer, except in church. I don't recall anyone telling me I couldn't/shouldn't wear shorts outside of church, but in church we were expected to dress up a bit. Now, where I live it is hot most of the year and I wear shorts to church on a regular basis. I have never had anyone suggest that my dress was in appripriate. In fact, I attended a General Assembly a few years ago and wore shorts most of the time without any issues.

My wife, who grew up in a more conservative region of the country did not wear shorts until after we were maried and then only at my insistence that it was ok.


Of course you are refering to women. This has changed quite dramatically over the years. I recall when I was in college my grandparents going to meet an old friend that they hadn't seen for nearly 40 years since graduating from a Nazarene college and taking pastorates in different parts of the country. The friend had been widowed and remaried, since it was winter in Colorado, both ladies had decided to wear pants, and were nervous regarding the response of the other couple. As it turned out, they were both relieved to see that they hadn't violated the other's social taboo, and the ladies commented that at one time their husbands felt it was inappropriate for women to wear trousers.


That was one of the most widly ignored rules by the time I was a teenager. My parents were somewhat strict regarding what I saw, but did not prohibit me from going to the theater. I think videos pretty much killed this one.

I had a pastor try to tell me that I shouldn't go to a theater, but it was okay to rent a video. His rational was that with the multiplex there was no way anyone could know which movie I was attending, so they may assume that I was attending an 'inapropriate' movie and that this might cause them to stumble. I asled how this was different than renting a video since there were so many movies in the rental store. He responded with something like if there was something inappropriate in the rented movie I could either take it out of the VCR or fast forward. Whatever he said It didn't make sense to me.

Interestingly, I saw him in a video rental shop a couple weeks later, the shop rented everything from children's videos to adult only videos that were kept in a seperate room. He had an arm full of movies, I have no idea what they were, but when he saw me, he averted my eyes an huried out the door.

The church does admonish us to "void entertainment that is subversive to the Christian ethic," but does not prescribe avoidance of specific media. We are encouraged to use good judgement in our choice of entertainment.


This rule has been restated to avoid forms of dance that inhibit spiritual growth and break down proper moral inhibition and reserve. I think this again is advising us to use good judgement. I know dancing per se' isn't and issue at my church as several of the teens have attended proms and JROTC balls. Often their mothers will bring photographs of the kids dressed up in all their finery. This is something that probably would have been unheard of when I was a teen. As far as I am aware, no one has raised an issue regarding the appropriateness of these kids attending dances.

My son did decide to not go to dances after attending one. He came home early because the "dance" lacked any decorum as the kids were simulating sex acts on the dance floor which he called "grinding."


I've never heard of this, except for some comments that my mom made regarding some sunday rules at her church.


Hadn't heard this one either. My grandfather was a Nazarene pastor, he had a TV and he and my grandmother watched a variety of programs from Gunsmoke to Laurence Welk.


Depends on the party, is it chaperoned; who is chaperoning; are they serving alchohol, drugs; what type of dancing will they have; will it include grinding?


While I enjoy a "Nazarene nap," I know of no restriction regarding what we do on Sunday. See my comment regarding sunday paper.


Same regarding parties above.


Can't keel to pray if there is sin in my life? I thoght kneeling was something we did when confessing sin. It is an act of humbling oneself before God, how can you confess sin, if you are not first willing to bow before him? I must say this is very strange as I have never heard of it before.


I think some of the things you mentioned are/were regional/cultural. It's funny, both my parents grew up in Nazarene churches. My dad and his sister who were preacher's kids had much fewer restrictions based on their "religion" than my mom and her brothers, whose parents were laymen.

So to answer your question, no we are not like what you recall from your youth, at least not in any of the churches I have attended in the past dozen years or so.

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer this post. I am really glad they have changed - but as you say some of it is where we were brought up - I was raised in West virginia and it seemed all that area was in a "can't do" mode of operation at all times.

I regret I don't have any of the nice warm feelings of youthful growing up. That sort of growing up brings with it a truckload of guilt - guilt for everything I ever do.

At this time in our lives my husband and I are not in a church - we moved 2 years ago and after going to church every Sunday of our lives - different churches - he is Catholic (which you know I was thought very highly of by my family for that) but it has been a blessed marriage for 48 years - but we have our "church" so to say at home right now and do our Bible Study and are learning so much and feel very close to God and walk with our hands in Jesus' hand and led by the Holy Spirit. I don't feel guilty for not going to church at this time - it has always been such an area of controversy in my life that I feel very at peace right now.

Thank you so much.

 

[desert_island_1]

You seem to have been pretty young when you stated moving away from the Nazarene church, so I will now give you the perspective of a young person who has grown up in the Nazarene church (my family joined when I was around 6 years old)

Could not wear shorts.

Umm, I have never heard this before. In the summer we wear shorts all the time, even to church. We will dawn flip flops and tank tops too when it is warm enough.

Could not wear pants of any kind.

Well, the last time I wore a skirt was about 6 or 7 weeks ago. So I am going to say this is non existant anymore.

Could not go to movies.

Um. I go to the movies ocne ot twice a month, with my church friends.

Could not dance.

This one is still kinda iffy. The manual no longer says that we cannot dance, but out of respect to the seniors who beleive this, we for the most part do not. In our youth group, we will even have dance parties sometimes, although our youth pastor does not participate. And we never dance on Sundays in the church, once again, out of respect for the old people.

Could not read the paper on Sunday or look at the comics.

We are encouraged to keep tabs on what is going on in the world, no matter what day of the week.

No TV, except news (I'm a news junkie to this day)

I like my Kim Possible, Friends, Survivor and 8 Simple Rules. Enough said.

Could not go to parties.

If there is drinking, than no. But I still go to parties with my friends.

Could do nothing on Sunday - I hated Sundays and slept the afternoon away.

My mum doesn't like me to do anything that causes otehrs to work on a Sunday, so no going out for lunch, no shopping, stuff like that. But I am more than welcome to go over to a friend's house and spend the afternoon with them.

Could not go even to graduation parties.

This is understandable. Grads combine the two things the older church did not like - drinking and dancing. Now though, we are allowed to go to them if we so choose. Our church in fact has a dinner to celebrate the acheviements of those students who are graduating.

Could not kneel to pray if you have a sin in your life - everyone would kneel and pray and peek over the pews and see who was still sitting and then converge on them and drag them to the alter again and again and again.

I do not know when other than in church I have knelt to pray. Usually I am sitting on a chair, even in church.

Kristy

 

[SharonL]

Thanks so much Kristy for taking the time to write.

Sounds like a lot of changes have been made.My growing up years were so bad I wanted no part of it after I married.

Blessings
Sharon

 

[desert_island_1]

Thanks so much Kristy for taking the time to write.

Sounds like a lot of changes have been made.My growing up years were so bad I wanted no part of it after I married.

Blessings
Sharon

No problem. I thought the perspective of a young person might be something good to have.

Kristy

 

[tpony298]

No problem. I thought the perspective of a young person might be something good to have.

Kristy

How about the prospective of an old person???

I was 13 when I accepted Jesus. My Mother sat down with me and explained how the Holy Spirit would come into me and change my desires and enjoyments.

Now up until then we were raised "morally" . No Elvis, some movies, Church functions were the main stay of our entertainment. But, we also had ties to the Brethern In Christ community so we were confortable with dresses.

Some people tried to tell me that I would have to "give up" certain things in my life when I got saved, like movies...we went to the local small town theather once a week while mom shopped for the weekly groceries,(she used it as a babysitter when we were small). but as we got older our allowance was more enjoyable when we shopped for "stuff" or ate out at the local diner.

But, I did find my self being drawn more to spiritual things as I passed through my teen years into aduilt hood.

Today, my main interest is Bible study...and church functions...especialy children's programs...I wear pants like everyone else, but can't imagine any guy wearing my pants...lol...I have a tv..that borers me to death...and a computer that I have three web sites listed in my favorites...CF...my own Christian Yahoo Group (the pony barn) and my bank account...

I guess my youthful experience was as good as it was because everyone in our neighbor community lived the same way.

It was nice meeting you I hope we talk again....love Pony

 

[mothcorrupteth]

The last--and only--Nazarene church I went to was not like that. The Conservative Holiness church to which I now attend (Bible Methodist, which is along the same lines as strict Nazarenes) and have attended since I was 13 is like that, to an extent. They don't mind attendants who don't follow the code of conduct, but their members are not allowed to:
- wear shirts whose sleeves do not extend past the elbow
- wear pants (the women)
- wear jewelry
- go to the movie theater
- own or watch TV, including news, although some of them own "monitors" so they may watch videos or play mild videogames
- swim with members of the opposite sex

And off the top of my head I can't recall anything in their consititution about dancing or Sunday paper-reading, though I know a pastor of their denomination who's opposed to it, and he won't read his paper on Sunday, but he'll permit it to be delivered, which defeats the purpose if you ask me. The same fellow censors the advertisements in the paper for his teenage sons by placing white stickers on all the immodest bits, but he was ignorant as nothing about what they were downloading with file-sharing programs. I know because I saw Fight Club for the first time at his house.

That's not something I'm proud of, looking back, and what I'm even less proud about is that when I really began to think about the hypocrisy of this denomination, I reacted the wrong way and shot off somewhere into a more liberal non-denom view instead of a more conservative one. Now presently, I'm dressing with sleeves down past my elbows and my shirt tucked in, and I've resolved not to go to the movies or even turn on my TV for anything but videos (I've all but given up videogames). I don't do these things because a constitution tells me to but because I feel personally convicted to do it; I had a revelation of God's holiness and what He expects from me.

So from my own perspective--a non-denom Holiness one which I feel is relevent to your question--I agree with Amisk that maintaining standards is important, though it should never be an end unto itself. Standards, I think, cannot be manufactured and institutionalized with human hands but must come by the grace of God.

 

[TamiinKS]

I currently attend a Nazarene Church (but am not a member) and I can say that, thankfully, the church I attend is not like described in the original post.

I would probably run - not walk - away from a body of believers that legalistic.

 

[HeatherJay]

My Nazarene church is not at all like waht is described in the OP, thank goodness.

The more modern Nazarene school of thought is that inward holiness reflects outward...as opposed to the older school of thought that outward holiness reflects inward.

I think it's most definitely a change for the better. I love my church family and my denomination.

 

[jgarden]

This in no way is critical of the Nazarene Church - I just want to give you my experience and ask if the Nazarene church is still like this.

I was raised in the Nazarene church, very strict - the church I was in was so busy telling everyone what they cannot do that they failed to tell me what God can do.

Here is just some examples -
Could not wear shorts.
Could not wear pants of any kind.
Could not go to movies.
Could not dance.
Could not read the paper on Sunday or look at the comics.
No TV, except news (I'm a news junkie to this day)
Could not go to parties.
Could do nothing on Sunday - I hated Sundays and slept the afternoon away.
Could not go even to graduation parties.
Could not kneel to pray if you have a sin in your life - everyone would kneel and pray and peek over the pews and see who was still sitting and then converge on them and drag them to the alter again and again and again.

I could go on and on, but think you get the idea.

Naturally when I got married I still tried to keep the Nazarene religion but drew farther and farther away from it - have tried a lot of churches in my 48 year marriage and have found that I am closer to God as a non-denominational spirit filled walk with my Jesus.

It has been many, many years since I was in a Nazarene church - I was just wondering if they are still as strict as this. I even am resentful to this day that I missed out on all my growing up years with not being able to participate in anything whatsoever.

In the 7 Woes, Jesus' saved his greatest criticisms for the chief priests and teachers of the Law whose actions attempted to prevent others from entering the Kingdom of God.

It would appear that your church was under the control of modern day Pharisees who are more concerned with appearances and works, rather than faith and love.

Only a hypocrit would claim not to have sin in their lives !!

 

[DaSadez]

oh, wow. im sooo sorry for anyone whoz ever gone to a Naz church like that. ok herez how my church is. we rock out. Dancing? lol, we dance during service sumtimz @ District events. shorts? ya, tho modesty is encouraged as far as the length. we go to movies as a church. i definately wear jeans and a tshirt every sunday morning. and well alot of stuff. As far as i kno, the only ones who practice this are the backwoods Naz churches who dont express the true doctrine now.

lol, at our church, we hav hardcore christian rock (to the point of screamo) bands come and give concerts. lol. give ya an idea of what were like now?