Is Oral Sex wrong?

[St_Joseph_Cupertino]

The scenario would be between a husband and wife, both practicing Catholics, with the best of intentions.

Just want to get an idea of what's right and what's wrong.

Thanks guys!

 

[stivvy]

Say it isn't!!!!!!! Please!!!!

 

[Y_Cathol]

It's wrong :

"For necessary sexual intercourse for begetting [children] is alone worthy of marriage. But that which goes beyond this necessity no longer follows reason but lust. And yet it pertains to the character of marriage…to yield it to the partner lest by fornication the other sin damnably [through adultery]…[T]hey [must] not turn away from them the mercy of God…by changing the natural use into that which is against nature, which is more damnable when it is done in the case of husband or wife. For, whereas that natural use, when it pass beyond the compact of marriage, that is, beyond the necessity of begetting [children], is pardonable in the case of a wife, damnable in the case of a harlot; that which is against nature is execrable when done in the case of a harlot, but more execrable in the case of a wife. Of so great power is the ordinance of the Creator, and the order of creation, that . . . when the man shall wish to use a body part of the wife not allowed for this purpose [orally or anally consummated sex], the wife is more shameful, if she suffer it to take place in her own case, than if in the case of another woman." Augustine, The Good of Marriage 11–12 (A.D. 401).

 

[Cecilia]

I've heard the act of "losing seed" without intercourse is wrong...but what if you didn't go that far with oral sex and then switched over? I've been taught or told both ways so I am confused as well.

 

[gitlance]

It is wrong for sure if climax is reached as a result of it.

Beyond that, I could not say whether the intrinsic act is wrong.

 

[St_Joseph_Cupertino]

It is wrong for sure if climax is reached as a result of it.

Beyond that, I could not say whether the intrinsic act is wrong.

I also understood that it's wrong to climax that way, but that it is okay to perform it as part of the "unitive" aspect of marital sex.
But then, that is why I posted, to get more info

 

[Catholic Wife]

We all know (I hope) that sex is intended for marital relations, and that pretty much anything that is mutually agreed upon by both partners is okay in the marriage bed, including oral sex if it is part of those marital relations. From what I understand, oral sex for a man to deliberately climax isn't okay since his climax is directly linked to procreation (oral sex can be part of foreplay, but he is supposed to climax during intercourse). But, oral sex to climax for a woman is okay because her climax isn't directed to procreation.

 

[IAMCATHOLIC]

No. If the couple is married, I do not believe it is wrong.

From the Catechism...

III. The Love of Husband and Wife
2360 Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman. In marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion. Marriage bonds between baptized persons are sanctified by the sacrament.
2361 "Sexuality, by means of which man and woman give themselves to one another through the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is not something simply biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death."142
Tobias got out of bed and said to Sarah, "Sister, get up, and let us pray and implore our Lord that he grant us mercy and safety." So she got up, and they began to pray and implore that they might be kept safe. Tobias began by saying, "Blessed are you, O God of our fathers.... You made Adam, and for him you made his wife Eve as a helper and support. From the two of them the race of mankind has sprung. You said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; let us make a helper for him like himself.' I now am taking this kinswoman of mine, not because of lust, but with sincerity. Grant that she and I may find mercy and that we may grow old together." and they both said, "Amen, Amen." Then they went to sleep for the night.143
2362 "The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude."144 Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:
The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.145

 

[RoseofLima]

My understanding is that it is fine as foreplay-- but that the marital act must be completed with the capacity to transmit life (even just potentially).


I would seriously take a good hard look and spend time in prayer about anything Augustine has to say about sex...

.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

as long as the man doesnt climax, i dont see a problem.

 

[ProCommunioneFacior]

For some reason it won't let me quote RoseofLima, but my understanding of oral stimulation is the same as what she has presented.

It should lead to unitive sexual intercourse in which procreation can take place, if it excludes the procreative and unitive act of sexual intercourse, then my understanding would be that it is a sin.

 

[Ave Maria]

I'm not married and have never really researched this issue but I would think that oral sex is fine as long as the man does not climax during oral sex and as long as the marital act ends with normal sexual intercourse that allows for the possibility of life.

 

[geocajun]

The scenario would be between a husband and wife, both practicing Catholics, with the best of intentions.

Just want to get an idea of what's right and what's wrong.

Thanks guys!

no it is not wrong. The husband cannot deliberatly climax as a result of it however.
The wife can climax from it with no moral issues, however the husband cannot spill his seed outside of his wife.

 

[gtsecc]

And what about oral sex on the woman? Is that allowed? Can she climax also? What are the catechism numbers on this?

 

[ProCommunioneFacior]

In regards to oral sex and what is allowed and not allowed, it is not spelled out in the Catechism. However, with knowledge of what the Church teaches I think it is reasonable that what is allowed is what people have presented here, such as RoseofLima, PerkyCurlz, Saloman, you can read what they said, they have already answered your questions.

In addition, I do not like posting about my personal sex life, but in regards to your post two posts ago. Yes, my wife and I do our best to follow the moral precepts of the Church, and our sex life is just fine and very unitive.

Other than that, in regards to humor, I personally do not find using language which is often used very offensively as something that is humorous, I find it to be quite shallow.

 

[Maynard Keenan]

I don't see any reason why it is intrinsically immoral.

 

[QuantaCura]

Any act other than abstinance that is actively contraceptive is immoral.

If someone is physically unable to conceive children, they are fine ebcause they are not actively contracepting (Sarah and Abraham are good examples--you never know when a miracle might occur). Oral sex is actively contraceptive. Likewise, you can't do anything that is offensive to human dignity.

 

[QuantaCura]

Dude, gtsecc, I understand that the Anglican Church got the ball rolling on the contraceptive revolution so for you it's a big joke, but could you please refrain from mocking those of us who wish to retain traditional morality.

 

[ProCommunioneFacior]

Any act other than abstinance that is actively contraceptive is immoral.

If someone is physically unable to conceive children, they are fine ebcause they are not actively contracepting (Sarah and Abraham are good examples--you never know when a miracle might occur). Oral sex is actively contraceptive. Likewise, you can't do anything that is offensive to human dignity.

Would you agree with me that oral stimulation which does not exclude sexual intercourse which is unitive and procreative is not contraceptive?

 

[united4Peace]

Whatever each person in the relationship is comfortable with is okay. As soon as one person is not okay with something and is pushed into doing it against their will then that is when it becomes wrong "a sin".