So as some of you know my wife and I are planning to move out of my parents asap. Mainly because my mother is a rage filled person who borders on being psychotic or mentally ill. Also we are non-denominational christians (just letting you know). I'll post about my mother in a second, wanted to post why I am bringing up my mother first...
Well last Sunday at church at the end they had an altar call as always. A few people came up. As we left the room (like many do since service is over) a woman approached a healing ministry leader to be prayed for. They started praying (I wasn't really watching of course) and suddenly she (the woman being prayed for) screamed out loud every few seconds. Not like a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ed scream. But a moaning scream like I can't explain. I've seen it in the past before from others being prayed over. She was so loud it was heard in the hallways and farther away.
Well it made me think what it was about. Was she screaming for Gods help? Did she have a demon trying to escape her? My view on demon possession is mixed. I know it happens since its even talked about in the bible. But I'm not sure what to exactly look for. So this is where my mom comes in... She for most of her life until she was 18 was constantly raped, beat to a pulp, screamed at and overall beyond abused by her father. She said she got help when she married my dad. But it doens't seem like they really helped her much. Since then she refuses to get any more help. As stated she has major rage issues. Sometimes depression. Drinks ALOT every night and gets drunk. Which is usually when shes at her worst. She also has a tendency to lie, overact, manipulate and exaggerate. She screams at us, swears worse then a sailor, and has even laid hands on us. Especially my father.
Part of me wonders if she is mentally ill because she can write nasty thing about me, my dad and my wife on facebook. Then a few minutes later talk to us and act like she cares about us as if nothing happened. She rarely apologies after shes enraged. Mostly because she "says") she can't remember being enraged. Its almost like dealing with someone who is mentally ill or unstable. Like her personality is split. Though it may be her lies and manipulation that is really going on. She doesn't go to church. Don't think she does devotions often. No bible studies. Really nothing christian related. She finds complaints about every church and leaves it. And she does the same with people, pastors...etc.
After 15 years at one church we left it because when my dad was out of work from an injury they wouldn't give us any money. My mom said "After at least $30,000 in tithe and offerings they can't even help us! (bleep) them!". So she started to hate christians and even God. Since then nothing has really changed. Though to talk to her she talks the talk, but doesn't walk the walk (not that we are perfect of course). She always uses Gods name in vain.
So after seeing that woman at church I wonder if my mom is possibly also possessed. I realize part of her rage is from her past. But do you think she can be partially possessed to and its why we can't break through to her? How would we know? Again I'm not saying its the full reason why shes how she is. I know alot of it is because of her past. Its just so hard dealing with her. She told me she thinks I have lost compassion for her. And to some degree I have. I'm older, I'm tired and I never trust her. So I feel less compassionate for her. But at the same time I do love her. Its why I pray for her. Its why I want her to get help.
For now our section 8 isn't available yet. And we can't find an apartment yet thats in out budget. Though we are both looking for jobs. We will take anywhere, even if its run down and full of problems. We need peace and have none here. I just wish my mother could be fixed, I don't give up hope, but all I have left is praying since I am out of options. Even my dad won't step up, instead he recently is getting upset at us about financial issues instead of telling my mom to stop wasting money on alcohol and stuff like that.
Well last Sunday at church at the end they had an altar call as always. A few people came up. As we left the room (like many do since service is over) a woman approached a healing ministry leader to be prayed for. They started praying (I wasn't really watching of course) and suddenly she (the woman being prayed for) screamed out loud every few seconds. Not like a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ed scream. But a moaning scream like I can't explain. I've seen it in the past before from others being prayed over. She was so loud it was heard in the hallways and farther away.
Well it made me think what it was about. Was she screaming for Gods help? Did she have a demon trying to escape her? My view on demon possession is mixed. I know it happens since its even talked about in the bible. But I'm not sure what to exactly look for. So this is where my mom comes in... She for most of her life until she was 18 was constantly raped, beat to a pulp, screamed at and overall beyond abused by her father. She said she got help when she married my dad. But it doens't seem like they really helped her much. Since then she refuses to get any more help. As stated she has major rage issues. Sometimes depression. Drinks ALOT every night and gets drunk. Which is usually when shes at her worst. She also has a tendency to lie, overact, manipulate and exaggerate. She screams at us, swears worse then a sailor, and has even laid hands on us. Especially my father.
Part of me wonders if she is mentally ill because she can write nasty thing about me, my dad and my wife on facebook. Then a few minutes later talk to us and act like she cares about us as if nothing happened. She rarely apologies after shes enraged. Mostly because she "says") she can't remember being enraged. Its almost like dealing with someone who is mentally ill or unstable. Like her personality is split. Though it may be her lies and manipulation that is really going on. She doesn't go to church. Don't think she does devotions often. No bible studies. Really nothing christian related. She finds complaints about every church and leaves it. And she does the same with people, pastors...etc.
After 15 years at one church we left it because when my dad was out of work from an injury they wouldn't give us any money. My mom said "After at least $30,000 in tithe and offerings they can't even help us! (bleep) them!". So she started to hate christians and even God. Since then nothing has really changed. Though to talk to her she talks the talk, but doesn't walk the walk (not that we are perfect of course). She always uses Gods name in vain.
So after seeing that woman at church I wonder if my mom is possibly also possessed. I realize part of her rage is from her past. But do you think she can be partially possessed to and its why we can't break through to her? How would we know? Again I'm not saying its the full reason why shes how she is. I know alot of it is because of her past. Its just so hard dealing with her. She told me she thinks I have lost compassion for her. And to some degree I have. I'm older, I'm tired and I never trust her. So I feel less compassionate for her. But at the same time I do love her. Its why I pray for her. Its why I want her to get help.
For now our section 8 isn't available yet. And we can't find an apartment yet thats in out budget. Though we are both looking for jobs. We will take anywhere, even if its run down and full of problems. We need peace and have none here. I just wish my mother could be fixed, I don't give up hope, but all I have left is praying since I am out of options. Even my dad won't step up, instead he recently is getting upset at us about financial issues instead of telling my mom to stop wasting money on alcohol and stuff like that.
