• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • Christian Forums is looking to bring on new moderators to the CF Staff Team! If you have been an active member of CF for at least three months with 200 posts during that time, you're eligible to apply! This is a great way to give back to CF and keep the forums running smoothly! If you're interested, you can submit your application here!

Is Lust a Sin if You're Single? (Lusting After Your Girlfriend)

theVirginian

Regular Member
Mar 5, 2007
484
41
✟23,379.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Single
Hopefully you're using lust as a blanket definition for any kind of physical/sexual attraction. Lust is an obsession for something and isn't limited to sex. It can be a lust for power, money, etc.

That said, having a healthy physical attraction for somebody who isn't spoken for is OK. It's part of how we are made.
 
Upvote 0

charlie47

Professional
Mar 6, 2010
18
0
France
✟22,629.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
I am 18 years old and I have a girlfriend is it still a sin to lust her. Or if a teenager is looking for a girlfriend doesn't he have to lust to find the right girl? does the sin of lust and adultery still apply to a single person?

You need to be strong. Your natural impulses can go crazy and that can ruin your relationship. Do not think how the world thinks. One girl, one guy. There are no accidents. God puts the right man and woman together. Stay together. Get married. Be loyal. Do not be adulterous like everyone else is.

You know what sin is. You are pretending you are ignorant of it.

It is normal to be attracted to women and lust after one. Keep your eyes to her. If you do not fight your emotions of sexual lust you will not be able to keep your cool around her.

Stop thinking black and white. Think Jesus.
 
Upvote 0

heymikey80

Quidquid Latine dictum sit, altum viditur
Dec 18, 2005
14,496
921
✟41,809.00
Faith
Calvinist
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
Part of the problem of sin is living in a sinful world. You live in this world. Y'can't escape sin.

I don't understand the question about lusting to find the right girl. It's not a good criterion for finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with. Sacrificial love is more important than erotic love. It's a better basis for a real relationship.

Are you going to factor in attraction? I expect so. You live in this world. The chance arrangement of physical features is a factor you're taking into account. Paul actually talks about this -- he talks about minimizing the sin of lust by marrying at the start of 1 Cor 7.

It takes a lot of mental strength to minimize the sin of lust in other ways. But we're still tied to life "down here". So be on your guard.
 
Upvote 0

Sketcher

Born Imperishable
Feb 23, 2004
39,026
9,440
✟407,165.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
The sin of lust needs to be defined before answering your question. Many people just think that lust is your sex drive. It isn't. Lust is the sinful hijacking of your sex drive. If you look at the way the Bible uses the word lust, it is tied closely to coveting. Lust therefore, is sexual coveting and sexual greed. If you let something like that go, then that's going to end up in you using her rather than loving her. Because lust is really all about your pleasure. But what Christians are to do is to love people, Philippians 2:3-8 is for everything including marriage, and this includes the aspect of making love (which is only supposed to be between married people). Lust therefore, is never OK.

Attraction is perfectly OK, though. Just watch that your attraction does not make its way into lust. With attraction comes the temptation to lust. And that is where you need to take your foot off the gas so you don't fall into lust.
 
  • Like
Reactions: alatir
Upvote 0

heron

Legend
Mar 24, 2005
19,443
962
✟41,256.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
In Relationship
Lust is only a temptation until you yield to it , then it becomes a sin.

Do you know the verse about not letting the sun set on your anger? It does not speak of the first impulse of anger as bad, but the hanging onto it. Letting it fester and grow, take over your thoughts.

I was in a store one day when it hit me... women sometimes complain that men always have lust on their minds. But what do women do, that compares?

We have insecurities that drive us to cover ourselves with beautiful things to feel acceptable... a drive to get the favor of a guy who will make us look good or feel good... don't sit still until we get to a secure place, and then still strive to find more. We lust for affirmation and security. Stuff.

All of these impulses are instinctual responses toward food, shelter, and keeping the species going. But we go overboard in our fears that we might not get what we need or want. But we are humans with logic and self-control. The Holy Spirit has offered us even more help with that.

Try to enjoy what you have. Be grateful for the friendship, the great connection you have, and whatever else this relationship brings you. You don't need to repopulate the earth right away.
 
Upvote 0

sbbqb7n16

Veteran - Blue Bible Dude
Jan 13, 2002
2,532
177
39
Texas
Visit site
✟25,010.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Lust is only a temptation until you yield to it , then it becomes a sin.


Alan
Disagreed.


"You have heard that it was said, `YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell."
Matthew 5:27-30


Is it a sin to find her attractive? No.
Is it a sin to lust over her? Yes.
Is it a sin to lust over her, but to just tell yourself that all you're really doing is finding her attractive? Yes.
Does that mean you're going to hell? Has no effect either way - forgiveness is in Christ alone, not in good deeds
 
Upvote 0

Johnnz

Senior Veteran
Site Supporter
Aug 3, 2004
14,082
1,003
83
New Zealand
✟97,051.00
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Widowed
The sin of lust needs to be defined before answering your question. Many people just think that lust is your sex drive. It isn't. Lust is the sinful hijacking of your sex drive. If you look at the way the Bible uses the word lust, it is tied closely to coveting. Lust therefore, is sexual coveting and sexual greed. If you let something like that go, then that's going to end up in you using her rather than loving her. Because lust is really all about your pleasure. But what Christians are to do is to love people, Philippians 2:3-8 is for everything including marriage, and this includes the aspect of making love (which is only supposed to be between married people). Lust therefore, is never OK.

Attraction is perfectly OK, though. Just watch that your attraction does not make its way into lust. With attraction comes the temptation to lust. And that is where you need to take your foot off the gas so you don't fall into lust.

This is a very sensible post. There is a very big and very significant difference between a normal, healthy, naturally developed sex drive and a willing determine to express it the wrong way. Only the later is lust. And an awakened sex drive is part of how God designed us to start that search for our life long partner.

John
NZ
 
Upvote 0