Is cohabitation a sin?

[Sammy-San]

Fornication is definitley a sin, but is it a sin for a couple to live together before marriage? I mean cohabitation itself-without fornication-done in a chaste way. Some say it's unwise because it can increase temptation. That probably has some truth to it, but its not the topic of this thread. Some Christians would argue its a sin because it has the appearence of evil, but I would argue otherwise.

Some things definitley have the appearance of evil. Two unrelated people of the opposite sex sleeping in the same bed, or staying in the same room at night, obviously is wrong, because it has sexual connotations, for obvious reasons that dont need to be explained. But staying in the same house-in my opinion, does not inheritly have the appearance of evil.

Some people think it does. I apologize for mentioning political figures in this discussion, but I only did it to show an example of what some peoples opinions are on this issue.

Erdogan implicitly said that for him, male and female students sharing the same house, even if they are adults, is "illegitimate."

Read more: Erdogan's unwelcome intervention in college life - Al-Monitor: the Pulse of the Middle East

Some religious people, one example I mentioned above (despite the fact he isnt Christian), think that unmarried people living in the same area/house is sinful. Do you think it's a sin if a couple lives in the same home before marriage?

 

[Archie the Preacher]

Sam, as you present a hypothetical situation, no; I see no sin involved.

Trying not to step on your wishes, I don't think it a good idea in general terms.

 

[CryOfALion]

Fornication is definitley a sin, but is it a sin for a couple to live together before marriage? I mean cohabitation itself-without fornication-done in a chaste way. Some say it's unwise because it can increase temptation. That probably has some truth to it, but its not the topic of this thread. Some Christians would argue its a sin because it has the appearence of evil, but I would argue otherwise.

Some things definitley have the appearance of evil. Two unrelated people of the opposite sex sleeping in the same bed, or staying in the same room at night, obviously is wrong, because it has sexual connotations, for obvious reasons that dont need to be explained. But staying in the same house-in my opinion, does not inheritly have the appearance of evil.

Some people think it does. I apologize for mentioning political figures in this discussion, but I only did it to show an example of what some peoples opinions are on this issue.



Read more: Erdogan's unwelcome intervention in college life - Al-Monitor: the Pulse of the Middle East

Some religious people, one example I mentioned above (despite the fact he isnt Christian), think that unmarried people living in the same area/house is sinful. Do you think it's a sin if a couple lives in the same home before marriage?

Sam, what is marriage to God?

Or, what constitutes the only legal reason for divorce under God, and what did He say about the person who does these acts that cause divorce under God?

 

[Sammy-San]

Sam, what is marriage to God?

Or, what constitutes the only legal reason for divorce under God, and what did He say about the person who does these acts that cause divorce under God?

I will answer your questions, I just dont understand how they connect to the topic of whether or not cohabitation is a sin.

 

[CryOfALion]

I will answer your questions, I just dont understand how they connect to the topic of whether or not cohabitation is a sin.

Because man may have a different, sometimes more complicated reasoning for the simplicity of the word of God.

This can, and has led to doctrine that is unnecessarily judgmental, hard to adhere to, or a stumbling block.

 

[dayhiker]

I personally don't see male and females living in the same house as a sin.
One way to define sin is what ever is not of faith is sin. So if they aren't living in the same house in faith then I'd say it is a sin.

As for stumbling block. I've yet to meet anyone who felt they would stop living Jesus if they knew a male and female were living in the same housing unit. back in the 70's I was told I couldn't go to the movies because a Christian might see me and backslide. I never heard of that happening either!

 

[Paxton25]

Do you think it's a sin if a couple lives in the same home before marriage?

I believe that sinning in this situation is inevitable.

"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body."
1 Corinthians 6:18

''Playing house'' before marriage is temptation waiting to happen. There are countless verses where we are admonished to flee temptation, not cohabitate with it.

People in this situation may as well pray, ''Forgive us Lord, for what we're about to do. Amen.''

 

[SillyFool]

What are you asking? More specifically, what is your definition of sin?

Do you want to know whether the couple is Breaking a Rule? Or do you want to know whether they're doing something that is damaging their souls?

The answer to the first seems to be, strictly speaking, No.

The answer to the second would be more complicated. It would depend on the couple, why they were wanting to live in the same house, and a dozen other things that I'm not in a position to evaluate. As "moving in together" is typically a big deal, even in non-sexual relationships, the decision should be made carefully, prayerfully, and with input from trusted people who are older and wiser.

Is moving in together going to aid them in growing in Love, Humility, Faithfulness, Chastity and all the virtues unto complete conformity to the image of Christ? Will it help them renounce sin, overcome temptation, and heal their souls?

I don't know. But they should know, before they do it.

 

[WindStaff]

Fornication is definitley a sin, but is it a sin for a couple to live together before marriage?

I have a problem with fornication and cohabitation being a sin before marriage for one prime reason alone:

These teachings were put forth in a society where it was not only common, but virtually expected that one would marry by the age of 16 years old.
In today's world, it typically doesn't happen until one is in their mid-20's, and it is almost certain that the bridge to that marriage will require a time of living together beforehand.

The modern parent, especially, does not do much justice in this regard. They often don't even want this sort of independence of their children until they are at these ages, and condemn any relationship abroad.

This creates a big problem for society and the supposed ordinance of these virtues, because the expectation becomes not cohabitating or having sex until one is already in their mid-20's, which is unrealistic not only to human nature, but also inept at building the requirements for lasting marriage as they are in this age.

 

[Sammy-San]

I have a problem with fornication and cohabitation being a sin before marriage for one prime reason alone:

These teachings were put forth in a society where it was not only common, but virtually expected that one would marry by the age of 16 years old.
In today's world, it typically doesn't happen until one is in their mid-20's, and it is almost certain that the bridge to that marriage will require a time of living together beforehand.

The modern parent, especially, does not do much justice in this regard. They often don't even want this sort of independence of their children until they are at these ages, and condemn any relationship abroad.

This creates a big problem for society and the supposed ordinance of these virtues, because the expectation becomes not cohabitating or having sex until one is already in their mid-20's, which is unrealistic not only to human nature, but also inept at building the requirements for lasting marriage as they are in this age.

Why are you saying that fornication is not a sin? The Bible clearly says in Corinthians that it is. 1 Corinthians 6:9

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.…

 

[CryOfALion]

Why are you saying that fornication is not a sin? The Bible clearly says in Corinthians that it is. 1 Corinthians 6:9

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.…

Sam, this is what I was alluding to.

Marriage in biblical terms is when people have sex. This is why Christ told the woman at the well she had several husbands, when she was never married by the state. Adam and Eve were married under the union of intercourse. Many religious leaders will have you believe that God requires a state license to honor the union of two people becoming one flesh. Not so.

This is also why adultery is the only thing to nullify a marriage under God - not a breach of contract. This is because when you leave your mate and have seen with another person, you have broken that union to make you one flesh, and have cleaved yourself to another person - married to the new person under God.

Look for yourself, and see where God says that a union under Him requires a paper or scrolled license from a respective nation in order to validate your marriage. Fornication is frivolous sex - messing with one person, on to the next. That is the spiritual danger of fornication - cleaving yourself to multiple souls/people.

Cohabitation isn't sinful unless you involve sins - like lust. If you decide you want spend the rest of your life with someone, you should make sure you are serious before having sexton wi the them. Because, once you two have sex, under God you are one flesh. Marriage, as it were, is a business contract, used in the past as an agreement between houses/families/dynasties - symbolizing a joining of two estates. That is marriage per a certificate/contract. This is why divorce usually costs 10x the amount of money/resources that marriage contracts costs.

 

[WindStaff]

Why are you saying that fornication is not a sin? The Bible clearly says in Corinthians that it is. 1 Corinthians 6:9

Context and contrast is king here.

As far as context, the word was more directed toward having sex with no exclusivity.

As far as contrast- in those times, the typical age for marriage way younger then today's standards. The majority of people today marry roughly between 20-28 years old. In those times, it was as early as 15.

That's not a long time at all between sexual blossoming and marriage. Also, marriage was very often more formal then today's standards, which virtually always includes a two year run, including living together, before marriage is even in the works.

This makes the sex before marriage thing more technical then reasonable. I doubt Paul, as you have quoted, would agree that your interpretation of his writings is what he meant to insinuate. It's just not reasonable for people in their 20's- more then grown adults by the ancient standard, to wait that amount of time before indulging in sex. Especially if it's pretty much required that they live together. How many people honestly have a genuine option not to live with their partner until marriage in this day?

Now don't get me wrong, if a couple manages to refrain from either/or until marriage then I respect that. It's a very holy thing, actually. But I think it's far reasonable to consider the latter to be morally neutral rather then immoral.

 

[SillyFool]

WindStaff "It's just not reasonable for people in their 20's- more then grown adults by the ancient standard, to wait that amount of time before indulging in sex. Especially if it's pretty much required that they live together. How many people honestly have a genuine option not to live with their partner until marriage in this day?"

Whaaaaat??

Who or what is "requiring" you to live with your partner? Why is it not possible to not live with your partner before marriage? And why did no one tell me?!

 

[WindStaff]

Who or what is "requiring" you to live with your partner?

MODERN DAY EXPECTATIONS AND REQUIREMENTS

You don't know a single person who didn't cohabitate with their partner before marriage, and it's likely that you don't know of a couple who genuinely abstained until marriage.

You tell me why this is_

 

[SillyFool]

Friend, I am a single person I know who has not cohabitated before marriage. I have plenty of friends who are now married who had not lived together or slept together before their marriage.
I'll grant that it's rare-ish today... but "required" to cohabitate? You'll have to explain that to me.

 

[WindStaff]

Friend, I am a single person I know who has not cohabitated before marriage. I have plenty of friends who are now married who had not lived together or slept together before their marriage.
I'll grant that it's rare-ish today... but "required" to cohabitate? You'll have to explain that to me.

You live in a rare circle, friend. With uncommon options.

For a great many people, it is required in a long relationship before marriage that they co-habitate. They have responsibilities, their parents are eager for them to be independent, they are on tight budgets, and so on.

The most logical course to take is for them to move in together, at the very least by or at the time of their engagement. It simply just doesn't do well for two who are engaged to be both living separately and not having intercourse.
Maybe under perfect circumstances, but there is a lot of imperfection to go around. It simply just isn't worth it to refrain from building any sort of foundation before marriage, which today takes about three years on average to come in.
They are typically, at the youngest, well into their 20's by that time.

I don't think Paul meant to establish this car wreck of a moral demand. In his time, it was usual to move out and get married by the time people today are in their junior year in high school.

 

[SillyFool]

You ought to read through some of the "Young Adults" threads; I think you'd be encouraged by what you see there. There are a lot more 20somethings out there than you might expect who haven't even had their first kiss yet.

WindStaff "It simply just doesn't do well for two who are engaged to be both living separately and not having intercourse."

Why? I haven't seen that in my friends' lives. Those who did not have sex were glad they hadn't; those who did wished they hadn't.

I'm not married yet. I understand sexual temptation, but just because it's difficult doesn't mean waiting is wrong.

Like I said above, is moving in together going to aid a couple in growing in Love, Humility, Faithfulness, Chastity and all the virtues unto complete conformity to the image of Christ? Will it help them renounce sin, overcome temptation, and heal their souls?

I don't know. But they should know, before they do it.

 

[Unix]

There are no actual benefits whatsoever to cohabit so I fail to see why it would even be exciting to:

Like I said above, is moving in together going to aid a couple in growing in Love, Humility, Faithfulness, Chastity and all the virtues unto complete conformity to the image of Christ? Will it help them renounce sin, overcome temptation, and heal their souls?

I don't know. But they should know, before they do it.

 

[ChristsSoldier115]

It isn't a sin, but it probably isn't wise. I don't view it as sinful, but setting yourself up for failure.

You're pretty much placing yourself into a possible sinful situation. It is like a sober alcoholic going to bars every night.

I wouldn't do it. I am a passionate person and wouldn't want to risk it.

 

[juvenissun]

Fornication is definitley a sin, but is it a sin for a couple to live together before marriage?

In order to answer this question, we should think about in reverse order: Why do we develop a marriage system? It is a universal system across time and culture. There MUST BE a good reason for it.

What are the reasons?

Now, after answer that, then we can think: Does cohabitation put one or some of the reasons in doubt?

I think even put God aside, the answer is obvious.