I'm Pentecostal, he's Presbyterian... what now?

[EbonyWonder]

I'm in a long distance relationship with my Presbyterian boyfriend. I'm Pentecostal, but I've been researching the things in common between the two, the differences, the beliefs of presbyterianism, etc. I'm concerned how this is going to work because my older brother Jake is marrying someone who isn't a Pentecostal but he is, and I hear my parents talk about how they can work out and work things out all the time. I'll be 16 later this year and my bf is almost 18.. We're very serious about each other and want to work things out. But this all scares me. (Note: I've been going through depression and anxiety around the past two years and my bf is the only person I know who can make me feel better or even smile when I'm upset. He knows about this, as well.) I don't want to lose him because of differences so I'm trying to work something out. I've gotten advice from 3 other people (who aren't christians) and they say just to wait and see... But I need advice from another christian. I've prayed about this a lot but I haven't been going to church lately because of family issues with someone in the church and how it's being run. :/ Hopefully I'll hear from someone soon.. Thanks and God bless!

 

[gideon123]

potatoes ... potaatoes
tomatoes ... tomaatoes
lets call the whole thing off !

Hahahahahahahahaha !
Couldn't help mentioning the lines from the OLD song.

You can't be serious, really?
You're going to let a quibble about denominations ruin your romance?
What ever happened to the power of true love?

Sheeesh ... it's like Romeo and Juliet are a faded memory these days.
Hahahahaha !

Gideon123

 

[EbonyWonder]

Yeah, but 'Romeo and Juliet' also died and it was a play. Without seriousness there'll be arguments about religion and blah blah blah. I'm not saying there won't be at all, but I'm saying along with love there should be some seriousness so that things stay under control. I don't want to not be serious and then something happen.. because it most likely will. Lol ... I guess thanks anyways.. Have a nice day.

 

[ChrisHolland619]

You are..15? And you're talking about "serious relationships"? I can't tell if you're being serious or not, no offense.

If you ARE being serious, however, I recommend reading some scripture regarding the issue:

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you." 2 Corinthians 6:14-17

Now, we know from studying the Word that this scripture is specifically talking about being equally yoked with an unbeliever in a business relationship or a marital relationship. However, we can apply this to many situations.

You can be unequally yoked with a believer. It's called spiritual maturity, and what you specifically believe. People of different denominations believe very different things, and how can you be spiritually yoked with someone who doesn't believe what you do? You can't.

In order to have a relationship that glorifies God, you must be spiritually yoked and on the same page as the other person, in order to move forward for Christ. The entire point of a marriage or relationship, after all, is to demonstrate the love of Christ and to glorify God therein.

Is it a sin? No, I don't think so specifically, but it results in being in a relationship that isn't all it could be for Christ.

 

[ChristineM130]

I am familiar with and like both churches. Both churches teach us to love Jesus and one another and follow the gospels. I don't think it's that big of a deal. You both read the same Bible!

If it's really important to you to be with someone who attends your church, then you should do that. That said, if that isn't the case, then personally, I don't think coming from different churches will affect your ability to get along much. Most Christians I know entering into marriage are not too concerned with denomination, except for certain denominations that call for that, such as the Orthodox and Catholic churches. If you do marry, you can always find a church that you like to attend together, especially since you're having social issues at the one you go to. Jesus never said He'd love the Pentacostals but not the Presbyterians.

I feel like you might be scared about getting serious and trying to find something concrete to pin your fear to. Which is okay, you're young, I'm scared for you. It's hard to get serious when you are so young. I wish I would have practiced abstinence when I was young and encourage you to really study up on the benefits of waiting to have sex. Not only for you, but in my only life, I'm engaged and I'm totally there myself... I think I might even be crazy for now! When we're afraid, the flesh tries to do a bunch of things to compensate for it. Being scared to get involved with someone is nothing to be ashamed of, especially since you're young.

You're not going to find someone identical to you in regards to faith, ever. You are unique! If you want to be in a relationship with someone who goes to a different church, I can't see any way that is a sin or will cause you mass difficulty in the future. And if you don't want to be with him for whatever reason, that's okay, too. You are young and don't need to be tied down if you don't want to. You're also old enough that you can have a boyfriend, as long as that is what you want and you don't let anything get in the way of this beautiful faith you have

 

[EbonyWonder]

Yes, I am serious about this ... but Thanks. I will read up more on this.

 

[EbonyWonder]

I am familiar with and like both churches. Both churches teach us to love Jesus and one another and follow the gospels. I don't think it's that big of a deal. You both read the same Bible!

If it's really important to you to be with someone who attends your church, then you should do that. That said, if that isn't the case, then personally, I don't think coming from different churches will affect your ability to get along much. Most Christians I know entering into marriage are not too concerned with denomination, except for certain denominations that call for that, such as the Orthodox and Catholic churches. If you do marry, you can always find a church that you like to attend together, especially since you're having social issues at the one you go to. Jesus never said He'd love the Pentacostals but not the Presbyterians.

I feel like you might be scared about getting serious and trying to find something concrete to pin your fear to. Which is okay, you're young, I'm scared for you. It's hard to get serious when you are so young. I wish I would have practiced abstinence when I was young and encourage you to really study up on the benefits of waiting to have sex. Not only for you, but in my only life, I'm engaged and I'm totally there myself... I think I might even be crazy for now! When we're afraid, the flesh tries to do a bunch of things to compensate for it. Being scared to get involved with someone is nothing to be ashamed of, especially since you're young.

You're not going to find someone identical to you in regards to faith, ever. You are unique! If you want to be in a relationship with someone who goes to a different church, I can't see any way that is a sin or will cause you mass difficulty in the future. And if you don't want to be with him for whatever reason, that's okay, too. You are young and don't need to be tied down if you don't want to. You're also old enough that you can have a boyfriend, as long as that is what you want and you don't let anything get in the way of this beautiful faith you have

Yes, I believe you're right about the whole being scared thing. I admit I am.. I do want me and him to attend the same church together on sunday mornings, but I think I'll go to a few services at his church with him to start things off. Him and I are going to talk more today about it. But Thank you for what you said. It helped..

 

[Boidae]

From my own experience in my marriage and the fact that my wife was attending a church that was non-denom but had strong leanings towards being Pentecostal/Charismatic it has caused some issues within our marriage.

I wasn't a Christian when I met my wife. Yes, I had been in the Catholic church through confirmation, but when it comes down to it, I couldn't call myself a Christian. Plus, I had walked away from the catholic church in my teens.

When I met my wife, I started attending her church and pretty much from the start I wasn't comfortable in that type of congregation. Once I became a Christian (in a different church that we tried) and we went back to her church, the Holy Spirit that resides in me kept telling me that this church isn't right, this church isn't right.

When I told my wife, this became a battle because not only was the Holy Spirit telling me to leave, He was telling me to take my wife with me. She kept telling me she wasn't feeling that, that she wants to stay. We had many arguments about it, and when we argue today, at times it's still brought up, even though she no longer goes to that church and hasn't for 1 1/2 years.

I'm not saying that the Pentecostalism is bad or no one should attend such a church, but it's not for everyone as is the case with me. My wife liked the people and the service and what the pastor promised, but she did follow me out after some long battles.

What I am saying is, just be aware that he may not want to go to your church after giving it a try and listen to his reasons why he may not want to go and do your best to understand them.

 

[peggy sue]

I'm in a long distance relationship with my Presbyterian boyfriend. I'm Pentecostal, but I've been researching the things in common between the two, the differences, the beliefs of presbyterianism, etc. I'm concerned how this is going to work because my older brother Jake is marrying someone who isn't a Pentecostal but he is, and I hear my parents talk about how they can work out and work things out all the time. I'll be 16 later this year and my bf is almost 18.. We're very serious about each other and want to work things out. But this all scares me. (Note: I've been going through depression and anxiety around the past two years and my bf is the only person I know who can make me feel better or even smile when I'm upset. He knows about this, as well.) I don't want to lose him because of differences so I'm trying to work something out. I've gotten advice from 3 other people (who aren't christians) and they say just to wait and see... But I need advice from another christian. I've prayed about this a lot but I haven't been going to church lately because of family issues with someone in the church and how it's being run. :/ Hopefully I'll hear from someone soon.. Thanks and God bless!

if your bf is the only person who can make you feel better, then your not ready for any serious relationship, for his sake also, you need figure out and address your depression and anxiety before you bring a whole new list of variables into the picture. solve this problem first and then you will be ready to address differences in faith with bf's

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I don't think it will work out well, personally.

 

[ChristineM130]

I don't think it will work out well, personally.

As far as marriage is concerned, I don't think many relationships ultimately work out well when you're 16... Yet people that age generally want someone to go to prom with and go on dates with. My boyfriend when I was 15 was a disaster. If he's a nice boy who loves Jesus and respects purity and makes her happy, I think that's all you can ask for out of teenagers in relationships. If they are abstinent and not looking to marry right away, children are a distant thought and a lot will change in the 5 or 10 years before they're prepared to marry. I don't think denomination matters at this point at all.

After all, when my fiance and I were at those ages, he attended the Episcopal church he was raised in and I'd never attended church or cracked open a Bible. Now we are not only both committed to the Lord but attend the same church. If the relationship is appropriate to that life stage, this shouldn't really be an issue. At 16, the most blessed she can really be in romance is having someone who loves the Lord and makes her happy, respects her body enough to wait, doesn't want to rush into marriage, and an enjoyable date. Or happily single.