I Wrote A POEM!!!

[Nick_Loves_Abba]

Ok, I havent been here in SUCH A LONG TIME!  I realize this haha.  I was up last night, feeling inspired.  So here's somethin I wrote.  What do you all think?  Honest constructive criticism???

 Yesteryear's Road



walking along in my dream

i wondered an endless rode

after yesterdays end

but before tomorrow’s glow

 

i was walking backwards it seemed

to where i had been before

back beyond the sunset

and back just a little more

 

i saw myself sitting

deep in the woods

with the girl i married

or rather---would

 

we were younger than

by too many years

she was bright with laughter

and stained with few tears

 

she told me she loved me

i said it in return

we sat there for hours

not heeding times turn

 

i then turned around

back into time

into the years

where she was mine

 

the wedding bells were ringing

the priest said his lines

we were happily-ever after

until the end of time

 

the wedding night had came

we triumphed life’s weather

i held her through the night

we had planned out lives together

 

the tears began to appear

as i walked ever on

forward through yesteryear

forward and beyond

 

she was in my arms again

our children were outside

we watched out the window

at our little boys slide

 

i turned away then

not able to hide

i went further ahead

not helping but cry

 

the lights were fading by

to my left and right

the steps are closer now

are closer to my time

 

i saw a vision

of my one and only love

we were sitting on a bench

reflecting on the above

 

the moonlight gleamed upon us

as fate sat us alone

we were much older then

our gray had truly shown

 

the lines on our face

were that of age

her old hand in mine

as we got to our last page

 

we talked through the night

this i will always remember

the stars were shining

in silver little embers

 

our kids were grown

our lives all complete

our love still as strong

as strong as could be

 

she was still as beautiful

as she had ever been

she was, and always will be

my love, my best friend

 

i turn away

i cant take any more

out last moments together

before God had opened his door

 

she left in my arms

the way she entered my life

i held her lifeless on that bench

my incredible wife

 

her funeral was beautiful

i kissed her good-bye

knowing i’d see her again

dripping her with my cries

 

all my nights now-

-now are as lonely as ever

i still kiss her goodnight

through a picture we had taken together

 

i had collected myself

upon that double-edged street

i wipe away my tears

standing incomplete

 

i look down the road

to where tomorrow leads

praying that when i wake

i will no longer be

 

[Kookaburra]

whoa . . . very deep. Veeeery deep. There's a lot of meaning infused in that poem . . . I like it!

 

[oncewaslost]

very good!

 

[onecrazycowgirl]

Hehe, haven't seen ya around forever, good to see you!


I think that's really good - I love your use of locations, and the 'moonlight gleamed upon us' - creats such a vivid mental picture. Great work

 

[Blessed-one]

hey Nick, haven't seen you for awhile.

great poem! makes me feel sad and comforted at the same time. If only this kind of love is that easy...