HUGE Furry porn problem

[Recoveryinprogress]

Ok, here's the skinny. I'm going to lay down my internet life story. Here we go.

As a teen, I got addicted to pornography. However, I wasn't just addicted to any kind of pornography, I was addicted to FURRY porn.

For those that are not aware, the term "furry" is used with people who are fascinated by with anthropomorphic animals, animals that have a lot of human characteristics.

These things are usually drawings of cartoon characters from tv shows, video games, and whatnot.

In any case, growing up I started not only to view it, but to draw it as well. I've had a small following on Furaffinity, a website filled with anthro art. The people there were very nice. Some Christian, some weren't. In 2013, I started another stage in my pornographic life that I wasn't too proud of, but did anyway for the fun of it. I viewed drawings of adult pictures of characters from an ever-growing cartoon show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Pretty soon, I even drew a couple of fan art myself.

Then, my dad eventually found my deepest, darkest secrets. He found out that I looked at that kind of stuff, and called me to talk to him one day. He is a pastor of a church and said that I wasn't only destroying myself, but him as well. By using his internet for years of smut searching, he could fall victim to the NSA, should they ever use their power to wipe out Christian churches. I was devastated to learn that I did that much damage to him, and quickly turned to destroy my work and stop my fooling around online on the spot. However, as the days went by, I find it hard to go back, not just because of the art, but because of the community. I know that they were of the world, but I miss the friends and well-wishers of those that love me. Heck, being addicted to the art introduced me to a church-going user that strongly loves Christ to be my best friend, even to this day.

I don't want to leave the community and I don't want to stop making art. I just need it to be cleaner, but I don't want to fall into pornography again for dad's sake.

What am I to do...?

 

[raven1]

Just free yourself from it. Ask for Gods help. It isn't pleasing to him.

 

[Johnnz]

Can you redirect your art to different subjects? You will find communities associated with various art styles and interests.

John
NZ

 

[deshawncdap]

Sever it from yourself. God will definitely help you remove the desires of your heart that is causing you to stumble and fall. I know the feeling too well of struggling with pornography, including furry. However, it doesn't matter what type it is, we're still lusting and seeking to please ourselves more than God. I know that there may be people in that community who aren't inherently troubling you, but God will supply what you need-- His Spirit, community in Christ, and His strength. You only have to trust him and move forward. I'll be praying for you and if you ever want to talk, I'm available.

 

[ILoveJesusAndAmerica]

Well, I am a furry, too, I love anthropomorphic animals and I have struggled with the porn part of it, too. Just try to fight it as much as possible.

 

[GentleTobias]

Examine your heart and try to discern what exactly draws you to want to draw furry. Clean Art in itself isn't bad but if this art causes you to stumble you need to cut it from your life. Try not to beat yourself up over this. You are not ruining your father's life.

 

[Begat]

If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off. If your right eye causes you to sin, cut it out.

I've heard of various people having addictions to MLP, and from what I've seen, even when it's not involved porn, the addictiveness of it has been really unhealthy in a spiritual sense. I've become addicted to anime in that way before. There wasn't anything sexual or pornographic about it, but I couldn't get the stuff out of my head so that I could pray and seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit, and it even populated my dreams at night. My spiritual life and my productivity takes a nosedive every time I get the stuff on YouTube, and then that leads me into other kinds of sin further down the line. I can't put my finger on it, but I think there just has to be something wrong with something that steals that much of our affections. If MLP is doing that to you, please don't be deceived by how friendly and nice it looks, or how good the messages about friendship seem. We're not dealing with flesh, blood or even animated cartoons - but behind everything, I firmly believe that there are powers and principalities and spiritual forces at work that will do anything to stop a Christian from being productive for God, and especially a pastor's kid, and they'll use any material that comes to hand.

I think the advice on here has been mainly pretty good. From a dispassionate outsider perspective, sever sounds like a safe option. You might have met a good Christian friend, but there are other grounds on which to be friends than MLP and furry. If they are spiritually mature, they will understand what's most important. At the end of the day, even Christian friends sometimes have to be severed if they're part of the reason why you're not able to be fruitful for God.

Also... I really get what your dad is saying. He's a pastor, and he is under immense pressure to set a good example to his congregation, both for their sake and his. However, I do not think that it is ideal to do anything out of fear or intimidation or guilt trips, if this is what you feel he, or your own private thoughts and concerns, are doing to you. Even if it hurts, please just try to do it out of love, and out of a desire to give God back what's his.

I know some of this advice has been tough man, but I do feel for you. Please don't let anything stop you from doing what you need to free yourself from this trap - even Satan can disguise himself as an angel of light.

 

[SaltwaterHeart]

Can you redirect your art to different subjects? You will find communities associated with various art styles and interests.

John
NZ

I agree with this! The furry community is huge, and same goes with the My Little Pony community. There are those who are into the porn, and those who are not. You can associate yourself with the clean side of both fandoms, and draw clean artwork. There are even communities for Christian furries, and Christian bronies.