Jesus said that if anyone whats to come after him, he must deny himself and pick up his daily and follow him. How do you that? By going around doing good deeds? By not watching certain television shows? I never understood what that meant.
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how do you deny yourself
- Thread starter sonny1293
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Jesus said that it's easier for a camel to go through an eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven. Most rich people will put there money and possesions before God. So when he says to deny yourself, he is saying don't put your faith in worldly things or possessions. So if you are doing things that you know may not be pleasing to God, you have to want to make an effort to stop doing those things, and instead do things that are pleasing to God.
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ValleyGal
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I think it also means that you resist the temptation to act and react the way you normally would in your sinful nature. Example - if someone curses you or says something to hurt you, natural inclination is to respond by snapping back or by defense or withdrawal, or whatever you would "naturally" do, but the Bible says to pray for those who hate you and do good to those who harm you and love your enemies. That is the godly way to react. So you deny yourself by having self control over how you would naturally react, and replace it with what God calls us to do. It is about other-centrism rather than egocentrism.
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hopeinGod
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Denying oneself is the very essence of sanctification or the process by which we cooperate to set apart our emotions, affections, thoughts and intents unto God.
Self-confidence is said by the world to be a key to success. Jesus, however, told us that self-denial is the key to transformation. "He that speaks of himself," He said, "seeks his own glory." We are, instead, to seek God's glory, not our own.
From Proverbs: "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her." When we exhalt the truth, which the world is not able to abide in this day, we are, essentially, promoting ourselves.
Self-confidence is said by the world to be a key to success. Jesus, however, told us that self-denial is the key to transformation. "He that speaks of himself," He said, "seeks his own glory." We are, instead, to seek God's glory, not our own.
From Proverbs: "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her." When we exhalt the truth, which the world is not able to abide in this day, we are, essentially, promoting ourselves.
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Thank you. This is a problem for me. I have been hurt by people many times, so I ended up getting rid of all my friends, isolating myself, and hardly speaking to people that are friendly to me because I am trying to guard my feelings. Don't me get wrong, I am not having a pity party. I love the isolation and keeping to myself. I am just curious if I am wrong for pushing my friends away. Does that displease Christ?
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ValleyGal
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Being straight-forward and honest, yes, it hurts Jesus. There are some unhealthy relationships that need to be distanced, yes, but that is a last resort, not just because they hurt you. A lot of people hurt Jesus when they betrayed, denied, accused, tried, convicted, tortured and crucified Jesus. He responded by asking God to forgive them, and he made the excuse for them "they don't know what they are doing."
I think the question would be "why are you trying to guard your feelings?" To keep from getting hurt again? The focus is on you, on self-preservation rather than on extension of grace and appropriate boundaries. People say hurtful things to others all the time. You have even said hurtful things to others, possibly without even knowing it. But this is why grace and mercy are so important.
God calls us to live in relationship and community with others. It is in this community that we mature and grow as believers. There is a Bible verse that says "do not forsake the fellowship of the believers." By isolating yourself from friends, etc, you are in disobedience to this command, and depriving yourself and others of the opportunity to grow.
I apologize if that sounds really blunt, and it is not intended to hurt, but to encourage you in the Lord to examine your heart - was there any truth to the things they said that hurt you? How did you contribute to the hurtful situation? How can you go about living at peace with all, as far as it depends on you? What do you need to do in order to forgive them? How can you go about becoming part of a community in spite of the risk of being hurt again? What steps can you take to learn to trust people, and how can you learn who to trust?
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I am glad you were blunt. I just don't know where to start socializing. Yes, there was some truth in what they've said. And yes, I have hurt people, and I have done it knowingly. When I pushed people away that hurt them. I wanted to do it before they did it to me. And now I know I need to make it right, but I don't like reaching out to people for fear of rejection.
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ValleyGal
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Most of us are driven by our fears. What is the worst that could happen if they reject you?
It really is hard to do something in spite of some of our deepest fears. But one of the ways to overcome fear is exposure to that which causes the fear. Thinking, feeling and acting are a never-ending chain reaction. It's about putting the chain into order. Behave first as though you do not have the feelings that you do (fear). As time goes on, your exposure to the fear changes the way you think about it, so it is not so scary. And when you do think about it, take those thoughts captive and make them obedient. IOW, even if you are rejected, tell yourself that it might not have been a healthy relationship to pursue, and you will keep trying to find healthy people and form relationships with them. Eventually, you will not have such a fear of rejection.
Most of our fears come from faulty beliefs.
It is hard, it is challenging, and it might go against every cell in your body to make yourself vulnerable. But given the right people and being obedient to the Lord, makes it worth the challenge.
It really is hard to do something in spite of some of our deepest fears. But one of the ways to overcome fear is exposure to that which causes the fear. Thinking, feeling and acting are a never-ending chain reaction. It's about putting the chain into order. Behave first as though you do not have the feelings that you do (fear). As time goes on, your exposure to the fear changes the way you think about it, so it is not so scary. And when you do think about it, take those thoughts captive and make them obedient. IOW, even if you are rejected, tell yourself that it might not have been a healthy relationship to pursue, and you will keep trying to find healthy people and form relationships with them. Eventually, you will not have such a fear of rejection.
Most of our fears come from faulty beliefs.
It is hard, it is challenging, and it might go against every cell in your body to make yourself vulnerable. But given the right people and being obedient to the Lord, makes it worth the challenge.
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The truth is once we die to ourselves (which I am not there yet by any means) rejection doesn't hurt anymore. That's really when we experience true liberty.
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D
dennis1777
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Surrender yourself completely to the Lord. Entrust yourself into His hands that He may some day reign in your heart. For His love is greater than hate, darkness, ego/pride, the flesh, the Devil, sin and the world at large. We have attachments to these things and to completely surrender and leave behind attachments we need to lean on the Master, sit in His presence in silence 'listening', speak with Him with our whole heart. We NEED HIm to allow the work of the spirit in us. The old adhage let go and let God. Discipleship and service is part of it all.
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hopeinGod
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Some of the hurt many of us have experienced from other believers came while we were around arrogant, holier-than-thou, over zealous novices.
It is my belief that once people are saved they need to be placed in a corral for a few years, told to sit under stabilizing teaching, then let loose. But that is not ever going to happen, so we have to decide how to deal with those who, by their very stage of growth in Christ, tend to cause disruption and offense.
At present, the daughter (and her husband) of a dear friend, saved less than a year ago, are so over zealous they judge everyone incessantly, tell all those they come in contact with how they ought to live their lives, and generally scatter the handful of verses they've so far learned like a shotgun blast. Not knowing the difference between religion and relationship, they cling to the former, and will so until God is able to change them. You can't talk to folks like them because they aren't able to hear anyone other than themselves. It's best, in situations like that, to keep a distance.
Paul and Barnabas separated because they had disagreements, so it's not uncommon for a long-standing separation to take place. In the meantime, however, you need to continue stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in breaking of bread (communion), and in prayers, perhaps at a gentler fellowship.
It is my belief that once people are saved they need to be placed in a corral for a few years, told to sit under stabilizing teaching, then let loose. But that is not ever going to happen, so we have to decide how to deal with those who, by their very stage of growth in Christ, tend to cause disruption and offense.
At present, the daughter (and her husband) of a dear friend, saved less than a year ago, are so over zealous they judge everyone incessantly, tell all those they come in contact with how they ought to live their lives, and generally scatter the handful of verses they've so far learned like a shotgun blast. Not knowing the difference between religion and relationship, they cling to the former, and will so until God is able to change them. You can't talk to folks like them because they aren't able to hear anyone other than themselves. It's best, in situations like that, to keep a distance.
Paul and Barnabas separated because they had disagreements, so it's not uncommon for a long-standing separation to take place. In the meantime, however, you need to continue stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in breaking of bread (communion), and in prayers, perhaps at a gentler fellowship.
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grandma dolittle
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I think denying yourself is when you would like to have something, but refuse to go after it because it would displease Christ.
I have been married three times and all three exs are still alive. I have been forgiven for my adultery, but to marry again would be in direct defiance to God's wishes. My first husband had an affair; the second had mental problems; the third was an alcoholic. I made poor choices because I did not wait for God to send the one he had planned for me. That does not stop me for wishing I had someone by my side. However, God has replaced the loneliness with contentment and I have peace.
I have been married three times and all three exs are still alive. I have been forgiven for my adultery, but to marry again would be in direct defiance to God's wishes. My first husband had an affair; the second had mental problems; the third was an alcoholic. I made poor choices because I did not wait for God to send the one he had planned for me. That does not stop me for wishing I had someone by my side. However, God has replaced the loneliness with contentment and I have peace.
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Sonny I really don't have advice about denying yourself. These brothers and sisters have done such a good job sharing.But, when you talk about being hurt and withdrawing from socializing, I do understand that, and it was words from the Bible and from a friend who helped me. I had practically become a hermit. But a friend told me to get out of the house, go to church, go to ball games, just don't give your heart totally away, that is for God. Being a very giving person, that made no sense to me. Then I read this verse
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
The NIV reads like this
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
Heartache and pain causes breaks in relationships. There is a passage which says that Jesus did not trust himself to certain people because he knew what was in their hearts.
Once you have put the proper guards on your heart, then venture back out among people. And be very careful about who you allow to get close enough to hurt you. Be selective, like Jesus. And, I think you will find that you are a little bit more friendly and a little bit less unfriendly with a little less tendency to be hurt, or to hurt others. My mother said to me once when I was a teenager and one of my close friends had hurt me. She said some people have to be fed with a long handled spoon. That means, love them, speak and say hello, smile and treat them nice, but do not let them close enough to hurt you again. Get out of the house, go to church Sonny, but be selective in close friendships. Guard your heart.
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
The NIV reads like this
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
Heartache and pain causes breaks in relationships. There is a passage which says that Jesus did not trust himself to certain people because he knew what was in their hearts.
Once you have put the proper guards on your heart, then venture back out among people. And be very careful about who you allow to get close enough to hurt you. Be selective, like Jesus. And, I think you will find that you are a little bit more friendly and a little bit less unfriendly with a little less tendency to be hurt, or to hurt others. My mother said to me once when I was a teenager and one of my close friends had hurt me. She said some people have to be fed with a long handled spoon. That means, love them, speak and say hello, smile and treat them nice, but do not let them close enough to hurt you again. Get out of the house, go to church Sonny, but be selective in close friendships. Guard your heart.
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